You know you can really start to understand a person when they get into certain moods. Although Sehun had changed from this sullen brat to the happier person he is now, for some reason he’d still get into these moods. I hadn’t noticed at first, but recently I found myself catching him either staring off into space or staring at me. The latter freaked me out, and him zoning out worried me.

I did like giving him advice, or at least that he would come to me asking for something, but he went back to a fearful self. I only tried asking him once, and he masked it so easily that I was afraid that he didn’t want to talk to me about whatever problem he was having. The general idea that Sehun wasn’t feeling his normal self was making me have a bad feeling. It made me feel like he was going to do something irrational.

It had been about three days since we went out and explored the forest, being that the heat was becoming unbearable for Sehun he’d rather “chill inside,” as he put it. I was rather grateful that his initial obsession had died down. It also warmed my heart a little that he changed to just wanting to spend time together instead.

Even though the air was clearing between me and my brother, it wasn’t enough to let Sehun come to our house all the time. If I wasn’t spending time with Sehun out in the forest, I was spending time in his apartment, just the two of us.

I knew I shouldn’t have felt the way I did, but I felt a bit special because of that. I couldn’t really recall one single conversation that we had, because when we actually sat down it was about anything. Sometimes it would be about Sehun convincing me to try a food that he liked to cook, when in actuality he had no sense of the skill whatsoever.

Other times, I’d tell him about experiences that I have had while I was a wolf, or he’d ask me specifics like how does it feel to be covered in fur. It varied, and we’d always wonder how we ended up talking about one thing by the end of our conversation.

I realized there was one thing that I could admit I loved about Sehun, his laugh. That also varied, and so far I haven’t picked a favorite. Just the idea of me making him laugh was enough. A lot of people are sarcastic, but there are definitely different kinds. I guess you could say that Sehun and I both have a playful sarcasm, or at least we’ve grown into one. We can joke around easily and then laugh at it. The comfort level drastically changed as we began to become even closer than before. He went from friend to really good friend in a span of a couple months.

I had gotten used to the idea that we’d be alone much too quickly. I never hear Sehun talking about hanging out with his friends anymore, so they were put in the back of my mind like they didn’t exist.

Today was supposed to be one of the days that we were going to hang out, but I guess Sehun forgot to tell me something rather important. Sehun and I had a trade off on who would buy bubble tea. Today happened to be my turn, and wasn’t told to buy a third drink for his best friend.

“Oh, In Hye. What’s up?”

Jongin was waiting outside of Sehun’s apartment, with a beaming model-like smile on his face. During school, Jongin would kindly greet me if he saw me on campus, but I had never actually gotten to know the guy. From the few mentions from Sehun, all I knew was this guy could dance.

Jongin was waiting outside, but no one was coming. I was already told by Sehun to come in myself, so I set the drinks off to the side and got the spare key out of it’s hiding place. Jongin raised a suspicious eyebrow at me. I wasn’t too surprised since this was a rather complicated situation. Jongin was Sehun’s best friend and he had never been over to his apartment before. And then me, Nam In Hye, Sehun’s new friend who knew where his spare key was. Hopefully Jongin didn’t think anything weird of that.

I still didn’t know the reason why Sehun was so touchy about letting people into his apartment, but it was actually a bit of relief to see that he was opening up more. I was afraid that he was going to lose all of his friends because of me, and I didn’t want to cause Sehun anymore trouble than I already have.

I unlocked the door and grabbed the drinks, Jongin waiting for me to go inside. As soon as he stepped inside I watched Sehun light up. He was always like that with Jongin, he told me a while back that they had been best friends since their freshman year of high school. By the change in the atmosphere, that was evident enough. Plus, Jongin was the only friend of Sehun’s that I had actually liked prior to meeting.

The only thing that was rather bothersome was that Jongin sat in my spot, the only place on the couch where I claimed. It all happened so quickly, I handed Sehun his drink and was about to sit down, but the golden brown eye candy beat me to it. I grumbled at sat down on the other side of the couch, farther away from Sehun who gave me a sympathy smile.

