“What do you think they’re talking about?” I asked Yixing after about three minutes of waiting outside the hospital room.

            “It’s none of our business” Yixing replied through gritted teeth.

            “Look, the blinds are open a little bit” When I looked back I could just barely see their figures through the cracks in the blinds covering the window that was behind the chair Luhan was now getting up from. I watched as Luhan stood next to the bed for a moment before bending down to do what looked like kissing Minseok on the forehead and I whipped my head back around quickly when I saw him going for the door.

            “I’m leaving now” Luhan announced to the both of us but he was looking at me when he said it. Yixing watched as we stared each other down, sending mental curses across with our eyes, before Luhan broke and left the battle ground.

            I ran back into the room hoping Minseok would want to talk to me to but he just laid there with his eyes closed. “Come on; let him rest while he’s here” Yixing placed his hand on my shoulder and lead me over to the chair Luhan was sitting in before. Minseok rolled over so that his back was to me and I let my head fall into my hands.

            I didn’t have to stay at the hospital for very long. I thought Jongdae would want to come back to my apartment but he left saying he had to get up early for work in the morning before I was even discharged. I didn’t mean to be so harsh to him; I just didn’t know what to say. Unlike Luhan, I knew exactly what I needed to say to him, I was still unsure about Jongdae and I didn’t want to start anything I couldn’t finish.

            Yixing took me home since I didn’t have my car. He asked if I wanted him to come inside so we could talk but I said no I just wanted to lay down some more. “Call me if you need anything” he ended and drove off.

            The night air outside was cold since I was back in the clothes Luhan had picked out for me. I waited there as I thought about what I said earlier.

            “I want to continue to go on dates with you, but I need to know it’s not just a joke because I don’t know if that’s worth loosing Jongdae’s friendship” I’d told Luhan after we’d talked for a little bit. He looked like he wanted to say something but he held himself back. “Don’t play with me anymore” I continued and he looked up at me with misunderstood eyes. “I’m not a toy or a game, I’m a person with thoughts and feelings and things I cherish. Unless you’re serious you should just leave me alone”.

            I used Jongdae’s friendship as an excuse because it was important to me, but after today I realized that the more time I spent with Luhan the more I craved his presence. If Luhan wasn’t serious I need to quit now.

            It was quiet at home. Yixing didn’t call or text me, probably trying to give me some space. It didn’t bother me that I didn’t hear from Luhan, I said what I needed to say to him and was satisfied with that, but what I couldn’t get over was why Jongdae hadn’t even text me.

            You need to talk to him. I kept picking up my cell and pulling up his contact but never hit the call button. I was never good with talking on the phone, one small reason why I didn’t want to work for my father, but if I went to talk to him he could just ignore me like I did. Still, I had to try.

            I knocked on the door thinking I probably should have called before instead of randomly showing up in case he was busy or not even home.

            "I'm coming!" he called frantically and I hoped it wasn't a bad time. Since he kept me waiting so long, instead of checking to see who it was first, he just swung his door open. "Minseok?" he was thoroughly surprised to see me.

            "Can I come inside?" I asked with a shy smile because he had all the right to deny me as he rubbed the back of his neck and looked wearily over his shoulder with a sigh.

            "It’s a mess but sure come on in" he moved aside and shut the door behind me.

It looked like a storm had raged inside the living room. Dirty dishes were stacked on his table and different mugs with different levels of coffee and tea were scattered all around. One of the walls was completely covered in magazine cut outs and prints in some sort of collage only he could understand.

            "Sorry, it felt stuffy in my office so I moved everything out here" there were wires that connected his printer and documents scanner leading from where they sat in the living room down the hallway and into his office. "My department is in charge of the theme for next month and I have to submit a layout by tomorrow morning"

            "Is there anything I can do to help?" I asked since I’d interrupted him and he looked over at me like a saint had just appeared before him.

