"Luhan?" Minseok stood in the middle of the cafe. The tray hit the ground with a crash. It was like everything in the universe aligned to make this the worst moment of Minseok's life because at the very moment Kris walked into the cafe followed by Sehun and Tao. Everyone in the room was silent, even the customers.

"What the are you doing here?" Kris growled. He took a step forward and Luhan stood his ground. Minseok could see where this was going.

"Don't." Minseok looked at Kris pleading. He begged him with his eyes. Not now, not here. Kris stepped down but still looked on edge. “Jongin watch the shop.” Minseok called and ran up to Luhan grabbed his hand and ran out the door of the cafe. Away from Kris’s fiery temper and the shocked stares of all the local customers. He got outside and ran for the first place he could think to go. He didn’t even bother to look back at the man he was dragging with him as he ran down the street and into the large wooden doors of the local church. he got inside and dragged Luhan into one of the pues. Silence followed as the two of them caught their breath.

“Church?” Luhan finally broke the silence. “Why Church?”

“You can’t lie in front of God.” Minseok said solemnly.

“You always used to say that.” Luhan smiled fondly but then it slowly faded. “But lie? When have I ever-”

“Please.” Minseok looked to Luhan  with sad eyes. Luhan was struck by just how broken the young man looked. he can’t remember a single moment when Minseok looked so...worn. He looked older and it felt like the joyous little soul he knew Minseok had was gone.

“I can explain…” Luhan sighed.

“Can you?” Minseok said but it wasn’t accusatory or angry, it was almost pleading. Luhan took a deep breath.

“I can and I will.” Luhan turned his body in the seat to face Minseok but the other continued to stare ahead to the altar. “I know, I’ve hurt you Minseok but I’m here today to fix that.”

“3 years later?” Minseok frowned.

“I promise I didn’t waste those three years and I wasn’t ever with anyone else. because I left for your sake Minseok.” Luhan leaned forward.

“My sake?” Minseok finally turned back to the other man and looked confused.

“Yes, you! Remember I promised that one day you could live like a prince. One day I would become a real man and make a life for us. That’s why I came back, we can live that better life together now. I have a company now. I make money and I have beautiful house I know you’ll just love. It has a view of central park. We can look at it every morning. What I’m trying to say is, Minseok I want to be with you again.” Luhan explained but the hollow silence that followed wasn’t reassuring. Minseok just stared at him and it felt like his mind was somewhere else. Memories flashed before Minseok eyes but Luhan couldn’t decipher them. Finally his eyes focused again and he looked Luhan straight in the eye.

“You leave without a word, not even a goodbye so you could get rich? You left me here wallowing in my own pain and heartbreak for 3 years so you could be some hot shot?” Minseok eyes started to burn. “And now you want me to take you back? You want me to drop everything and run in to your arms again?” Minseok was furious now. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

“Minseok, I know what I did was wrong but we can fix that now. We can make it better again.” Luhan smiled trying to placate the other man.

“No.”

“What.” Luhan froze.

“No, we can’t make it better. You left Luhan and I...I’m moving on. I have a life now. I can’t just leave because you think you’re big or because you want to try again.” Minseok looked away again.

“Minseok please don’t-”

“No, Luhan this is it. I’m not taking you back. You have no idea how much pain I was in when you just left me here. You shouldn’t have ever come back here. It would have been better if you had just stayed away.” Minseok shook his head.

“I am trying to tell you that I can make it good again, Minseok. I only left without a word because I didn’t want any of you to stop me. I needed to do this for us.”

“There is no more us.” Minseok shouted. “There hasn’t been for three years.”

“Can’t you see what I did for  you, Minseok? Can’t you see the person I’ve become? I have a the power to get us both out of here. You don’t have to struggle anymore."

“What struggle? I don’t struggle. I never have. I have a good life Luhan and always have. I never needed you to be rich and famous. To me you were always great and our life was always good. I was happy cause our love was enough for me. But I can see now that it wasn’t enough for you. I wasn’t enough for you.”

“That’s not-”

“No, leave Luhan. I saved your from Kris this time but if you come around again I can’t promise I will a second time.”

“Minseok just-”

“Leave, please.” Minseok looked away from him completely, his voice getting quiet. Luhan looked at the back of his head and tried to hold in his pain. He slowly slid out of the pue and stood up. He started to walk out and took one last look at the love of his life before walking out of the church.

