Jaebum watched from his spot on the bed as Yugyeom picked up a sleep shirt and shorts and made his way out of their room, the door closing behind him. He was heading to the bathroom to get changed and Jaebum found himself frowning.

Since coming back from the hospital this had become Yugyeom’s new routine. Whether he was getting ready for bed or getting dressed in the morning he’d gather his clothes and head to the bathroom, not coming out again until he was fully changed.  And Jaebum was starting to find it a little worrying. There was nothing intrinsically wrong with wanting a bit of privacy when you were getting dressed it just wasn’t something Yugyeom had ever bothered himself about before. Even when they were newly dating he’d had no qualms about getting undressed in front of Jaebum. And Jaebum had at first been confused about why it would bother him now. They weren’t newly dating anymore, they were married. They had a baby. They knew each other inside out. There was no reason for Yugyeom to be acting shy.

And then he started thinking about other changes in Yugyeom’s behaviour that he’d noticed.

Yugyeom usually spent a good twenty minutes in the shower in the morning. Since bringing Joohyung home he’d cut it down to five. Jaebum had put this down to how busy they’d been with a new baby to look after but Joohyung had settled into a routine now. He was usually asleep at that time in the morning so Yugyeom didn’t have to rush anymore. He was still doing it though. He was still in and out of the bathroom within ten minutes, switching pyjama shorts and t-shirt for jogging bottoms and yet another t-shirt.

Which was another thing Jaebum found strange. Even when pregnant Yugyeom had put thought into what he was going to wear in the morning.  He’d take time picking out an outfit, laying clothes on the bed so he could see them better before deciding what to wear. Now he just didn’t seem to care. And that wasn’t a bad thing, why should he care about what other people thought of the way he dressed? And again, they’d been busy and choosing an outfit ate up valuable time. But they weren’t nearly as busy now and putting that together with everything else made it more of a concern than it would have been if that was the only change he’d noticed.

There was more to it than trying to save time, Jaebum knew there was. It wasn’t just that he was making less effort with his appearance. Yugyeom was shying away from physical contact too. And again Jaebum had at first put this down the baby. Yugyeom hadn’t had the easiest labour and in the first few days they’d been home Jaebum could see he was suffering because of it. He’d quite obviously still been in pain and no one wanted to be smothered in hugs when they were hurting.

But it had been over month now and Yugyeom still wasn’t back to his affectionate self. He wasn’t avoiding contact completely. He was fine with a kiss on the cheek, a peck on the mouth, hand holding or an arm draped over his shoulders. But if Jaebum was to go in for a back hug he didn’t even have the chance to rest his head on Yugyeom’s shoulder before the younger was making his excuses and pulling away. He had clothes to wash or bottles to sterilise. And if Jaebum took a seat beside him on the couch Yugyeom would immediately have a cushion hugged to him, using it like a shield against any attempted snuggling.

Jaebum was trying not to take it personally but it was hard not to. He was a very tactile person and while Joohyung was there to hand whenever he felt like he needed some human contact, and baby hugs were some of the best he still missed being close to Yugyeom. He missed cuddles on the couch and waking up in with Yugyeom’s head on his chest.

He’d thought about mentioning it. Asking Yugyeom what was wrong. But he hadn’t wanted to push it. Being a new parent was stressful enough and he didn’t want to risk turning it into a bigger deal than it was. Because it wasn’t that he was annoyed by Yugyeom’s attitude. Okay, maybe he felt a little put out about it, a little needy whenever Yugyeom dodged a hug, but he wasn’t about to make Yugyeom feel bad about it. He was worried, that was all. What if Yugyeom was avoiding him because he was struggling and felt unable to say so? What if this had less to do with how he was feeling physically and more about how he felt about and viewed himself? A lot of things had changed lately and maybe he was having a hard time with that. That was something that was much harder to fix.

But how was supposed to ask that without putting Yugyeom on the spot and making him feel worse?

He’d leave it he decided as Yugyeom came back into the room, ready for bed and a smile on his face. They’d had a good day, Joohyung  was getting used the routine they were trying to set for him and Yugyeom looked happy. As he should, if all went well their little boy wouldn’t be awake again until it was time for his scheduled feed at 4.30 and it was Jaebum’s turn for that. That meant if Yugyeom was lucky he was about to get a full night’s sleep and Jaebum wasn’t about to ruin that for him by asking him questions. There would be plenty of time for that in the morning, it was the weekend and they had no concrete plans. He’d talk to him then.

“Ready for bed?” Was what he settled on asking instead.

“More than ready.” Yugyeom told him as he made his way further into the room. “We didn’t do much today but I’m so tired. I could probably sleep for a week.”

