I never realized how much I hated the sight of blood. I guess it also mattered that it was Sehun’s and not some random person. It would have made a huge difference if it were a random person because there wasn’t any care for a stranger as there was for how I loved Sehun. As heartless as that may sound from anyone else’s point of view, that was just how much I really cared for him.

Things became so blurry that there were only pieces that I remembered of what happened after the whole…incident. We waited until nighttime to move Sehun’s unconscious but still breathing body back to his apartment. Myungsoo restrained a very furious and hysterical Jongin once we arrived back, and things were vaguely explained to him before Woohyun made him leave.

And then came the talk. The “big-brother-I’m-trusting-you-with-this” talk. It was a big step between Woohyun and I; nothing like this had ever happened before and unknown to my knowledge there was a specific way we handled situations like this.

Woohyun emphasized now that I have marked, in other words, claimed, Sehun it was important that I stayed with him until he woke. Otherwise, we’d both be hurt and Sehun wouldn’t heal quickly either. Until Sehun woke up, Woohyun told me to I’d have to live at his apartment.

And that right there was something that terrified me. “Until” he woke up could mean the time frame in which he’d do so either be a short amount of time or a very long time. All that time I would completely alone to sit on what I had just done. I did not and have never taken murder lightly.

I promise myself I’d never kill and yet the lining in my mouth still tasted like blood. The scene, the sounds, the looks of terror all replayed through my head like some kind of horror movie, only it was my horrific reality. Murder was wrong and there was no question in my mind that I could suddenly have the title of a murderer had anyone given it to me.

If that happened, I knew I’d deserve everything they threw at me. After all, I was the bad guy now. I ruined a relationship and killed the ex-girlfriend. I was afraid to ask myself how it could get any worse than that.

I watched over him every single night hoping that he’d wake up like none of it happened. The actual scars from the wound healed in two days. However, the stress of a transformation on a human body can sometimes be too much and put him at greater risk as well. Part of me feared his consciousness, and as always, my mind wandered to the inevitable “what if” because I murdered his ex and only girlfriend.

Sehun said before that he thought we were monsters and I had just proven that very statement. A monster was created in me the moment I killed for the first time. I hoped that it would never happen ever again.

Woohyun told me I had to meet with Sunggyu as well as a member of the werewolf council because this happened. In attempts to make me feel better, Woohyun said it was a security precaution, just like when my blood had to be drawn when I lost control of my emotions.

The attempts failed because I could only focus on the fact that this has happened all because of what I did. It could have been prevented. I didn’t know when that was going to happen, but Woohyun promised to make sure it was after Sehun woke up.

I struggled every passing second that he wasn’t awake. When all you can do is stare at a potentially dying person, it doesn’t exactly keep your spirits up, especially when you start to blame yourself. I wanted so badly for Sehun to wake up and tell me everything was going to be okay.

But I knew at the same time that if he did wake up, I’d have to face whatever reaction Sehun had to the events that took place. Now, everything scared me. Before, nothing scared me.

My current issue was a particular best friend who wasn’t the biggest fan of me for kicking him out of Sehun’s place. He was demanding to be let in only hours after my brother and cousin left. And I had to tell him everything.

Telling Jongin everything felt both strange and a little relieving at the same time. For one, it was a completely different set up with how I told Jongin versus Sehun. With Sehun, it was rather unexpected and pretty much only done because I had. Sehun had figured most of it out by the time I actually told him.

Whereas with Jongin, it was mostly willingness on my part. Sure he did as any friend would after seeing his best friend covered in blood, he freaked. But I honestly could have avoided telling Jongin and lied. The thing was, I wanted to tell Jongin.

We weren’t terribly close or anything but Jongin was like the middleman between the relationship I had with Sehun and he did give good advice to me. Having a person who knew what I was and who knew my relationship with Sehun just meant I could have someone to rely on as just a friend.

