written by: silentbunny11

written on: April 10, 2012

He was always afraid of the idea of confessing his love to her. That was why he had nothing much to do but to just watch her from the sidelines.

Donghae fixed his eyeglasses properly as he was watching her from a distance. A few yards away from him, the girl he has been secretly admiring for since primary school was practicing figure skating with the others. She was not the best figure skater in their school but Donghae has only, and always will, watch her move gracefully into the ice and do some tricks among the others. It was probably an act of stalking, some might say, but Donghae has never got tired of watching her. And this act, based on other people’s experiences, was considered to be a creepy act that sometimes freaks some girls out but Donghae thought of it otherwise. Because everytime Tiffany catches him staring at her, Donghae will just receive a polite nod from her or even a sweet smile sometimes. And he had no other choice but to wave back in a rather awkward manner.

“But you’ve known her for so long. I am sure that Tiffany knows that you like her.”

“But I didn’t tell her just yet. There’s no way she’ll know it.”

“Girls are far cleverer than boys, Donghae. There’s no way she’ll not notice your hidden feelings for her when in fact, you have been caught almost a zillion times!”

“But Jessica—”

“Act now before anyone does it first. Girls get tired of waiting, too.”

“Tiffany will just reject me.”

“What are you? A grade schooler? Come on, Donghae. You’re already in college!”

He sighed and grabbed his text book instead. “I’ll think of it later and will just focus on my Zoology test instead.”

“You’re still a decent man, I guess. Tests over a life long relationship. You really are something, Donghae. Now I know why you didn’t have any girlfriends in high school.”

Jessica stood up and stretched her arms, “I don’t want to ruin your mood for studying, dude. But as your best friend, I think I am obliged to warn you that Choi Siwon is planning on asking Tiffany out.”

Donghae stopped from reading and immediately looked up at Jessica. “Where did you get that?”

“Heechul told me.” Jeesica coughed and smiled proudly, “He’s my boyfriend after all.”

Donghae has to admit that he had forgotten that his best friend was dating Kim Heechul. It has nothing to do with Jessica at all but Donghae got tired of memorizing and reminding himself who is who up to date. Her best friend was actually pretty and it’s not a shocker that a lot of boys ask her out. He never knew why but Jessica had never gotten herself into a proper and serious relationship. She has this ritual of dumping her boyfriend after 6 months but he had never seen her cry. It would be the boy that would (always) shed tears instead. Donghae asked her why one time and she just told him that she needs to let go of the wrong guy to find the right one. Donghae thought about it and guessed how many boys she’d dump first before she’ll finally find the right one.

Jessica was (definitely) not a bad girl, Donghae knew and was sure of that, but he has to admit his best friend has left a lot of scars already. He knew some of the boys and he’s quiet sure they all loved her so much.

“But I never kissed anyone yet, Donghae. I promised myself my first kiss would be with mr. right.”

 Jessica would sometimes remind him that. Despite from the number of boys she’s dating (well, of course not all at once at the same time!), Donghae was still thankful (and proud) for her best friend had never given her treasured thing just to anyone.

“I still have my brains over my heart, Donghae. You need not to worry.”

She might have hurt others feelings but Donghae was more than thankful not to see her cry.

“It cost me a lot of pride to get the information so you must do something right away, Donghae.” Jessica stood up and turned her back. “I.. I forgot to tell you but Heechul and I decided to meet at 5.” She lied.

“Eh? I thought we’re going on a food trip later?” Donghae mumbled.

“I am going to meet my boyfriend.” She paused. “Bye.”

Jessica left Donghae without another word. She heard him talk about promises and bets but Jessica wasn’t able to catch it. She was already running away from him as her tears started to fall from her eyes.

“Do I look alright?”

Donghae was nervously clutching a long stemmed red rose behind a pole a few yards away from the skating rink. He was wearing a nicely fitted polo shirt with matching polished shoes. His aroma was lingering across the place and Jessica can’t help but to feel (at least) of importance since this was the body spray she had given him for his birthday. She knew Donghae well as much as she knew that he’s very picky when it comes to body sprays. Jessica had noticed that his hair unlike his usual untidy do were neatly combed now in to the other side with a nice touch along with it.

“I love your hair.” She commented. Jessica was here to guide him—to be his mentor.

