Taekwoon spent the day thinking of how to form what he wanted to say without sounding too clingy or too persistent. He needed to spill everything to you, everything that's been bugging him ever since you arrived. But every time he's about to say anything, something interferes. Like last night. He wanted to disappear when your father, in a way, reminded him of his position in this house.

 

"Clean the kitchen before you sleep."

 

He didn't mind the occasional orders, what he hated the most was that you were there, listening to your father ordering him around. How can he tell you he loves you while he spends the day studying and then cleans around when everybody is asleep? He had to remind himself that this is not a cheesy drama where the heroine falls in love with her servant and fights her family to be with him. Even if you start to have feelings for him, none of your family will allow you to disgrace them to be with a servant.

 

You went downstairs, stealthily glancing in the direction of the kitchen. It was difficult not to try and look for Taekwoon every time you went downstairs. Your eyes would automatically scan the place for him and your heart would immediately react to him simply walking around the living room. Why do I let him control me like this?

 

You sat down to the table and caught glimpses of the conversation between Nana and your father.

- This Taekwoon makes me uneasy. I found him in the kitchen at 3 a.m. talking to someone and when I went there he was alone.

- What are you trying to say?

Nana asked before sipping her tea.

- I don't know. I just don't feel comfortable seeing him in this house. Maybe... maybe he has something to do with those men.

Nana glanced at him, placed her cup on the table and then said:

- I would never suspect any of my servants, especially Taekwoon. If he wasn't there, your daughter might have lost her life.

You pretended to hear nothing as you flipped through your phone. Why would he suspect Taekwoon? He's harmless, and he's the only one who looks after me the whole time.

 

They both left the table and you were waiting for your breakfast to be served when you saw Taekwoon walking in your direction. My stupid heart won't stop beating for him.

- Good morning.

He almost whispered, not wanting to be heard by anyone but you. You smiled as you looked up at him.

- Good morning.

- Did you sleep well?

He asked as he placed a cup of coffee in front of you. You blushed as you took a quick glance at your father to make sure that he wasn't aware of the little conversation you were having with Taekwoon.

- I guess.

He placed a plate next to the cup of coffee as you asked:

- And you? Did you sleep well?

He shook his head 'no.'

- Why not?

He picked up the empty plates your family had left on the table before saying:

- I'll tell you when I see you tonight.

My silly heart is at it again. Your cheeks turned a shade of pink as you averted your eyes away from him. You stared at the plate he had just placed in front of you to notice that the cucumbers were cut in the shape of heart.

- Who made this?

You asked as you looked up at him to find that you were talking to yourself. He had left and went inside the kitchen after his last sentence. A smile crept into your face as you picked up your fork and then lifted a piece to look at it closely. Maybe he's as silly.

He was smiling as he watched you pick the pieces and stare at them before eating them. It took him half an hour to decide to cut them like that. He was worried that you'll be late for breakfast and someone else would get this plate instead. Why is she such a sleepyhead? Smiling to himself as he thought of you, he cut the cucumbers and hid the plate until he saw you coming downstairs for breakfast.

 

Your father didn't let you go to work after what happened. He said something about waiting a bit more until the police called. He was worried that those men would still come after you. The security guards and CCTV cameras will keep you safe, he said before ruffling your hair and leaving the house. You huffed in annoyance as you looked around you. The house was empty again. Nana was out with her friends, Hakyeon had found a job at a dancing academy. He seemed thrilled about it that he never stayed at home anymore. Eunji was busy preparing for her upcoming wedding. What am I supposed to do?

 

The study room was your shelter. You asked for another cup of coffee to be sent to the study room as you made yourself comfortable in the middle of the cozy room. You picked a book and sat down on the armchair near the desk when you heard a knock on the door. One of the maids walked into the room with a tray in her hand. She placed the cup on the desk and asked you if you needed anything else. You thanked her and she left the room and closed the door behind her.

 

 

The phone in your room interrupted your thoughts at around 1 a.m. You picked up, knowing it was none other than Taekwoon. Did I keep him waiting?

- Hello.

He said in a quiet voice, afraid he had woken you up.

