Chapter 16

JB POV

Part 2 Continued

 ____________________________________________________

Everyone was asleep when I woke up, the alarm loud in my ear. I quickly turned it off and sighed, moving a little only to jump up and stare down at Youngjae. I watched him sleeping deeply, the sound from the alarm not waking him up as usual. 

 

Just a few seconds ago I had him in a tight hug. 

 

He didn't push me away. I guess he's tired too. 

 

I stared hard at him, only moving my eyes towards BamBam and Yugyeom when they moved slightly and whined about the alarm I turned off minutes ago. 

 

I stared at my hands, then at Youngjae who was curled up in a ball, so close to me that I could tell that I probably pulled him into the position.

 

I held him tight this time didn't I? 

 

I really do it unconsciously. Until I wake up I don't know what I'm doing. But it's always something to Youngjae. Before he used to try to get me off of him, but now I don't even feel the tug of my arm, or shaking of my shoulder.

 

It's like he's become used to it.

 

Which is weird but good.

 

Well I've become used to it.

 

Which is even weirder but better. 

 

With the embarrassing thoughts I sighed and yawned before getting up to go use the shower.

 

After showering I silently walked into Jackson's room to find something to wear, not wanting to wear the same clothes from the other day. It gets hot and sweaty in the practice room, so clothes never make it in there.

 

Mark woke up for a few minutes and I told him I was leaving. He just nodded and quickly went back to sleep.

 

He was the only one to see me go. I thought of waking Youngjae, but instead I left him to his deep sleep. He looked tired. They all looked tired.

 

I arrived at the company a little late, but since I'm often early, I didn't get yelled at.

 

We started the usual quickly. Some of the artists are having a comeback with dancing finally, but because we don't know exactly who we're going to be dancing for until the last minute usually, they have us learn the dance moves for all the upcoming comebacks.

 

We're also expected to learn the dances for comebacks we aren't in, just in case we're needed. 

 

I don't mind really, because dancing is what I like to do. I think Yugyeom would like it too.

 

I remember one of the managers asking me once if I have ever thought of acting and though it sounds interesting, I think my focus now is dancing.

 

If I start suddenly thinking of acting I really won't have time to see the guys at all, and I can't risk that. I have another life I always think about and I don't want it to end up with me being stuck working all day with no chance of seeing the people who are close to me.

 

My family already calls me complaining that I don't call them more often.

 

Even if I rarely see Youngjae, I don't want that to happen to us.

 

Three hours later and we got our first break. 

 

It's during this break that the only two dance instructors working suddenly had to leave. It's something that usually never happens so we were surprised.

 

We stayed, continuing to practice the dances for a few more hours before the manager eventually told us we could leave. This was because many of the artists were leaving for their schedules.

 

Suddenly I thought that if I could get down on my knees and thank the manager I would.

 

I felt so tired. Staying up later than usual the other night and having to wake up so early today wasn't the best idea.

 

I quickly checked the time, smiling wide. It's the earliest we've ever been let go, not that we usually get chances to leave early. I was ready to go home and get the sleep I missed by waking up so early.

 

With sleep in my eyes I drove home directly, making no stops, even though my stomach told me I should. Sleep took over hunger. I quickly drove home and quietly walked into my building and towards the elevator to my floor.

 

Youngjae is starting to surprise me a lot.

 

There he was, standing in front of my door. His face instantly lit up and he waved at me. 

 

"Hyung." he said when I got closer. "I called earlier. Are you busy? Should I leave?" he asked.

 

I opened the door to my room without replying and pushed him inside. Youngjae stumbled, laughing as he pulled his shoes off with me and followed me inside. I threw my bag somewhere, took hold of his hand, and with a bit of questioning by him, the next I knew I pushed him on the bed and fell down besides him, not missing his wide eyes.

 

"What are you-"

 

I felt the push to my shoulder, and the panic in his voice.

 

"Jae-Jaebum...hyung."

 

It sounded like the first time Youngjae used my full name. I could laugh and pull him into a sudden hug but I felt so tired.

 

"Let me sleep." I managed to get out.

 

It was a few minutes before I finally felt shaking hands slowly wrap around me.

 

I smiled and instantly fell asleep.