The nice thing about Jongin was that I could immediately tell how sincere of a person he was. He didn’t make awkward conversation and the things that he would ask me were pretty easy questions; just those types of questions one asks when they get to know a person.

I told him about photography, he told me about dance, the two of us had very strong passions for our respective interests. Every once and a while, I’d see Sehun smiling at me or at Jongin, and that was kind of when it hit me. He was totally doing this on purpose.

For about an hour straight, Sehun would just sit quietly and listen as we were talking, occasionally speaking when Jongin remembered something funny or stupid. Sehun wanted me to get along with one of his friends, and he probably picked the best one for me to befriend. Putting Jongin’s kindness aside, he was another person that saw past the mistakes Sehun had made long ago.

Whenever Jongin brought up the past, it was a memory that was silly, not relating to school or his relationship, but just a genuine time that Jongin and Sehun enjoyed each other’s company. It made me think that Sehun was really lucky to have this kind of friend in his life, because he stuck by him no matter what, and he continued to challenge Sehun’s patience.

It threw me off, more than any other times that Sehun had acted out of his personality. I wasn’t exactly keen on opening up my heart so easily to another person, even though I should have been willing. But there was a line. And Sehun and I both knew that Jongin crossed it.

“So In Hye, you’ve never dated anyone right?” It might have been the most random question Jongin could have come up with. And Sehun didn’t exactly look too happy with his best friend. This time I could actually see where Myungsoo was coming from; it was jealousy.

I didn’t answer, I didn’t want to. All I could do was give him a funny look, an expressive cue for him to never ask me something like that so impersonally. Sehun quickly diverted the topic and ignored it altogether, saying that it was almost time for me to get going. Ever since I got injured, Sehun has made sure that I get home before dark and on time for my curfew. I think he would have been perfectly fine if I had gone by myself and he spent more time with Jongin, but the Mr. Talks-a-lot had in.

“I’ll walk you home, In Hye. I think we live near each other.” Jongin smiled casually and stood up, eyeing his best friend. Some sort of man-stare communication was going on that I really wasn’t understanding, but Sehun pouted off and said his goodbyes to both of us.

Jongin kept the chitchat going as we walked, really useless small talk. Despite my wariness towards him, I gave it a chance and opened up to someone new. Mainly because I have a problem just letting things go especially when they bother me.

I felt comfortable enough around Jongin, and I was away from Sehun which meant I could pretty much ask him anything I wanted to without the constant looks of disapproval. Besides, Jongin already seemed comfortable enough around me.

“Didn’t you already know that I’ve ever dated anyone?”

They were seriously best friends if I was able to recognize they had the same attributes. Jongin was smug just like Sehun, hands in his pockets and using his height and good looks to his advantage. He chuckled softly and looked ahead of him, “Of course I did.”

“Then…why did you ask?” My tone wasn’t as amused as Jongin’s, seeing that he was definitely toying with me.

He laughed along, as if I was just being funny. “To get a reaction out of Sehun. Don’t worry, it wasn’t to put you down or anything. Just…testing a theory.”

Even though I wanted to know what kind of reaction Jongin was looking for, it seemed like there was something more going on in his devious little head that I probably didn’t have the privilege of knowing. We chatted a little longer before I realized that Jongin literally lived a few houses over from mine and I had never actually seen him on our street.

He asked me again about the dating when we stopped in front of my house, what I thought of it. I didn’t know the answer he wanted, but I could only give him honesty. “If given the chance to care for someone…I would.”

He nodded, liking what I gave him. He looked down towards the direction of his house. “God, I can’t believe he’s actually going to do it.”

I had no reaction to the vagueness of his words. “What? Who?”

