The alarm bell rings and I stand up from my desk. The clocks read 6:30am and I yawn. I wake up so damn early for this. 9am-5pm. Ha. More like 5am-10pm.

I start to walk to the cells to grab the next victim. Dying once you wake up, it’s a cruel world.

The doors to the cell open once I put my badge to the pad and I walked.

I was walking towards cell 260 when I stopped in front of cell 253. The inmates in that cell, for the third time I know of, were sleeping in the same bunk. I laughed to myself. Being deprived of females can make your hormones go crazy, I know. You just need someone then.

I finally made it to cell 260 and shook the inmate on the bottom bunk awake. He turned over to face me and rubbed his eyes. It was…well…cute.

I shook the thought from my head when the inmate opened his eyes. “Officer Lee (Howon), do you need something.”

“Yeah, you actually. It’s your turn.”

He nodded and stood up.

I walked out of the cell and he followed me. We walked, once again, down the corridor to the room on the right. I entered the room and held the door open for him. I loaded the gun and picked the bullets off the table. I looked at my watch and realized I realized I was 15 minutes early. Great, just great.

The inmate picked up the gun and looked at it.

“Jang, don’t play with the gun. You may waste a click.”

“Don’t worry, I held this type of gun before. In and out of jail, it’s my favorite. The gun has a great speed that makes the bullets shoot out like rockets. Easy kill.” He pointed the gun as if he would shoot it towards the wall. He put his hand on the trigger and mouthed a pow! Nine times.

“The gun went off six times. They I reloaded and it went off another three. Then I was satisfied.” He said that with a smile.

I was confused. “What are you talking about, Jang?”

He ed his uniform to show his chest. “See this tattoo? It’s a gang sign. I was the leader of this gang.”

I recognized that tattoo. It was of the gang Infinite Lives. The tattoo showed an infinite sign made by chains with a heart in the middle. A black heart.

He set the gun down and buttoned his shirt back up. He leaned his chair back and put his arms behind his head while looking at the ceiling. “I wonder what happened to them.”

I was still confused though. I heard though with the departure of their leader, Infinite Lives has been on the low. Then I remembered something.

“Jang, is your sister Jang Hye Mi?”

He laughed. “Yeah, she is.”

Oh, that explains it. That’s what he meant. “Jang, you actually are a good brother.”

“I know. The judge didn’t think that though.” He laughed once again. If you didn’t know and I told you he was a gang leader, you would laugh in my face.

“They thought they would get away with it. Bastards saw it coming too. She came with blood everywhere and scrapes, telling me they her. Tried to kill her too but…it didn’t work. I lost it. I called my boys and we went after them. I killed the leader and eight more. Then ran away. But they found me and I was sentenced here.”

“Ah, yeah.” At that, the door opened and in walked the other inmate with Officer Kim. Officer Kim sat down beside and motioned for me to start.

“5 clicks. 1 bullet. Jang, you first.”

He picked up the gun and put it to his head. A creepy smile formed on his face. Click.

He pushed the gun to the other end of the table and the inmate placed the gun to his head. Click.

Once again the gun was at Dongwoo’s end of the table and he put the gun to his head. Click. His smile only got bigger.

The inmate reached to the gun and put it to his head. I looked to Dongwoo and saw him mouthing something. Something numbers. Something like three…two…pow!

My head whipped around to see the other inmate slumped over with the gun on the table covered in blood. At that, Dongwoo burst into a hysterical laugh while clapping his hands, as if death was a hilarious thing.

Once he was finished, he stood up. “Officers, I’ll leave now.” I just nodded to him and he walked out.

I picked up my gun and wiped it off. Officer Kim walked out and I called the doctors to come get the body. When they arrived, I walked out.

I woke up to find Seungyeol face across from mine, his leg resting on my hip. This has been a regular thing now. Ever since Seungyeol said he couldn’t sleep in his bunk, he has been in mine. He would keep making excuses but now it was just an instinct. A regular thing.

Seungyeol would usually wake up before me because he was a light sleeper. Once the bell went off, he was up and shaking me awake. But today the bell went off and he was still asleep. I was trying to find out how to get out from under him without waking him when I heard a murmur. A soft sound that I could barely make out.

