My heart began to race the moment the car pulled up on the parking lot beside the airport, my mind many different places the minute I stepped out of the safeness of the vehicle. The smell of jet fuel, exhaustion, and hot tarmac combined with the stress of many passengers going from left to right, is only something you can feel whilst being in an airport.

I had my mother help guide me to the entrance, the noise of too many footsteps and too many people evading my ears. To be such a wide space as I remembered it to be, it still felt cramped by the amount of travelers.

We were supposed to meet a woman who would guide me towards the security check and the gate, before I would meet another one on the other side of the world as I so liked to refer to it. It would be weird having someone else be my pair of eyes, guiding me left to right to make sure I wouldn’t end up at the wrong place or not know what I was doing.

My parents originally wanted to come with, but to save them the extra cost and wanting to do things as much as I could on my own, I convinced them not to. If things went as planned, I would have to live without them for a while anyway.

Krystal and I shared our last goodbye hours earlier because I couldn’t bear the thought of starting to cry in the middle of the airport. Instead she came over early in the morning, and we did nothing but just lying on my bed, pretending that five minutes meant another hour, that we weren’t one step closer to separation.

However, I knew we had to say goodbye, and it wasn’t easy at all.

I was awoken from my thoughts when we stood by the entrance, as I heard a polite woman greet us whom I assumed was the guide. I nodded in acknowledgment, ignoring what must have been weird stares from other people for me wearing sunglasses inside. I had no idea where the woman stood, so if I was looking towards her or not, I did not know.

She didn’t seem to mind, as she said I could give my final goodbye towards my parents before heading over to the security check, my bag already in the process of being checked in.

“Oh, my baby has all grown up!” I heard my mother coo as I could only sigh and roll my eyes inwardly, but deep down I knew I would miss her because I had always been a mama’s girl. We had our moments, but it would never make up for the good memories with her and everything we went through. I smiled then before feeling her warmth engulf me, the familiar scent of her running through my nose as I tried to ignore her tears soaking the back of my shirt.

“Mom, relax, I’ll be fine,” I reassured her sobbing figure, as I could hear my father chuckle in the distance before hearing him step closer to join the hug. This seemed like an end of a very bad movie, where I would never return again despite them all knowing that I would; I just didn’t know when.

That’s why I’ve bought a one-way ticket.

“It felt as if it was just yesterday you were a little kid who couldn’t even imagine living without her parents; now you’re a grown woman,” he said and a bit embarrassed by the words they were saying, probably gaining a lot of attention as we stood there in the middle of the airport.

“You guys are still my number one,” I had to reassure them both now as I was afraid even my father would start sobbing uncontrollably and that would just be plain humiliating. Slightly laughing by the thought though, I rubbed soothing circles around their backs because I knew I was going to miss everything about them.

After all, this was going to be the first time I would venture out this world without them.

When it came to the point where I had to tear them away to get going, I knew that this was in fact very real and I was going to travel alone to a country I had lived in before, yet hadn’t visited in such a long time.

And on top of that I can’t see a single thing; this was bound to go great.

That was sarcasm, if you didn’t know.

The guide who I was walking with was oddly silent, although not the same as the footsteps were slightly heavier and the person’s actions were more relaxed and chilled if that made sense. It reminded me of someone, but I couldn’t exactly say who as we walked towards the crowded security check in silence.

Up until we got out and went towards the gate the person didn’t say a word and I had no idea what to do. It wasn’t as if I was supposed to have a long chat or heart to heart, but a little small talk would at least be nice instead for this silence and guiding me towards the right direction.

The man, I had figured out since he made me hold his arm, couldn’t be older than me. He was tall, had a lean yet muscular built and had a scent that was so familiar, that reminded me of someone who I used to see often. But it couldn’t be; I really doubted it was him yet all the signs told me that it was.

 The only thing I could do then was ask, despite how awkward that would be, as he guided me towards the gate. “Are you who I think you are?” I asked lamely, because I had no better way to put it the further we walked together, my hand attempting to feel his arm as if to confirm that it was true. The person then let out a slight chuckle, and when he finally responded I knew that it really was the one I thought it was all along.

“I don’t know, who do you think I am?” Kai asked then, with his voice that I hadn’t heard in so long as I could only stop in my tracks. Ultimately he did the same, as with probably a stupid looking expression I could only let out a smile before unceremoniously jumping straight into his arms, not caring if people looked at us weirdly or that my bag fell off in the process.

