Chapter 14

FATHOMLESS

 

“Good morning hyung,” he said when I woke up in his arms and I instantly covered my mouth – the reason, morning breaths. “It’s okay hyung, I love you, all of you,” he removed my hand and kissed me. I think he’s being really, really cheesy.

 

“Where shall we go today hyung?” he asked me with his entire flashy smile.

 

“I think I’ll be in my bed. I’m feeling lazy,”

 

“Hyung! This is our first day together, we should go have … a you know… a date,”

 

“A date?” I smirked. “We had our little date in the shower last night,”

 

“That counted?” his tone was surprised. I mean, who wouldn’t? A date in the shower? That’s retard!

 

“I’m joking silly,” I smacked his chest.

 

“Good to know hyung!” he flashed a beam again. “So, where do you want to go? We could have a movie or a lunch date in a restaurant or a picnic in the park. Which is which?”

 

“None,”

 

“Seriously hyung? Where do want to go then?”

 

“Amusement Park!”

 

“Why didn’t I think of that? I’m as your boyfriend hyung,”

 

“You don’t and actually, you did really great last night and that’s an ‘A’ for you!” he smiled. He was really great and don’t forget, it did not hurt me anymore like last time. “Did you do some research?”

 

“I did not,”

 

“Denying are we?”

 

“Yeah, you caught me. I ask Sehun for some advice being he’s has far more experienced doing it with a man,”

 

“So I guess Sehun’s really good at this?”

 

“I guess so,” his smile turned to something lustful. “Should we do it again? I learned at lot,”

 

“I guess we could,” I grinned and he almost kissed me when the door opened.

 

“Not doing that now, we’re having breakfast!” It was eomma.

 

“Eomma, could you just knock?”

 

“Nope, I know what you two are up too! We should eat first!”

 

I was in pure embarrassment when I realize what eomma implied. “We’ll head downstairs eomma,” Jongin replied.

 

“Okay then,” eomma left the door ajar and proceeded to go downstairs.

 

“Let’s shower together again?”

 

“Yeah,” a grin beamed from him. “But no more lustful advances okay?”

“I was not thinking of that hyung,”

 

“Whatever you say young man,” Really Jongin? Denying everything when the obvious speaks for itself! Ha! Ha! Ha!

 

~~~~~

 

“You’re cooking is still the best eomma,” Jongin and his flowery words. “Is hyung a great cook like you eomma?”

 

“Hang on? I cooked for you? You did not bother to eat it?”

 

“I’m sorry hyung, I had a little quarrel with Chanyeol so the ….” Jongin stopped. “All the members of the Dance Club ate it. No! No! No! No! You cooked that for me and they all ate it,”

 

“Your loss, I’m never gonna cook for you ever again,”

 

“Hyung! Don’t joke about that,”

 

“I am being serious. I’m never gonna cook for you like ever,”

 

“Hyung! Hyung! Hyung! I’m sorry okay, I did not mean it. Please cook for me again, please! Big please!”

 

“Kyungsoo you’re so selfish! Being the ‘uke’ in your relationship, you should cook for your partner,” eomma commented and me, the submissive one?

 

“Eomma’s right, hyung,”

 

“Excuse me, who’s submissive? Who’s passive? Who’s the uke? And how did you know about that eomma?”

 

“I have Japanese students who like to read BL mangas and being a teacher, I should cater on the likes and dislikes of my students,”

 

“Eomma, I’m your son here. Support me!”

 

“Technically, Jongin is now my son and there should there be no favoritisms,”

 

“Eomma!” this is favoritism!

 

“So hyung? Please cook for me again and for the rest of our lives, please!”

 

“Yeah, do I even have a choice?”

 

“I love you hyung,”

 

“I love you too,” I sighed. Democracy and the rule of majority in this situation!

 

“By the way eomma, who’s cooking is better?” Jongin ask. Really? Comparing me and my mother?

 

“I guess he is the better cook and he’s even more talented than I am or his father,” Eomma smiled at him.

 

“So appa is a cook too?” Jongin’s really curious about my genealogy. Why not hire someone who can do some background check on me Jongin.

 

“Yes, he was! In fact we had a little restaurant back then when he’s still alive,”

 

“Oh, I’m sorry eomma, I did not realize,..”

 

“It’s okay Jongin, we’ve moved on and your appa said that we should not mourn on him, we should keep the happy memories alive,”

 

“What about your father Jongin?” I asked in curiosity.

 

“He’s gone,”

 

“Gone? Like he’s dead?”

 

“Yeah,” he hastily replied. “But we should not talk about him hyung, we should eat you know,”

 

“Okay,” I responded and continued eating. We had our breakfast very merrily and I never had such a gleeful breakfast in a lifetime. Eomma is really smiling. Little chuckles and laughter, this is great! “Eomma, I will go home tonight. I’ll stay at Jongin’s! Is it okay?”

 

“I knew this day would come? You’re leaving me behind to make your own nest,”

 

“Eomma, stop being so melodramatic,”

 

“I’m not!”

 

“You could always stay at the house eomma so we can live happily together. That way you will not miss hyung and I will not miss you too,”

 

“No living in together unless you two are married and that’s quite costly. Last thing I know, same marriage is not legal here, you have to fly abroad,”

 

“I’ll be happy to marry hyung anywhere in the world eomma,”

 

“Okay, that’s assuring for me. Now you two go, you have a date to catch,”

 

“How did you know that eomma?” I asked in a very inquisitive tone. “Seriously eomma? Did you install some hidden camera in my room?”

 

“That’s for you to find out son,”

 

“Eomma!” I protested.

 

“Just joking Kyungsoo,” she chuckled. Eomma, you’re now making fun of me. “Jongin, take care of my Soo and I’m expecting him to come home tomorrow in once piece okay?”

 

“Yes eomma,” Jongin saluted like eomma is some kind of a commanding officer and he’s cute.

 

“Bye eomma, stay safe okay?”

 

“Bye eomma, I’ll miss you,” Jongin smiled and waved his hand.

 