Jongin didn’t understand at first, not that I really expected him to. It took a while for him to fully understand that I was a werewolf, Sera was a vampire, and now Sehun would be a werewolf. Even with a small demonstration, he still didn’t have much of a reaction.

It might have been his way of taking things in but he kind of just shrugged and said he didn’t really mind nor care if we were different. I mean, non-judgment was appreciated; I had just expected more out of him. That was only a week ago that I had discussed things with him.

I wanted more time to be alone with Sehun, but apparently it was wishful thinking on my part when Seyoung unlocked Sehun’s apartment and came inside. It was an awkward staring contest between the two of us, myself being in a defensive state after how we met last time.

Without saying a word, Seyoung walked down the hallway with heavy steps into Sehun’s bedroom, and then moments later came back out and sat down on the couch looking very displeased with me. He pointed to a spot on the adjacent couch, practically commanding me to sit down.

I sat on the other side, defiant to him and sitting in my normal spot. Seyoung folded his arms and stared at me in such a manner I knew in his mind I was in a lot of trouble. He didn’t like that I was here, I knew that much just by the way he was looking at me all glaring and such.

He looked stressed and incredibly tired at the same time. I could feel how much he wanted to be here though, and he made it so obvious. Surprisingly to me, I felt a certain amount of care coming from him.

He decided to speak first. “This is because of Sera, isn’t it?”

I blinked. I blinked again and left the air sink as it became heavier and heavier. “Excuse me?”

He casually asked me, “You didn’t know?”

“You did?!” It sounded like this was knowledge he hadn’t just recently found out.

Seyoung rubbed his eyes and let out a heavy breath, something that I had seen Sehun do exactly the same so many times before. Interesting that they were so alike in mannerisms yet so completely different in personalities.

He kind of just raised his hand nonchalantly and shrugged his shoulders. “We knew the moment he started dating her.”

It was hard to even swallow what I was hearing. I could only assume “we” meant he and his parents, and they knew for four years that Sera was a vampire. Four whole years of a family member potentially in danger and there was nothing done to stop it.

Here was where the struggle came in. I killed once, and the anger that I felt during that time was starting to come back again knowing that someone knowingly put Sehun in danger. Seyoung being a part of this made it all worse, and he was right in front of me. Although I couldn’t see my eyes flashing a different color, it must have happened within seconds as Seyoung reached for something on his belt; it was most likely a gun.

“Explain. Now!” Who was right to be mad in this situation? Was I right to be mad at the one who could have prevented this situation, or was he right to be mad at me for being involved with Sehun? Or did it even matter at this point? All I knew was that I yelled at Seyoung and I wasn’t going to back down.

He couldn’t have looked guiltier if he had tried. There was something that was off about this whole situation just by the very thought that Seyoung actually felt guilty. “I promise, I’ll explain everything.”

Prior knowledge led me to believe there was no actual care Seyoung gave for Sehun and I probably couldn’t have been more wrong. He was exactly how Woohyun used to be, and Sehun was acting the same way I was. In either case, both sides were just stupid. Yet, I couldn’t help being angry when Seyoung started telling his side of this whole story.

“My parents knew before I did, they could tell right away when we met Sera that she was a vampire. I only just started training, I had no power to tell them not to make him leave.”

In other words, their parents kicked him out because they found out he was dating a vampire. He wasn’t even old enough to know his family profession and they decided not to tell him anything and kick him out instead.

“So, in this case, your parents chose to protect you and themselves over protecting Sehun? That’s bull!”

Yelling did no good for me. Seyoung blew up as well, even more so than I did. “You think I don’t know that?! I’m fully aware of the selfishness and favoritism my parents chose!” He pulled up his shirt to reveal very well sculpted abs…and along that a scar running vertically along his stomach to his ribs. “You think I’m the bad guy here. This…this proves that I’m not!”

The scar was an oath bound to Seyoung by his parents swearing him into secrecy. This was how intense and awful a hunter’s life was. It wasn’t just one scar either, although I’m sure the biggest one was the secret about Sehun and Sera’s relationship. There were smaller yet permanent scars all over his body.