- Hello.

You replied.

- ...

- What is it?

You decided to play.

- Are... aren't you coming downstairs?

He stuttered.

- Why should I? I had dinner already.

He deserves to be teased like that. You thought to yourself as you struggled to hold your giggle.

- I... We...

He was flustered, unable to form a comprehensible sentence. You giggled, and then said:

- I'm coming.

You went down to the kitchen with one thought occupying your mind: when did Taekwoon become so important to me? As soon as you hung up with him, you jumped off your bed and went downstairs.

 

 

When you walked into the kitchen, you found him sitting to the kitchen table with his chemistry book in front of him. He was looking in the direction of the door, waiting for you to come. As he saw you enter the kitchen, he got off his seat to greet you.

- Hey.

Your voice was soft, more like a whisper. The corners of his lips rose as he looked at you walk in his direction. You sat down on the kitchen stool and he sat next to you as he said:

- I thought you won't come.

You pushed a lock of hair behind your ear as a light shade of pink crept into your cheeks.

- I... I forgot to thank you for... for helping me out and...

You paused for a second and looked at the paper resting on the table before adding:

- You have a quiz so I thought I should help you with it.

- Thank you. I've been trying to for hours.

He said shyly.

- Is this why you called me?

You asked as you looked up at him. He gaped at you for a couple of seconds and then said:

- No no. I...

He paused, as if he was about to spill a top secret. His ears flushed and he looked at the paper. I wanted to use this as an excuse to see you. He wished he could say that without stuttering and stumbling over his words.

- I... I wanted to talk to you, to... explain myself. I don't want you to feel bad.

A smile crept into your cheeks. Why does he always make me smile?

- Let's start working on this first.

- I... I'll do it myself.

You stared at him for a couple of seconds and then said:

- I want to help you.

- Are you sure?

- Yes. I thought we got over this already.

You said with a giggle. You pulled a paper out of his notebook and handed it to him as you said with a smile:

-Try answering the equations here and then I'll check them for mistakes.

- I'll do my best.

 

 

He answered as he smiled faintly at you. He started working on the quiz as you pointed out some minor errors and showed him how to fix them. You watched him intently as you wondered if he's always this soft, this quiet. When you first saw him he seemed distant, cold, and aloof. Now it felt like he was a completely different person. Even though he was still as confusing, he was less unapproachable than before. And he definitely affected you in more than a way.

He scratched the back of his head when you pointed out another mistake.

- I guess I'll never totally get it.

You smiled at him when you noticed a light shade of red taking over his puffy cheek.

- It's okay. Chemistry isn't that easy.

- I just... I don't want you to think that I'm a lazy student.

- No no. I never thought you were lazy or anything. But.. if you find this difficult then why are you studying it?

You asked in curiosity. He let out a sigh before saying:

- It's one of the elective courses I have to take. I'm actually studying music composition.

Your eyes widened in surprise as you stared at him. Music composition? Can this guy get any more interesting?

- Music composition? That's really cool!

He blushed and fiddled with his pencil

- Thank you. I have to take some elective courses and chemistry was one of them. I thought it would easier than this, but apparently not.

You let out a tiny chuckle.

- It's okay. I can help you until you get over with it.

He turned to look at you and you felt your cheeks heat up when he said:

- Would you still want to help me? After what happened?

You nodded as you said:

- You... you saved my life today and this is the least I could do. And... we said we'll finish this and then talk about what happened, right?

- But this seems to take longer than I thought it would... You should go back to bed and I'll do the rest myself.

He turned to look at the sink and then let out an annoyed sigh.

- I forgot to do the dishes!

You looked at the sink and found a couple plates resting inside it. You got off your seat and said:

- You take care of your quiz and I'll do the dishes.

He jumped off his seat abruptly and stood between you and the sink.

- No no! Sit down. I'll do it when I'm done!

You pursed your lips and looked around for the apron. You found it hanged in a corner so you walked towards it, took it off the hanger and put it on.

- Sit down and finish your quiz.

- No. I won't let you do this!

You struggled to hide your smile as you remarked:

- I won't listen to you.

