I didn't think I could ever be jealous of Junsu and Yoochun. I think I am, though. Or is it envy rather? Whichever it is, it's a miserable feeling. Like a gloomy cloud that hangs over me whatever I do. So much so that the others have noticed.

They know it's our membership week, of course. And they can tell that I'm chafing at the bit, wishing I was there. It's not that I think the time spent serving in the army is wasted. I don't. And it isn't. It's just that we wouldn't have come as far as we have without our fans. They've been such a huge part of our lives for so long that we should all three be there to show our appreciation. But I'm stuck here and so Junsu and Yoochunnie have to work extra hard.

Especially Yoochun, who's joining the ranks this week.

And next year… none of us will be around and then what will happen?

I don't think that our fans will forget us, or turn away from us, but not being able to share at least a part of us with them is tough. The toughest part of the road yet.