“You ing idiot I thought I would never see you again!” I sounded as if I was wailing, and to think about it I probably was because I could feel tears fall down my eyes as I latched onto my stupid best friend, missing him so much.

“Well to be honest you technically haven’t,” he retorted and I could only kick him in response, but I wasn’t even offended by the remark as I could only think of having him close again. I never knew that I would miss this idiot this much, but low-key I actually did every single day since we argued.

“You’d think I wouldn’t send my best friend off like without even a goodbye? You women think too low of me,” Kai continued then as I could only laugh, my head buried in his shirt as it was somewhat weird having him back like this again, but I didn’t mind.

“I missed you Santa,” I admitted then, my tears now soaking his shirt as I could only hold onto him, trying to ignore the speakers above telling who’s going there and there. The vibrations of his laugh went through me before he hugged me back.

“I missed you too, Plain Jane,” he responded and I had never been happier to meet him again my entire life. My heart which felt as if it was missing something, finally felt complete in a way as we just stood there hugging each other.

“But seriously now, you’ve got a plane to catch,” Kai had to end the moment right there, although it was true, as he bent down to pick up my fallen bag somewhere. However, I didn’t let go of him as he only sighed.

“I should’ve thought so,” he then said, almost as if reading my mind before turning around to let me into a piggyback ride. We always did this when we argued; he said sorry by carrying me wherever I wanted and I’d apologize by buying him food.

When I thought about it like that we were indeed so weird, but it didn’t matter because he was the one I felt most comfortable with.

He carried me all the way to the gate, mockingly complaining about my weight and that people were staring although I knew that he didn’t mean one single thing about it. It was tough getting through the passport control with me still on his back, but it sounded like the men behind the glass were in a good mood as they let it slide when they checked my passport and Kai said he was just a guide.

Then as we finally got there I assumed he dropped me of to sit on one of those uncomfortable chairs while waiting for the plane to board. I could hear him sit down beside me with a slight thud, as the resonating sound of aircrafts ran through my ears.

“When did you even work in the airport?” I had to ask him then, mindless chatter around us as we spoke. I felt him shrug, as I was still latching onto his arm as if I couldn’t let go, which made us seem like a love sick couple, but I didn’t mind.

“It’s just a summer job; mostly I’m guiding small brats traveling without their parents; but when I knew you were going to the states I had to make sure I got that shift. I just switched with Dara, the girl who you probably spoke to earlier.”

I snorted by his response, but was so glad he was still here. “I wanted to ask you about your plans after summer,” I began then, still not sure if it was a picky subject or not since he had been rejected to enter the athlete school he wanted to go on.

“It’s alright actually,” he suddenly said. “I got accepted into med-school, so I’ll be starting soon.”

My eyes could have popped out of their sockets had I not known better by the sudden statement. Kai was going to medical school to become a doctor? Well that was entirely different than what he planned on.

“I was so caught up in the fact “I didn’t get accepted” that I forgot I had applied for other schools just in case; I figured that if I can’t be in the field, I might as well help those idiots who get injured on the field.”

Kai was chuckling by that, and I only followed because I was glad he at least found a way despite everything. “So I’m planning on becoming a sport and exercise doctor, if that goes as arranged,” he ended there and I nodded understandingly. He was always book smart, and he had sick skills in both science and math so it seemed like a perfect job for him.

We caught up some more about him; what he had been up to during the summer except for working, more about his studies, about what he plans on doing later on… It was somewhat odd because here we were, sitting in the middle of an airport discussing our very real future ahead.

“How are things with you and Krystal?” he asked and sounded so casual about it, as if he wasn’t the one who dated her first. I could only shrug slightly, before beginning to speak.

“Fine, we spent the entire summer together, but we aren’t really together anymore,” I said then only to earn a surprised sound by the guy beside me. “You broke up already?” he seemed shocked by my words, but I could only roll my eyes again.

“Yes, no, sort of. We promised that if we ever met each other again; both of us single and still in love, we would give it another try. However, neither of us wanted to hold the other back, so technically you can say we aren’t dating.”

Kai still didn’t seem to get it, and it was then I realized that I hadn’t told him about my plan on staying away for a long time.

“Krystal’s going to Paris; I’m going wherever my heart leads me, how cliché that just sounded,” I replied honestly, wondering how he would react, but as I instead heard the couple behind me chatting about the weather in L.A and the possibility of a dry spell, I knew he must have been thinking a lot.

