Silent tears streamed down the faces of the people around the grave. The weather on that day was somehow ironic. It’s a nice sunny day with birds chirping in the background. It would have been a perfect day to go on a date with Hakyeon. It would have been the perfect 6th monthsary date for Taekwoon and Hakyeon. But the damage has been done. Taekwoon watched on as the tears kept falling down his face profusely. He wanted to stop crying, to stop hurting because that would be exactly the way Hakyeon wants him to be. But he can't. Even after Hakyeon's gone he can't be perfect as per how Hakyeon had been. Hakyeon was always the stronger one in their relationship. Taekwoon on the other hand had always been the one that constantly seeks comfort from Hakyeon and confides in him. Now, all Taekwoon is left to rely on is nothing.

Hakyeon is gone just like that, slipped away right under everyone's nose. The worst part of it all was that this could all be prevented in the early stages if only they had been more concerned and observative. No matter what it is, Hakyeon could always see through their masks and could always rebuild their crumbled walls but they could not even detect the anomalies in Hakyeon's every action. Hakyeon's every lie and mask couldn’t be penetrated by anyone at all. Till the day of his death, untill today.

Taekwoon stayed back as everyone else left with a squeeze to his shoulder. He did not have the heart at all to leave his precious Hakyeon all alone, dark and lonely. How is Hakyeon doing now? Where is he? Is he still in pain? Does he realise that he is.... dead? And... Can he see Taekwoon now? All these thoughts seem to claw at his insides and he wants to just collapse and scream his heart out. No matter how much he cries, no matter how much blood he sheds, no matter how much he regrets every single thing that had happened, nothing can bring Hakyeon back.  Before he goes crazy from the silence and all the staring he does to the very ground that held his lover, he decided to leave. He still had a promise to Hakyeon that he had yet to fulfill anyway. He inhaled a sharp intake of breath and turned around. His silent whisper was drowned out by the breeze.

"Goodbye Hakyeon. I Love you."

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Taekwoon shoved his hands into the pocket of his slack pants. He had been walking around in the said park for 30 minutes yet there was no sign of anything that was related to him and Hakyeon. Just as he was about to give up, a man came running to him.

"Sir, are you Mr. Jung Taekwoon, partner of Cha Hakyeon?"

"Yes?"

"This is a remote that Mr. Hakyeon left to me. You are required to walk to the end of this road where a bench and a table awaits you. There, you will figure out of what use exactly is the remote for. Thank you sir, have a nice day!"

Have a nice day. Tch. How ironic.

Taekwoon took the remote from the outstretched hand anyway albeit confusedly and was about to ask something when the man dashed off, leaving a stunned Taekwoon behind. He shrugged and pocketed the small remote as he continued walking. When he turned around a tree, he spotted the place the man was talking about a few minutes ago. Taekwoon quickened his pace and he smiled bitterly upon the sight of balloons, candles and banners up ahead.

So Hakyeon-ish.

Taekwoon then saw the huge projector and screen in front of the picnic table. He finally understands the uses of the remote. Hakyeon, his sweet sweet Hakyeon had left a video message to him as their monthsary present. He could feel tears prickling at the corners of his eye. He quickly blinked them away and took a seat before pressing the remote. The screen immediately lit up and Taekwoon was greeted with the image of Hakyeon smiling brightly, the brightest he had seen these past 6 months. Taekwoon took a deep breath. He could do this, he will do this. 

"Hello there Taekwoonie~ as handsome as ever I guess? To clear things up, those nights I was away for a long time, I was here Taekeoonie, preparing for these stuffs. Taekwoon, okay so first things first, today is our 6th month anniversary yayy~ Happy 6 months Taekwoon! I love you so much, Taekwoon. More than you ever know."

"Taekwoon, if you are watching this then it means that I am already gone, aren't I?  Hm... Don't be sad Taekwoonie. You know I hate seeing you sad and crying. I would wipe your tears away if I could. Speaking of which, Taekwoon. That was the the main reason I kept everything locked away and buried at the very bottom of my heart. I don't want to hurt you Taekwoon. I know how you get affected easily. I want to be the only one hurting although it means double the pain for me.  Right beneath that cold demeanour of yours lays a garden full of babies and tiny animals. So I prepared this specially for you~"

Hakyeon took out a pair of cat ears headband and as he wore it he let out an embarrassed laughed. His hands immediately flew to his face, cupping his own cheeks, a habit he was used to. Taekwoon choked on his tears as he observed Hakyeon get all embarrassed and all cutesy. Just the way he loved him. He bit back a sob that was tryjng to escape his lips.