 

 

He hesitated for a couple of seconds as you stood in front of him, determined to make him move. When he saw how persistent you were, he dropped his head and moved out of the way. You smiled victoriously and looked at the dishes for a second before noticing that he got you gloves to put on.

- Would you at least put these on?

- Thank you.

- I shouldn't have called you.

You smiled as you put the gloves on.

- I haven't done this in a while.

He let out another sigh as he stood next to you. You looked at him and then said:

- Go finish your quiz.

He turned around and sat down on the kitchen stool before turning to look at you again. You flashed him a smile before turning the water on and getting on cleaning the dishes.

 

 

It took you 10 minutes to put the dishes in the dish rack and sit down next to him. He was copying his correct answers into the quiz sheet. You were staring at him, wondering what kind of a person he is. At times he seemed cold, even scary but now... a smile found its way into your lips as you continued to stare at him. Why does he make my heart flutter?

He looked at you and found you staring at him. He blushed and you averted your eyes away, trying to pretend you weren't staring.

- Thank you, for everything.

He said as he looked at the quiz in his hand. He was proud of himself, and at the same time thankful to you.

- You're welcome. And...

You scratched the back of your head in embarrassment as you added:

- Sorry for acting so rudely earlier. I was just nervous and... that phone call made it worse.

- I... I didn't mean to make you feel bad.

- It's okay. It doesn't matter anymore.

You said and then you were both silent for a few seconds. It really didn't matter anymore. The ease you found in his presence made you forget all your negative thoughts about him. Nothing of it mattered anymore.

You turned to look at him as you said:

- So what did you want to say?

He sat back in his chair and rubbed his hands together before saying:

- I have a lot to say to you but... I don't think we should talk here.

He looked at you as soon as his sentence was over, eyes fluttering and cheeks rosy. Your heart skipped a beat.

- Where then?

- Can we... Can we meet somewhere else? Somewhere outside the house I mean... If that's okay with you.

Is he asking me out on a date? You internally called yourself 'silly' at the thought. This is just a meeting, to clear things out. Just a meeting.

- I don't see why we can't.

You said after a few seconds of silence. He thought for a second before suggesting:

- What about the coffee shop where we met last time?

- Sounds good to me.

- Can we meet tomorrow?

He asked excitedly, eager to get a chance to talk to you. But... you were still scared. Even though he made you feel safe at home, and the security guards' presence assured you, you were still scared.

- Hm... can we wait a few more days? I'm still not sure about going out alone after... what happened.

- Are you still scared?

He asked with a tone of concern in his voice. You looked at him to find him staring softly at you, eyes filled with worry. You gave him a tiny nod, so he said soothingly:

- I won't let anything happen to you, ever.

You felt your heart thudding against your chest. He sounded very sincere and you couldn't understand why his statement made you feel an enormous amount of comfort.

- Thank you. I'll let you know when I'm ready to go out.

- I'll wait for you.

 

 

With that you left him in the kitchen to collect his things as you went back to your bedroom with your heart and mind lingering behind. You were too eager to know what he wanted to say, but you needed time.

 

 

A few days passed before you could feel that you were no longer in danger. With the security guards spreading around the entrances of the house as well as the main gate, you felt secure. When you received a phone call from the family's attorney informing you that the police traced the man to what seemed like an abandoned building on the outskirts of the city, you decided it was time to go back to your normal life.

 

 

You called Taekwoon later that night, knowing he was still in the kitchen working on his college work. He answered rather quickly and you smiled to yourself. He was eager to talk to you, to see you. You could see him stealing glances at you during the day and you were waiting for the right time to agree on meeting him at the coffee shop. He sounded animated as he asked you what time would be convenient to you. You agreed to meet him after lunch and he said he'll be waiting for you.

 

 

The driver pulled in front of the coffee shop. You thanked him before getting out of the car. You told him you'll call him when you're ready to go home before closing the door and walking into the coffee shop. Your heart was pounding in your chest the closer you got to where Taekwoon was sitting. He stood up and greeted you before pulling the chair facing his and letting you sit down before pushing it back.

- I ordered you a latte, I hope you like it.

