Minseok was quiet for the rest of the breakfast and Luhan didn’t understand why. It seemed like something was wrong again. Had he said something wrong or was Minseok not feeling well again? Luhan hoped it wasn’t the later.

“Are you ok?” Luhan smiled. Minseok looked up at him.

“Yes, I’m fine.” Minseok smiled back. What Luhan didn’t know was that the smile was slightly forced. Minseok was on edge and Luhan was the cause.

“I have to do some work but you can go where ever you like.” Luhan stood up from the table.

“I might go to the Library. Maybe outside.” Minseok mumbled.

“The library is fine but outside is too cold and you’re still sick.” Luhan shook his head.

“Ok, I'll remember that.” Luhan stepped away slowly till finally he left the room completely. Minseok continued to eat. He didn’t want to panic or jump to conclusions. Maybe he was just blowing up this situation with Luhan. Luhan could be perfectly fine and just got a little mad on the phone. That could all be true or maybe Luhan had really lost it. Minseok pushed that all aside as he got up and wandered his way to the small library on the first floor. He closed the wood doors behind him and sat down in an armchair.

“He has so many books. I’m not sure where to start.” Minseok sighed. He got up again and went through the shelves. He pulled a book and seeing the cover caused a wave of nostalgia wash over him. It was an old copy of “The Velveteen Rabbit”, a book that Minseok loved growing up. And this book happened to be the exact one he had given Luhan as a gift. He entrusted the book to Luhan and after Luhan disappeared he had never seen it again. He slowly opened the book and a piece of paper fell out on to the floor.

“What?’ Minseok frowned as he leaned down to pick it up. Unfolding it he started to read its contents.

“Dear Minseok, I know you may never get this letter but I’m writing this more for myself I guess. I know that you will be hurt next time I see you but I promise to make it up to you. I always thought that maybe we could be greater than just a couple kids stuck living the rest of their lives in their little neighborhood in Queens. I thought I could give us every opportunity to be great so I left to do just that. I’m so lonely Minseok. I just want to have you here with me and some nights I regret ever leaving you. I could give up all the money in the world just to have you warm in my bed at night. I can’t give up. I have to be great, I have to have you back. I need to have it all.” Minseok finished reading and was stunned into silence. He couldn’t help but want to cry.

“Oh Luhan, you can’t have it all. No one can.” Minseok whispered. He put the letter back in the book and sat down with it. He looked out the window and sighed. What if Luhan would stop at nothing to have everything.

“Drive faster!” Kyungsoo nagged. Jongin pulled his boyfriend back to sit down in his seat.

“Calm down, Kris is going as fast as legally possible.” Junmyeon turned to the two in the back seat.

“But what if Luhan loses it and hurts Minseok!” Kyungsoo panicked.

“That would never happen. Luhan isn’t that crazy.” Jongin shook his head. Kyungsoo sighed and slide down in his seat. Jongin held his hand tighter.

“There are so many mansions! How do we know we found the right one?’ Junmyeon looked around the secluded hamptons neighborhood.

“We just have to follow that woman’s directions. We’ll find it. We have to find it.” Kris said as he watched the road in front of him. The snow fell gently on the quiet area. The rich spent their summers here but in the winter it was almost deserted except for staff and the occasional homeowner coming to visit the house. The roads were lined with trees and peaks of the beach could be seen across the properties.

“Minseok be safe.” Kyungsoo begged.

Luhan pushed back from the desk and stretched. He had enough of work and was hoping to find Minseok somewhere in the house. His first stop was the library. He went down stairs and entered into the wooden doors. The room was quiet and empty. Luhan looked around the room and ended up at the window. He looked out into the garden outside and saw Minseok standing watching the snowfall around him. Luhan was about to run out to bring the boy back inside but he stopped, almost mesmerized by Minseok’s slow steps around the dead garden. Luhan noticed the book in his hands and Minseok’s far away look. He hovered for another minute before going outside to join the other.

“ Minseok.” Luhan called as he opened the garden door. Minseok turned and looked shocked.

“I know you said not to go out.” Minseok said quietly.

“I did. Come back inside.” Luhan sighed. Minseok walked back in and the two sat together in the sun room.

“I found my old book.” Minseok smiled.

“I’m guessing you found the letter too.” Luhan frowned.

“I found that. I read it too.” Minseok looked down at the book.

“I-”

“Why do you need to have everything?” Minseok looked Luhan in the eyes. Luhan froze in place.

“Everything?”

“The power, the money...me.”

“Because that’s what we always dreamed of. That’s what I always promised. I never go back on a promise, Minseok. I have to or else what-”

“Are you worth?’ Luhan stopped when Minseok took the words out of his mouth. “You’re worth everything to me. I was always happy every time you made such amazing promises and I knew one day we would make it but I always thought we would make it together. You didn’t need to do it alone. You don’t need it all to be worth something because you already are.”