They hadn’t done much that day but the rest of the week had been a whirlwind of visiting friends and relatives so it was no wonder Yugyeom was tired. “Come on then.” Jaebum said, throwing back the covers on Yugyeom’s side of the bed. “Get in and you can sleep in for as long as you want tomorrow.”

“I can’t.” Yugyeom argued, taking his spot beside Jaebum in the bed. “If you’re doing the early hpurs feed then it’s my turn for the early morning one.”

“I can do both.” Jaebum offered. Yugyeom deserved some real rest. He hadn’t had a full night’s sleep in months. He’d found it hard to sleep when he’d been pregnant, especially in his third trimester and it was only in the last week or so that Joohyung had been sleeping for more than a couple of hours at a time.

“You don’t have to.” Yugyeom told him. “You need sleep too.”

“I want to.” Jaebum countered. “Spending time with our son isn’t a chore you know.” His eyes drifting to the Moses basket at the end of the bed. “I enjoy it. And you’re exhausted, you said so yourself.”

“Tired.” Yugyeom amended, getting under the covers and making himself more comfortable. “I said tired. And I’ll do it. If you’re going to be up at four am it’s only fair I feed him at seven.”

“How about if you wake up first you feed him and if I’m awake before you then I do it?” Jaebum suggested, not giving up.

Yugyeom thought about this for a second, brow creasing then nodded. “Sure.” He agreed. “If you’re the one doing the early am feed then you’ll be dead to the world at seven so it’s going to be me anyway.” He reasoned. “Now turn out the light so we can both get some sleep before then.”

Jaebum wasn’t convinced . Yugyeom was a pretty heavy sleeper too. It would take just as long for the alarm to wake him he was sure. But he didn’t argue. He did as he’d been told and turned off the bedside lamp, settling down beside Yugyeom. “There, better?” He asked.

“Better.” Yugyeom mumbled.

This was almost followed by a yawn and Jaebum found himself smiling. Yugyeom was cute when he was tired. Which was most of the time lately he had to admit. It would be nice if he really could get some sleep. He was going to have to do his best to get up before Yugyeom did in the morning, if Yugyeom woke before he did there was no he was going to back down and hand Joohyung over so he could go back to bed.

…….. ……….

It was a little after five and Jaebum had just settled Joohyung back in his Moses basket. He’d been unusually awake when Jaebum had gone to feed him, to the point where he was still blinking up at his father with wide curious eyes even once the last of his bottle had gone. He’d been so awake that when Jaebum had tried to put him down after burping him he’d kicked up a real fuss, trying to kick his way out of the blanket he'd been swaddled  in, face scrunching up in preparation what was sure to be an almighty wail. Jaebum had hastily scooped him up before that could happen. Once Joohyung started screaming it was a struggle to get him to stop and he didn’t want the noise to wake Yugyeom or the rest of the people who lived on their street. Their son could be incredibly loud. Yugyeom said it was because he’d inherited Jaebum’s lungs and was going to be a singer one day but Jaebum thought it more likely that it was because he was stubborn like Yugyeom. Being only a month old screaming was the only way he could express that part of his personality right now. But either way, a quick glance at the bed showed him Yugyeom was still fast asleep and he wanted it to stay that way. He needed to keep him quiet.

Luckily for everyone Joohyung had settled as soon as he was back in his father’s arms, clearly deciding that Jaebum picking him up meant he‘d won. And Jaebum had spent a good twenty minutes pacing their bedroom until the little boy in his arms had gotten bored of studying his face and gone back to sleep.

So yes, Joohyung was now finally back in his Moses basket and Jaebum was finally on his way back to bed. As he climbed back in, the mattress dipping, Yugyeom mumbled something Jaebum didn’t quite catch, stretching and throwing out an arm. This meant he was now sprawled out across most of the bed leaving Jaebum very little room to manoeuvre.

And while Jaebum had been doing his best this far not to wake him, if he didn’t move Yugyeom’s arm he was only going to end up falling off the edge of the bed later anyway when he dropped off and wake him then. So biting his lip he he gingerly lifted Yugyeom’s arm and moved it, lowering it gently onto his chest.

Yugyeom mumbled something else indecipherable under his breath and for a moment Jaebum thought he’d done what he’d been trying so hard not to do and woken him. But Yugyeom simply stretched out a leg, kicking the blankets he’d already thrown off even closer to the end of their bed and rolled away from Jaebum and onto his side, burrowing his face into his pillow. And he did all of this without opening his eyes once. He was still thankfully asleep and it looked like it was going to stay that way.

He looked adorably dishevelled Jaebum decided, turning onto his own side so he could look at him properly. The sun wasn’t up yet but the sky was starting to lighten so he could see more than just his sleeping outline. He could see the way his hair was sticking up at the back, the indentations on his ar