Like every other Monday morning the sun stood up, and like every other morning it meant another day with headaches, extra classes and other nonsensical stuff I never really cared for.

In my whole life I have been what most people call a prodigy; my parents always strived for me to get the best of the best tutors, the right grades and eventually the right opinions of me. Growing up in an upper class family, I was the daughter of a successful CEO and a well-respected, highly known socialite who had come from money her whole life.

To say my life was hectic would be an understatement, and to say it was without pressure would also be a lie, but I never complained out loud.

I mean, I could, but no one would be listening, so for the most part I just bit my lip or looked away. At the end of the day I knew that it was probably for the best.

Probably; at least I think so.

“Soojung,” a familiar voice and a knock on my door interrupted my thoughts as I sat on the window-bed of my room. My eyes didn’t leave the green leaves outside, the sunlight casting through shadows and the cerulean curtains of my room. My mind instantly drifted to a certain person, although I had to shake away the thought as quickly as it came.

“Someone is on the phone,” my mother said curtly enough, the passive tone of her voice ringing through the usually secluded haven of my life. “This poor excuse of a woman has been trying to reach you for a week,” she ended it there with nothing more than a monotonous voice. Of course she didn’t sound worried or anything, she never did.

It wasn’t as if she cared about her wellbeing.

A strand of dark brown hair fell above my face, and with a tired hand I brush it off. My legs that were once crossed together were now separating themselves for me to get up on my two feet. “I’ll answer, and then I’ll be down in a minute,” I replied after a while, and with just a simple glance, my mother turned around to leave, but suddenly she stopped.

“Oh, and remember…”

“Extra Japanese lessons right after school,” I completed the sentence for her, my hands now starting to create a messily bun upon my dark locks. “Latin and Mandarin an hour later and then business classes before I return home for dinner,” I continued without missing a beat, the schedule of my day imprinted into my brain, an agenda that hasn’t changed for the last years.

My mother just looks at me for a while, her face as impassive and unimpressed as ever, but with a small sigh coming out of her red painted lips. “Just work hard enough and we can probably let you off for the summer,” she reminded me yet again.

With a second of silence, the steps of my mother echo throughout the hall, until they walk down the stairs and fade to nothing. Slowly I stand there for a while, looking at my reflection in the mirror, my hair away from my otherwise pale face, my eyes simply darting back and forth from one feature to another, silently observing myself before I turn away and grab the phone on the vanity table.

“Hey,” I greeted the caller simply enough, taking a seat on the white chair. My eyes were still facing the mirror, watching the small imperfections on my face; imperfections my mother wished I never had.

Although I’ve always gotten compliments, endless remarks and many jealous stares I was never good enough. My eyes should’ve been bigger, my hair shinier, my face slimmer, my nose smaller, my body fuller… no matter what it was never what most of my family would deem as ideal.

“Krys, are you still mad?” I heard my sister say with slight exasperation, the image of her sitting in a random high class café somewhere in Paris floating through my brain. I could already feel the jealousy in my veins by the fact of her being in the place I wanted to be.

“I’ve told you that I was sorry so many times,” she continued, some voices chattering in the background. Tapping my fingers on the skin of my bare thigh, I look away from the mirror for a while.

“I’m not mad Jess; I’m just pretty annoyed,” I replied after a while, but she still didn’t seem convinced. “You could’ve joined me,” she reminded me, but I shook my head despite the fact that she couldn’t see me.

“No; it’s enough that one daughter has shamed the family,” my voice came out a bit snarkier than intended to, but I don’t bother covering up, wanting my otherwise carefree sister to feel guilty.

Jessica was only older than me by five years; but still she was already out there, starting ahead with her industry. Fashion of course; her main desire in life always being that subject. Now she’s mostly in the planning stages, traveling from city to city to gain inspiration as she calls it, after her first collection was a major hit for a young rookie designer.

My parents had mixed reactions to her plan at the beginning; my father was thrilled for her interest in the industry, only looking into the business part of things. Mother didn’t seem too fond of it, almost forcing her to quit, but as stubborn as always Jessica stood up for herself. We didn’t know that it would cost her both her parents.

If mother didn’t like it, then no one was supposed to like it, so even father had to turn her back towards her.

But in the end mother didn’t really care, because after all she had my future to worry about, and she didn’t bother too much that I occasionally spoke with her.