~~~~~

 

“So what shall we ride first?”

 

“A merry-go-round sounds safe for me,” I said.

 

“That’s lame hyung,” Jongin pouted.

 

“Then what do you want to ride on?”

 

“The Ferris wheel then the roller coaster then we should try the haunted house and then one of their water rides,”

 

“I guess that sounds interesting,” I replied.

 

We tried the Ferris wheel and it’s quite fun, seeing the city’s skyline – what a beautiful sight. Then the roller coaster, Jongin surely screams like a girl and I’m the passive one? Seriously? Ha! Ha! Ha! The Haunted House does not feel like a Haunted House at all and last thing in Jongin’s list is the Swan Boat ride.

 

“Isn’t this romantic hyung?”

 

“Kind of,”

 

“Hyung! Couldn’t you be a little merry?” Jongin protested.

 

“I am happy Jongin,”

 

He sighed. “So that’s you in your happiest? Really hyung?” he sighed again.

 

“Nope, I’m the happiest with you,”

 

“You’re too cheesy hyung!” he pouted and like hell, pretended he’s all not amused and all.

 

“I’m not!” I said and then peck his lips in just a very gentle manner and he just smiled and continued talking about everything.

 

After all the rides, Jongin bought some cotton candies and we catch a bus off to Jongin’s house. He held my hand all that time when we were in the bus catching everyone’s attention. It is still not that open here but I guess it’s bearable.

 

“Mom I’m home, hyung’s with me,” Jongin yelled when we entered their house.

 

“Jongin, good to know, I guess you too worked it out?” Mom smiled. I guess he knows about us already.

 

“Yeah mom,” Jongin smiled.

 

“Just be patient with Jongin, Soo-dear. I know he’s all hardheaded and naughty and not to mention, his talkative as well,” Mom stated the very obvious. I am well aware of those feats mom and don’t worry I’m kinda used to it.

 

“By the way Jongin, your Dad is here,” Mom spoke as we were pacing to their living room but hang on, I thought his father is dead.

 

“Jongin, I thought your father is …….,” I was about to speak the word dead when someone did that for me.

 

“I bet he said that I’m dead,” It was Jongin’s father. “I’m Jongin’s father and are you Kyungsoo? His mom told so much about you,”

 

“Yes sir!”

 

“Let’s go upstairs hyung,” he shrug me off when I was about to have a handshake with his father.

 

“Kim Jongin, where are your manners? You go upstairs alone, I’m staying here!” I protested. “It’s nice to meet you sir,”

 

Jongin just fell silent and I guess he doesn’t want to go without me but what’s wrong with him and his father. He’s lucky he still has a father unlike me.

 

“Just drop the sir, call me dad like how you call Jongin’s mother, mom,” Jongin’s dad said. “And you’re in a relationship with my son now so it’s okay to call me dad,” Wow! I was not expecting this! I thought that his parents would disallow our relationship like those couples in BL movies and novels.

 

I just smiled. “Okay dad,” but I still can sense Jongin displeasure and his tense and uneasy state so I decided to go with him in his room.

 

“It was nice having a talk with you, Dad,” I bowed and gestured Jongin and complied with NEVER-REALIZED-IM-PISSED face.

 

He marched with heavy feet to his room and I really cannot understand why he doesn’t like his father, I mean his nice and frankly, at least he has one.

 

“What’s wrong with you?” I asked him when we arrived at his room.

 

“Nothing is wrong,”

 

“Nothing is wrong? Well that explains why you forgot your manners around your father,” I exclaimed.

 

“His not my father, he’s no one,”

 

“Stop that!” I yelled and I bet this would be our first fight as a couple and it’s like our first day and we’re already fighting. “You don’t know how it feels to lose your father,” I’m getting too emotional with these Daddy issues now. “You’re lucky that your father is still here and he cares about you,”

 

“Stop hyung, I don’t want us to fight,” he hugged me. “I just don’t have a thing about fathers,”

 

“Why?”

 

“I don’t want to talk about that hyung,” he broke his laced arms around me and faked a smile.

 

“Do you not trust me?”

