I definitely can’t let him have his way on this.

                        I wasn’t lying.

I’m done for today. I really need to sleep. Without caring more about the matter I turned off my cell phone.

The rest of the week was a complete challenge and torture at the same time. I tried to be apart from each other and it would be worked if Earn didn’t insist in trying to be with me. Apparently it was too hard to understand that I didn’t want to be near of him.

-Hey Pete~-the voice of Fil echoed through the cafeteria

-Hi-I said while waving my hand

-Are you free after class?-Film asked me while sitting by my side

-I’m free, why?-

Lately I was being hanging out way too much with Film and it was good because that give a reason to reject Earn’s invitations. Now it was obvious that I was avoiding him. I supposed that he would give up and let me alone but in the opposite he was being so damn persistent about trying to talk with me and make things up that my intentions on giving up on him were being more and more inexistent.

-I need help with choosing a present for my sister, soon will be his birthday and I don’t have idea what to buy her-

-Well I don’t know if I will be of help but sure I’ll go with you-I said him while smiling

-Thanks!-he said loudly while hugging me by a few seconds

-No problem-

I was finishing my lunch when the deep voice of Earn interrupted me. I looked up at him and saw that his brows were furrowed. I felt bad because I knew he was upset with me.

-I need to talk with you Pete-he said containing his voice and then stared at Film-do you mind leaving us alone?-

-No need for that, I don’t have anything to talk with you-I hardly said without letting my voice break

Every time was harder to keep avoiding him.

I stood up and started to walk away from Earn with Film by my side. I lowered my head to avoid the guys around me see my eyes start tearing up.

-Are you ok?-Film asked me before returning to his own classroom

-I’m fine, see you later-I whispered and then entered my classroom

I sat down and tried to pay attention to class but with Earn by my side constantly looking me it was proving been really hard. I was feeling guilty about the current situation with him because it was having the opposite effect that I wanted. The more I tried to be apart, the more I fell in love with him.

Soon the last ring bell echoed through the speakers and all the guys exited the classrooms. I put my things inside my briefcase and was about to exit the room when a hand grabbed my arm rudely.

-Hey!-I shouted upset by that

-You’re not going anywhere until we talk first-Earn voice echoed in my ears

Few seconds later I was being harshly pulled by Earn. It was hurting my arm but I didn’t have enough force to reject him anymore. Soon we reach the principal gate of the school and in there Film was waiting for me.

-Pete? Earn?-Film said totally confused

-Sorry Film but Pete is busy already, go home now-Earn said and in his voice was clear how angry he was 

-Hey hey hey I made plans with him before than you-Film said while grabbing my another arm

-Sorry but I need to talk with him-

-You can talk another day with him-

-Back off-Earn warned while making stronger his grab in me and pulling me by his side

-You back off!-Film said and made the same as Earn

Now I was being pulled back and forth between the two of them. My arms were hurting so much that I was starting to get really angry with both guys.

-Leave him!!-Earn shouted and then dragged me stronger while pushing Film away

Without more argue Earn and I exited the school leaving Film behind. I felt bad for him but I was happy that Earn, in some way, fought for me. Hehehe. We took a taxi and soon Earn’s house was able to see. After paying the taxi we made our way inside the house. I was starting to feel nervous but everything was worst after knowing that we were the only ones in the house.

We reached his room too soon for my pleasant. I looked him but the only thing that I was able to see was his back.

-Are you going to tell me why you are avoiding me?-he suddenly asked

I jumped a little when I heard his voice. My heart started to beat faster and I felt how the oxygen in my lungs was being insufficient.

What was I supposed to tell him?

-You’re imagi..-

-I’m not imagining anything!!-he shouted and then turned to face me-tell me why you’re avoiding me-he said between his teeth

I lowered my head because it was hard to look him at the face.

-Are you mad at me?-he asked and his voice sounded more near that it was seconds before

I was unable to answer him. I could tell that if I said a word I definitely was going to cry. I only moved my head in a negative way to let him know that I wasn’t mad at him.

-Then what it is?-now his voice sounded weaker and more near

I can’t tell you!!

I closed my eyes tightly and bit my lower lip.

-Is something you can’t tell me?-he whispered very close at my ear

I trembled a little by that and opened my eyes. Now I could see his shoes. He was too close of me that I tried to go backwards but my back hit the wall.

-Pete what’s wrong?-

-No..nothing-I said but my voice trembled

-I know that’s a lie, tell me what’s happening-

-I can’t!-I shouted totally angry with myself

I tried to escape but the strong arms of Earn impeded me doing that. I struggled to break free but I couldn’t. I felt so weak that I let myself fall.

-Are you ok?-the concerned voice of Earn echoed through my ears

My cries made me impossible to answer him. I only let myself be hold by him.

-Lea..leave me alone Earn-I tried to break free of his embrace

-I can’t do that-

-Why you have to be like this?!-I shouted upset

I cried loudly. This was too hard to hold inside anymore. I was so upset by my feelings. Why has to be you?

-Earn..it’s too hard-I stuttered a cause of my cries

-What’s too hard?-

-…to love you-I whispered in between my cry-it’s too hard keep loving you-I repeated my words more loudly this time 

I let the silence grow between both for a while and tried to calm myself down. I wasn’t sure how many time passed but Earn’s sudden voice made me fear the worst.

I…I confessed to him!!

What have I done?!

-Pete…I’m...-Earn started to talk but I interrupted him

-Don’t say anything!!-I shouted totally panicked while putting my hands in his mouth

I could feel my cheeks irradiating heat. I was sure my face was totally red. How embarrassing.  

-Please…don’t say anything-I pleaded and had to lower my head

The tears were coming back.

-I…I don’t want to hear it-

I felt the warm hands of Earn in mines. I looked him while he was moving my hands away of his mouth.

-You don’t know what I’m gonna tell you-his voice sounded really soft

-I can imagine it-I avoided his gaze

I felt so damn awkward and embarrassed.

God if you are real please take me with you.

I’m not ready for his rejection.