_______________________________________________________

I woke up to darkness, laying still as I realized that the space Youngjae should be laying in was empty. I could hear the TV from outside my room. The pots and pans sound was louder though. 

 

What is he doing? Is he cooking?

 

I wondered and wanted to go check if Youngjae was really cooking, but couldn't get up, even closing my eyes once again. I fell asleep for a second time before finally being woken up by shaking to my shoulder.

 

"Are you going to sleep the whole night hyung? You need to eat." I heard Youngjae's voice. He shook my shoulder some more before I felt a hesitant hand in my hair.

 

He's being sneaky stealing touches.

 

I chuckled.

 

His hand pulled away quickly.

 

"So you are awake hyung. I ordered some food. Get up. I don't want to eat without you." he said.

 

"You ordered food?" I asked.

 

"Yeah. Your favorite." he replied.

 

"Soup?"

 

A short silence passed. I chuckled again, opening my eyes. 

 

"Your other favorite." Youngjae said laughing.

 

"Chicken." 

 

"Yes. Get up. I never thought I would be the one waking you up." Youngjae said. I could feel the heat coming from his body for a few more moments before he got up and walked out of the room.

 

I sighed and opened my eyes wider, a yawn escaping.

 

He smells nice.   

 

I felt my embarrassment coming at the thought. With hands covering my face I lifted myself up and yawned loudly once again.

 

I used the bathroom first before going back into my room to change clothes. I realized I fell asleep with the same sweaty clothes I was dancing in. 

 

Youngjae already set everything up on the table in front of the TV. He sat down flipping channels, obviously really waiting for me. Nothing looked like it was touched.

 

"I made some rice too." he said when he saw me. "My mom made some kimchi and she gave me some to bring to you." he continued.

 

I looked down at the bowls of rice, two boxes of chicken, and kimchi sides. 

 

What an odd combination. So that's why he was standing in front of my door. Not to come see me...he needed to give me kimchi...

 

I frowned and walked up to him, sitting down in silence. 

 

Youngjae pushed the box of fried chicken in front of me and then took a wing from the other box and started eating. I chuckled and shook my head, grabbing a wing as well.

 

"Where did you get the money to buy this?" I asked.

 

"Huh?" he turned towards me.

 

"This chicken. The money." I said.

 

He looked at me confused.

 

"I worked the whole summer at Mark hyung's restaurant don't you remember? Huh...hyung you're really an airhead like Yugyeom says."

 

"You know I don't like that word." I said smirking as an image of that giant Yugeyom popped into mind. 

 

"You don't?" Youngjae asked chuckling.

 

"Yeah, so don't use it." I replied.

 

"I want to use it." he said laughing. 

 

I lunged for him and with a loud laugh Youngjae tried to pull away from me apologizing over and over.

 

I stared at him in my arms, his shoulders hunched over, his right hand grabbing his ear, something new I've noticed he does when he gets scared or surprised so suddenly. 

 

I stared at his neck, where a mole sat perfectly. I stared at it so hard. I didn't know what really came over me. I leaned down and kissed the mole. 

 

It took Youngjae a while to react but he did and quickly pulled away, a hand covering his neck. He didn't say anything, couldn't look me in the eyes either as he grabbed another chicken and started nibbling on it.

 

"Sorry." I apologized even if I didn't want to. 

 

"No...don't apologize." Youngjae suddenly said.

 

I looked at him a little surprised. He refused to look at me but slowly I felt a shaking hand grab my own and I laughed.

 

We continued eating in silence. He didn't talk about any of the guys, which made me happy. It was really only just the two of us.

 

I pushed Youngjae to sit down and cleaned up after we finished. Surprising myself even more when I piled some apples and oranges onto a plate and brought them back with me.

 

Youngjae clapped when he saw.

 

I smiled and sat down next to him once again, pushing a orange towards him.

 

"Peel this." I said.

 

He stared at it for a few seconds before laughing and taking it from me. 

 

While he was doing that I tried to peel off the skin of the apples like how Jinyoung tried to teach me once, but I failed. Half of it was with skin and half not.

 

Youngjae laughed and shrugged.

 

"I can't do it either." he said.

 

We laughed, sitting and watching TV for the rest of the night. It was something I have been waiting for since I confessed. The alone time with Youngjae I needed.

