We were lucky to find one more taxi, parked in front of a convince store around the corner, the driver sitting on the hood having a smoke. We'd wondered so far that by the time he could get us back to the station the last train of the night would have already left, and the rest of the cash Luhan had wasn't anywhere near enough to get me all the way home. "We can make it to my place" Luhan offered and although I wanted to refuse I didn't really have any other options at this point.

            I sat next to him in the taxi, the driver gave us a few weird looks, but since we were paying him he didn't say anything and just drove. We made it to Luhan's place in no time, it was a small one story house that looked nearly identical to the others planted all around. "I'm home" he announced when he'd pulled out a set of keys and let us in, kicking his boots off and leaving them a mess in the entryway along with other sets of women's shoes.

            "Luhan?" a sweet voice came from around the corner where a light was still on. I half expected to see a cute girl, that despite everything odd about Luhan he was still interested in women and had a girlfriend living with him, but when I followed him into the room I saw a middle aged woman lying on the bed, reading a book with the lamp on next to her.

            "Mom, it's too late for you to be reading, get some sleep" Luhan was just barely speaking above a whisper in Chinese. I was able to just barely translate what I could by remembering the many lessons Yixing had given me. He picked the bookmark that was lying next to the lamp up and placed it in her book before closing it and putting it away.

            "You look so pretty, but you smell so bad. Go take a bath" she laughed, her voice was really soft and she could barely follow his movements with her head.

            "I will mom, when you go to sleep" he sat down next to her.

            "Sleep? I'm sleeping right now" she closed her eyes and pulled her blanket up.

            "Alright, good night" he patted her hand and kissed her forehead before turning out the lamp and I turned away to pretend like I wasn't watching when he came back out into the hallway.

            "The shower is right there" he pointed at a door behind me. "You can go first and I'll get you some clothes to change into"

            "Are you sure it's alright for me to stay here?" I glanced over at the door to the room that held his sleeping mother, not wanting to intrude.

            "It’s fine. When she gets to sleep she's out cold for the rest of the night" he pushed me towards the bathroom and showed me how to turn on the hot water because somehow the nobs got switched before leaving me alone. I showered quickly and when I pulled the curtain back a towel and a pile of pajamas were left on the sink for me, I hadn't even heard him come back in. The clothes fit me perfectly and I wondered out with the towel draped over my head to find Luhan and tell him he could clean up now.

            I found some light so I followed it to its source, a room at the end of the house all by itself. I would have knocked but the door was already open so I let myself in, Luhan turned around when he heard me even though he was in the middle of putting his shirt on. "Ah I'm sorry" I looked away like I was embarrassed but that only made it worse.

            "What are you?" I could see him laughing because even though I was turned around there was a mirror in front of me and a full length mirror hanging on his closet door in front of where he was standing. "I kiss you once and you hate me. I kiss you dressed like a girl and you kiss me back"

            "It wasn't like that" I swung around to defend myself but he didn't seem to care. When he kissed me the first time I was upset, but that was because he made a huge scene in the process. Tonight, even though we are both a little drunk and he was dressed like a girl, I didn't think about it like that, I just thought it was kind of nice so I wanted to try it again. I didn't tell him that however, and when I didn't say anything else he dropped the question.

            "You can sleep here tonight, I'll sleep in the living room" he pointed over at his bed and took the towel off my head as he went to take his own shower.

            I was tired, and my feet were even more so, so I sat down but I knew I couldn't bring myself to sleep in someone else's bed so I waited for him to come back and I could tell him that I would sleep in the living room. While I waited I looked around with some feeling of deja vu, I'd been in the same situation before, at Jongdae's apartment, but this felt different. From what I could gather of Luhan's house as I walked though in the dark it was fairly neat, but I figured that was because we're in his mom's house not his. I could tell because Luhan's room was in a completely different state.

            It was really dimly lit because the light above wasn’t on, instead a lamp letting out a faintly yellow light hit the red lamp shade and made his room glow slightly vermillion. There were posters on nearly every inch of the walls, clothes hung out of the drawers and magazines with what looked like music books covered the top. The mirror I was looking at earlier had pictures stuck in the frame of him and the band members at the bar and underneath it sat an amp and a guitar case. There was even more clothes on the floor, and wadded up pieces of paper that didn't make it into his over flowing trash can. His room was very messy but it wasn't disgusting at all, just unorganized.

            "Here drink this" he handed me a tall glass of water when he returned. "It'll help your headache in the morning" he sat at the opposite edge of the bed as he drank his.

            "You live with your mom?" I asked because I didn't want to just sit in silence as we drank our water.

            "I have to, she's sick" he told me even though I didn't really need to know that much. "She's been sick for a really long time, not physically sick until just recently"

            "I'm sorry to hear that" was all I could say and I wished I wouldn't have brought it up.

            "That's why I work as a model, I hate it but it makes me enough money to pay all the bills" he sighed the sigh of an old man who thought they had already experienced everything in life and was unsatisfied. "I've been working for that magazine since I was a teenager, before Jongdae came along too"

            "Why did you start?" Luhan had made it very clear that he hated having to dress like a girl so I always wondered why he ever did it in the first place, now seemed like my only chance to find out.