“Sehun.” Jongin answered back, as if I should know. I held up both of my arms and shrugged, still confused. Ambiguity wasn’t a quality that Jongin should keep. “Oh, that’s right he didn’t tell you, did he? Eh, might as well since he’s doing it tomorrow.”

I think Sehun might have gotten his strange muttering habits from Jongin, or at least the nonsensical part of how he verbally spoke. I used every single expression I could to show Jongin just how lost I really was.

“Sorry, I babble sometimes. He’s breaking up with Sera tomorrow.”

“WHAT?!” Casual. So casual. As if the past four years of their relationship was just a couple months of not working out. I began to panic. What made Sehun decide to actually break up with her rather than work things out before? I thought they were happy; every time I saw them together before I met Sehun he was always shining brightly when he was with her.

Before I met Sehun it was different. Then…was it my fault? I didn’t want to ruin his relationship with her. They fought because of me, didn’t speak because of me. It's my doing...

“Whatever you’re thinking right now, stop. I convinced Sehun to do it, and he didn’t tell you because he thought you were going to blame yourself. Which…clearly you are.”

“You’re not a mind reader, Jongin.” I hissed.

“I’m right, though.” He folded his arms and looked at me, not exactly happy and a little disapproving. He unfolded his arms and put his hand on my shoulder, patting it twice. “Don’t worry. Uh, here give me your phone. Sehun said you had one now.”

I handed him my phone, but it wasn’t like I really cared about that at this point. He put his own number in and told me to text him all of the details when it happens. None of it was real to me, and it wasn’t even like I was a party that should have been involved.

Sehun was planning to break up with Sera. Some part of that had to be my fault. I mindlessly walked up to my room and locked the door behind me. It was one of the first times that I really didn’t want to be disturbed. I barely had a moment to think before I heard a chime coming from my phone.

I have a few errands to do tomorrow. Come around 12.

By errands I assumed he meant going to break up with Sera. The only thing old Sehun had left was his girlfriend. I didn’t know what to make of that. Sehun had made a complete turn around because of me. My mind had been repeating that same thought over and over again but I couldn’t help but think that way.

I distracted myself in all ways possible. Instead of responding to Sehun’s text, I went downstairs and asked if Myungsoo needed any help with dinner or awkwardly try to watch the TV with Woohyun, which he easily caught on as a way to distract myself. I forced myself not to feel anything whatsoever. I put my feelings for Sehun aside and ignored them completely. Besides, at this point, it was hard to understand what they were exactly.

Evidently there was no dream for me that night, just an utter darkness that was taking over my mind. I would have assumed it had to do with the break up, but it felt like something else. As always, it felt like something more was going on than I actually realized.

If Sehun thought it was a good idea to have me there after he broke up with her, then I had to oblige. I went at exactly the time he instructed, and took my spot on the couch. Jongin wasn’t there to take it this time.

I expected around ten minutes of waiting, but I was off by about an hour and fifty minutes. I took the liberty of cleaning up his apartment during the time I was waiting. It was unusual to find a mess at his place, but he had papers scattered all over the place, take out containers lying around and a pile of dishes left in the sink. More distractions than I needed.

Turns out cleaning only took an hour of my time. I sat back on the couch thinking that more time meant something had gone wrong. Maybe they were just fighting again, or she was trying to convince him to rethink about their separation. Either way, I thought there was no hope for me in this.

A chime came from my phone, and I got a little too excited when I grabbed it because it was just Jongin.

How is it going?

Before I could answer, I heard the front door. The door burst open and in a flash someone, though I already knew by the scent, enveloped me into a bone-smashing hug. His hair tickled the sides of my neck, but he buried himself into that very crook as if his life depended on it. His whole body was shaking, despite my body heat, he felt a million times hotter.

“Sehun?”

“She cheated on me, In Hye.” His faint voice was so broken, that I felt my own heart shattering. He pulled back and rubbed at his eyes. I didn’t think Sehun could be this emotional, but something tugged at my heart knowing he came to me first; in tears, no less. The rims of his eyes were red and puffy, but he still looked at me like a sad puppy.