It has always been like that; my father seemed to favor Jessica and wanted her to follow his path in one way or another, while my mother always seemed to make sure I was proper, prim and eligible to become the next her in other words. Disappointed by my sister’s lack of interest in what she called sophistication, she turned to me instead, nearly forcing me to follow her footsteps.

I didn’t want to mind, and I would like to be a successful CEO like my father and as well liked as my mother, but there was something else I would rather do that I couldn’t admit to many people.

I couldn’t admit that I liked dancing; ballet specifically.

I liked dancing to the music, the melody of the piano playing gracefully through the room and the mirror watching my every move in the practice room; from the way I performed a pirouette in the middle of the song, my body spinning to create the perfect movement.

Sometimes I would practice on my balance, or perform random poses all over again until I could get it right, until my body was so familiar with the movement that it would perform the pose with ease.

Whether I was performing an arabesque or if I was simply warming up; I always have to perfect every movement, a mindset I must have gotten from my parents. Victoria Song, my ballet teacher, had never said it, but she seemed to admire my determined approach, although it seemed hopeless. She knew I had dreams, big dreams of performing at the finest of operas and theatres where people would gather up to watch me dance.

And if I could, I would also love to sing in front of that crowd.

But no matter how much I actually enjoyed it, no matter how much I dreamt of going to the famous ballet school in Paris, I knew my parents would never approve. Despite ballet being a “sophisticated” activity, my parents thought of it as a hobby and not as a lifestyle or career.

“What makes you think you can answer me like that?” Jessica asked although there was nothing mean to it, and I almost smiled as I awoke from my thoughts.

“That whole inspiration thing isn’t fooling me though, why did you go all the way to Paris?” I asked while my fingers started playing with the white, spiral cord of the phone, the other hand grabbing the said item before moving back to sit on the window bed.

A slightly nervous laugh emits from the other line. “It’s a reason that you wouldn’t really understand, no matter how I explain it,” Jessica started lightly, almost in deep thought as the line went still.

There was something she was hiding, although she never told me exactly what. And although I knew she wanted to focus on her business, I knew she could have done it here as well, and not on almost the other side of the world.

I knew that she was running away, and it wasn’t just from our parents, but before I could think too much about it she spoke again. “But seriously, I need more inspiration because I’m planning on having different styles from all over the world… I’m thinking Europe chic,” she added, but I only rolled my eyes in response.

“Whatever Jess,” I ended it there as she tried to steer the conversation elsewhere, and it took a moment or two before Jessica broke the silence.

“I’m sorry baby sis – you know I wanted to spend the entire summer with you, but I also have to travel a lot and you know I can’t come back right now,” she said after a while, actually sounding guilty, her voice growing a bit softer, and nodding again I do understand.

Either way it wasn’t really her fault that she had a job to do and that things weren’t like before.

“It’s alright, it just because that means more extra classes,” I added, and I could practically feel Jessica frown on the other line.

“Is she still making you take those classes? I thought she would stop doing that now,” she mused for herself after a while. “I mean she stopped doing that with me when I was your age,” she added and I only sighed.

“That’s because you were dad’s favorite, and besides she’s always been harsher on me,” I said while leaning back on the glass of the window, along with a few pillows behind me. “I don’t even understand why I have to learn Latin; I mean Japanese, French and Chinese are understandable because I might go there someday, but Latin?” I look on the said book on my desk, notes strewn everywhere in a language I knew pretty well, but still found a bit unneeded.

“Oh, you’re still learning French? So you have decided?” Jessica asks while probably sipping on a cup of coffee. “I heard that the Paris Opera Ballet has basically accepted you, I mean, you’re amazing on what you do,” she said after a while, a slight pressure evading my chest as I sit there and fiddle with the cable of the phone again.

“It’s only right that my sister will become the next big Étolie,” she pressured the last words, the highest status one could achieve as a ballet dancer, something that I have wanted to be since the “ripe” age of eleven.

I knew she wasn’t doing it on purpose; Jessica would never try to make me feel bad intentionally. After all she knew me like the back of her hand. Really she was just telling me what I wanted to hear. However, it was not what my parents wanted.

With a slight sigh, I tapped my fingers on the white cord again as the silence dragged on. “I’m not going to Paris,” I mentioned a bit sadly, trying to ignore the building disappointment inside. “I can’t get myself to do that to mother and father… Somebody has to take over the company, Jess.”

“But Krys,” Jessica asks after a while of silence, her voice seemingly a bit thoughtful on the other line, some movement heard from the other side. “What about what you want?”