Seyoung tried to convince me that his parents were the real enemies here, not himself. I would believe that to an extent, but because our first impressions were so horrible, there was only so much I could think about him in a positive way.

“Had he ever invited her here?”

I shook my head, not to my knowledge. The only people who have been in his apartment were Jongin, me, and now his brother. Seyoung scoffed and shook his head in disbelief. “He actually listened.”

Seyoung told me that when Sehun started dating Sera, he didn’t want Sehun bringing her anywhere near his home. Hearing that made me just as surprised as Seyoung was about the whole thing. Considering how much Sehun seemed to hate his brother, the warnings were acknowledged…?

We sat in another uncomfortable silence for a few minutes. I ran through the thoughts again in my head just to try and clarify all of the information that had just been thrown at me. Sehun’s parents kicked him out of his own house because he unknowingly started dating a vampire. I thought my family was complicated, but now I realized that Sehun’s might have been just as bad if not worse.

I didn’t have to tell Seyoung what I had done to/for Sehun. If Seyoung were able to tell what I was at a single glance, knowing that Sehun was a werewolf as well was probably really easy for him. It was just a matter of gratitude that was lacking, though I felt like I shouldn’t expect too much from him. I did technically save Sehun’s life though.

Seyoung stayed longer than I had imagined him to. We didn’t really talk about anything but at least there was some sort of tolerance between us that made it kind of comfortable with each other. It was still close enough to being alone in my own mind that my thoughts dangerously repeated themselves once again.

The more I thought about it the more I realized the only person I even knew at all to talk about this whole act of murder was Seyoung. Looking at his eyes alone, I could tell there was emptiness about them. He was a hunter that didn’t hesitate, which could only make me believe that he has murdered too, and more than once.

All I could do was stare at him and lose more courage every passing second, as I waited longer the harder it became. It felt like I would be admitting my greatest failure to someone for the first time. Having to actually say I murdered someone scared the hell out of me.

Seyoung finally looked at me after realizing that I had been staring. “What?”

“How did you get over your first kill?”

He bit down on his lip and hung his head low. At least I knew he felt shameful about it. We were in the same boat. He shook his head, “I didn’t.”

There was something I didn’t expect nor did I want to hear. Either Seyoung meant he struggles with the past event, or he meant something else entirely. “Look I know we aren’t meant to get along, but now that you and my brother are…together now…I’ll try.”

Seyoung didn’t promise to me that we’d ever actually get along. He did tell me that he’d try for his brother, hand in hand, that included me as well. Giving me advice about something he knew and did was the least he could do for me.

“You can’t get over killing someone. It’s not possible and it will only drive you insane if you try. I know it’s hard for people like us, but…you have to remember to put yourself first. In a life-threatening situation, there is only so much to be done.”

I don’t think Seyoung was telling me to justify why I murdered, or at least that what I was thinking of. Even though he didn’t know the entire situation, he knew that I was protecting myself. That was his main point, I think. I have to put myself first in those kinds of situations, otherwise I might as well just let myself get hurt or killed.

It was tough to think about, especially since no one has told me something like that before. I never put myself first, and before I had Sehun, I never had anyone to put in front of me. The whole aspect of feeling important wasn’t what I was used to or had experienced before. I didn’t put in any consideration like that before but now that it was said to me it made me think there was some truth in there.

Dumbing it down to facts, I did my best to protect myself when Sera decided she wanted to kill Sehun. The ultimate decision on my part to kill her…was an instinct to protect. Seyoung just meant that instinct came from a place to protect myself as well, and he wanted me to know there was nothing wrong with that.

Seyoung stood up and grabbed his things. “I need to go before he wakes up. It’s…for the best.”

I nodded and watched him head to the front door. Before he left he turned around at me and gave me a sincere look on his face. “Thank you for saving my brother. I’m sorry.”