 

I almost wanted to thank him for not continuing to avoid me at least for the night. Youngjae even apologized when he pulled away too aggressively from me pulling him towards me and kissing him. It made me happier for some reason. 

 

That night was only the two of us and I always end up thinking about it a lot.

 

______________________________________________________

I caught a sudden cold a few weeks later. It started with just a few sneezes here and there, but then my body began heating and I could barely move without coughing. I went in to work to tell the situation after my head started pounding in pain. They gave me a week off to see if anything changes.

 

Unlike the artists, we get long breaks when we're sick because someone else will be taking over. Since there are a lot of us, someone will take my place and get paid instead of me while I'm out sick. They make us practice all the dance moves for a reason.

 

The first two days were horrible. I could barely move and my head really hurt. I had no strength to get up to make anything so I ordered food. I ordered a lot of food.

 

It was the third day when I picked up my phone and turned it on, remembering I turned it off a few days ago because of my headache.

 

There were a few calls from the guys, but what I noticed most was Youngjae. There were plenty of messages from Youngjae. And then calls where he left messages asking if I was alright that he hadn't heard from me and Jinyoung didn't know where I was. He said he came by but I didn't answer the door.

 

I smiled. His writing looked panicked. Youngjae must of came by when I was sleeping. I can barely hear the front door when I'm in my room and my door is closed.  

 

Why didn't he just use the passcode?

 

The problem with Youngjae is that he never uses the passcode to my apartment room, even if he knows it. He would rather wait for me, not wanting to just walk in without me with him.

 

When he told me, I scolded him for being an idiot. 

 

I think that it creates a wall between us. Even if it doesn't, it's what I believe. And I'm waiting for the day he just walks in without calling or waiting for me at the door.

 

I listened to the other voicemails. Jackson was asking about some class I had before. BamBam and Yugyeom wanted to hang out. They also sounded worried that I haven't contacted them. I usually send a message or call to check up on them.

 

Mark called asking me where I was because Youngjae called him asking, and Jinyoung left a very detailed message about how I was abandoning my lover and Youngjae is sad even though he won't admit it.

 

Though it made me feel bad, I smiled at the thought that Youngjae was so worried about me not answering him that he called everyone asking for me. 

 

I dialed Jinyoung first. He yelled at me for a few moments before I could tell him I was sick. He replied by yelling at me some more before saying he's coming over with Youngjae. I didn't want Youngjae to see me looking so weak but I actually really wanted to see him.

 

So I dialed Youngjae next. As usual though, he didn't pick up.

 

This guy.

 

I sighed.

 

He might be in class.

 

I fell on my couch where I set up a bunch of pillows and blankets the other day when I realized it would be hard hearing the door and getting out of bed when I ordered food.

 

A few minutes into me closing my eyes my phone rang, and I picked it up to hear Youngjae asking if I was okay, and why I didn't tell him I was sick.

 

"Are you out of class?" I asked, ignoring his question. 

 

A short silence passed.

 

"I managed to sneak out of class." he replied.

 

"What? Are you sure you wanted to do that?" I asked.

 

"You're sick. If I was sick...or if any of us were sick you would do the same. Jr hyung and I are coming right now. Just lay down we will be there." he said.

 

I noticed I was smiling wide.

 

Another short silence passed.

 

"I missed you. I want to see you." I couldn't stop myself from saying such cheesy words.

 

Another short silence passed, a longer one from the first though. I could hear Youngjae's breathing.

 

"I'm coming." he finally replied before hanging up. My smile widened. He didn't say we're coming, but I'm coming. The thought made me giggle, then I scolded myself for acting in such a way.

 

Youngjae is becoming so mature isn't he?

 

"My mature Youngjae." I whispered, closing my eyes.

 

Why am I saying such cheesy words recently? 

 

It was an hour later when I heard my doorbell and then there was a pause as the passcode was put in. I walked to the door to meet Jinyoung and Youngjae holding bags full of grocery.

 

"You finally used the passcode." I smirked at Youngjae.

 

"I did." Jinyoung said. "I told him he's an idiot for not using it if he was so worried that he even called me to ask where you were. I thought you went over to your parents again."

 

I glanced at Youngjae who looked a little embarrassed.

 

"Are you going to use it from now on?" I asked him.

 

He nodded.

