Chapter 8

NASCENT

 

“So, how did your talk with Chanyeol went?” Jongdae asked.

 

“Nothing peculiar,” I smiled at him. “Casual like before,”

 

“Did you find out?  Is he courting you?” Baekhyun then queried with an expression of too much curiosity.

 

I hummed for a while because I was still deciding to tell them or not but I guess I can’t hide a secret from these two, not that, I did not keep a secret from them – it was their idea that budged me in asking Chanyeol so they deserve to know, I guess? “Yes, he’s trying to do the wooing process,”

 

“No way!” Baekhyun exclaimed.

 

“Is he gay?” Jongdae asked. “Not that I mind?”

 

“I don’t know, I think he’s bi. He’s also into girls and trying to win a guy like me, so I assume he’s bi,”

 

“You’re a bad boy magnet Kyungsoo,” Baekhyun cried out.

 

“All hail the tamer of the corrupted,” Jongdae yelled but he was petrified when a voice just came out from nowhere,

 

“Tamer of the corrupted? Bad boy magnet?” the voice yelled. “Bad boy is good, but corrupted? Doesn’t that sound a bit devilish?” he grinned.

 

“Chanyeol,” It was Chanyeol and he heard everything and that’s why my friends are eternally in shame. Ha! Ha! Ha! “How’s being petrified huh?” I turned to Jongdae. “That’s what you get from being too nosy. Bad Karma!”

 

Chanyeol waved at me and I got up from my seat then paced to him. “What are you doing here?”

 

“Doing the courting stuff of course?” Chanyeol grinned.

 

“Huh?”

 

“I just wanted to see you,” he smiled. Why is he really smiley and stuff? Happiness just exudes from his body and it is very contagious.

 

I also smiled at him flashing him my teeth. “Then, it’s nice to see you,”

 

“I also came here to ask you for lunch only if you don’t mind.”

 

“I really don’t mind………. lunch it is!” I expressed.

 

We both paused for a while. “I guess I’ll go ahead,” I nodded when he said that. “See you later then?”

 

“Yeah,” I replied and he gestured a goodbye wave and paced to his classroom.

 

“Is he already gone?” Jongdae asked when I got back in my seat. This is really funny! You should’ve seen Jongdae’s face, it’s extremely priceless. Ha! Ha! Ha!

 

“He’s gone, you can unfreeze now!” I told him. I hope he already learned his lesson on being too loud and being real mindful to others business.

 

“Soo?” Baekhyun hissed when my giggle ended.

 

“Hmmmmm? What is it?”

 

“I know it’s not my place to mess about or anything but what about Kai?” Baekhyun’s words really took a crash on me. What about him? We’re over, I mean, nothing existed in the first place. Why on Earth then are those words creating a thin line of bafflement?

 

“What about him?” I threw the question back to Baekhyun. I really can’t answer it even if they force me to spill out any form of response or coerce or torture or ………. I’m just gonna stop!

 

“Nothing really, I just thought that he should know,” Baekhyun said.

 

“He should know? What?” I chuckled.

 

“About you know…… You and Chanyeol being all……. dating,”

 

“Why should I? He’s just my tutee… well, former tutee. I don’t owe him any details on my dating life,” I said with a smile but deep inside am I being torn apart. My heart is beating at the pace of a running equine. Why can’t I forget Kai?  “Just don’t stress over it,”

 

“Okay,” Baekhyun just agreed to stop thinking about it but his face stated otherwise, I know that they’ve been waiting for an answer from me about my relationship with Kai. However, for now, I should decide whether I’ll talk to Kai about Chanyeol, we shared something in the past; I think he deserves to know. Just help me guys!