He said as he sat facing you. You smiled at him as you said:

- I do. Thank you! Have you been waiting for too long?

- Not at all. I finished my last class and called home to let them know I am going to be late and then came here.

 

You gave him a tiny nod and he turned around to find that your order is ready. He got off his seat and walked up to the counter, brought the drinks and sat down facing you again. He handed you your drink and waited for you to try it before he started sipping his own drink. You were both silent for a few seconds until you asked, unable to hide the eagerness in your voice:

- So, what is it that you wanted to talk to me about?

 

He looked at you as he rubbed his hands together. It seemed like he had hundreds of thoughts roaming around his head since he was staring aimlessly at his cup of coffee. He finally straightened up in his chair and looked at you as he said:

- I like you. I think it's more than obvious that I do...

 

His sudden confession caught you off guard. Blood rushed into your already red-tinted cheeks. You looked at him to find his ears and cheeks turning a light shade of pink. Your lips uttered his name in a whisper, and his eyes sparkled as he continued:

- I've always liked you, I don't think I ever stopped. I know I make you feel terrible most of the time and I'm so sorry I confuse you and upset you. I love you, I really do. I've never been so in love with anyone else, and I never want to be. You mean a lot to me, more than you can ever imagine.

 

He paused to measure the effect his words were leaving on you. Your hands were shaking uncontrollably as you listened to his confession. His words and the look in his eyes were exposing him and you could feel the amount of undying love he held for you. It was overwhelming, and all you could do was blush.

He frowned slightly as he continued:

- But... I made promises... promises that I failed to keep and it bothers me. It bothers me that I can't have you and can't keep my promises.

You felt a knot form in your stomach as your breathing hitched when he said he made promises. You had to stop him as you asked:

- What promises?

- I... I promised Madam that... That I won't talk to you, I won't tell you what happened, I won't come near you at all.

His voice suddenly got a bit louder as he added:

- But I can't. I can't stop my heart from beating for you. I can't stop myself from falling for you all over again.

He bit his lower lip and his eyes glistened with unshed tears as he said:

- If there was one thing I regret the most it's that I was born a son of a gardener, a servant. It's not something I could control but it's something I can change. I am studying very hard and I will look for a decent job as soon as I graduate. When I do, I'll stand in front of you proudly and tell your whole family that I love you.

 

He paused for a couple of seconds to catch his breath. You wanted to take his hand and squeeze it in yours lightly, reassuringly. It hurt you that he was ashamed of himself when he shouldn't. It bothered you that it was your family that is making him feel so bad about himself and pressuring him for being the gardener's son.

- Even though Madam is taking a very good care of me, even though she's treating me better than the other servants, I still feel less than you, less than your family. But... this didn't stop me from loving you.

You remained silent, your heart clenching with every word he uttered.

- But to be worthy of you, I'm studying very hard. I work here and at home so that one day I can call you mine without embarrassing you. I'm doing this because I love you, I really do, and... in case you remember, in case you feel the same way about me. I want you to be proud of me... I'd hate myself if you rejected me because of who I am right now..

- Taekwoon...

 

You called his name faintly and he stopped talking and looked at you. You could see unshed tears in his eyes threatening to roll down his cheeks and his lower lip quivering as he stared at you. His ears were bright red and his puffy cheeks were a dark shade of pink. The corners of his lips lifted up in a bitter smile as he said:

- This isn't what I practiced last night.

He took a deep breath and then said:

- I don't want you to feel burdened by any of what I said. If you don't like me back, I'll live with it. I won't make you feel bad about it and I will never make you feel uncomfortable in any possible way.

 

You were silent the whole time, studying him and examining the way he fiddled with his fingers and rubbed his hands together. You spent a few moments considering everything he said, everything you felt, and then finally spoke:

- I... I really appreciate your feelings for me.

You paused for a second before adding:

- And I don't think you should be ashamed of yourself in any possible way.

 

You looked at him and gave him a reassuring smile. You were hoping that he didn't take what you're saying as an attempt to simply console him. It was just the beginning of what you really wanted to say.

Unable to wait any longer, he asked:

- Then... would you consider going out with me? The way I am now? I mean... like a... couple?