For a moment I feel my heart stop, just a bit, before regaining its previous pattern, but even then my head doesn’t seem to perform as fast. What about my dreams? What about it?

Jessica was the only one, well except for Victoria, who knew about my previous plan on studying ballet in Paris. My mother would have made me stop to focus more on business and etiquette studies than to dance. I could practically imagine her reaction, lecturing me with the fact that the chances of me becoming a well-known dancer was out of my reach.

It’s not like she necessarily has anything against it; she just didn’t want me to do it.

“Then what are you saving for?” Jessica shared after a while, but with a sigh I could only kiss those dreams goodbye. “You said you almost had enough to pay for at least the first two years on your own, and you know I’ll help you if you need it.”

The line goes quiet for another moment, just a faint buzz in the background. I didn’t know what to say to that anymore because what was I supposed to do with that money? My dreams of Paris and dance had been shattered not too long ago, when I realized how selfish that choice just might be.

“You don’t have to do what mother says if you don’t want to,” Jessica said seriously, the tone of her voice not messing around. She was right; it really is my life after all, but no matter what I just can’t get myself to go against her.

“Not everyone has the luxury to be selfish,” I said coldly and I didn’t mean for it to slip out, but I knew that it was what I wanted to say anyway.  “I’ve got to go, call me later or something like that,” I dismissed her, and even though Jessica was clearly trying to say something more I hung up, not really in the mood to talk to her anymore.

The silence dragged on after that as I placed the phone back on the vanity table, before straightening out the outfit my maid had picked out for me, simply looking at the clothing.

It consisted of a pale pink cardigan, a white shirt and a fitted black skirt. Being a senior meant that we didn’t have to wear the school uniform, a perk I would have enjoyed if I could choose what to wear myself. My eyes looked down on my way too skinny legs, not liking them bare despite the heat outside, as I rapidly went and found some stockings.

Grabbing my backpack, I check that I’ve gotten everything before heading downstairs, the sunlight seeping through the grand windows of the hallway. “I’m going to school now, mother” I said over my shoulder, where I saw my mother at the corner of my eye reading the newspaper; my father was probably already at work or something like that. With a short nod, she flips the page.

“We’ll be having important guests tonight, so please look presentable,” she said before her eyes wandered over to look at me, studying my figure up and down with a frown. “And for God’s sake, get rid of those hideous stockings! You almost look like a beggar,” her voice came out a bit shocked and displeased, probably the only emotions she could show, as she sat there and kept on looking at me.

I looked down at my black nylon stockings, a bit ripped to create a more rough edge to the otherwise innocent and too prim for my liking uniform. I knew that my mother didn’t like it one bit, but I didn’t really care. For once I simply shrugged, taking on my shoes before opening the door.

“I’m sorry, but they were my last pair. I will take them off later, goodbye mother,” I said as politely as she always wanted me to speak, and I head out the door and out in the early summer air.

The sun is warm on my skin, despite how early it was, as I walk down the front yard and down towards the gates, waiting for the metal bars to open before I pass them.  

“Miss Jung!” I heard the familiar voice of our family chauffer calling. I turned around to meet the gaze of the slightly taller, not too old man in front of me. “I haven’t gotten the car ready yet,” Mr. Lee said as he now stood in front of me. I could only sigh by his reaction, and I wasn’t in the mood for sitting in a stuffed car.

“Then I will just spare you the bother of starting the car and walk to school today,” I said and turned to leave again, but I was stopped by the same voice.

“But your mother wouldn’t approve of that, Miss Jung,” he continued and I grew slightly annoyed. I understood him, if my mother found out she’d flip because she thinks I can’t walk on my own without supervision.

I rummaged through the unnecessary expensive backpack of mine, before grabbing my wallet. “Here, take this and go to the closest chicken place, Jinki,” I said while dropping the formal tone once I realized that I didn’t need it, before carelessly shoving some bills in his hands, not caring about the amount I might have given him.

Despite the fact that my mother always nagged for me to be driven by our chauffer, I could care less. Walking to school was honestly a way for me to just relax, and I spare all the ogling eyes of the other classmates. I didn’t do it too often, but from time to time I did when things were too much.

One would think that the school I went to was exclusive, but it was actually pretty ordinary. I didn’t know why I insisted on attending that school in favor of the elite school not too far away; but I just had a feeling that I would want to go there instead. It was probably the only thing my parents granted, as I came with such a lame excuse as “I want to be surrounded by more regular people.”