 

I found it funny because only now that I'm sick is he agreeing to use it now.

 

Well...a wall broken.

 

I smirked at him

 

"You're sick aren't you? We're here to take care of you. Youngjae didn't want to come alone." Jinyoung suddenly said.

 

I watched as Youngjae lightly hit him on the shoulder, something I rarely see. Jinyoung just laughed and pushed by me, walking straight for the kitchen with the bags. I stared at Youngjae for a little bit. He was embarrassed. His head suddenly lowered so low that I couldn't tell how he looked exactly. 

 

I want to hug him...but I don't want to scare him. 

 

I stared at Youngjae longer, hoping maybe he would get the courage to hug me. After a few minutes with me staring at him, I smiled slowly and sighed.

 

He's still a bit shy isn't he?

 

"Well come make me feel better." I joked, patting his shoulder.

 

"H-hyung..." he whined. I laughed. Recently he's been wanting to see me a lot, which makes me even more happy. It seems our roles have changed. Instead of me going after him, it seems Youngjae is coming after me finally.

 

Did I manage to make him like me back finally?

 

"Come back in here you sick person. You have to lay down. Don't spread it. You even called in sick right? By the way, how did you manage to get a whole week off just for being sick? Isn't the idol world shady business?" Jinyoung asked.

 

I walked to the couch where I had a pillow and blanket and laid back down, a cough escaping me quickly.

 

"I'm not an idol. It's easier for us. I always come in on time and every single day too. I never suddenly call off and I dance for a lot of the artists." I said.

 

"So you got special treatment?" Jinyoung asked.

 

"I wouldn't call it special treatment. I just think they didn't want it to spread. Besides, there are many others who can take over for my parts. They do it that way. I don't get paid though." I replied, a sneeze quickly escaping me.

 

"Hyung maybe you shouldn't talk so much." Youngjae said walking up to me. He looked so worried. I like that he was so worried about me, that he came to see me because he is worried.

 

"Ok. I won't talk." I agreed with him smiling.

 

"We'll try to make you some soup so rest." he said lightly. 

 

It made me smile even more.

 

"Look at you getting even more special treatment. Youngjae even asked his mom for the recipe and practiced at hom-"

 

"Hyung!" Youngjae yelled.

 

Jinyoung laughed and I couldn't help but laugh too. Truly this can only happen between the three of us because Jinyoung knows the most about my feelings towards Youngjae. I only ever talk about Youngjae with him now.

 

"Ok. Ok. Let's start cooking. BamBam and Yugyeom are coming over later. Mark hyung and Jackson have work." Jinyoung said.

 

"They got a job?" I asked.

 

"No. Mark is going to the usual and Jackson runs a few errands at school now." Jinyoung replied.

 

I nodded, a bit sad that I didn't know about it at all. Mark and Jackson do work hard though, since they are here by themselves. 

 

"Don't worry. We're all busy." Jinyoung quickly said. "Now stop talking so Youngjae can stop worrying."

 

"Hey..." I said, a bit embarrassed.

 

Jinyoung just turned to look at me, winking. I smirked and shook my head. 

 

"I'm thirsty. What kind of drinks do you have in there?" he suddenly asked.

 

I shrugged.

 

"I haven't been home a lot so I don't remember." I replied. "You were in there earlier." 

 

"I didn't look." he said.

 

Jinyoung stood up and walked into the kitchen. Youngjae and I just watched him for a few minutes before turning towards the TV in our usual silence.

 

"I'm glad you came." the words quickly left my mouth.

 

Youngjae slowly lifted his head, and we caught eyes.

 

"You're sick." he said.

 

I smirked and nodded.

 

"But I'm sorry I've been ignoring you." he apologized.

 

My eyes went wide because he admitted it.

 

I lifted my hand and it landed in his hair. He didn't pull away but looked at me. "I know how you feel." he said. "I just get embarrased sometimes."

 

"And how do you feel?" I asked him.

 

How do you feel about me? Am I pushing you?

 

"I-I don't know hyung...but...I like being around you." he said.

 

I smiled at his sudden courage to tell me what he's truly feeling.

 

With that I turned back to the TV.

 

"JB hyung." he suddenly called out to me.

 

"Hm?"