Minseok looked back towards the altar and sat stunned by what had just happened. Luhan, his Luhan had come back and instead of running back into his arms, crying, and pleading to start over again he had said no. He chased him away. Where had he gotten the strength to do that? Since when was he so brave?

“Was that me or did you help me?” Minseok looked up at the cross.

“I think that was all you, Minseok.” A deep voice cut him off. Minseok turned to see the pastor.

“Reverend Isaac, how long were you there?” Minseok turned to the man as he sat down next to him.

“Long enough and I can promise you that was your own doing Minseok. The lord does help us in many ways but he can only help us so much. I think today he intended for you to use your own strength even if you didn’t know you had it.” The pastor smiled.

“That’s nice but now...now I feel like I’m really alone. Before there was hope but now, it feels like it’s really over. I feel even worse. Like I never had anyone’s love at all.” Minseok looked down at his folded hands.

“Let me tell you one thing, Minseok. Often times man is blinded by his own ambition. He strives to make himself greater to make his life better and in the process often loses what made him great in the first place. I think that’s what happened to Luhan. He wanted so badly to make a life that was better that he forgot about how good he already had it.” the Pastor could see the Minseok wasn’t following well. “What I’m trying to say, Minseok, is that you shouldn’t blame yourself or think that your love wasn’t worth keeping. Luhan just wasn’t strong enough to keep it. You deserve to find someone who can. You deserve love Minseok.”

“Thank you, Reverend. I feel a little bit better." Minseok smiled.

“I’m happy I could help. I have to go prepare for this coming Sunday but you can stay as long as you like.” The pastor stood up and left Minseok alone.

Minseok looked up to the high ceilings and towering stain glass windows. Sitting alone with his thoughts he could hear the calls  of doubt and insecurity echo through the lofty room. The pastor said what he had done was right. He said that Minseok deserved better. But Minseok had heard that a thousand times and not one them was ever very convincing. Now he couldn’t go back, he had pushed Luhan away with his own hands. He couldn’t change his mind  because everything he said would be nothing but a lie. He slowly lowered his gaze back to the altar and the cross.

“You can’t lie in front of God.” he whispered.

Minseok slowly found his way back into the coffee shop and when he came inside everyone stopped what they were doing and looked at him. Kris stood up from his seat. Minseok looked at him.

“He’s gone.” Minseok sighed.

“Gone?” Jongin spoke up from behind the counter.

“I told him to leave and never come back.” Minseok explained and suddenly the people in shop started cheering.

“You did good.” Sherry, the young woman who lives in the apartment below Minseok, pat him on the back. The mood in the room suddenly lifted and everyone returned to their earlier conversation. Occasionally coming over to smile and reassure Minseok. Minseok just walked over to Kris’s table and sat down looking exhausted. Jongin joined the table too.

“So you really told him to leave?” Sehun asked.

“Yeah, I did. He wanted to get back together with me. Said he was a better man now. He has money and a business.” Minseok explain half heartedly.

“That jerk. He thinks he can ditch you and then come back and you’ll just love him again cause he’s rich.” Tao rolled his eyes.

“I feel like crap.” Minseok put his face in his hands.

“Why? he should be the one feeling like that after he-”

“Sehun, quit it.” Jongin cut in. “It’s understandable. What you did was big, you really broke it off with him. You reall did love him.” Jongin started to rub circles in the older boy’s back.

“I did but did he? Was my love really not enough to make him happy?” Minseok groaned.

“Nothing was enough for him. None of us were. It was like that from the start and we all should have known better.” Kris sat back in his chair and folded his arms.

“I’m getting back to work.” Minseok stood up suddenly. “I’ll kill myself sitting here moaping.” Minseok went back towards the counter. On his way he was stopped by Mr.Kang.

“Can I say something to you.” Mr. Kang asked. Minseok sat down at the table.

“Of course.” He smiled.

“We all have ghosts in our past, Minseok. That’s nothing strange. And they’ll always come back to haunt us when we least expect it.” Mr. Kang took Minseok hands in his. “But it’s up to us to face those ghosts and chase them back to the dark corners they came from or bring them into the light so they won't be our ghosts anymore."

“Thank you, Mr. Kang. I’ll remember that.” Minseok smiled and squeezed the older man’s hands.