“A-are you sure? I don’t think Sera would-“

“She did! I know it was her.” He slumped down on the couch face first; grabbing whatever pillow was in his reach and curled up into a ball. “I know it was her. I could tell if my own girlfriend was-“

His voice failed him as he fumbled over getting it out. I sat down on the floor next to him and poked his head. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”

“N-no…if I say it out loud…it might help.”

“Ok.” I whispered to him.

“We were supposed to meet behind the bubble tea shop, but…she…I don’t even know who the guy was, just that she seemed so interested in on his neck. I—I ran away after I saw.” He grabbed the pillow and covered his face, groaning into it.

I scrunched up my face, too many details for me to hear. Besides, the whole idea of someone on someone else’s neck reminds me of something else, much more disgusting.

I was completely speechless, he was planning on breaking up with her anyways, but this was probably the complete opposite of what he had in mind. But…what makes this different?

Sehun rolled around restlessly on the couch without saying any words at all. I sat on the ground and stared at him, but Sehun kept his eyes closed the whole time. It was relentless. He finally got off the couch and sat on the floor next to me, legs upright and arms resting on his legs. It changed a lot as time passed, until he got more comfortable. His comfort might have been my end.

We were sitting on the carpeted floor, backs against the couch. Sehun was resting his head on my shoulder, with his arm slightly around my waist but not quite touching. There was little I actually knew about breaking up with a loved one, and it’s all about the girls and their emotional and mental explosion because of it.

Sehun…was a mystery. He wasn’t talking or showing any signs that he was depressed. He just stared at nothing, occasionally taking a heavy sigh. I had no way of interpreting what that meant.

He only took the silence for a couple minutes before he reached for the remote and something to mindlessly watch. As much as I wanted him to talk to me, I couldn’t force him. All I could do was offer my shoulder, and he took it.

Sehun not talking was scaring me. Maybe it’s because I’ve gotten so used to him coming to me for advice that I was afraid he didn’t need it anymore. He started breathing rapidly, taking large breaths and quietly sniffling to himself. Oh Sehun was crying. Actual tears were falling down his face.

I couldn’t vividly remember when Sehun ever cried; who knows, maybe the time I was hurt, I was just imagining him crying. It did make more sense that Sehun would cry over Sera rather than me.

“In Hye, I’m a terrible person.” Sehun’s voice cracked quietly, trying to make it sound normal through the tears. I didn’t blame him, I probably would have hided the fact that I was crying as well.

I turned my head with a struggle to try and look at him, but with Sehun’s head on my shoulder it wasn’t much use. I was just shocked that he was somehow blaming himself for his girlfriend cheating.

“What?”

“I’m not…upset because she cheated. I’m upset because I feel…relieved.” He let out another heavy sigh and I could literally feel how relieved he was. He felt relieved? Why?

“You’re crying, though.” I answered back. Jongin told me Sehun didn’t want me blaming myself, but here he was doing exactly that. I didn’t want him to blame himself either. He can’t blame himself for something he didn’t do at all.

“It’s like I’ve been so stressed out about this relationship, now that it’s finally over all I can do is break down. That’s the only reason why I’m crying…I’m not sad at all. I’m a bad person because I drove her to do something like that.”

There it was. The cause and effect problem that wasn't really the real issue. If Sehun thinks he drove her to cheat, then I should be able to think that I was the reason he wanted to break up with her. I guess I could say indirectly, I kept telling him how his relationship wasn’t good for him.

That being said, I still had to ask. He was being emotional, which meant emotion was still there. “So you still love her?”

He lifted his head off my shoulder and moved so that we were sitting across from each other. He began shaking his head, and wiped the tears out of his face. “I haven’t honestly admitted I loved her…in months. It just became something that I said…mindlessly. I guess it was probably because I thought she needed to hear it.”

