27

IT'LL BE OKAY

Gongchan wakes up to orange sunlight blinding his eyes, exposing his every move. He turns to his side and is met with the familiar sight of his bedroom drawer and blue painted walls. He blinks twice. He sits up straight. That’s not where he last remembers being.

His head hurts, and it’s no surprise when he checks the clock on his nightstand and sees it shining 6:00 pm in red light. He groans and lays back down. His eyes feel puffy and swollen, and he bets they’re red too, just like they have been everyday for the past days.

Everything that has happened seems like a dream to him. Not a nice dream that is filled with sweetness and kindness and everlasting happiness, but a nightmare that has stolen everything that matters most to him. Perhaps it was a dream. A terrible dream. One that he cannot wake up from.

The faint tingling on his lips say otherwise, and so do his sore eyes. He presses his fingers against his lips, revels in the feeling of being kissed for the first time.

He closes his eyes.

He wishes that his first kiss hadn’t been in tears.

The sound of a car engine starting makes him jolt up once again.

Jinyoung.

He rushes to the window.

Sure enough, the rental vehicle is leaving their driveway, and Jinyoung is nowhere in sight. It’s a reminder that his worst fear is in fact happening. Jinyoung is actually leaving, and there’s nothing he can do to stop him.

Gongchan sits back on his bed, and looks down at his sock-covered feet. He starts to think about Jinyoung’s actions over and over again -- about everything he said and did, about what he’s going to do. Then he remembers their conversation in the car, outside the coffee shop.

Slowly, he tries to understand it all.

Maybe Jinyoung leaving is for the best.

Maybe it’s time for him to accept it instead of fighting it.
They’re soulmates after all.

The fear in his mind didn’t leave, nor did the anxiety in his stomach, but it was all only a matter of time. Sooner or later, he’d be alright. He shouldn’t depend on Jinyoung for his happiness, as easy as that might be. For now, he had himself, his mother, his friends. He wasn’t going to lose Jinyoung. No, he wouldn’t lose Jinyoung. Their life was just going to change, and they were going to manage each other in a different way.

It wasn’t goodbye.

It was a new beginning.

--

It’s monday morning, and Gongchan dreads going to school more than anything at the moment. He’s laying in bed at 6 am, wide awake, with his heart pounding against his chest. It’s weird how everything seems to go downhill once school or work is involved.

He somehow manages to get up, get dressed, and gather up the courage to leave his room. He opens the door, half-expecting to see Jinyoung and half-expecting an empty hallway. He gets the latter, thankfully. The bathroom is empty, so he take