Lying on bed, you were thinking of everything that happened so far. You hated being forced to think of Taekwoon when all you wanted was to forget him and get over the misery he caused you. But that proved to be a difficult task. Being trapped with him inside Hongbin's apartment was not going to help at all. What was he thinking? You thought to yourself. Maybe he wanted to help, but this wasn't helping. Coming face to face with Taekwoon and finally being able to let your heart out and yell your lungs out at him was slightly comforting. But then the phone call happened and you felt that he could see through you; he could see how vulnerable you were, how pathetic you felt you were. It was very frustrating.

When he hugged you, you felt your heart jump out of your chest and hold onto him. A part of you wished that hug would last forever, but the other part of you wanted him away. Having to listen to more of his lies made you feel nauseous. Will he ever stop? How stupid does he think I am? But that hug warmed up your heart. You were torn between the two; hating him and not being able to get over him.

He was going through the same amount of pain. He wished he could tell you it was all a lie, he was forced to break up with you, he was forced to leave you. But he was weak. He was scared. Letting you vent out on him was easier than telling you the truth. He was willing to share your pain, he could stand there all day, getting slapped and punched by you and he would never complain. If it was going to make you feel better, then he will do it.

After almost half an hour or so, you needed to go to the bathroom. You opened the door very slowly; afraid you'd find Taekwoon standing in front of the room. Peeking through the door, you found no trace of Taekwoon, except his jacket lying on the couch. You took a few steps outside the room and loople of seconds. Where did he go?

You found Taekwoon standing in the kitchen with his back to you, stirring something on the stove in front of him. The view stirred certain emotions that you had buried inside your heart long ago. You had several fantasies about finding him in the kitchen, making dinner or washing the dishes. It reminded you of the nights you spent with him in the kitchen, chatting and sharing sweet little kisses. But it also reminded you of the future life you imagined together. Going back home to him cooking in the kitchen, hugging him and receiving a kiss before he asks you to change and get ready for lunch.

You shook all those frustratingly pleasant images off your head as you cleared your throat. He flinched before turning around and gawking at you. He thought you'd stay in Hongbin's room until he was back.

"What are you doing?"

You asked, still standing at the door. He scratched the back of his head in embarrassment and turned the stove down. He hesitated for a second before saying:

"I'm making dinner."

You rolled your eyes and he blushed. Your attitude was reasonable but it still hurt him. It caused him great pain to have the only person he ever loved look at him like he was her worst enemies. But he was willing to endure the pain, for as long as possible.

"I... I thought you'd be hungry so..."

He was stuttering, and you couldn't understand why. The only reason you could think of was that he was lying, again. You snorted, interrupting him mid-sentence, not wanting to fall victim for any more lies.

"Do you think I'd eat anything from you?"

"What?"

"You might try to kill me. What else would I expect from you?"

He was speechless. He didn't expect you to say that. You turned around to go back to Hongbin's room. He hesitated for a second and then ran after you, grabbed your arm and pulled you back.

"Wait."

"Let me go."

"I won't let you go until you eat something."

You stared at him and then said:

"Who are you to tell me what to do?"

He swallowed hard and then said the only thing he could think of, which he regretted the second he was done.

"Ma'am, please just eat something. Don't starve yourself."

Ma'am?

You glared at him, the word stirring undesired memories in your heart.

"I seriously hate you."

You pulled your arm away from his hold and ran toward Hongbin's room, locking yourself in. I wish we stopped at that. It would have been a lot easier. You thought to yourself as you sat down on the floor near Hongbin's bed. Letting out a sigh, you looked at your watch. It's still too early.

You grabbed your phone and thought of something to do to pass the time. You let out a sigh when you could think of nothing to do. A knock on the door caused you to dart your gaze in its direction as you asked:

"What do you want?"

"I need to talk to you."

"And I don't want to have anything to do with you."

"Please, Ma'am."

You grunted in frustration before standing up and opening the door, planning to yell at him and then lock yourself inside the room again. Once you opened the door, he grabbed your arm and pulled you behind him toward the kitchen.

"Let me go!"

You struggled to get yourself out of his hold but he held your arm tightly until you were standing in front of the kitchen table.

"Sit down."

"You don't tell me what to do."

He let go of your hand and locked the kitchen's door, trapping you inside the kitchen with him. You tried pushing him away and reached for the key but he put it inside his back pocket and then said:

"I need to talk to you, please."

"Do you have more lies to tell me?"

You asked as you glared at him. You thought, at some point, you could actually trust him. He proved you wrong.

"I... I didn't mean to lie to you."

You placed your hands on your waist and stared at him for a few seconds and then said:

"You're a very good actor. I'll have to admit that."

He clenched his fists and then looked up at you as he yelled:

"Yes, I'm an actor. I'm a liar, I'm a jerk. I don't deserve you, I never did. I lied to you, I broke your heart, and I deserve to die."