            "Like I said" he started before finishing his water, "My mom has been sick for a long time. She has PTSD, it started after my father made her abort her first baby because he wanted a boy. After that she was treated with severe depression and my father ended up divorcing her, she never told him that she was pregnant with me"

            "Luhan" I turned around and put a hand on his shoulder to stop him but for some reason he kept speaking.

            "My mom couldn't live with the fact that her girl was never born, so when I was born she thought that's who I was. For the first few years of my life until I started school I only wore girl's clothes, it wasn't until I got my uniform that I realized boys didn't wear dresses and frilly things. In school I was picked on a lot because I didn't act or play like the other boys, my teacher took pity on me and when my mom refused to have a parent teacher conference my teacher hunted down the name of my father and called him. It's kind of weird, if that teacher of mine wouldn't have been nosy and contacted my father, I don't know if he would ever have known I existed. By then he had already started another family, with three normal sons, and he'd moved to Korea for his business. He paid for me to come to a boy’s school here but other than that he didn't really want anything to do with me. My roommate was the one who taught me guitar and how to act more like a boy, even though I couldn't speak Korean very well then he was nice and tried to help me" he looked around his room at all the posters with a weak smile and I imagined that they hung in their dorm.

            "What happened to your mom while you were gone?" I knew that I probably shouldn’t be making him relive everything like this, but if he was willing to tell me his story then I would continue to listen.

            "I spent four years in that boy’s school because that's what my father paid for. When I left I had the choice to either go back to China, or stay here, I chose to stay. I used the rest of the money my father had given me to buy an apartment and one day when I was out job hunting I was scouted to audition to be a model for the magazine. I was sixteen with no job experience and desperately needed the money so I agreed because they said if I was hired they'd work around my school schedule. Little did I know that they were scouting me to model as a girl. At first I declined but then I got a call from the hospital in China telling me that my mom had gotten physically sick and she needed someone to take care of her until she got better again. I called the magazine back and agreed to do whatever they wanted me to and I got mom to sell the house in China and buy this house here. Mom got better and she worked for a while until I finished school and I was thinking about quitting, but we just found out that she's sick again" he shook his head and scoffed, "I don't even know why I'm telling you all of this"

            I honestly didn't know what to do or say to what I was just being told but I desperately felt like I had to come up with something. Quick, what do I do when I need help? I call Yixing. But what if Luhan doesn't have someone close to him like Yixing is to me? For some reason Jongdae came to mind. I wondered if Jongdae, being Luhan's boss, knew anything about this or how he felt. "Does Jongdae know?"

            "Jongdae?" Luhan's voice shifted at the sound of his name. "Why would I tell him that?"

            "Because Jongdae" I tried to explain why I thought telling him would be a good idea even though I'd already admitted that I didn't know him very well. "He's a good guy that wants to help"

            "Is that what he told you?" Luhan turned around to face me and we were both sitting crisscrossed on his bed now. "Didn't I already say he has an ulterior motive for hiring you?"

            "What ulterior motive? He told me that he just felt like he wanted to help me" I really couldn't think of any time he'd tried to get something out of me so what could he really want?

            "Ahh I see. Did he talk about ‘mysterious feelings’?" he laughed at me as my face blushed because it wasn't like that when Jongdae said it. "He likes you Minseok that's why he's helping you."

            "L-likes me?" I hiccupped a little because I hadn't finished my water and I was still feeling the effects of the alcohol.

            "I can see why too, you are very cute" Luhan put his finger under my chin and I flinched but let him keep it there because I was curious to see what he would say next. "You have fair skin, decent style, soft lips. Oh but I guess Jongdae doesn't know that about you yet"

            I pulled my head away now feeling a little too irritated. "Even if Jongdae did like me, I'd rather it be him than you" I spat out without really thinking about what I was saying.

            Before I could comprehend what was happening Luhan had pounced and pinned me to the bed, my wrists trapped underneath his grip on each side of my head and he leaned in so close that I could feel his lips touching mine even though they really weren’t "Who said I liked you?" he breathed against the sensitive skin and the hairs on the back of my neck involuntarily stood up. "You don't even begin to know what it's like to be loved by me, but I'll give you a peak" He slipped his knee between my legs and kissed me just on the lips because I wouldn't let him get any further.

            "Hey stop!" I hollered without trying to wake up his mom at the other end of the house and kicked my legs underneath him.

            "Why? You don't seem to hate it Kim Minseok, amateur photographer, straight man who hangs out at a gay bar. Do you even really know who you are?" he let my hands go and I could have hit him but I didn't and he was probably expecting that I wouldn't.

            "No, I don't" I mumbled as I lay limp underneath him. "I don't know who I am" I'd asked myself that a lot recently, but Luhan was the only one to ever ask me out loud and it scared me that I was being too obvious about how lost I was.

