Today I was going to help Earn with the duties of our club, so I had to go to his house. The day was really bright and that made me feel happy. Today is going to be a good day. I told myself while walking to Earn’s house.

-Hello Pete- Mother’s Earn said when I arrived at his house

-Hello, is Earn in home?-

-Of course, you can go to his room-she said smiley while stepped aside to let me enter her house

-I will go then, thanks-I said while I made a little bow to her

I was entering Earn’s room but I heard him talking so I waited and listened to his little conversation.

-I don’t see you in that way!-he made a little pause and then continued talking-but.. if I did it, what would you say?-

-I wonder what would that person say-I said when entered totally Earn’s room

-Oh! When did you arrived?-Earn said totally startled by my presence

-Right now-I said walking until his chair beside him-I just arrived right now-

-Why did you not tell me before?, I would have gone to find you-

-Well, your mother let me enter-I said and made a pause before continuing talking-so..with who were you talking?-

-Have you never talked with yourself?-he told me while watching me

-But I saw you practicing to confess to someone, who is?-I asked totally intrigued by the answer

-I...I don’t know what you’re talking about-he said totally nervous-I’m going to get the laptop to begin with our work-he said and without more words left the room

I saw him go and the first thing that popped up in my mind was that his reaction was really weird, what was going on with him?

 I laughed and thought about make fun of him a little more.

After a few minutes he came back with his laptop so I started working. I was typing our report but he was not doing anything, bastard, he was only daydreaming.

-Hey!-I said but he did not pay attention to me-HEY!-I said more loudly while I hit his arm

-Uh?-was the only thing that he said to me, this bastard.

-You’re not focused, are you thinking in someone?-I asked him smiling while watching his reaction

-Nobody, I don’t know what you’re talking about-he said hiding his face of me

Oh~ he is embarrassed, this is so funny.

-You fell in love too soon-I said trying to control my laugh

-What?, it’s nothing like that-

-Eh~~, you’re my friend-I said to him while pushing his arm-don’t be afraid, I won’t tell anyone-

-Ok ok-he made a little pause-you know, normally the heart beat it’s like this-he said to me and then turned around until he was facing me

With his hand he made the movement of the heart and then with his throat he made the heart beat sound. I watched him carefully doing that, what was the point?

-Right?-he said very close to my face

-Yeah-I said facing him; his face was really close to mine

-But, what happen when you are close to someone and your heart starts beating like this?-

Again he started mimicking the movement and the beat of the heart but this time was faster than before. I saw him closely, why was so close?

-Like that, what’s the meaning of that?-

-Uhm~…depends if you’re walking or running-I said seriously and then turned to see the laptop again

-And what has that to do with my question?-

-Oh! If you run the heart beat goes faster, right?-I said trying really hard not to laugh while viewing the photos of the soccer play

-HEY!-Earn shouted after a few seconds of analyzing my words and then he hit me in the head-you wise guy!-

-Ow~, but, are you going to tell me?-I said laughing a little-I really want to know who is-I said to him while I patted my poor head. This bastard sure hits hard.

-I can’t tell you-Earn said after a few second and then he took his pen and continued to write in his notebook

I took a look of him and then turned my attention to the laptop. Why is he being so shy about the matter?

Ah~~ it’s not my business anyways. I started watching the photos of the band of Noh’s club. The photos were really amazing. That day all of us were really busy but it was a funny day.

Uh?

What it is this?

The photos after the band, shows me and Earn.

Uh?

Why in all the photos Earn is looking at me?. This is weird.

So… I’m the person Earn was going to confess?!

I gulped really hard before I turned to see him. Why?. Why now?. Are you serious Earn?

I’m not going to overthink in this.

-Waa~!-I shouted a bit scared when Earn’s arm touched mine

-What’s wrong with you?-

-Don’t you think you are way too close to me?!-I said half nervous half frightened-I don’t want to get electrified-

Wha..what was going on?!

-How the hell it’s that possible?-

I watched him, why was so nervous?. It’s just Earn goddammit!

-Whatever just don’t get so close-I turned to continue looking the photos to finish the report

-WAA~!-I was totally startled when his hands touched me after a few seconds

-Hahaha-he laughed hard before talking again-what the hell is happening with you?-he told me and second later his warm body touched mine

-Waa~~!-that scared me so much that I ended up in the floor

-What happen with you?-

I stood up quickly and watched him.

-Yo..you gave me an electric shock-I gulped and fixed my t-shirt

-We’re not in the X-men movies, I don’t use any kind of special power against you-

I saw him stare at me and move his head.

-You’re crazy-

Aish!. What the hell I’m doing?, I scratched my head while thinking in my behavior. I’m going insane. I need to get out of here. This is too much to handle.

I turned everywhere to find the better way to run away. Thinking about this situation, where were all of our club members?

-Hey, we are not having a meeting to make a report for the Cheer Club?, Where is everyone?-

-Well…Por has gastroenteritis, Tee’s grandmother died so he went to Suphanburi for the funeral and Card played Defense of the Ancients until late so he is sleeping, that’s why they aren’t here today-he said totally calm and continued writing

-Are you saying that only you and I will be together all day?-

-Yeah-he told me totally happy about that

-Aish~-I breathe out and rubbed my head again

-Uhm~, your head hurts?-

-No no, I have to go to the bathroom-I said totally in panic

-You have to go to the bathroom and because of that you rub your head?-he asked me while looking me like if I was crazy

 -Well…I have to go so badly that my head hurts, I’m going to use your bathroom-

-Yeah-was the only thing he told me after my crazy explanation

What on earth I’m saying?!