It was no secret that I was pretty much a popular student; I had people after me, watching my every move as if everything I did was of importance. Honestly I didn’t know how they found me so fascinating, but apparently I was.

Most people also complained that I rarely smiled or reacted much, but that was not for them to know.

 “They obviously think stalking other people is more fun than being preoccupied with their own life,” Sulli would always tell me as if it was a known fact. She’s been the closest friend I have ever had; except for Jessica of course, but that was another story.

I do have friends in school, but to be quite honest, I have never liked them. I just hung out with that crowd so I wouldn’t be deemed as a “y loner” or an outcast.

Sulli however, had basically been the only one who hadn’t smothered all over me or expected something from me; she just wanted to be my friend, nothing more and nothing less. Maybe that’s why she’s one of the few people I could tolerate.

Too bad we didn’t actually go to the same school; her father was the owner of multiple hotels and her mother a doctor, so she was in the upper class as well. She decided to go to the other school, but we went to the same elementary and middle school when we were younger. She was the first to talk to me, I remembered that day fondly, as we kept on walking.

Speaking of the sun, a familiar figure approached me from the other side of the road, her green back pack bumping up and down with each step. “Gosh, wait up, will you?” Sulli said while finally catching up, her rushed steps slowing down as she catches her breath.

I turned to look at her now short hair, cut just above her shoulders. For a month ago it nearly touched the small of her back, but since the weather was getting warmer, she usually decided to cut it short. In a way her hair worked as a calendar; when her locks were dark and long it symbolized winter, but if she came with short and light hair it meant summer was just around the corner.

I simply rolled my eyes humorously before we continue to walk in the same pace. “It’s not my fault you’re a slow poke,” I said and with a slight laugh she pushes me gently, playfully as we walk towards the two different school premises. They were located the same way, but my school was further away than hers.

“So, words on the street that the ever so quiet Krystal Jung has started hanging out with uh… what’s her name?” Sulli asked curiously, her steps having a slight bounce to it. Why on earth was she so happy?

“You mean Ara?” I answered, and that could only be the correct answer because I saw a lot to her recently, and plus I was her model for her art project. It was odd how I accepted the offer so easily, I was actually going to decline, but my lips had a mind of their own.

Oddly enough though, I didn’t regret my decision. It was something so refreshing with talking to Ara, because she seemed so… carefree? She didn’t really act careful around me; she just spoke to me as if it was nothing.

Well, except for her questions which I should’ve answered, but never got around to doing. Other than that, she was easy to talk to, and so was her friend Kai. Although I wasn’t sure how things got like this and why I invited them to watch me practice.

I actually only meant to invite Ara, but I couldn’t invite just one of them without the other, so I just said it. However, why did I want them to come?

“Yeah, I’ve heard she’s friends with Kai,” Sulli mentioned as we both slowed down our pace, the sight of her school coming to view. “I haven’t really met her, although I saw her once; she seems kind of cool. Although her style is pretty much as boyish as Amber’s.”

I gave it a thought, thinking that it was true, although I didn’t contemplate much about it. She wasn’t that boyish when it came to her style, like Amber was, but it wasn’t as if I’d see her in a dress or skirt in the possible future.

“Why does it matter that I’ve talked to her?” I asked curiously, and Sulli only shrugged. “I just wondered, since if she’s there then Kai is there and you know… He’s kind of hot,” she said with a dreamy sigh, probably thinking about the said person.

I admit, he is very handsome and he seemed to be a very laidback and easy person to talk to. I wasn’t sure what I thought of him, although it was exciting to be near him because I hadn’t interacted much with the opposite . Something about him seemed very genuine and safe.

“Wait, how do you know about him?” I asked, because although we are close we didn’t exactly hang out at my school. I’d usually go over to her school instead.

“I’ve got my ways,” Sulli replied cheekily, a certain smile on her face before skipping over to the entrance of her school, as if she was that small kid in elementary again. I almost wanted to smile, but I couldn’t really get myself to do so as I instead waved, although she didn’t turn back to see it.

Yes, Kai is very attractive, but I wanted to say the same about someone else. About a certain female who spoke fluent sarcasm, but that would not only kind of creep Sulli out, but maybe me as well. So I quickly got rid of the thought, not wanting to think about the girl who reminded me of the blue shade cerulean.