            "You can be anybody you want to be, it's easy" Luhan pressed his cheek against mine and whispered into my ear, "Just close your eyes and feel it"

            I followed his command and closed my eyes as he kissed me again and this time I didn't think about how I shouldn't like it. Like earlier tonight at the park, I just felt how good it was and I kissed him back. I felt Luhan's lips pull into a smile when he realized that he'd converted me to his way and he edged his fingers into my hair tugging just a little bit to get me to open my mouth wider and I couldn't help but think that I kind of liked it a lot.

            I woke up to the realization that we'd fallen asleep next to each other in the bed when Luhan groaned at the banging on his door. "Who the hell?" he rolled out of his bed; I didn't remember him taking off his shirt so he must have done it after I fell asleep. I shamelessly rolled back over when he left to go answer the door because my body was telling me I hadn't slept enough and I had a splintering headache.

            "Luhan! Did you hear from Minseok last night? He said he would text me when he got home and he never did so I'm a little worried" I heard Jongdae's voice travel through the house.

            I threw the blankets off of myself and ran to find them at the front door. "Oh my god I'm so sorry my cell was dead and I don't have my wallet..." I was beginning to explain the unfortunate events of last night as quickly as I could until I noticed his jaw dropped as he was staring at me standing next to a shirtless Luhan, wearing his clothes, with a bed head. "Oh, Luhan only had enough cash to make it back to his house and it was already so late so he let me stay the night and borrow these" I pointed at the pajamas.

            "I saw him when he was lost and drunk and I couldn't just let him go home alone" Luhan added and I jabbed him with my elbow because he was a hundred times more drunk than I was and he was one of the reasons why I was so lost.

           "I knew I shouldn't have let you walk back alone" he sighed and let himself inside instead of standing in the door way.

            "No its okay, I made it somewhere safe so that's good. I'm sorry I didn't get a hold of you earlier" I bowed in apology thinking if staying at Luhan's house was really the safest place for me to have been after last night.

            "Well, now that I know you're alright" he trailed off again as he saw Luhan bringing me another glass of water and feeling my forehead. "I didn't think the two of you got along this well?"

            "Get along?" I tried to understand exactly what he meant by 'get along'.

            "Not really" Luhan answered for me, "I was just helping him a little." he ruffled my hair and left to go put some more clothes on and I explained in more detail what happened to Jongdae.

            "That's must have been stressful" Jongdae sounded a little more understanding after he'd heard the whole story. "I know how much of a handful Luhan can be when he's drunk"

            "Hey don't blame me" Luhan complained and I agreed that it wasn't Luhan's fault at all.

            Jongdae didn't seem satisfied with that conclusion but he left with a smile and another "Get home safely this time".

            "I told you he likes you" Luhan teased after he was gone and I began to gather my dirty clothes to put back on so I could go home.

            "Shut up, he was just concerned, now turn around I'm changing" he rolled his eyes and turned around like I told him to. "And don't stand in front of the mirror!" I added when I remembered I was able to see him last night through it.

            "What are you doing tomorrow night?" Luhan asked after he moved away from his closet.

            "Tomorrow night?" I asked not because I even knew if I had any plans or not, but because I was unsure as to why Luhan was asking me.

            "Tomorrow night, I'm taking you out" he informed me of plans he made without even asking.

            "Taking me out?" I nearly fell over as I tried to pull my jeans on and comprehend what in the hell he was telling me at the same time.

            "I can't let what you said about dating Jongdae instead of me go" since I was too focused on getting my clothes on correctly now I didn't even realize he had come up behind me and he reached around my waist to help me button my jeans, pressing his chest against my . "I told you I'd give you a taste of what it's like to be loved by me, so I'm taking you on a date"

            "And if I refuse?" I pulled away from him and snatched my shirt to quickly put it on too.

            "You won't refuse" he let a sly smile slip even though it was clear that he was trying to hide his amusement. "Because you're just a little interested in what it's like"

            "I think you've gotten something wrong about me" I folded the clothes he let me borrow and left it on top of the clearest spot on his long dresser and I retrieved the rest of my things so I could leave.

            "I don't think I have" he followed me to see me out.

            "Thank you for letting me stay" I bit my tongue to hold back what I really wanted to say, which was go to hell, and tried to still be my usual respectful character.

            "Until the next time Baozi" he replied and I was actually surprised he remembered the babble from his drunken state last night.

            Jongdae had actually found my wallet before he left last night and he’d returned it to me so I was able to take a taxi home. When I was finally back in the comfort of my own place I immediately plugged my cell in and made sure it was actually charging as I got dressed in clean clothes. As I changed again it kept buzzing, mostly messages from Jongdae which made my stomach ache with remorse, but one was actually from Yixing asking how dinner was going and I went ahead and speed dialed his number.

            "Hello?" he answered on the fourth ring.

            "Yixing, I think I screwed up big time"

*I actually really like this chapter, some of the things Luhan said were a little sappy but what do you expect while he's drunk? As always I'd like to know what you thought and subscribers and upvotes are what make my day!

Please read this http://www.asianfanfics.com/blog/view/1045906 *