I started to walk but the words of Earn made me turn around totally embarrassed.

-My bathroom is that way-he pointed the door and I walked as fast as I could to hide my ashamed self

-Make sure to clean well yourself-he told me right before I was able to open the door

Totally scared I turned around and put my hands in my , he looked me and laughed hard.

-What’s wrong with you?-

I closed the door and locked it. I breathe out so deeply that I got a little dizzy.

What’s happening?

I walked until the mirror inside the bathroom and looked my reflection. I grabbed my head between my hands and sighed.

-Calm yourself a bit Pete-I told me while rubbed my hands

I looked at my reflection and started talking with myself.

-Earn, I like girls, I don’t like boys, I’m sorry-

No, this doesn’t sound well.

-I don’t feel the same way that you-

No, this doesn’t feel right.

-Earn, I only think in you as a good friend-

This is…

-Arg~! No, no, no, no- I rubbed my head and my neck by the desperation

-Earn, I think we should keep being just friends-

Ah~~ that sounds better.

I sighed deeply before going out of the bathroom. I keep recalling the words that I was going to tell Earn but all my thoughts died in the moment that my eyes saw him.

-AHH~! What are you doing?!-I told him totally startled about the situation

He was undressing right before my eyes, well it’s not like I have never seen him only in his underwear, but in this moment was totally different. I could feel how my cheeks turned pink of embarrassment.

-I’m taking of my pants-he said totally calm about it

-Why are you doing that?!-

-Well, it’s my house, I’m taking it off ‘cause I feel uncomfortable-he looked me-I can’t do it?-

-Tha…that’s your thing, I guess-I told him while turning my eyes away of him-but don’t dare to take off your shirt-I whispered

I turned to him to see if he was finished but he was now taking off his shirt.

-Hey hey hey! What are you doing now? Why are you taking off your shirt?-I told him totally in panic

-You told me to take it off-

-I told you not to take it off!-

-But you told me that-

-Like I said, I told you not to take it off!!-I told him totally angry

-Whatever you say man-

I turned around to avoid seeing me. Why I was so nervous?¡

This doesn’t make any sense.

When I turned around I saw how Earn was walking towards me. I panicked and started backing away

-Hey!, Wha…what are you doing?!...Don’t come any closer!!-

He doesn’t listened to me and kept walking until only a few centimeters were left between both.

-What´s wrong with you?-he said while putting his arm in his closet

-No, what’s wrong with you?!, why have to be today?...I’m not…I’m not ready yet-

What the hell I’m talking about?!

-What’s going on with you today?-he said while staring closely at me

Why I felt so nervous about all this?!. I’m too conscious about myself and Earn right now.

I pushed him only to be more away from his body.

-Well I was…I was coming out of the bathroom and you were taking off your clothes-

I breathe in only to be sure of not passing away in that precise moment.

-Well…What if you wanted to do it? I would be the only one in troubles!-I felt like the saliva in my mouth was stuck in my throat

-Is that how you see me?-

-Yeah-

An awkward silence grew between us. I saw him nodding and before I was aware of the situation his body was on top of mine.

-What are you doing?!!-I shouted totally panicked by his actions

The only thing that I was able to do was hit his head, with that he freed me and I run away of him until I reached his balcony.

I sighed deeply trying to control my heart beating.

Uh?

Why is pounding like this? By an unknown reason I thought about what Earn told me before.

-No no, it’s ´cause I was running-I told myself to feel better about all the crazy things that were happening

-ouch~~ Pete, what are you doing outside?-I heard Earn´s voice and the panic came back

How I didn´t answered he talked again.

-I think we need to talk-he said while grabbing my arm

-Can´t we talk another day?-I told him refusing to go inside again

-No-

-Let´s talk another day-I begged him but he only pulled my arm over his shoulders-Earn!! Earn!! Earn!!-I shouted while he was carrying me inside his room

He threw me at his bed and turned around to close his door.

-Wh…why are you closing that door?-

-I don’t want you to escape again!-

I stood up from his bed and begin backing away of him. I was beyond nervousness.

-Pete, we have been friend for many years, I think it´s time for us to talk seriously-he said totally serious and that only got me more nervous

-Can’t we do that another day?-

Yes I was trying to avoid everything because was out of my hands can handle all this stuff.

-Why?-he stepped more closely and I walked backward-I think we are very close-

-That’s right and I think we have to stay close only the necessary-

-I know you know me well and I know you well too-he said and touched my chest

I felt a weird sparkle when he touched me, what was wrong with me?!

-I think now it´s the time-he said while putting his arm beside my head

When I reached his closet? Now I was trapped between him and his damn closet. I turned to face him totally scared.

-I´m just going to make you a question and be honest with me…what…?-

-Wait wait!-I told him totally panicked from the hundredth time this day

I put my hands in front of my face and closed my eyes, I can´t see him while I’m telling him this.

-I like boys, I don´t like girls!-

-What?!-

-Ah! No, no, no!...I think of you like something more than a friend!-

-What did you just say?-

-What?!, no, no!!-I was saying nonsenses-let me begin again!-I was so damn nervous that my mouth was betraying me

I sighed deeply and put away his arm because that was making the things worst.

-Listen to me-I told him and I put both of my hands in his shoulders-I don´t like you-

-Pete-he grabbed my shoulders-listen to me-I turned my face-I don’t like you-he said slowly

-Uh?-was the only sound I made

Uh?

What´s that? I felt…disappointed. What was I expecting? I should be happy that Earn doesn´t like me in that way, so, why I feel so depressed right now?