 

Before I knew it Youngjae was leaning in close to me. His finger came towards my face. I flinched a little in nervousness when a finger touched the side of my lip.

 

"You have food here." he said, wiping it off the side of my lip.

 

He looked so calm doing it. He didn't look at me and he also didn't seem so nervous to touch me.

 

I watched him as he turned back to the TV in silence. 

 

My heart started beating so quickly.

 

Is he as nervous as I am right now. If feels like we're alone again. I have a feeling to touch him.

 

I glanced at him, the crown of his head facing me as he watched TV.

 

I can't do that...Youngjae is still a child. 

 

Aren't you the one that said he's not innocent? You're a couple now right? It's been a year, almost two. It's perfectly normal isn't it?

 

My own thoughts started fighting against each other.

 

"What is it?" Youngjae suddenly turned to me. Our eyes caught quickly.

 

"Huh?" I stared at him.

 

He laughed loudly.

 

After he calmed down he looked at me, his eye lowering away from me.

 

"You always stare at me. It makes me nervous." he admitted.

 

I was shocked. He could tell I was shocked. 

 

"Sorry." I merely apologized, not knowing what else to say. 

 

It became awkward.

 

Of course, we're a couple right? Of course it will become awkward. My thoughts from earlier...Youngjae sitting right in front of me, but I can't do anything because I don't want to scare him or push him away. He hasn't confessed to me like I have yet. He doesn't know his feelings towards me yet.

 

I can't scare him.

 

I can't-

 

"You have nothing but bottles of water. I looked everywhere. You usually have cola. We didn't buy any drinks." Jinyoung suddenly said. He walked up to us and sat down next to Youngjae.

 

"I haven't had time to go buy anything." I replied, glad I got my attention off of Youngjae and whatever I wanted to do. 

 

"Then let's start making something. He really doesn't have anything but snacks. Come on Youngjae, you're the one that argued with your mom to teach you." he pointed at Youngjae.

 

I felt my face become hot.

 

He really did that for me? 

 

"H-hyung..." Youngjae followed after a laughing Jinyoung to the kitchen. 

 

I laughed, a small cough escaping.

 

I don't even know how I suddenly got sick. I'm guessing one of the dancers passed around a cold. I remember one of us sneezing a lot a couple of weeks ago.

 

I really hate it, but if it means I can see the guys.

 

If I can see Youngjae more than usual, then I can be sick for a few days.

______________________________________________________

I fell asleep.

 

I didn't know until I woke up quickly to the sound of my name being called out. I came face to face with Youngjae.

 

"Sorry, that was loud. You wouldn't wake up so Jr hyung told me to yell." he said, chuckling lightly. I noticed his defensive arms that automatically crossed around his chest, his fingers lightly touching his right ear.

 

When I lift my hand towards him Youngjae laughs loudly, his hands up for defense across his chest before, but now he grabs his ear and lowers his shoulders.

 

I want to laugh every time he does it, and I do.

 

"I'm up. I'm up." I said.

 

Youngjae continued laughing. 

 

"J-JB hyung..." he said chuckling now.

 

"What?" I asked, a little amused at his appearance. He was wearing an apron, one that I keep around just in case. Jinyoung must of gave it to him.

 

The apron looked like Youngjae worked really hard because of food stains. It amused me.

 

"You were saying something in your sleep. I didn't hear so I came closer..." he said, still laughing.

 

What did I do? 

 

"JB hyung..." he paused.

 

I watched as he tilted his head and closed his eyes.

 

"Ungg...no...no...." he mumbled.

 

I couldn't keep my laugh in.

 

"You kept saying no." he said. "What were you saying no for?" he asked staring at me.

 

I laughed harder, covering my mouth. 

 

"So I asked what's wrong and and-" 

 

Youngjae tilted his head and closed his eyes again. "No...I'm....I'm hungry. What do I do? What should I do? I'm hungry...no..." 

 

We laughed together. 

 

Was I really doing that? 

 

"So Jr hyung told me to hurry and wake you up." Youngjae said laughing. "I guess you haven't eaten yet. You're still sick so I'll bring the food." he said, still laughing.

 

He got up and walked away. I stared at him.

 

He'll bring the food? Should I really get sick more often? 

 

"What was I doing in my sleep?" I whispered to myself, running my hand through my hair and chuckling. Youngjae looked so amused. I like seeing him laugh so much.