"Heheeee. This is so embarrassing but I'll keep it on anyway because I know you like it don't you? Taekwoon ah.... There are so many things that I want to tell you now. And I know you'd probably get bored but please hear me out for the last time ever. Taekwoon-ah. You. Are. The best thing that had ever happen to me. The moment I set eyes on you back in training days, I know I had fallen in love. Hard. And I had never regretted every moment of it, of being in love with you. You are my sunshine and the only thing that keeps me going, the only thing that shields me from my destructive thoughts and self-consciousness. Every single moment that I spent with you, they shined. Whether the weather was good or bad, they all shined in my eyes. My love towards you had become so bad that I no longer dance to keep my mind at rest, I dance for you. I dance to keep myself from thinking of you. I love you too much Taekwoon. I love you too much that at some points it hurts. It hurts for me to just breathe without thinking of you. You are my world, Taekwoon. One that I would definitely stay in.... If only I could...."

"Hakyeon ah..."

By that time all the suppressed emotions from the funeral, from the past days spend with Hakyeon, everything they just broke. Showering Taekwoon in shards of glasses that pierced his skin.

"Taekwoon, please stop crying.... I would take away the pain if I could Taekwoon. You and I, we both know that whatever that happened was planned by none of us and was certainly not caused by us. It just came hitting us out of nowhere. I will miss you Taekwoon. Badly. But I want you to know that my love for you is never limited. I will love you forever, even in death, Taekwoon. I will always look after you and protect you. All those times I hurt you, I am sorry, Taekwoon, I really am. Those times when I pretend, I want you to know that they are solely meant to protect you from the harsh reality as best as I could. Now, I am too tired of pretending. Maybe now, now I could finally stop pretending and not be in pain anymore."

"We discussed this subject before Taekwoon and you promised me that you would move on. It's okay if you take time to move on, I understand. Just... just move on, okay. I don't want you to keep mourning me and not be with someone else just because you still love me and miss me. You have to move on, you still have a long journey of life in front of you. Live it to the fullest. I trust you Taekwoon, I have faith in you, and I know that you can lead the kids well, maybe even better than me. One thing though, please Taekwoon, don't forget about me and please don't erase me. Because I know I won't Taekwoonie. I never will. I guess that's it. This is where we part for real, huh? Well then. Farewll Taekwoonie. I love you so much Jung Taekwoon. Always have, always will. Goodbye."

Taekwoon could not even think straight. The tears are pouring down  like there was no tomorrow. He gets it now. He understands everything. His Hakyeon that knows him very well. His insecurities and worries, his pain and things that he will try to hide. Everything.

Through teary eyes he watched the sun fall behind the horizon, painting the sky shades of red and pink, and thanked God that this day has come and gone. All the pain Hakyeon suffered through. All the hurt he felt. Everything. Gone. And hopefully, the aching hole in his heart will settle into merely a sore spot as the time goes on. With the last tear trickling down his chin, he let out a quiet, stiffled,

"I love you too Cha Hakyeon."

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9 years later

Taekwoon strolled the hospital corridors leisurely, a goofy smile still plastered on his face. He had just visited his noona who had given birth to adorable triplets just a couple of days ago. Taekwoon was the first to arrive after receiving the news. As he was walking towards the elevators, the sight of a lonely boy sobbing on a chair caught his attention. Typical Taekwoon and his soft spot for children, he went over and sat next to him.

"Umm.. Hello there. Are you okay? What's wrong?"

The boy lifted his head, face streaked with dried tears and spoke with a quivering voice.

"My...My mother... She got into an accident and the doctors still haven't tell me how she is."

Oh.

"Oh, I'm sorry. But don't worry she'll be fine. Where is your daddy?"

"Daddy? Daddy hasn't return home for a year already."

Double oh. Okay Taekwoon was feeling very guilty already.

"How old are you little one?"

"I am 8 years old, hyung."

"Okay. You are very young. You can call me Leo hyung. What is your name.?"

"Cha Hakyeon. My name is Cha Hakyeon, Leo hyung."