            “Actually, can you show me what I’m doing wrong with this edit?” he brought me over to his laptop where he was attempting to edit a picture on a really low grade app. He showed me what he was trying to do and I explained that he was using the wrong tool to get the effect he wanted. “And while you’re working on that can you take a look at these too?” he opened a folder and I agreed to do that while he worked on cutting out and pasting things over in the corner.

            It took a long time for us to finish but it was at least half the time it would have taken him to do it alone, which meant he would have only got a couple of hours of sleep before presenting it, so I was glad that I could help him get it done faster. “I think everyone will really like it” I gave him some encouragement because he was looking through the finished product with his eyebrows pushed together in deep thought.

            He smiled a tired crazy smile and suddenly hugged me. “Thank you so much!” I hugged him back and it lasted a lot longer than a normal hug before he pulled away. “I’ll go get us some coffee and you can tell me why you came over”

            “Oh, it’s okay I’ve stayed so long already. I’m sure you need to go to bed soon to get some rest” right now was a really stressful time for him so I didn’t want to bring up trivial things that would only bother him.

            “I’ve kept you here working, the least I can do is listen to what you have to say” he sounded a little deflated as he spoke, like he’d known this was coming, but I didn’t know what it was he expected me to say.

            “I feel really bad about what happened at the other night” I began and he handed me a mug before pulling a chair out for me to sit at.

            “You don’t have to feel bad, you were right about it not being my business” his voice sounded heavy, like he had to force the words to come out.

            “I just have a question to ask you” I hadn’t sipped any of my coffee because I oddly wasn’t in the mood for my favorite beverage, but he drank his quickly so I continued instead of waiting for a response. “Why are you so against Luhan?”

            “Hmmm?” the sound resonated in his cup before he set it down, it was nearly empty. “Against him? We’ve worked together for a long time; I don’t quite agree with some of the things he’s done or said but I’m usually very professional about it” his face turned a little red when he saw me looking at him through narrow eyes, wanting to call bull. “My recent behavior” he added, “I guess you could say it’s like we’re competing, and I don’t want to lose to him”

            “What exactly are you competing for?”

            I knocked on the door and it was followed by a smooth and deep “Come in”.

            I hadn’t met with the new department head more than once or twice so I was a little nervous but I was confident in my charisma so I entered and set my things down on his desk before taking a seat. “I’ve found the photographer that will do the shoot for our section of this month’s issue”

            “You have?” he stopped whatever he was doing and folded his fingers together under his chin. “And you’ve come to bother me with this instead of your boss why?” he sounded cocky and that irritated me but I quickly got over it.

            “I went to him first and he told me to make sure you’re fine with it” I started to pull out some papers from the file I’d brought with me. “He’s a photographer we’ve never used before”         “Were none of the photographers we’ve contracted with already able to do it?” he interrupted me.

            “Well there were a few but I think they’re not really perfect for this theme” I spread out a few samples I’d found of Kim Minseok’s work to show him that he was better for the feeling we wanted.

            He picked up the one that was my favorite and looked it over. “I do agree that his style fits really well. What magazine did this come from?”

            There was the part that my boss was nervous about which was why I was sent here. “He’s actually never done a professional shoot before”

            Yifan looked up at me, a little shocked, but he also seemed intrigued. “These are good for not being professional but your department is the only department that hasn’t done their shoot yet. If it fails you won’t have time to schedule another before everyone else is ready to print”

            “I understand that and I told my boss that in the case of that happening I take full responsibility” there was a lot on the line this month, but I just knew Kim Minseok was the photographer I’d been searching for so I was ready to take the hit if my gut feeling was wrong.

            He set the photo down and leaned back in his chair, crossing his long legs as he thought about it. “I understand that your boss is about to retire and you’ve applied for his position? That would put you directly under me” I nodded to let him know that he was correct; feeling a little more nervous now that he’d brought that up. “Call this photographer and see if he’s prepared to do a professional shoot by the end of the week” I couldn’t help but smile because I was excited. “If everything goes well then I’ll be impressed” was all he added and I gathered my things before bowing in thanks and leaving so he could get back to his work.