He was telling her he loved her out of reassurance, and I could only imagine the hurt Sera would feel if she heard that. But then again, it doesn’t justify unfaithfulness. It was the first time he spoke in about an hour of contemplating. All this time it was about self blame, something he didn’t control. And yet he blamed himself anyways.

“Sehun, you know it really had nothing to do with you, right?”

He huffed, but said nothing. He didn’t believe me when he usually does.

“Cheating…is more of a personal battle for the other person. She may have accused you of something like being attracted to someone else, but ultimately she made a choice. You didn’t…cause this, if that’s what you think.”

Sehun’s expression softened a little; there was gratefulness in his eyes…and something else I couldn’t interpret.

I stayed long enough for Sehun to make a little dinner and start to act a little more normal. I wish I could have stayed longer but time escaped us and he reminded me of my curfew. He offered to walk me home and I told him to stay and rest. Besides, I wanted to use the opportunity of being alone while I was walking home.

I pulled my phone out of my pocket and dialed the number. He was probably desperately waiting for me to report to him since he was frantically sending me texts when I didn’t reply.

“Well? What happened? How did it go? How is Sehun?” Sehun’s best friend easily panicked as I could hear him shouting at me over the phone.

“Okay, you need to relax. He’s not…really doing that well.” It took me the whole walk to explain to Jongin what exactly happened. He stayed pretty silent through the entire time, even when I mentioned the cheating.

“Are you even shocked?” I felt bad for sounding accusatory, but he really wasn’t talking. Maybe Sehun learned the silence thing from his best friend. Or it could have been the other way around too.

“To be honest, the person Sera has turned into would do something like this. She’s kind of become a monster.” Too bad Jongin didn’t know what a real monster was, because that kind of a comparison was a better insult.

“Focus, Jongin. Sehun said he wasn’t sad at all, but…he was crying. He said he was relieved. Why would someone be relieved to break up with his girlfriend?”

Jongin sighed on the other line. I was starting to think that Jongin was secretly Sehun’s twin brother because their attributes were so identical sometimes. “I can’t tell you much, In Hye. I’ve made this promise to Sehun so I can’t really give you an answer.”

“I hate being left in the dark, Jongin.” All he told me was to act normal around Sehun instead of trying to make him feel better. I was relieved myself because I didn’t think I was the greatest at that kind of comfort.

I did just what Jongin said to do, and went back to his apartment every single day. Sehun wasn’t as mopey as the day that it happened, but he did refuse to leave his apartment. Being on my own was tough; Jongin was only there on the days he didn’t have to work. It was a lot easier with Sehun’s best friend there because they could do “guy” things like video games or something.

When I was with Sehun by myself, he was just…normal like how he usually was around me. We’d talk about photography, old memories, or random things. He joked, he laughed, and he confused me a lot. I guess that was good though, since his mind was off the break up/cheating. I wasn’t sure if the break up part actually happened yet.

Since we were talking about photography again, I brought up something. His camera was lying out in the open on the coffee table, and I reached for it. “So, are you ever going to let me see the pictures you have taken?”

“NO!” He freaked out and pounced for the camera, but I got it faster than him. It was in my hand and his eyes were shooting daggers at me. Sure, I knew it was a bit playful and I couldn’t help but smile a little. I waved the camera in front of him and he didn’t hesitate to try and grab it out of my hands.

I pulled the camera back out of his reach. Sehun’s balance still proved a little off as he slipped and fell directly on top of me on his couch. His body was crushing mine, but he wouldn’t move, he just stared at me.

I knew the proximity was close when I could feel the short breaths leaving Sehun’s mouth hit the surface of my lips. My mind instantly flashed to the time Sehun and I were at the lake and just like that I was in his arms once again. Only, back then he wasn’t moving closer.

Sehun was moving closer, trying to close the distance between us. I think he would have kissed me in that moment, if not for his best friend knocking on the apartment door.

I guess I'm really good at teasing aren't I? Admit it, you were shocked? \^.^/