Tomorrow we have the audition for the Live Contest of the school. I was feeling nervous about that, it will be my first time playing instruments in public.

I didn’t want to go to my house so I ended asking Earn to stay in his house. This of course was normal because in past days I liked to stay in Earn’s house but now it was a bit hard for me.

I was way too conscious of Earn and his body.

-I’m going to take a shower-Earn suddenly said and without more words he took his towel and entered his bathroom

I was still playing with his Play Station when he came out of the bathroom. I took a peek of him and regret it immediately. Damn puberty, I thought while seeing how toned his body was. Why he didn’t dress up inside the bathroom?!

Only a towel, a damn towel was the only thing that covered his body. I gulped hard. I still remembered his thin and weak body when we were kids but now I could see his defined muscles.

-Hey Pete!!-I heard and jumped a little by the scare of Earn’s voice

-Wha…what?-I stuttered

-Aren’t you going to take a shower?-

-Ye..yeah-I stood up and went straight to the bathroom without looking him

I closed the door and left all my body weight in the closed door. I breathed in deeply and put one of my hands over my chest. My heart was beating really fast. I’m not going to be able to handle all this emotions.

-I have to stop overthinking in this-I told myself while opening the hot water faucet

I enjoyed completely my shower. I felt better when ended it. I was about to open the door but then remembered that I was without clothes and I didn’t have a towel. I was so focused in escaping earlier that I totally forget to ask for a towel.

-I’m such a stupid-

Suddenly a knock in the door startled me. I jumped a little and started to feel nervous again.

-Hey Pete I have an extra towel for you-Earn said from outside

I didn’t say anything and only opened a bit the door, Earn gave me the towel and immediately I closed the door. I dry myself and put the towel around my waist. I breathe in and out before exiting the bathroom.

The first thing I saw was a large shirt, shorts and clean briefs in his bed. I blushed deeply. Earn was not in the room so I changed myself quickly before he came back. I looked me in the mirror and saw how big his clothes fixed in my body. When he grew so much?

-Want to eat something?-was the first thing Earn told me when he came back

-Only milk-I said and he nodded

I saw through the mirror reflection how he was staring me that made me feel nervous. I focused my stare in myself and saw how my cheeks turned red.

-Wh...what?-I stuttered and turned around to see him better

-Nothing, I’ll be right back-was the last thing he said

I felt so tired after finishing my milk that I splayed myself in his bed. Slowly all the noises and the problems in my mind started to disappearing.

Next morning

I heard the chirps of the birds and slowly I opened my eyes. The first thing I saw was the night bed of Earn, I blinked and slowly turned around in the bed.

My heart almost stops when I saw Earn’s face near to mine. I stopped all of my movements to prevent awake him.

-“When became so handsome?”-I thought while seeing Earn’s sleeping face

It was hard to know that his heart belong to someone else. I moved away and stood up. It was 7:20 a.m almost time to enter school.

-What time’s it?-I heard Earn’s voice ask me

-Almost seven thirty-

-It’s late-was the only thing he said

Both of us started to dressing up and in no time we were ready to go to school.

The morning passed really quickly and before I could get mentally ready the time to do the audition for the Live Contest came.

I was feeling really nervous but when I listened to the bands ahead of us I felt better. At least we weren’t that bad. I looked over where Earn was. He looked really confident about all this. Seeing him made me feel least nervous. Soon our turn came and we took our places in the stage.

We started playing our first song. It was in English and the instruments didn’t sounded so bad but the vocals of Earn weren’t very good. I looked over where the judges were and almost missed one note. They all looked very bored and sleepy. We’re finished, was the only thing that crossed my mind before listening Earn’s voice through the speakers.

-Noh, don’t fall asleep yet please-

I looked him and then my eyes fell in Noh.

-We got another song yet, listen carefully all right?-Earn said and I saw how a big smile stayed in his lips

It couldn’t be.

I started to play the guitar again going along with Earn’s voice. I looked him while playing. He was staring at Noh. The lyrics of the song hit me like a truck.

So it was him.

The person that Earn likes is Noh.

I turned my head down totally depressed by this fact. It was good that the end of the song were near. Because I wasn’t feeling like keep playing. Soon the end came.

An awkward silence grew before the noisy voice of Om, the vice president of the Band Club spoke.

-Earn, you got balls to sing a love song and flirt with our…-his words were abruptly interrupted by Noh

-Shut the f*** off Om-Noh shouted while hitting Om’s head

-You got the higher score for your bravery Earn-was the last thing I heard before leaving the stage

I put the guitar in the floor and leave the stage quickly. I went to sit beside Earn while listening to the other songs. Listening to the lyrics of the song of Phun’s band I felt more disconsolate and sad. All the words were very accurate with what I was feeling.

And I know that it won’t be possible

As time goes on, my hope fades

When you have never looked my way

And no matter what I do, you’ll never love me

I realize that my dream will end sooner or later

But now, I still have time

To find a good reason to pull you back

But I know too well that there’s no hope for me

No matter how much I love you

I know you’ll never care

Yet, I still hope and dream that someday you’ll have me

But I know it won’t be possible

When you believe that I’m not the one

It’s ok, I just want to keep you in my heart as long as I can

Unloveable – Mild

I keep talking with the other guys to suppress my need to cry right there. Why I felt like this?! I should be happy for Earn because he likes someone like Noh. Then…why I felt so miserable?