As soon as Minseok got home he ran up to the rooftop and avoided Kyungsoo who looked ready to bombard him with questions. He slammed the door behind him and ran straight to the edge and hung over it. He looked out at the skyline and the endless sprawl of buildings. Off in the distance was the glow of Manhattan. When he was younger he had been drawn to it like a moth to a flame. All your dreams could come true there. But he knew now it was all smoke and mirrors. You go there and forget what’s really important and who’s really important. You get wrapped up in this well disguised nightmare. It’s so tempting and inviting but in reality it’s like poison. That’s where dreams go to die, Minseok thought bitterly.

“Was I right to push him away?” Minseok pushed away from the wall. “Maybe I should have taken him back.” Minseok said quietly and walked to the center of the roof. Then he frowned. “No, if I took him back then he’d think he could do that to me again and I would just forgive. I’m not that soft. I was the one that was hurt. He just ran off to be rich and famous while I sat around here heartbroken.”  Minseok stomped his foot. He huffed and sat down on a crate near him. “I bet he’s the one heartbroken now.” Minseok pouted. “It’s wrong of me to do it to him too.” He sat second guessing his choice. “but it was wrong for him to do it to me in the first place. Yeah, he was the one who was wrong. I’m just protecting myself. Is that so bad?”

Minseok stood up and walked back to the edge and looked up at the starless sky. He wonders if the clouds and lights made it hard for Father to hear him when he spoke to him in heaven. If his mother could even see through the smog. Was he all alone on this rooftop now? Was that sky he once thought was full of unseen opportunities now a boundary between him and those who could give him guidance. He was wading in murky waters with no lighthouse to guide him. He was so alone and he didn’t know how to make the ache go away.

Crashing and pained yells came from the high rise office. The secretary stood at the door fearful of what to do next.

“He won’t talk to me. So I called you.” Antonia looked to the older woman next to her.

“I’ll see what I can do but he sounds pretty upset.” She bit her lip and gathered her courage. Slowly she knocked on the door. “Luhan, it’s me Victoria. Can I come in.” Another crash followed but then there was silence. Victoria took that as her ok to go inside. She pushed the office door open slowly and slid inside. She gasped when she saw the state of the office. Things were broken and thrown across the room. Papers were ripped and everything on the desk was pushed to the floor. Then she saw him standing in the far corner, leaning against the window. His clothing was messy and untucked. She approached him slowly and as she got closer she saw he wasn’t going to move. She put her hand on his shoulder.

“None of it was worth it.” He growled

“What wasn’t worth it?’ She whispered.

“This! All of this!” He shouted and turned to face her.

“I don’t know what you mean.” She looked at him completely confused. Luhan walked away and sat at his desk.

“He didn’t take me back.” He started to bite his thumb nail.

“Who didn’t take you back?”

“Minseok! Minseok wouldn’t take me back. He was saying things like I didn’t love him.” Luhan stood up and slammed his hands on the desk. “That’s not true because I do love him! I love more than anything. He's my everything."

“I know that but I don't see what that has to do with this.” Victoria pointed to the building around him. Luhan was silent and looked her in the eyes.

“This was all for him. I did this to make him happy. But now he's the opposite of happy he hates me. I mean I knew he would be mad but I thought I could fix it. If I said sorry and I was sweet then he would have to take me back. I didn’t think he would chase me away.” Luhan said in a low slow voice. “This can’t be happening. I need to fix this. I need it work. I need him.” Luhan shouted.

Victoria stared in silence as she saw the man before her unravel. She had never seen him like this before. She knew who Minseok was. everyone did. There was a portrait of him hanging on the wall above Luhan's desk for the world to see. But she never knew that he meant this much. That even the smallest rejection would lead to Luhan completely fall apart. She had to clean this up, she couldn’t let Luhan destroy everything he had done

“There must be something you can do. Maybe if you try harder you could convince him to forgive you. It was the first time he’s seen you in three years. He was hysteric I’m sure. He wasn't thinking straight. He probably feels sorry already." Victoria tried to reason. Luhan looked at her with a speck of hope in his eyes.

“You think so. You think I can really convince him.” Luhan asks.

“You’re Luhan, you’re one of the most successful young businessman in New York.” Victoria continued to try and bring him back.

“But Minseok isn’t a business.” Luhan looked away. “Minseok is the most important person in this world to me. I need Minseok, Victoria.” he grabbed the woman’s arms.

“And you’ll get him. I believe in you Luhan. You can get Minseok back.” Victoria held him back, looking determined. Luhan smiled.

“I’m going to get Minseok back.”