“But what’s so bad about dreaming big? What’s so bad about wanting it all. You can call it greed or sin but isn’t it natural. Doesn’t man always want more for themselves and they ones they love.” Luhan argued.

“What’s so bad about just being content. About sharing every hardship and slowly making life good. What's so bad about doing without. That’s natural too.” Minseok sighed.

“Why do you need to fight me on everything.” Luhan stood up.

“If I don’t, who will. Who would stop you from running amuck and going too far?” Minseok stood up, leaving the book on the couch.

“I’m not a little kid. I don’t need to be kept in check.” Luhan snapped.

“Well, I’m not a kid either. I don’t need you to make my life better. I can do it myself.” Minseok retorted. Luhan was silent and couldn’t come back. Minseok turned and started to walk out of the room. Luhan chased after.

“Where are you going?”

“I’m leaving.” Minseok stated.

“No you’re not.” Luhan went ahead of him.

“You need time to think Luhan. We both do.” Minseok pushed past.

“Think about what? We’ve been apart for three years. That’s long enough.” Luhan grabbed his arm.

“Out in that garden, I realized that you and I want very different things in life. We’re not the same people we were three years ago. We have to figure out if we can really get past this. I need to figure out if you’re the same person I fell in love with.” Minseok explained. Luhan was silent for a second.

“You can’t leave me again. You can’t, Minseok. You’re mine and I’m yours. We’re supposed to be together.” Luhan pleaded. Minseok ripped away from Luhan and continued to the door. Luhan chased him outside to the front driveway. “Get back here.” Luhan shouted.

“No! I am not your property Luhan and you’re not mine. We were something once but now we are two strangers unsure of what to do next. We don’t know what we want out of each other.” Minseok turned and shouted back.

“I know what I want and I want you.” Luhan stopped right in front of Minseok.

“You don’t know me. You don’t know who I am now. Nothing is the same, can’t you see that. The Luhan I knew didn’t need everything, he would never force me to stay, or act like he owns me. The Luhan I knew loved me and wanted me to be free.” Minseok turned away. Luhan watched him walk away in shock before he grabbed Minseok’s arm.

“Please Minseok, Don’t leave me.” Luha gripped tightly at minseok arm.

“Let Go !” Someone shouted and punched Luhan in the face.

“Kris!” Minseok shouted.

“Minseok!” Junmyeon came up and hugged his friend tightly. Minseok turned to Kris and Luhan who were fighting on the lawn.

“Stop!” Minseok shouted. “please!” Jongin came up and saw Minseok's distress and went to break up the fight. Kyungsoo came over and Junmyeon went to help Jongin. The two men were pulled away from each other and Minseok ran up.

“Why did you stop me? This bastard took you.” Kris growled, pulled at Jongin, who was holding him tight.

“I was sick. He was just trying to help.” minseok admits.

“Minseok, did you call them?” Luhan looked around.

“I didn’t but I know you didn’t either.” Minseok frowned. “You had no intention of telling anyone where I was. You wanted to just keep me here.” Luhan had no answer. “This is what I’m talking about Luhan. This obsession you have with owning the world is driving you to be someone you’re not. You need to get your head on straight Luhan. Maybe then we can at least be friends again.” Minseok turned and walked to the car waiting.

Kris shook off Jongin and stalked back to the car, keeping his eyes on Luhan. Junmyeon let go of Luhan and walked back to the car with Kyungsoo and Jongin. Luhan was left standing on the lawn alone as he watched the group drive away.

Minseok was silent in the car as he looked out the window. Everyone was also quiet and unsure of what to say.

“I feel sick.” Minseok said quietly.

“Huh?” Kyungsoo leaned closer.

“I don’t feel well.” Minseok turned to him with a frown. Kyungsoo felt Minseok’s forehead.

“He has a fever!” Kyungsoo gasped.

“Kris, get us home!” Junmyeon commanded his boyfriend, who sighed and stepped on the pedal.

Luhan wandered back into the house and went to the sunroom. He sat down and looked at the book still sitting there where Minseok left it.

“The Velveteen Rabbit.” Luhan whispered as he picked up the book. He opened the cover and took out the letter he wrote and looked at the short couple words scribbled inside the front cover.

To Luhan

I love youso much so please take care of this book. It means a lot to me and so do you!

From the best boy friend ever

Minseok

Luhan could feel the tears roll down his cheeks. He turned his head to the mirror on the wall and looked at his reflection.

“Who did I become? Who is this person that Minseok can’t love?” Luhan asked as he sobbed alone in the house.