He's too impatient. You thought.

- I... I'll... need time... to think. Only because I... want to be sure before getting into a... relationship.

You stuttered and looked at him shyly. You knew exactly how you felt about him, but this wasn't an easy decision, and you didn't want to sound too eager. He smiled as he said:

- Take your time but please don't pressure yourself. My feelings for you mean nothing if you don't feel the same about me. If your answer is no then I promise to stop bugging you.

You gave him a tiny nod.

- Thank you.

 

 

 

You spent the night repeating everything he said in your head. You've always wanted to be in love. You wanted to look into someone's eyes and see the depths of their endless love to you. You could see that in Taekwoon's eyes every time they met yours. You could feel it in his voice every time he spoke to you. You could feel the warmth of his love every time you were around him. Even though you couldn't remember the childhood you spent together, it meant nothing to you now. You wanted to have the chance to get to know him all over again.

It didn't take you long to decide what your answer is.

You sat up in bed, pulled your hair up in a bun before getting off bed. I can't wait any longer. You left your room, closed the door behind you before running downstairs.

The closer you got to the kitchen, the faster your heart was beating. At one point you had to stop in your tracks and take a deep breath to calm the beating of your heart. You rested your back against the wall in the middle of your way to him, placed your hand on your heart and took another deep breath. Why does he make me feel like an overly excited teenager? For a second you were considering going back to your room, afraid you'll embarrass yourself. I shouldn't be acting like this, I'm an adult!

 

When you felt that the beating of your heart has slowed down, you continued your way toward the kitchen. Peeking inside the kitchen, you found him sitting to the kitchen table with a book in his hand. You were starting to feel more nervous about talking to him. Seeing him sitting there made your heart jump in your throat. He suddenly lifted his head up, as if sensing your piercing stares, or probably hearing the pounding of your heart in your chest. You took a step to the back and hid behind the corner, placing your hand on your chest.

- Why are you hiding?

 

You flinched when you found him hovering over you, looking down at you as you shamelessly hid behind the corner. You were blushing heavily as you stuttered:

- I just... I... need to talk to you.

He moved aside as he said:

- Come in.

You followed him inside the kitchen before sitting down on the stool next to you. You could feel the butterflies in your tummy unleash when he stared at you, urging you to speak.

- Taekwoon I...

He seemed disappointed for no apparent reason. Does he think I'm here to reject him? Idiot!

- I think I like you.

- I... What?

- I like you...

 

You averted your eyes away from him, missing the baffled expression on his face. You were dying in embarrassment, having never confessed your feelings to anybody like this before. You liked him, liked everything about him, his rare smile when he'd show it only to you, his eyes when roaming the place looking for you, his warm voice calling out for you.

- Are you serious?

He asked, swallowing hard, afraid he had misheard you.

- Very serious.

He reached for your hand on the table and it gently. You wanted to pull your hands out of his hold and hide your face behind them. Why is the kitchen suddenly getting too hot?

- I... I don't know what to say! I... I was afraid you'd... you'd reject me.

- What about now?

- Now I think I am the happiest person alive.

He eyes turned into crescents as his lips lifted up in a happy grin, causing your heart to flutter.

- But... I'm... I still need to study and...

- Taekwoon.

You called his name softly and he paused.

- I don't care about any of that. I... I like you the way you are and nothing else matters.

He leaned forward, bringing his face close to yours. You could feel his breath tickling your lips when he whispered:

- Is this all right?

His voice was soft and tender, making you tingle with excitement as you nodded your agreement to what he was about to do.

He locked his lips with yours, on them gently as he wrapped his arms around your body. You smiled into the kiss when you tasted coffee on his lips. He poured all his love for you into the kiss and everything within you stilled as you gave in to him.

He pulled back, looked at you lovingly before pulling you to his chest, tucking you beneath his chin, against his heart. You settled against him, your forehead nestling perfectly against his collarbones, and it felt that you were made to fit right there. Your heart skipped a beat when he whispered:

- I love you so much.

And you knew your whole life was drawn around this specific moment, and nothing else mattered.