“I think you’ll be just fine,” the boy next to me said then as I could only nod, hoping so as I thought about the road ahead.  When things fell silent, I had a very odd feeling in my stomach by what I just said. Then, Kai decided to respond with yet another surprise, as if I didn’t have enough for one life.

“I hope that surgery works though, because that was one hell of a bill,” he began then and again I think my entire being must have stood still in shock. He couldn’t have?

“Technically, yes and no; I had some leftover savings for college and my parents helped out because… Well, we know how much of a strain that would be for your family financially,” he sounded a bit sheepish, almost as if he was afraid he did something stupid and I couldn’t help but just hug him yet again by their way too generous offer.

My gratitude towards him would never, ever stop in that moment because despite everything they still did this for me. I could barely believe it myself, actually

When they called the passengers to start boarding the flight, I knew this would be the goodbye for now as Kai helped me get up. We stood there for a while to stall the time, me latching onto this tall idiot because it felt so weird leaving him and everything behind.

 “Guess this is goodbye,” I said then, awkwardly standing there as I had no idea where I was looking, but I was hoping it would at least be on him. “I’ll promise to call whenever I can.”

Kai then shifted closer, and then as if to give me one last hug I knew that if this was to continue I would be sobbing again and I already had a bad reputation with the staff it appeared like as I could hear them impatiently complaining about me.

“Idiot, we’ll see each other soon enough,” Kai then almost promised for me, as I could only nod while holding on to him. I knew I had to let go and get going, but it still felt so sad leaving him behind. “This is so random,” I said then after a while.

“I mean, everything that has happened recently has been so random that I just can’t believe the coincidence,” I continued, and after a while I could almost feel the taller one smiling despite me not seeing him at all.

“When you get on that plane, you’ll know that nothing was a coincidence Ara,” Kai replied as if he was some wise sensei from those karate movies, and I could only chuckle before letting go slightly for the last time.

“Gosh, now it feels like I’m breaking up with you,” I had to say then because it did indeed feel like it, even if we had no romantic feelings for each other whatsoever. The thought still gave me unpleasant shivers down my spine, making me a bit sick.

“Goddamn stop thinking about us dating you freak!” Kai exclaimed then, and I only lightly shoved him. “I’ll tell Krystal that everything went fine by the way, because I am certain that she is worried sick,” he then said and I nodded. I appreciated his efforts, and then I knew he had gotten over her and accepted us despite everything, even if we weren’t really together.

Then I started moving towards what I thought would be the gate entrance. The new assistant was quick to move over to where we stood and help me, as I could only take heavy steps towards the plane.

However, I couldn’t help but think that I had one last thing to say to him, as I stopped to turn around although I could not see him anymore.

“I take that back; saying goodbye means forgetting, and that’s not going to happen,” I said then, not helping the smile that probably went through my lips as I could only wait for his reply.

“See you later, Plain Jane,” Kai said then, before continuing. “I’m glad to see you smile again.”

I had to realize then that we were growing up now, and although we had been doing so our entire life it felt different because this was real. This wasn’t some thought that would wait until the future that would come later; this was right now, and there was nothing we could do about it.

Everything was about to change; a chapter ending, but the story had only just begun. During this short while I learned that things had transformed, not only with us two, but with everyone around me. I had grown up and came over my first love, Jessica, whom I hoped would be doing better. Sunny and Sooyoung were doing fine as always, but it felt like even they changed a bit for a reason I couldn’t quite understand…

And most of all the mysterious, cold and way too polite for my liking girl who changed so much in front of my eyes. From her cold demeanor, which was stripped bare the moment I got to know her better, the moment I realized I started falling for her although I shouldn’t have.

Krystal went from a girl I could care less of to someone I wouldn’t trade the world with.

Guess the page was turning for everyone at this point, because everything that I didn’t expect to happen actually did. I’d always have the memories, but now I’d have to find out who I was going to be and what I was going to do.

Then I turned around one final time, walking towards the plane that would lead me into yet another new direction with big hopes, huge dreams and terrifying thoughts of despair. However, I knew that no matter what I would never be able to forget my sole reason for making me do this in the first place.

The girl with scarlet red hair, eyes as dark as the night and skin as fair as a doll popped up into my mind, the image I remembered the best of her smile underneath the spotlight on her stage. Her smile, which was like heaven; she made me believe that things would be fine.

“We’ll meet again someday, Scarlet,” was the only thing I could whisper to myself as the plane took off.