With that he opened the door and walked out, leaving me alone in Sehun’s apartment. So he was grateful after all. We may have gotten off on the wrong foot but I didn’t think that calling Seyoung a “bad guy” was necessary anymore. Maybe it was just a thing in the Oh family to have terrible first impressions. Both Seyoung and Sehun were difficult in their own ways however, maybe the older brother would warm up to me one day.

After all, he could have just told me off about how terrible of a person I was. Instead he told me that I needed to feel important and someone telling me that can only be appreciated.

Jongin came hours after Seyoung left to bring me food from his sister’s café. Seyoung didn’t seem like the kind of man who cooks because his fridge was mostly filled with instant meals or left overs from restaurants. Since I can’t cook nor do I do any of the cooking at my own house, I always had to go out. Jongin knew this, and thankfully brought me dinner that night.

What I told him about myself and Sehun must have clicked in his head because as soon as we started eating he asked me a lot of questions, just like Sehun did. He wasn’t scared, he was interested. He asked me about the stereotypical myths like about the full moon and I was gladly able to put those common lies to rest for him.

And with that, I was so glad I finally had someone I could fully vent to about my real relationship with Sehun. I trusted Jongin enough with advice and he was good at it, which made it all the better.

So I vented. I vented about how difficult it was to find a difference between being mates and Sehun being my unofficial boyfriend. I vented about how I wanted both, how I was discouraged when Sehun hadn’t mentioned anything about the couple norm title. I spilled everything I had on my mind about how I just wanted to be in a normal relationship with Sehun and yet what we were felt far from normal.

Jongin listened to everything I had to say, but he said the same thing that he had before hand. I should tell Sehun. He told me it was the only way to get this kind of anxiety off my chest and that he’s sure Sehun would want to make me his girlfriend if I said it.

We moved on from that topic. Jongin told me his advice would only help me so much, and since Sehun was still unconscious not much could be done. All that he had left to say was for me not to worry about it and that things will come together in the end.

“So you know how the whole mate thing works already right?” Jongin’s question stumped me at how out of the blue it was.

“Um…duh.” I don’t know why he asked me such a stupid question when I am in fact, a werewolf and did a whole project around it, which I’m sure he already knew.

“So…then that means you guys have…you know…done it.”

My whole body shut down. Jongin knowing what the seal meant when he really didn’t know anything astonished me. Not only that, but he just straight up asked me if I had slept with Sehun. “What?!”

“Oh, is that not really a thing?” He innocently tilted his head to the side but I knew better. He was just digging a deeper grave for himself.

“Get out.” I pointed to the door, ignoring that my body was heating up and would most likely explode if he tried to ask me anything else. What kind of person asks that question to someone who only recently became his friend?

He mumbled and grumbled as he left and I spent the next five minutes trying to calm down my racing heart. I realized something like that had to happen for Sehun and I to be fully bonded with one another. That’s just how mates worked. It becomes physically impossible for the pair of mates to be with anyone besides his or her own mate.

I tried ignoring those thoughts and made my way back into Sehun’s bedroom. I pulled his desk chair up to his bed like I had done all this week. My head was propped up on my knees, as I hugged them closer. When, when, when? These words blared in my head like some kind of alarm that couldn’t be turned off. But then there was movement.

His eyes started fluttering, and slowly they crept open. I gulped as his eyes opened fully, landing directly to me. “In hye?” He croaked. Wiping the remaining tears, I moved over to him, readying his glass of water that was waiting for him for the last week.

I brought it to his lips, and he took his hand over mine to help steady the glass. He drank the whole thing, and panted from gulping it down. I knew he wasn’t going to be weak. He was going to be much stronger than before.

Immediately he pushed himself up and pulled his tank top up, revealing no wound at all. He looked up at me confused, but I didn’t want to look back. Instead, he tugged on my wrist, pulling me in his lap.

His arms wound around my waist, pulling me close. He snuggled his head in the crook of my neck, raggedly breathing in and out. Every single touch pained my already aching heart, but hearing his cries was even worse. “God…you’re all right.” He whispered, kissing my neck over and over.