“Thanks.” It was all Donghae could ever mutter. Jessica was sure her best friend was feeling so nervous noticing that the man in front of him was taking multiple steps back and forth and back again—it was funny, Jessica mused, but at the same time looked cute on him.

“Relax. If you’ll let the nervousness over come you, it’ll just make things worse.” She advised, taking a step towards him and tucking his collars more properly.

“I can’t help it.” Donghae was able to release the pressure with a heavy sigh afterwards.

The young woman put her hands on her waists and spoke in a matter- of- fact tone, “Girls never liked boys who stutter as they speak. It was cute but is most of the time annoying and boring.”

“Wow. Thank you for the warning. Tiffany might as well be annoyed and bored with my stuttering.” He rolled his eyes and immediately focused his eyes on the lady who was still on the skating rink—dancing and gliding through the smooth ice.

Jessica also followed his gaze and saw the other girl already heading towards their locker room, her skating shoes (or whatever they call it) on her right hand while her left supported the other.

“Go! Remember, stay calm…” Jessica whispered, slightly pushing Donghae forward to head a start. The young boy, however, hesitated at first. Taking in a few deep breath and headed his way afterwards.

Really, this man. I don’t think he’ll be able to get a wife.

Jessica talked to herself as he saw her best friend walking in a very slow pace towards Tiffany, clutching his rose like it was some sort of a reliever. Donghae was already actually a few steps at Tiffany’s back when Choi Siwon appeared out of thin air.

“Hi, Tiffany.” The Choi gentleman greeted with his killer smile.

“Siwon-sshi.” Tiffany recognized him.

“I’ve watched your practice. You were really good. I’ve bet a few years from now, you would become Korea’s next best figure skater.” Siwon said as he gently reached for her shoes. Tiffany was grateful to let him bring it for her.

The two went on walking as they chat with one another while Donghae was left speechless with his red rose still on his hand. He was dead frozen and unmoving as he witnessed the Choi moving into the scenario only a split earlier than he was supposed to approach Tiffany.

Jessica, worried at her best friend, ran towards him and saw his probably- still- in- shock expression on his face.

“Hey,” Jessica said in a low voice as if trying to bring back Donghae from reality.

He was a moment late when he recognized Jessica’s calling. He let out a short and i- can’t- believe- it- happened laugh as he turned to look at Jessica.

“I think the mission needs to be aborted.” He told her, shrugging as he head his way back.

“You’re giving up just yet?” Jessica asked, surprised.

Donghae stopped and turned to answer, “Uhm.. yes, since we are talking about Choi Siwon here. I don’t stand a chance against him, Jessica.”

She crossed her arms, raised her eyebrows and said, “You must not give up, Lee Donghae. If you love her then you’ll never going to give up, you’re going to compete as well. I don’t believe you’re giving up easily. Are you even a man?”

“I will never have a chance, Jessica. I know it even from the very beginning. I don’t even know I even agreed on doing this.” Donghae complained, “I know the things that are withing my reach and Tiffany is obviously out of my vicinity. She’s like.. the stars. It’s very impossible to reach a star.”

“Will you stop being immature? F. Y. I., you’re already losing the chance of having her. She’s the one who has your heart, remember? She’s the one you secretly like ever since… forever! And if you still don’t realize—”

“Will you please stop acting like you’re my mother? You’re even annoying than my mom!”

Jessica was taken aback at this.

“Jess, I’m sorry—”, Donghae had realized what he just did wasn’t right. He was out of his mind—probably too hurt with the scenario earlier. He was losing hope and he was already actually starting to accept defeat and here he was, being scolded by his best friend. He knew he wasn’t supposed to tell those kinds of words to her like that in a rude voice. He was annoyed—more at himself—and he probably was overpowered by it that he actually yelled at her when in the first place he should never have done it since Jessica was her best friend ever since and she has the right to tell him that.

But it was already too late for him to ask a proper apology and explain that he just happened to be thinking a lot of things in his mind and not to mention that excruciating hurt he was feeling.

“Jessica! Jessica!” he ran after her and called out her name but her best friend won’t budge to lessen her speed and face him.

22 missed calls.

Jessica, I’m sorry. Let’s talk, please?

I know it was my fault. I acted towards the situation very immaturely. Please stop ignoring me, Jess.