            Talking on the phone for the first time I realized that he was very shy but was just as enthusiastic. I set up the date and we’d agreed on a location, when I met him in person I was a little overcome.

            He’s cute. I thought before telling myself to focus. I had too much on the line to be distracted by how attracted I was to the photographer.

            The shoot went so well that I was feeling like I could already celebrate. “Listen, if you're not doing anything after this I know this great place to go get drinks”

            That was how my interest started, so simple. I thought it would be easy to seduce him, just be kind and patient, but things didn’t go like I thought they would.

            He laughed like he couldn’t believe I didn’t know the answer already. “We’ve been fighting over you Minseok”

            It was my turn to blush now and I took the chance to drink some of the coffee so I could cover my face with the mug. He stopped laughing and his smile faded as he reached over and touched his hand to mine, bringing the cup back down so he could see only making me light up even more. “I’ve been waiting for you to realize my feelings for you,” he sighed and retracted his hand. “but then you and Luhan got close and I just got jealous. Then you said you were glad I was such a good friend and I knew that you were never going to think of me as anything more than just a good friend”

            Luhan was right. It wasn’t like I hadn’t realized Jongdae had some feelings for me, I just tried to deny it. I suddenly stopped and asked myself why; why did I deny him?

            It wasn’t like I was completely against Jongdae. I cared a lot about him because he’d done so many things for me, and then I saw how self-centered that was. I liked Jongdae because he’d given me a job, because he put my name out there, because he was nice, but I never once did anything for him in return.

            I hadn’t changed at all, the privileged life I’d grown up in had made me selfish and despite trying to change I’d only hurt someone in the process. Jongdae deserved more from me. “I-” Jongdae had been patiently waiting for me to find something to say but I just couldn’t.

            “It’s okay. You don’t have to apologies or anything, I just felt like it was time I told you myself that I like you Minseok” my chest swelled making it impossible for me to speak now. He looked down into his cup and got up to make himself some more coffee but I caught his hand because he couldn’t leave until I found something, anything to say.

            “How can I make it up to you?” I had to make this right at any cost.

            “There’s nothing to make up. Either you return my feelings or you don’t, that’s it”

            “Return your feelings. How?” Back when I was a teenager I confessed to a girl I’d liked and she’d agreed to go out with me just because I had money to take her to expensive places, but I’d never been the one confessed to so I had no idea what to do.

            “Like… kissing?” Jongdae was shy about saying it, he invited the idea so that I could either pick it up or leave it, unlike Luhan who would just push me down.

            I stood up, still holding onto his hand, and his eyes widened in disbelief. I couldn’t bring myself to go all the way so I closed my eyes and waited for him to fill the space. I flinched when his fingertips brushed against my cheek and peeked because he was taking a long time. His eyes were dark from working so long and his lips looked a little chapped but I didn’t lean away as he finally pressed them against mine.

            It was weird at first, like if Yixing had asked me to kiss him or something, but when Jongdae held me closer, so close that I felt like I could feel his heart rate quickening through his lips I knew that it was very different than kissing a close friend. Jongdae had never thought about me as a friend, he’d always had these feelings for me and I just acted like I didn’t know about it.

            Keeping it in must have been hard for him, I could tell by the way he kissed me. He wanted to deepen it but pulled away because he was still unsure. “Somethings not right. Can I try again?”

            I nodded and we kissed again, this time he let himself get carried away.

*sorry if this chapter is awkward or has more mistakes than I usually make, because my friends have already pointed out plently of typos (whos not perfect? me) I didn't really proof read this haha... Putting out two updates this week because next week I'm going to be on vacation so yeah. All I'm gonig to say is I love hearing about what you think of these characters, even if you think you know who minseok will end up with please continue to read because I'd say I'm only about halfway through with this story. Let me know if you lilked the Kaisoo extra because I'm thinking about maybe some Baekyeol next? Thank you so much to everyone who has subscribed, upvoted, commented, stay cool!*