Fear entered my system. My hands wriggled up to his shoulders, and I pushed off of him. He tried holding onto my hand, whining softly because I let go. But I shook my head and started hyperventilating. My hand went over my heart, but that didn’t mean I could help the tears that fell.

“In hye?” Immediately he got out of the bed and walked toward me with open arms, but I pushed him away, shaking my head again.

“Sehun, don’t. Please don’t.” I begged.

“Tell me what’s wrong.” He tried softly, staying where he was, a few feet away from me.

“I-I’m sorry. I’m so sorry Sehun.” I barely got those few words out. The unfairness to him I couldn’t bear. I did it to him. After all this time of trying to let him make all the choices, this was exactly what I didn’t want.

“Hye, what are you talking about? Tell me.” I could hear the layer of worry behind his voice.

“I had to save you.” I whispered, bringing myself to look at his face. He was waiting for me to get it out.

“I know.” He said, keeping his composure. He didn’t quite know what I meant. “From Sera.”

I swallowed the pain away. Two things I had yet to tell him were going to tear me apart. “I-I….”

He furrowed his eyebrows, “Where…is Sera…?”

I shook my head. My whole body felt like I was going to crumble down. “I killed her.” I squeaked, his new hearing should have picked it up.

Within seconds I was enveloped in a bone-crushing hug. The warmth of his body and his familiar scent overwhelmed me. He kissed the side of my head, and my neck again, resting his head on my shoulders. “Shh…Hye…it’s ok…please don’t cry.”

It’s not ok. That wasn’t it. “Sehun…”

“Mmm?”

“I had to save your life…”

“I know.” His larges hands started rubbing my back slowly. The feeling of his hands on me calmed me down immensely, as if all the tension was released. “I know. Thank you, In Hye.”

I pushed him away again. His confused look remained on his face. I forced myself; I couldn’t keep it in any more. “I had to save your life…” He nodded at my repetitiveness. “You…you were dying. T—the only way we know how to save is to…”

He waited for me to finish, but the tears wouldn’t let me. My emotions were just too great to even speak a complete sentence. His hands gently wiped everything away. “I know.”

My eyes shot up to him, but closed as he gently pressed his lips against mine. It was short and sweet, which I didn’t think was possible from him. “I was still conscious…I heard everything…I…I know.” His hand wrapped around my waist again and pulled me even closer. “You did what you had to.”

“But you—“

“I’m like you now, In Hye. Sure, it’s…something I’ll have to get used to. There’s nothing wrong with that.” He kissed my nose, and my cheek, letting his lips linger on each place. He placed his forehead gently on mine, slightly curling up his lips. It was the sweetest smile I had ever seen on him, and he was giving it to me. “I’m your mate. And you are mine, right?”

I nodded, tugging slightly on his shoulders. He complied, molding his lips with mine. At first it was slow, he was making sure to tell me through his kiss. I wrapped my hands around his neck, standing up on my toes. I pulled away from him, slightly weak from the lack of air. He nipped my lips one more time.

“I love you, In Hye.” A single tear escaped him. “Tell me what I have to do. Tell me how we become mated.”

How we become mated. There was only way I could describe the need I had for Sehun and it wasn’t just a physical desire of my wolf self, it was a pleasure for my entire being. Sehun pulled me closer to him and rested his hands delicately on my lower hips, barely touching my . Rationale left, and all I wanted was to be touched by him.

I put my hands on either side of his neck, pressing his face against mine and lips locking once again. “Don’t stop.” 

Hey look! Wi-Fi at work!! 

Just to clarify right now: No I will not be writing a chapter nor in the future will there be in this fic. Leave it up to your imagination I guess but yes, they did seal the bond. 

In other words last week was my first week on the job and it's going to be a long, draining summer. I had a pretty horrible week but I got some stress relief writing this chapter. I am able to write in my free times during the week so hopefully I'll be able to do that and then upload most likely on my days off on Sundays! \^.^/