Just give me a minute to explain.

Everything was happening ten thousand miles a second. I was so out of my mind.

My brain stopped processing.

God damn it, Jessica. You’re my best friend! I don’t want to lose you for heaven’s sake!

It was ALL my fault. I’m really really sorry. I’m sincerely sorry with what I have done. It was a big mistake.

I’m really sorry and I mean it.

I don’t want to lose you, my best friend. I’m far more willing to lose the chance of having Tiffany than to lose my one and only best friend.

You mean more to me, Jess more than anyone in the planet. I’m sure you know that.

Jess.

Donghae was flooding her with messages of forgiveness all of which were sincere and true from his heart. He wanted to talk with her but Jessica would just ignore him. He tried on calling her but Jessica would just easily end the phone conversations even before Donghae would say a single syllable. Everything, for Donghaw, was turning into a disaster. Losing the chance on Tiffany, he has to admit, was nothing compared with what was happening as of the moment. Jessica was his best friend. The thought of losing her was painful enough for him that he would die.

I don’t think I would survive without you, Jess.

My best friend.

We promised, in grade school, that our friendship will last forever, right?

Jess.

There was not a single night when Donghae would not think of Jessica. His feelings for Tiffany, he was not fully aware, faded away as the time went by. He, then, finally realized that probably he was just attracted with the girl. Because if it was love, he told himself, then my feelings for her should have never changed. Because if it was love, my heart should have asked for her every minute and every second of my life. Because of it was love, it should last forever.

It was only a few months has passed since he had last talked to her but it seemed like a hundred or even a thousand years for him.

After a lot of tries, Donghae was finally able to trap Jessica and was forced to listen to his words after assuring her that he won’t bug her anymore just this time.

The Jung stood in front of him with her arms crossed and her eyes wandering at any direction but at him.

“Look. I’m sure you’re fully aware that I’m bad with words so I’m sorry if I may sound… awkward.” Donghae started.

“Jessica, I… am really sorry. It was a mistake, a very big mistake.” He spoke each word sincerely and Jessica could feel that. “I was wrong, and I know I deserve a punishment… but, Jessica, losing you is unbearable. There was not a single night that I don’t think of you. And it was awful. Meeting you by the hallway and passing along the way like we’re just strangers hurt me a lot. I cannot take the pain of not being with you.. of losing you, Jess. You’re.. You’re my best friend.”

He took a careful step towards her as he knelt to the ground and reached for her hand. Jessica was obviously surprised with his act but was not able to move or even utter a word nonetheless.

“I have realized something I should’ve seen myself a long time ago.” He softly placed a kiss on her hand, and stared at her eyes, “Soojung, my heart tells me it has been you all along.”

Without prior notice, Jessica’s tears started to fall, barely absorbing with what was happening right now.

Donghae stood up and brushed Jessica’s cheeks, “Uhmm..” he said awkwardly, “I’m sorry for being stupid.”

With tears still falling from her eyes, Jessica was more than glad that her best friend has finally realized that thing—well, before the end of the world, that is.

“Hnnnnn.. I thought I was already losing you.” Jessica whispered, still crying.

Donghae put his arms around her and patted her head softly. Jessica hugged him back, her tears still falling nonstop since she was not able to suppress those tears any longer, holding him tighter and feeling the warmth of his love.

“I thought the same thing, too.” He whispered, “But I love you so much, Jessica. I can’t afford to lose you.”

Jessica still cried—her tears had probably strained Donghae’s shirt.

His shirt deserves it, after all, the owner of this shirt was the only boy I ever shed a tear for. Lee Donghaewas the onlyreason why I cry myself to sleep every single night of my life.

Well, I don’t think I’d shed another tear again tonight anyway.

Author's Note: Writing this oneshot made me realize that the love i have for HaeFany is the same as the love i also have for HaeSica. I was slightly confused in the past few days which couple i am a fan more. Guess it's already settled now. Drop a comment, loves!

I'm sorry if i haven't posted any oneshot from the requests. I'd be posting one the next time i'll update though. So keep the requests coming, guys!^^ xoxo, Valerie~

P.S. I have changed the name of the shop. I hope you don't mind <3

4-10-12

Disclaimer: Graphics used not mine. Credits to owner.