 

~~~~~

 

The bell rang signaling lunch and my classmates just can’t quit teasing me. They even created a name for our love team and that’s ‘Chansoo’, isn’t that cute? And their teases just became louder when the other half of Chansoo came. Guys, you’re all part of Class A, A as in ABNORMAL! Ha! Ha! Ha!

 

I saw Chanyeol smile and went blushing when he heard my classmates squealing and all. Guys! You need to calm down!

 

“Chansoo! Chansoo! Chansoo!” they all cheered.

 

“We’ll leave now,” I yelled when to shut them off. “We have a lunch date to catch,”

 

I notice Chanyeol’s smile reach his elvish ears. I never saw him smile like that, looks like he’s really happy that I consider it a date. You’re really nice Chanyeol! I told Chanyeol that we should go now but he told me that he needs a minute to do something.

 

“Can I have your attention?” Chanyeol said and cleared his throat. “As you all know, I am dating Do Kyungsoo, your classmate and I wish you’ll support our love team!” he chuckled a little. “Thank you!”

 

“Chansoo! Chansoo! Chansoo!” and the shouting didn’t seem to stop and even after we left the room, I can still their screams and yells.

 

“By the way Kyungsoo, where do want to go?”

 

“Anywhere you want, anywhere’s fine…..” I said, honestly I am picky, anywhere is really fine. “Cafeteria?”

 

“Too crowded!”  Chanyeol replied.

 

“There’s an Italian restaurant not from here and the food there is delicious,”

 

“Then off we go there!” Chanyeol beamed. I really don’t get why his always too radiant and happy! I wish I had his cheerfulness and buoyancy!

 

We took a cab and Chanyeol again ushered to pay for our fare but I argued that I should pay since he was the one who paid for the ice cream. It took me a while in arguing with Chanyeol but Do Kyungsoo is determined this time so I made Chanyeol agree only to find out that there’s a catch, he will pay for our lunch. Chanyeol you’ll get broke dating me!

 

As soon as we were seated, a waiter entertained us and gave us their menu. “What are you craving for?”

 

“Lasagna, haven’t tried that for months now.”

 

“An order of Lasagna, Risotto alla pilota and then two glasses of pineapple juice” Chanyeol ordered.  “Then two semifreddos for dessert,”

 

The waiter repeated what Chanyeol ordered to confirm it. After about five to ten minutes of waiting, our food was finally delivered. The presentation alone is mouthwatering; I can’t wait to dig in!

 

“I never realize you like Italian cuisine,”

 

“Yeah, I usually cook Italian food but adding Korean to its flavor, foreign yet familiar,” I explained.

 

“You cook?” Chanyeol was shocked.

 

“Ummm, yes, I think I can.” I replied. “My mom’s influence I guess,”

 

“I’d like to try your cooking if you don’t mind,”

 

“Maybe in our next date I get to cook, that way I’ll prevent you taking the bulk of the expenses,” I chuckled; at least I kept Chanyeol from bothering his wallet for our dates. We talked mostly about my cooking, he was really excited for our little ‘Kyungsoo will cook date’. All was getting along well when I heard a familiar female voice calling out Chanyeol’s name.

 

“Chanyeol!” It was Krystal and…………. Oh my God! Kai’s here, what should I do? What should I do? Hang on? Why should I get flustered if he’s here? It’s not like he’s my boyfriend or anything, Chanyeol’s the person I’m dating, I should focus! Don’t let Kai bother you! Focus!

 

“Krystal,” Chanyeol raised his right hand to let Krystal know he now sees her. I saw Kai wearing a bitter look.

 

“Oh! Aren’t you Kai’s tutor,” Krystal asked when she was standing in front of our table.

 

“Yes,” I smiled. “Well, former tutor,”

 

“Mind if we join the both of you?” Krystal asked,

 

“Not at all,” I replied and Chanyeol nodded so I guess it’s a go but Kai seemed to dislike the idea and keep whispering to Krystal that they should get out.

 

I scoot over so that Krystal can sit while Kai is sitting with Chanyeol. She raised her right hand to get the waiter’s attention.

 

“Good afternoon ma’am!” the waiter greeted and handed Krystal the restaurant’s menu.

 

“No need, we’ll get what they ordered,” the waiter just nodded and proceeded to march to the counter.

 

“So what are you guys doing here?” Krystal asked. Kai’s has been really quite uncomfortable.

 

“We’re just grabbing lunch,” Chanyeol smiled.

“Seriously Chanyeol, you’ll deny things to me?” Krystal smirked and turned to my direction. “Are you two having a date?”

 

I’m dead! Kai’s here and I haven’t told him about us – Chanyeol and me…… Pause………. Kai is out of my life, no need to worry about him! We’re done! “Yes,” I mustered all my courage on that yes. It’s really difficult to answer that and I don’t why.

 

“I did not know you’re into guys Chanyeol?”

 

“I’m not but Kyungsoo’s special,”

 

“How special is Mr. Tutor?”

 

“Pretty special,” Chanyeol said with pride in his voice but their cheerful chat was halted when Kai stood and went out.

 

“I’m out!” Kai yelled.

 

“Kai! Get back here!” Krystal yelled. This is embarrassing; all the costumers of the restaurant are staring. Why are you so stupid Kai? Why?

 

“Chanyeol it was nice seeing you and you too Mr. Tutor,” Krystal hastily said as she pulled out some cash and placed it in the table and followed his boyfriend. As soon as they left, people reverted to their normal eating habits. I sighed knowing that their eyes left us!

 

“That’s quite a scene!” Chanyeol just remarked.

 

“Yeah!” I’m literally in the verge of a breakdown thinking what will happen after this? How would Kai react? Screw this!

 

~~~~~

 

After class, Chanyeol picked me up in the classroom that’s why I am here in the studio watching them practice. It was not really a practice session, more of a gathering. They loved dancing and it seemed not a responsibility but more of a part of their lives. Kai’s not here though and for the first time, I am thankful that he’s not around!

 

“Kyungsoo-hyung,” Tao called me. He’s really cute! Did I ever mention that he’s a baby inside the body of teenager? I guess I did!

 

“What is it Tao?” I answered him.

 

“Do you mind if you join us?” Tao said. “I mean, join us in dancing,”

 

“I would love to but the thing is……………. I don’t dance,”

 

“Please?” Tao pleaded and how I can say no to this baby. “Yoda can teach you,”

 

“Who’re you calling Yoda? Cry baby,”

 

“Very funny,” Tao retorted.