“Myungsoo…” I heard and it was my name. I didn’t know if he awake so I answered.

“Yeah, what. Are you awake?” No answer. I waved my hand in front of his face and he didn’t move.

I slowly scooted over a bit so I could hopefully roll out of bed but Seungyeol scooted with me and his leg became snugger around my hip. My legs were now trapped too. His arms were all over the place. One was across my chest. Is this what it’s like to sleep with him? I’m finding out today.

Why is he so lanky… I thought to myself. I slowly tried to move his arm off my chest only to have him move it so it lay on my stomach. It was very close to a…a special area.

At this point I was giving up. I was contemplating whether I should go back to sleep or complete my mission when I heard a groan. Or was it a moan? I’m not sure but Seungyeol’s eyes were shut tightly. I was about to just go back to sleep when Seungyeol grunted and rolled onto me. His hair in my eyes, his hands on my chest and his knee in that…special area.

“OOWW!” I yelled out as I rolled off the bunk onto the hard cement floor with Seungyeol falling on top of me. My back hit the floor and I let out another shriek. 

As I yelled out, Seungyeol immediately woke up and crawled off me. In the process, he stepped on my hand. Here comes another yell.

He helped me up and apologized.

“It’s okay. Let’s go eat breakfast before it gets too late.”

He agreed. We walked off and I walked with a slight limp. It really hurt.

Halfway there, I was stopped by Officer Lee.

“Sungjong, hey.” I said with the wave of my hand.

“Myungsoo, It’s your turn.”

I was walking off when Seungyeol called out my name.

“Myungsoo! Don’t…die okay?”

I smiled and expected to say the same thing I always say. But instead, something else came out. Something I never thought I would say.

“I won’t okay?” I didn’t realize it until Seungyeol smiled and ran off to the caferteria.

I stood in shock and Sungjong did too. “What was that?”

I couldn’t answer. What was this? I ask myself also, what was that?

We arrived at the room and I sat down. As Sungjong loaded the gun, I felt weird. I felt something almost like fear. As if I didn’t want to die.

What…is this? I thought to myself as the door opening with the creaking knocking me out of my thoughts. The other inmate sat down across from me and I put my hands on the cold metal table.

Sungjong cleared his throat and set the gun on the table.

“5 clicks. 1 bullet. Jung, you first.”

The inmate across from me picked up the gun and put it to his head. He held a blank expression on his face. His finger lay on the trigger and…click!

I don’t know why but I wanted him to take the bullet.

The gun slid to a stop in front of me. I was slow with picking up the gun.

I put my finger on the trigger and breathed in. I flinched when I heard a click.

 Relief washed over me.

I pushed the gun to the other side of the table and the inmate picked the gun up to his head.

Click!

The gun lay in front of me again. I picked it up slowly. Compared to the last times, the gun weighed in my hand. I didn’t want to pick it up. But I had to. I did. Click!

The gun was at the other end of the table. I only stared at the gun. It flashed at me like a neon sign, I couldn’t look away. I focused on the gun and the inmate’s fingers.

Would it go off? Will I die? Shouldn’t I be happy? I…don’t know if I want to die. Why am I like this now? What is happening? 

Bam! I looked away and the smell of blood was almost suffocating. I clamped a hand over my mouth and gagged. Sungjong looked at me with worry.

“Myungsoo, are you okay?” I didn’t answer. I was still trying to hold in my throw up. Sungjong took me to the bathroom and I threw up. I threw up from blood. I’ve smelt it every week for 3 years and I throw up from it now.

“Sungjong, I’m fine now.” I said and ran out of the bathroom to my cell. I needed to talk to him right now. It can’t wait.

I ran to my cell and looked in it. Seungyeol was sitting on the bed playing with his uniform and looked up when I arrived.

“Myungsoo.” He said with a gummy smile. “I didn’t know where you were, I thought you might’ve…you know.”

“Seungyeol.”

“What?”

The bell rang and the doors to the cells were starting to close.

“Seungyeol.” He answered again with a what.

I heard the doors to the cells shut close.

I stepped forward and pushed him against the wall.

“What? Myungsoo, are you okay?”

I was still panting from running here.

“You did something. I don’t know what but it’s something.”

“What do you mean?”

“I want to live. And I think you are the reason.”