 

He came back with a tray of bowls, putting them down one by one on the table in front of me and pushing the table towards me so I could reach. He instantly handed me my bowl of rice.

 

"Why don't you feed him while you're at it." Jinyoung suddenly said laughing. "BamBam and Yugyeom are almost here. They had to take a bus." he continued.

 

"I could have picked them up." I said.

 

Jinyoung just laughed and Youngjae looked away, chuckling.

 

"Idiot hyung..." I heard him mumble. I would pull him into a playful neck hold, but I didn't really want to make my cold any worse, and I'm trying to not be so rough with Youngjae and the guys lately.

 

"Hey..." I mumbled back.

 

Youngjae started giggling before stepping back, his arms raised as he apologized.

 

"J-just eat hyung. There's more rice if you want some." he said before disappearing back into the kitchen.

 

"He worked so hard making this for you. It took so long because he didn't trust himself so he looked up videos, even though I said I'll help him." Jinyoung said laughing.

 

"He works so hard." I said, lifting up the tray. 

 

I took a small sip of the soup and a wide smile appeared on my face.

 

He says he doesn't know how to cook, and he really doesn't, but when Youngjae tries it's really tasty. 

 

"Is it good?" Jinyoung asked.

 

"It is." I replied.

 

"Good. Tell him that. He worked really hard. Got a few cuts even. I tried to stop him from using the knife but he wouldn't let me help him with some things." Jinyoung said.

 

"Well, he's not a child." I said, a bit worried that Youngjae got some cuts.

 

"He's not. He's really grown up since I first met him. He's trying a lot of new things that I don't think he would of done before. He's showing his feelings more too..." Jinyoung paused. "We talked about you." he said.

 

My eyes went wide.

 

"What did he sa-"

 

"I put away BamBam and Yugyeom's bowl of rice. I'm hungry so I'm eating now." Youngjae's voice surrounded the room as Jinyoung glanced at me and winked.

 

"I won't tell you." he mouthed.

 

I sighed.

 

Youngjae sat down in front of me on the floor with his bowl. He began eating quickly, and I watched him...hard.

 

I didn't even hear the doorbell, but next thing I knew I snapped from my staring as I was pulled into a hug. BamBam pulled at me.

 

"Hyunggg..." he whined.

 

"Eww..." Yugyeom said.

 

Youngjae laughed and I chuckled and pulled BamBam off.

 

"What are you doing you'll catch my cold." I said.

 

"So you really are sick. Not even my cuteness will work." BamBam said.

 

"Since when has your cuteness ever worked?" I asked laughing.

 

BamBam pouted.

 

"Let's eat." Yugyeom said, pulling him up. I watched them walking to the kitchen for a few minutes before turning back to look at Youngjae, who was chuckling while trying to keep the food in his mouth.

 

How do I like this person?

 

I chuckled. 

 

"Jackson and Mark hyung called. They want to come too, said they will be here after work later tonight." BamBam said. He came back with Yugyeom, their bowls of rice in their hands. 

 

BamBam and Yugyeom sat down next to Youngjae, who had turned back towards the TV to watch some singing show. Jinyoung managed to push me aside to sit on the couch, but not so close to me to catch my cold. 

 

"So how long is JB hyung going to be home from work?" Yugyeom asked, when a commercial came on. He turned towards me, making BamBam and Youngjae look at me too.

 

"They gave me a week, or until I get better since someone took my place." I sighed. 

 

"That's the first time I heard a job doing that. My job makes me come even when I'm sick." Jinyoung whined.

 

"It's different when working in the idol world right?" Yugyeom asked.

 

I nodded.

 

"Backup dancers have it easy. The idols have to work even when they can't move. I find it hard for them." I admitted.

 

"Really? I was thinking of auditioning to become a singer." 

 

We turned to Youngjae.

 

"Actually, me too." Jinyoung said.

 

We looked at him. 

 

"Just to try it out." he said.

 

"I want to try it out too, but I won't stop school. I need to finish school for my parents." Youngjae said.

 

"You don't have to." Yugyeom looked at him.

 

"I want to." he said.

 

"After you finish with university you have to do service though right?" BamBam asked. 

 

Youngjae nodded and laughed.