 

I eyed Chanyeol gesturing to quit teasing Tao. “So how do I dance?”

 

“Just follow me okay?” Chanyeol said.

 

“Okay,” I agreed and followed Chanyeol. Step, turns, lounges and everything. It’s difficult but I quite enjoyed it!

 

“You’re not bad,”

 

“Quit your euphemisms Chanyeol, I know I’m a terrible dancer,”

 

“Actually Kyungsoo-hyung, you’re good for an untrained spirit,” Sehun commented. “You just need to practice and sync your movements to your feelings and you’re good to go,”

 

“Thanks Sehun but I’m really not into dancing,”

 

“But he can cook though, he promised to cook for me,” Chanyeol bragged.

 

“Not fair! I want you to cook for me also Kyungsoo-hyung!” Tao whined.

 

“Anything for my baby Tao,”

 

“Baby Tao?” Sehun let out a huge laugh. “Baby?”

 

“Kyungsoo-hyung! Why are you also teasing me?” Tao whined again.

 

“I was not; you’re really a baby,”

 

“Baby Tao,” Chanyeol laughed along Sehun but their burst to laughter was cut off when Kai entered the Lair and snatched me.

 

“Not too fast Kai,” Chanyeol’s quick. He grabbed Kai’s arm when he instantly swooped and caught me.

 

“Move Chanyeol,” Kai is really angry and I can feel it.

 

“It’s okay Chanyeol! I’ll be right back, we’ll just have a talk,” I smiled at Chanyeol and shunned Kai’s grip and walked out of the studio.

 

As soon as we got out of the studio, Kai motioned me to follow him. He’ll beat me to death. Gosh! Guys if I die now, let me tell you that I really enjoyed your company! Please tell my mom that I love her!

“Hyung!” he barked out as soon as we were alone in the Chemistry lab. I avoided his eyes. Once he had these heated eyes but now it only shows pain, and I did not have the courage to look him straight in his eyes for I know I was the one who brought him pain. “Are you really dating Chanyeol?”

 

I collated all the courage I have and said yes and he cried. Kai the campus’ ultimate bad boy cried in front of me. “Kai, it’s not what you think!”

 

“Now it’s Kai?” I stood there in silence not knowing what to say to him. “And it’s not what I think,”

 

“Please Kai, hear me out first,” he’s clenching his fist now. Good Lord, please help me calm him down.

 

“I said drop the Kai!” he shouted and it was like a roar. I am not exaggerating; I’ve never seen Kai this angry.

 

“What do you want me to do? To call you Jongin? I can’t call you that Kai, we’re over and I am not even sure that we even shared something,” I shouted as well but I tried to calm down, really! “We don’t actually belong to each other,”

 

“You can’t expect me to forget about you after all we’ve been through.” He answered. “When I was with you hyung, I was happy, I was genuinely happy,” Kai dropped his angry tone. “I was ready to let go of everything for you hyung………….. but you ran away,”

 

“I did not run away Kai,”

 

“How many times will I utter these words hyung! DROP THE KAI!” He’s gnashing his teeth and clenching his fist and his expression was close to being demonic. If someone would stand here facing Jongin this mad, they’ll run away but I just sobbed seeing him like that, angry and hurt and all because of me. I strode so that our faces were a few centimeters apart. I touched his left cheek in an effort to calm him down and he leaned his face in my touch.

 

“I don’t want you to leave me hyung,” he uttered those words that tore my heart apart. “When I saw you with Chanyeol, I felt rage, I felt envy,”

 

“Jongin, we can’t be together,” I said and my tears just flowed down. “Take care of your girlfriend, she’s more important than I am,”

 

“Hyung,” he embraced me tightly. “I can’t stand seeing you with another person,”

 

“Just forget about me Kai, you are better off with me,” I broke his lock onto me.

 

“You made me better hyung,”

 

“Please don’t make this even more painful,” I said with a tone of agony.

 

“Why can’t you be selfish hyung? Why can’t you be greedy? Why can’t you leave your Mr. Responsibility moniker for me,”

 

“Because if I only think of myself, people will get hurt and I don’t want that Jongin,”

 

“You are hurting me hyung. Do I not matter?”

 

“Just stop Jongin, just stop!” I said and walked out. Am I reduced to this pathetic life form that resorts in running away rather than facing my problems?

 

“I can’t stop hyung,” he just stood in silence.

 

“You have too,” I told him as I removed the necklace he gave. “You have too,” I repeated my words and grabbed his hand and gave him the piece of jewelry he once wore to me. I smiled at him and got out of the Chem. Lab.

 

I left Jongin again, I don’t know why I felt hurt just by the thought of that. What did we share? What did I feel? Did I just feel a simple attraction or something deeper, like an unfathomable connection between our souls? I like to think that it’s the former but honestly it’s the latter. This is something deeper, something that transcends to my very spirit, to my life force and I just know what that incomprehensible emotion is – this is love. However, even though I figured out what I felt towards Jongin it’s all too late. These feelings are no longer useful, I must forget them and begin putting them in oblivion, and this is my nascent of moving on. This is the best thing to do! I really hope so :(