“Is not that hyung,” he shunned that idea and of course I would be hurt if in any case he doesn’t trust me.

 

“Then why can’t you tell me? We’re together remember? We share our happiness but we also share our pain,”

 

He fell silent for quite a while, I bet his thinking if we should talk about this or not. “I’m an illegitimate child,,, hyung,” he said, no make that he whispered, then I noticed tears flowing from his eyes. “All my life, I saw my mom cry because of him. He did not even protected mom when his real family cursed her and called her names. I know that what they did was wrong but they did it together, why is my mom only the one suffering while he’s all okay and can’t bear that thought. Since that, I erased him from my family. I only have my mom and my mom is everything to me and……… you hyung.” His tears stop falling when he mentioned about me and his mood got a little happier. “I’m happy because you came and eomma came. I guess my family is getting bigger and I don’t need him to be part of it,”

 

“No matter what you do Jongin, he is still your father,” I stated the obvious.

 

“No hyung, he will not be a father to me,”

 

“Okay, I will not argue with you now, but you should at least respect him, at least for being a person,”

 

“I can’t promise that hyung but I’ll try……for you hyung,” he kissed me.

 

“So what are we gonna do here? You’re too hasty to come to your room, there should be reason?”

 

“What will we do?” he smiled with a hint of something lusty. “We’ll make our family even bigger hyung,”

 

“Why am I not surprised?” I sighed but I guess I like that idea. I’m so erted and by the way Jongin, if you haven’t noticed, I don’t get pregnant!

 

~~~~~

 

“So Kyungsoo, what school do you go to?” Dad asked me while we are having our dinner.

 

“Same school with Jongin Dad,” I replied.

 

“Oh! How’s my son doing in school?” he said but Jongin motioned to stand when he heard the word son.

 

“Jongin please?” I literally flashed my ever cute begging face in an effort to stop him ruining this lovely dinner. “He’s all feared and delinquent but he dances and he dances really good,”

 

“I never realized he dance,”

 

“How could you realize? You have your own family remember, we’re just your side dish,” Jongin remarked.

 

“Jongin stop speaking that way to your father,” his mother reprimanded him.

 

“No mom! He’s not my father!” He stood up and flew to his room. I sighed at this family drama.

 

“I’m sorry Soo-dear that you have to witness our family drama,”

 

“It’s okay mom! I should speak to him,” I stood and paced towards Jongin. Well, a few imploring words and few cute faces is just the thing to convince Jongin to go back in the Dining Room and act like a mature man.

 

“I’m sorry for my temper,” Jongin spoke and I bet he was just forced to apologize. I made him! Ha! Ha! Ha! I’m really really good at this!

 

“It’s okay honey, just continue eating,” his mom said and mouthed thank you to me.

 

I smiled at mom and we continued our dinner and all that time I am just holding Jongin’s hand, just to keep him calm and to assure him that I’m here! I get how he feels about his father but isn’t he acting too overboard about this? Well that’s Jongin and I guess I should live with that, I chose him and all of him, the good and the bad.

 

After dinner, Jongin hastily proceeded to his room while I helped cleaning the kitchen. At first Mom said that I shouldn’t do that and they have maids to handle the chores but I guess I’m kinda used to it being I don’t have a maid at home and it’s me and eomma only in the house.

 

“Can we talk for a bit Soo?” His dad asked when I was finished helping out in the kitchen.

 

“Yes! Of course dad!”

 

We walked to their balcony and then he spoke, “Thank you Soo,”

 

“Huh? Thank you for what Dad? I did not do anything,” I was confused and I am thinking what did I do to deserve a thank you?

 

“Thank you, for loving my son,” he smiled. “Thank you because, you changed him and you changed him a lot,” he explained. “When I visit them in the past, he usually would not eat with me and would often leave or lock himself in his room and he would not dare to speak to me or at the least look at me,”

 

“I never realized that your relationship is in pretty bad shape!” I commented with a tone of anxiety.

 

“It was worse before, before you came. His mom said that since he met you a few months ago, he’s smiling and he’s crying and he’s getting angry and jealous and all. He’s an emotionless young boy before and that’s quite my fault,”

 

“Jongin’s not that bad dad before me; he was just hurt and misunderstood,”

 

“I know and it’s because of me,”

 

“I don’t know everything about what happened before Dad but just try and try to speak to him. Even I found it hard at first but I never gave up on him so that’s why we’re like this now,” I gave him an assuring smile. “He’s hurt but like all the pain in the world, it is healed with love and time,”

 

“Thank you Soo, I’m glad he found you! You would be great for Jongin,” he flashed a grin. “I guess I should go now, I still have work tomorrow morning, take care of my Jongin for me,”

 

“Okay dad!”

 

I slept that night in Jongin’s arms and I’m still thinking about his relationship with his father. It’s awful that he hates his own father but who can judge him? He’s hurt and it takes time to heal severely deep wounds like that. However, like any other wounds, physical or emotional, it heals and ameliorates and we just have to constantly try to mend it with time and love – great, immeasurable and fathomless love.