You were taken aback by his sudden outburst. Your heart was pounding in your chest as you watched him sit down on one of the chairs and place his head between his hands. You both remained silent for a couple of seconds, until you could hear his sniffles. He lifted his head up and your heart skipped a beat when you saw tears rolling freely down his cheeks. Your heart called his name but you pressed your lips together, trying to prevent those damned syllables from exposing your longing for him.

"I should have stayed away from you. I shouldn't have forced you to remember me. I shouldn't have..."

His lips were trembling and his tears never ceased.

"I... I'm sorry. I know your father locked you up, I know the cut on your lips was because of him. I know you starved yourself. I... I know about Mr. Park. I... I... I know because he told me. He came to my apartment and threatened to harm you if we ever meet again. He said he'll force you to marry his friend unless I break up with you. And I... I had to push you away. I know I was too harsh but... I wanted you to hate me... I wanted you to despise me and never come back to me again because..."

You legs were shaking as you listened to his confession. You could no longer feel your heartbeats. Cold drops of sweat ran down your temple and back as you stared at him in disbelief. He continued:

"Because I am a coward. I'm afraid of losing you, I'm afraid a day will come when you no longer want to be with me, I'm afraid you will abandon me when you realize this is not the life you wanted. I'm afraid you'll understand, as we spend day and night in my filthy room, that I am not worthy of you."

And with that yours knees gave way and you slid down the door, and crouched weeping at its foot. You couldn't believe your ears. My father is behind all this? Taekwoon didn't want to break up with me? I've been through all that because of my own father?

Taekwoon ran to you when he saw you falling to the floor. He gathered you in his arms and hugged you to his chest. You could hear his heart pounding inside his chest. He patted your back as he repeated "I'm sorry" over and over again. Your body was shaking violently. The revelation was more than you could handle. You were a sobbing mess, crying and gasping for air every other second. He rocked your body back and forth in a soothing manner, trying to calm your sobs down. It took you a few more minutes to stop crying and pull yourself out of his hold. He held your chin up forcing you to look at him. His heart clenched when he saw your puffy eyes and trembling lips. He lent forward, attempting to print a kiss on your lips but you placed your hand on his lips, pushing him away. He looked at you, the hurt apparent in his eyes.

"You gave up on me so easily. I always thought you'd fight for me."

"But..."

"Let me out, please."

You stood up, your back to him as you asked him to open the door and let you out. This was too much for you, everything was just too much. Ever since you came back your life has been a rollercoaster. You couldn't think of a day when your emotions were stable and your heart was at peace. Things just kept getting worse and more intense, it was exhausting.

He took the key out of his pocket and unlocked the door. As soon as he did, you opened the door and barged out of the kitchen and ran toward Hongbin's room. Closing the door behind you, you rested your back against it and closed your eyes. You took a deep breath before opening your eyes and walking toward Hongbin's bed. You sat down and stared at the floor under your feet. Is this real? Am I dreaming? Is this the life I was looking forward to? Why is this happening to me? Why am I letting everyone control my life?

Taekwoon knocked at the door but you ignored him as you reached for your phone. You found a text message from Hongbin. You opened it and swallowed hard as you read:

'Open the last drawer of the night stand near my bed. You'll find a letter, please read it. You'll thank me later.'

You looked at the night stand and wondered what the content of the letter could be. You opened the drawer and find an envelope resting at its bottom. Cutting its edge, you took out the letter Hongbin mentioned in his text message. Opening the letter, you read its content with teary eyes and trembling lips:

'First, I want to apologize for having to do this to you and Taekwoon. It really breaks my heart to see the two of you suffering without knowing the truth. I know how much you love each other. I see it in your eyes even if you don't talk about him, and I see it in his every time he speaks about you and asks us to keep him updated on everything you're doing. Taekwoon loves you, he really does. I know he hurt you but he never meant to. Wonsik and I decided to tell you the truth even if Taekwoon would hate us for it. Your father came to him and threatened to force you to marry his friend if Taekwoon doesn't break up with you, one of the maids confirmed this and ever since he couldn't eat nor sleep. He knows your father locked you up. He knows the cut on your lip is not because you fell off the stairs. He couldn't believe his eyes when he saw you coming to his apartment with a pale face and dark circles under your eyes. He couldn't stop blaming himself for it. He had to break up with you and be so harsh with you to prevent you from coming back to him and exposing yourself to more abuse from your father. He did it to protect you. But... it was killing him. He cried every day... every single day. Wonsik and I didn't know what to do. We visited him all the time but every day he was getting worse. He... he knows you're dating Yoongi. I'm sorry, I never meant to tell him, but he was listening to our phone call when you told us about Yoongi. I had the speaker on because he wanted to hear your voice. I didn't know you were going to talk about Yoongi and he broke down when he knew you were dating someone else already... After witnessing all this, I couldn't just stand and watch. Again, I'm sorry I had to do it this way, but you said you needed a closure.. but I'm hoping this would give you both a chance for a new beginning...It is not easy to forgive and forget. You've been through a lot, but I want you to consider this even if it sounds too mean... imagine waking up tomorrow to find that he's no longer there... he's gone before you could give him another chance... would you be able to live with that?'

