I was feeling really sick listening to the other bands. I needed to go before start crying. I stood up and told everyone that I wasn’t feeling right, and it was not a lie, I say good bye to everyone and exited the room.

Why has to be Earn? Why him? Why I had to fall for him?

I could feel how the tears start to accumulate in my eyes.

-Hey Pete!-I heard Earn’s voice from behind

I couldn’t look back. If I see him I could start crying. I stopped my walk but didn’t turn around.

-Are you ok?-

No I’m not.

-I’m fine don’t worry-I said trying to control my voice

-Do you want me to accompany you?-

Yes, I do want to.

-I’m ok Earn, just go back-my voice cracked at the end

-Call me if you need something ok?-

-See you-

And after my words I started to running. When I realized my state the tears were dropping in my cheeks. I took a taxi and when I arrived to my house my cries were really evident. To my luck no one was in home so I went straight to my room.

I cried and cried until my head started to hurt and I couldn’t breathe.

And after thinking and thinking I concluded that if Earn was happy with another person I totally could agree with that.

-Even if it’s a boy, even if it’s Noh-I said and my voice sounded strangled

I cleaned my face and stopped my cries.

-If he is happy then everything it’s ok-

I said but my words made me feel like if my heart were been stabbed with a million knifes. It really hurts that the person you like doesn’t like you back. I felt so tired that I closed my eyes to fall asleep and forget everything about Earn.

The insistent sound of my cell phone awaken me. I took it and saw with blurry eyes that I had a lot of messages in Kakao Talk from Earn. I unlocked the device and read them.

                        Are you ok Pete?

                        What happened with you?

                        Are you sick? : (

                        Are you awake?

Inevitably I smiled reading his messages. He’s such a dumb.

                        I’m awake I’m awake ; D

                        Don’t worry. I’m fine.

                        See you in school.

Was the last thing I sent him. I stood up and went to take a shower. I changed my clothes and took my briefcase. I sighed and entered the car that takes me to school. The desire to cry came back when the school appeared in my field of vision. I breathe in and out to control myself. I suddenly saw Earn near to a little store in front of the school.

-Leave me here-I told him to my personal driver

When the car stopped I exited and went straight to where Earn was.

-Hey!-I shouted when I was close enough to him

-What’s up?-he said without looking me more than 5 seconds

I searched inside of my briefcase and took out a squid in a little stick.

-Here you go-I said smiley

-What’s happening with you and squid lately?-Earn told me totally confused by my acts

-I thought in you when I saw it and I bought it for you-I laughed a little

-I see-he said simply-how did you know I was here?-

-Oh, I saw you walking towards here so I followed you-

-I see-was the only thing he said

I looked toward the items in the table of the little store and saw what Earn was looking before I arrived.

-What’s this?-I said mischievously-to whom are you buying this?-

-N…nobody-

-People don’t buy these things to themselves, is for someone special, right?-

-It’s my business for whom I buy things, isn’t it?-

-How suspicious~~, if I had to guess I would said you have someone-

-No one asked you to guess Pete-

-I think that person probably looks like this pen-I said while taking a cute pen from the table in front of us

I turned around and saw how nervous Earn looked. It was kind of funny to see him like that.

-Light skin with a buzz cut head-I turned to look at him-looks like Noh, doesn’t he?-

-No, he doesn’t! What are you talking about?!-

-You should buy this too-I told him while grabbing a little stuffed dog-it looks like you-I said totally entertained

-What? Are you trying to pair me with Noh again?-

-Yeah, that’s what friends do, I want to help you to be with the person you like-I said an turned my head down

Pretend to be ok it was harder that I thought it would be.

-I didn't even told you that I like Noh-

-Dude, do you really believe that after singing that song to Noh, people still don’t know that you like him?-I told him a little upset

-You have too much imagination-he turned to look at me-you should be a writer, surely you’ll be famous-

-As far as I’m not aware that you are lying to me it’s fine, we’re friends remember?-

-But friends don’t have to tell each other everything-

Something inside of me cracked by his response.

-Fine then-I said half angry and half sad-why I even care about think in you?-I said angrily

I took the squid that I gave him and ate it in front of his face. I started walking toward the gate of the school.

-Stupid Earn-I whispered while entering the school

Too soon to my pleasure the time to take lunch came and I exited the classroom after Earn. I went to take my dish and then walked until the table where Earn and our friends were. I sat down and started to eat without looking them.

-No squid for Earn today?-one of my friends said

I turned to look at him totally angry.

-No, I preferred eat them by myself-I said

-I don’t care-Earn said without looking me-it’s not like I wanted to eat squid for the rest of my life-

-You give and give to someone and he doesn't see what you worth-I shouted angrily

-Are you talking about me?-Earn said and finally he turned to look at me

I didn’t say anything. Why he has to be like this?! My appetite disappeared completely. I looked him and saw that he was staring at Noh, he was a few tables away from us. That made me felt angrier.

-This is clearer that an IMAX 4K movie-I said staring at Earn

-What? What are you talking about?-

-Do you really want me to say it in front of the guys here?-

-Didn’t you say we were friends?-he said with a hint of disappointment in his voice

-And we are, I’m just helping you to get what you want-I said seriously and stood up

-What are you going to do?-Earn told me while grabbing my arm   

-Help you, of course-I said and a brief silence took place before Earn talked again

-Listen to me, don’t get into this-he said totally serious about it

-Why? You don’t trust in me?-

-I don’t trust when you are like this-

-Like this?!-I turned around totally upset-Hey Noh!! Earn likes…!!-I shouted but I was interrupted by Earn’s hand in my shirt-Earn likes squid!!-I finally said and in that moment I felt how Earn shoved me away

I looked him take the little box he had with him and leave the table. He looked really angry. I sat down and regret what I have done. I’m such an , stupid, dumb. I sighed and took my dish with almost all the food inside. I left the table too and, after leaving my dish, I exited the cafeteria.

The next class was physical education, our class was learning a sword choreography. I went to change my clothes and when I went back to the schoolyard I saw Earn. He looked at me and immediately turned around. He was avoiding me. I didn’t pay attention to him either and started doing what the teacher was telling us to do.

I was right behind Earn. I looked around and suddenly I pushed my sword to his back and he turned around totally aggressive.

-Do you want to test me or what?!-

-You were on my way-I said nonchalantly-so…are you going to say it to me now?-

-Tell you what?!-

-Don’t act like a fool, say me who you like-I shouted him

-Are you going to die if I don’t tell you every little detail of my life?-

I made a brief silence before talking back.

-I just want to know if we are still friends-

-If you are going to keep being so stupid, then I finish this friendship right here right now-he shouted at me while staring at my eyes

All my hope and the last piece of happiness in me left after hearing his words. I could feel the tears again in my eyes.

-Fi...fine then, if you can do that, then do it-I said and my voice cracked

I threw my sword at the floor and turned around. I keep going even when the teacher’s voice kept calling my name. 

-I’m so done with you Earn!!-I yelled really loudly while feeling how my tears escaped from my eyes

I went to sit down below of a tree. I didn’t know how much time I stayed there but the reality hit me when I heard my cell phone ring inside my pants. I took it and saw a notification from Kakao Talk.

Earn’s status has been updated.

I opened the app and read Earn’s status.

Always one step behind. : [

Is he alright? Was the only thing that popped up in my mind. Without thinking I clicked in the call icon and put the device in my ear, waiting Earn to answer my call. I waited but he didn’t answer.

Earn are you alright?