BamBam was standing outside the main entrance of his friends’ apartment block. After leaving his own apartment it was the first place he’d thought of to go but now he was there he was starting to think he’d made a mistake. Not only had he neglected to tell them he was coming but it was also 11.30 pm. This might not seem that late to some people but Jackson and Mark happened to be parents to not one but two six month old babies and that could be pretty tiring. There was a very real chance they might both be asleep. If he’d turned up at 9.00 pm that would probably still have been pushing it. But he was there now BamBam thought with a sigh and what’s more he’d already pressed the buzzer. There was no turning back from that. If they were angry with him for turning up so late uninvited then he’d just have to deal with it.

And yes, once he’d been buzzed in and he’d finally made it upstairs and through their front door he was unsurprisingly met by a none too impressed and clearly half asleep Jackson who’d muttered a gruff ‘this better be important’. This had been followed up by a folding of the arms and a glare.

Now usually BamBam would have shrugged this off, apologised quickly and told him that of course it was important. He wouldn’t be there at such a late hour if it wasn’t. And it wasn’t as if Jackson’s reaction had been unexpected, he could be moody at the best of times and he was quite clearly exhausted. BamBam knew Jackson well enough though to know that that moodiness wouldn’t last long. He was a good friend so as soon as he realised BamBam was upset and needed to talk he was bound to drop the attitude.  But right at the moment BamBam was in no state of mind to rationalise.  So he didn’t apologise to Jackson. He didn’t explain why he was there. No, what he did was burst into tears.

“What the…” he heard someone say and two seconds later that person was by his side, an arm going around him. Without thinking BamBam turned towards that person and hid his face in his sweatshirt.

Mark was the one who’d appeared at his side and he was now asking Jackson what on earth he’d just said to him as he let him sob into his shoulder.

“Nothing!” Jackson protested, sounding offended.

“You must have said something.” Mark argued as he started rubbing circles on his friend’s back in a bid to calm him down.

“I really didn’t.” Jackson insisted. “I just told him that whatever he had to say better be important. It’s nearly midnight and we’ve only just got the boys to sleep. He could have woken them up again, ringing that buzzer.”

“He didn’t though, did he?” Mark said, not sounding appeased in the slightest. “And obviously whatever he does have to say is important. I mean look at him!” he exclaimed, nodding at a still visibly upset BamBam. “He’s in pieces.”

“He wasn’t when I first answered the door.” Jackson mumbled grumpily, never one to back down. “He seemed fine.”

 “Well he’s not fine now, is he?” Mark pointed out and he stepped back from BamBam slightly so he could put a hand on each of his shoulders. “Come on,” he said gently, “let’s sit down.”

BamBam didn’t argue, letting Mark tow him to the sofa and push him down. He was over the worst of his immediate breakdown and as he came to his senses embarrassment was slowly starting to seep in. “I’m sorry.” He said, still sniffling slightly as he tried bring his breathing back to normal. “I didn’t m-mean to cry. And it’s not Jackson’s fault, I p-promise. “I j-just…”

He was doing it again he realised, a lump building in his throat as tears started streaming down his face. What was wrong with him? Yes, he had every right to be upset and emotional, but this was ridiculous. With a shuddering breath he fell back against the couch cushions and covered his face with his hands, trying to will himself to stop crying. It was like he had no control over himself at all, it was mortifying.

And Jackson was immediately at his side. “Hey, what’s wrong?” He asked as he took the seat next to him and wrapped an arm around his shoulders, pulling him into his side.

BamBam dropped his hands and shook his head. He still felt incredibly embarrassed but this didn’t stop him from throwing his arm around Jackson’s middle as he let his friend pull him closer. Yes, he was wishing the ground would swallow him up but Jackson gave really good hugs, even as distressed as he was he could appreciate that.

“If you don’t tell us we can’t help.” Mark added when no reply was forthcoming.

It took another minute or so for BamBam to get enough of a grip on himself to say anything at all but neither Mark nor Jackson pushed him any further. They waited patiently, Jackson rubbing a hand up and down his arm, Mark perched on the edge of the armchair to his right looking worried.

“Yugyeom…”  he finally managed to say, voice hoarse now from all the crying he’d been doing, “…. Yugyeom asked me to marry him.”

This time it was Mark and Jackson who couldn’t find the words.

“Yugyeom what?” Mark said at last.

“And that’s a bad thing?” Jackson blurted at the same time.

“Yes it is. It's a very bad thing  because I told him no.” BamBam explained, sitting up slightly and rubbing at his eyes with his sleeve. “I told him no, I wasn’t going to marry him and he looked so devastated and now he might never talk to me again. And I need him. I can’t marry him. That’s stupid, we’re too young for that a-and he didn’t mean it, when he asked, he couldn’t have. After what I told him he can't be thinking straight. But I need him, I really n-need him right now. I’m so stupid. I should have said maybe. I should have said I’ll th-think about it. But I didn’t, I just said no, I shut him down… I pushed him away… it was thoughtless and I hurt him and… and… what if after what I said he doesn’t want us anymore?”

Jackson, stunned by the torrent of words that had just come from his friend’s mouth stopped rubbing at his arm and stared down at him in bemusement, not knowing what to say.

It was Mark who was observant enough to pick up on his word choice and question it. “Us?” he asked softly.

“Yes, us.” BamBam repeated, and the knowing look Mark was giving him making him feel inexplicably nervous he began fiddling with the bracelet he was wearing.

“How far along are you?” Mark asked next, expression softening.

“I don’t know…” BamBam said quietly, still focussed on spinning the bracelet around on his wrist, “… six weeks? Maybe seven? I’ve been feeling pretty rough for a while but I didn’t think much of it at first. I mean it’s winter, everyone’s ill.”

Mark nodded in understanding. “It’s an easy assumption to make. You feel tired and run down, a bit sick maybe, it’s natural to think they’re just symptoms of whatever bug is going around. I mean we were actively trying for a baby and I still thought those early symptoms might just be me coming down with something.”

And that was what it took for Jackson to finally comprehend what was going on. “Wait…” he said slowly, understanding dawning, “… wait a minute. That’s what this is about? You’re pregnant?”

BamBam, too tired and emotionally drained to do much else just nodded.

“Since when?” Jackson exclaimed, tone accusatory.

“He’s told us that already,” Mark said, giving him a withering look “since six or seven weeks ago.”

“You know what I meant.” Jackson retorted.

“It’s been a week.” BamBam answered before it could descend into an argument. “I found out a week ago. I’d been feeling sick and tired for ages and it was getting worse and not better and after thinking about why that might be I figured it wouldn’t hurt to buy a test. But even then I didn't think it would come to anything, not really. Even as I was waiting for the result I thought I was just being paranoid, that I’d wasted my money…”

“But you hadn’t wasted your money. The test came back positive.” Mark finished for him.

“Yes.” BamBam admitted with a sigh. “And Yugyeom knew as soon as