You read that last line over and over again. A weird feeling tugged at your heart and you were suddenly thinking about your mother. You never really got the chance to know her, let alone have any memories of her. You woke up one day to find that she was no longer there. Nobody expected a mother in her thirties to pass away so suddenly. Would you be able to go through the same with Taekwoon? It was different. You knew him, you had so many memories of him, you loved him, would you be able to live without him? Knowing he's been through a lot, would you be able to live with regret?

You didn't want to give him excuses for doing what he'd done to you, but you also didn't want to completely cut ties with him and blame it all on him. Your father scared him, you had to witness that a number of times. You could only imagine how your father's visit made him feel. Anger was replaced with sympathy and you found yourself getting up and walking toward the door. You hesitated for a second, wondering if you were ready to forgive him for what he did and give him another chance. Does he deserve another chance? your mind asked and your heart was quick to answer: I can't live without him.

With shaking hand, you turned the door handle and opened the door ever so slowly. You flinched and let out a scared yelp when you found Taekwoon kneeling in front of the door. His head was dropped down and his fists were clenched and placed on his knees. Your heart hammered in your chest when you realized he was crying.

"Taekwoon..."

You called his name faintly but he didn't move as he said:

"Please forgive me. I'd do anything you ask me to do, but please, give me one more chance."

His cries caused you to drop to your knees in front of him. He lifted his head up to look at you, eyes red and tears wetting his face.

"I'm sorry."

He whispered. You threw your arms around his neck and cradled his head between your arms, letting him sob in your chest. You remained like this for a few minutes until his sobs ceased. He pulled out of your hug and looked at you.

"I'm sorry."

His hair was stuck to his forehead, his eyes were puffy and his lips were trembling. He looked like a lost child, crying for a shelter. You gathered him in your arms again and he instinctively wrapped his arms around your body, tightening his hold around you. He was afraid you'd leave again before he could fill his nostrils with your scent or heal the wound in your heart. Everything around you stilled. Your irregular heartbeats were the only thing you could hear. He your hair and back in a soothing manner, while you tangled your hand in his hair. You were both holding onto each other for dear life. When he finally moved, he kissed the top of your head and then slowly pulled out to stare into your eyes. He pulled his arms away and then lifted his hand up to cup your face. You leaned into his touch and then placed your hand on his as you closed your eyes, indulging in the warm feeling of him around you.

"This is all my fault. If only I haven't been such a coward we wouldn't have been through all this."

You opened your eyes and look at him. He continued:

"I'll never let go of you again. I promise. I was so stupid for letting him take you away from me. But I promise you, I'll never allow him to do it again."

"Do you really love me?"

You asked as you stared directly into his eyes. A part of you was still questioning his confession. He remained silent for a couple of minutes, the hurt apparent in his eyes as he said:

"I know I made you feel worthless, and I know I caused you a lot of pain and distress. I won't blame it on anybody, I knew what I was doing and I knew it would make you miserable. Nothing justifies what I've done... but... I love you. I've never loved anybody like I love you. I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you but... I'll understand if you don't want to. I'll understand if you hate me because that's what I wanted you to do when I... when I broke up with you... but I want you to know that I only did it to protect you. I was... I was hoping that your pain would be temporary and that you'll get over it with time and live happily without me and without all the trouble I cause you."

As he spoke, you remembered what Yoongi said about his break up with Yura. He said he pushed her away and caused her pain hoping she'd get over him and go on with her life when he didn't know if he'll ever see her again. Instead of letting her live with the pain of separation and long distance relationships, he chose to let her live hating him and not hurting because of him.

You looked at Taekwoon as he spoke, tears rolling down his cheeks, and you decided to put an end to his tears. Lifting your hands up, you cupped his cheeks and printed a peck on his lips, leaving him dumbfounded.

"I know."

His eyes widened in surprise, and you continued:

"You were hurting too."

"It doesn't matter anymore."

He took your gesture as a sign for your willingness to open a new page, a page he promised to fill with happy memories and delightful days. It was his turn to cradle your cheeks between his warm palms and pepper your face with short, sweet kisses. You were melting under his kisses. No words could describe how much you missed him, even when you convinced yourself that he was gone forever and you'd never want to see him again. Thoughts of him would never cease, visiting you out of nowhere. They made you feel paralyzed. You were unable to decide whether you wanted him back or not, whether you wanted to move on or not, whether you wanted to see him or not. Your dreams were filled with him, his sweet voice calling your name, his lips smiling at you or his arms pulling you into his embrace and tucking you under his chin, near his heart.

You let your hands rest on his chest as he moved to kiss your lips. You closed your eyes, indulging in the sweet taste of his lips on yours. The sweetness was suddenly interrupted by a salty taste and you slowly pulled out and opened your eyes to find him crying. Tears ran down his cheeks and he looked away when he opened his eyes to find you staring at him in awe. You tugged at his sleeve and he wiped his tears and turned around to look at you.

"I missed you so much."

He whispered.

"I missed you too."

He pulled you behind him to the kitchen, insisting that you eat something. He was half way through cooking a spaghetti sauce and with your help he was able to finish the whole dish in 20 minutes. He then asked you to sit down and served you dinner before taking the seat next to yours. He watched you eat your dinner in silence and you urged him to eat his as you tried to hide the blush creeping into your cheeks. He kept staring at you, as if trying to make up for the time he didn't get to see you. You were both silent until you were done eating. He placed the plates in the sink and started washing them. He had his back to you when he said:

"My life was never the same without you."

You lifted your head up and looked at him, your heart repeating after him.

"Time passed very slowly, and I felt like dying every single second. Before you came back I thought... I thought my life would always be so empty. But then you returned and..."

He paused as he dried his hands on his apron and turned around to look at you.

"I fell in love with you."

You said, staring at him dotingly. He sat down on the chair next to yours and held your hands in his. He lifted them up and kissed them both before looking up at you.

"I never thought you would... When you did, I felt like I couldn't get any luckier."

He paused for a second and the smile on his lips disappeared as he said:

"But then I ruined it all and returned your love with tears."

"We're here now; please don't think of anything else but this moment. It's the only thing that matters now."

He pulled you in his arms and you buried your face in his chest as he said:

"I love you. I love you."

"Can I ask you something?"

Taekwoon said as he sat on the couch with you in his arms, cuddling under a blanket he found in Hongbin's room. You hummed in response.

"Why did you feel upset when... that guy... Yoongi... said he got back to his girlfriend? Do you like him?"

Yoongi's call and your reaction after he hung up triggered him, considering he knew you were dating Yoongi already. You rubbed your hands together as you thought of an answer before saying:

"He... he is a nice guy but..."

You let out a sigh before adding:

"I just felt like nobody wanted to be with me, nobody cared about me. Although he apologized, it just made me feel not worthy of being loved."

He held your chin up and looked into your eyes as he let his thumb brush your cheek and the corner of your lips.

"Words can't describe how terrible I feel for putting you through this. I love you, I really do. To me, you're worth the world."

He said, guilt apparent in his voice. Without saying a word, you buried yourself in the warmth of his body. He your back gently as you closed your eyes and relaxed in his arms.

"Can we stay like this forever?"

You asked.

"Will you run away with me?"

He asked back. The space between your bodies disappeared as you tightened your hold around his body, hiding your face in his chest. He added:

"We'll have to deal with this as adults and I'll do whatever you ask me to do, but please don't leave me."

You closed your eyes and rubbed your hands against his back as you said:

"I'm sleepy."

A smile crept into his lips and he looked down at you before asking:

"Are you trying to change the subject?"

"Is it working?"

He giggled and the butterflies in your tummy unleashed.

"Yes."

He said and you smiled. He knew you weren't ready for this yet, even after knowing what your father had done, so he didn't want to push you any further.

"Shall we go to bed?"

You hummed in response. You were too tired to move a limb, and his chest was more comfortable than any bed. He tried getting off the couch but you clung into him causing him to fall into the couch again. You wrapped your arms around his neck as you said:

"Carry me."

He grabbed your legs and wrapped them around his middle before supporting your back and getting off the couch with you hanging around his neck like a koala. He giggled and kissed your cheek before walking you toward Hongbin's room. He put you down on Hongbin's bed slowly. He pecked your lips and then stared at you dotingly as he said:

"Are we finally going to spend the night together?"

A blush crept into your cheeks as he lay down next to you and pulled you in his arms again before saying:

"I wish it was under better circumstances."

You placed your hand on his cheek and looked at him intently as you said:

"We'll have better days, I know we will."

"We will."

He said. You continued to stare at him until you noticed something. You placed your hand on his right cheek and let your thumb brush it as you asked: 

"When did you get this?"

He looked at you in confusion and then raised his eyebrows when he realized what you were talking about:

"Ah~ the mole? I guess it appeared 2 or 3 weeks ago."

You pulled yourself up and printed a peck near the mole before looking at him and saying:

"I like it."

He giggled and then tucked you under his chin, and wrapped his arms around you. You closed your eyes, a smile on your face and a matching smile on his.

We'll have better days.