 

"I'll audition and if I fail I'll go to service." he said, still laughing.

 

"I'll do it with you." 

 

Eight eyes turned to me and I smiled.

 

"We should do it together right?" I suggested.

 

BamBam laughed.

 

"That's right. We can become a team." he said. 

 

"I don't think it works like that but we can try." Jinyoung said laughing. 

 

A short silence passed where we turned back to the TV. 

 

"Let's play rock, paper, scissors to see who washes the dishes." Jinyoung suddenly suggested.

 

"Hyung...that's not fair...we didn't cook." BamBam whined.

 

"But you ate something right? Come on." Jinyoung said.

 

Youngjae laughed loudly.

 

We played more than once before Yugyeom lost. We cheered at the giant maknae and his loss. Yugyeom usually always wins so when he does lose at something it's always for our enjoyment.

 

After whining a little he disappeared to the kitchen with all of the dirty bowls.  

 

"I think we should-" 

 

Sudden banging on the door interrupted BamBam and his phone rang. 

 

"Jackson hyung is so loud..." he mumbled, getting up.

 

He walked to the door.

 

"Leader is sick!" Jackson yelled. Suddenly I was being tugged and pulled at by Jackson. He raised a plastic bag. "I bought everything you like." he said. 

 

I laughed loudly and smiled, nodding.

 

"Don't get too close to him, you'll catch whatever he has." Jinyoung said.

 

"I have to hurry and go pick up coco from a friend's house." Mark suddenly said. "I can't drop Jackson off so Jinyoung-"

 

"I'll drop him off."

 

"How's coco?" Youngjae quickly asked. "Only a few more days and I can see her right?"

 

"I've been getting calls to work a lot more recently. I have to take her to a friend to watch her while I'm gone so I might bring her to your house earlier." Mark said.

 

"I'll come get her." Youngjae said laughing. "Actually my mom has been whining. She's been at home more and says she misses coco but we almost had a fight about keeping her remember?" he asked.

 

Really?

 

"You can come with me tonight to see her." Mark said.

 

Youngjae and I instantly caught eyes. He smiled. 

 

"I will come get her in a few days." he replied Mark.

 

It surprised me. Youngjae loves coco. The little puppy is like his daughter just like Nora is mine. 

 

Maybe I should really get sick more often.

 

The thought made me smirk as I shook my head in frustration and pushed Jinyoung away to lay down.

 

"What's wrong with you?" he asked.

 

"I'm going now. Jaebum? You okay?" Mark asked me. "I'm fine. I just need some sleep." I replied.

 

"Ok. Call me if you need anything." Mark said.

 

I nodded and watched Youngjae walk with him to the door before coming back. In that time Jackson seemed to have snuck into the kitchen to find something to eat. I'm surprised he managed to find anything. 

 

BamBam told Jackson about auditioning and he was in it too, even saying he would convince Mark.

 

"You didn't answer me earlier." Jinyoung suddenly said.

 

I glanced at him. The others were busy watching the singing show that's been on for almost a hour and a half since Youngjae and Jinyoung arrived. 

 

I shook my head and smiled.

 

"Sleepy..." I mumbled.

 

"Then go to sleep. Jackson brought you some medicine." Jinyoung reached for the bag Jackson brought.

 

"Hey. BamBam."

 

BamBam turned around making the others also look at me.

 

"Hyung..." the smile left Youngjae's face. I've honestly never seen him so worried. He looked as if I was dying. 

 

He looks really worried but I'm glad I get to see his worried face some more. Next I want to see his crying face.

 

I've wondered about his crying face. Since Youngjae always seems to be happy, I always wonder about how he's truly feeling, and it frustrates me because he doesn't tell me. 

 

He keeps it all from us, whatever he's really feeling.

 

When Jackson used to playfully bully him I caught the small change in expression before he laughed it off. I guess I've always wanted Youngjae to show me more, that's why I ended up pulling closer and closer to him. 

 

"I'm fine." I said, a sudden cough escaping me.

 

"BamBam go get some water. Jaebum hyung will take this medicine and we can leave so he can sleep. I'll drop everyone off." Jinyoung said.

 

BamBam quickly got up and headed to the kitchen. A surprising sight, even the two maknaes looked so worried. 

 

I took the medicine and laid down.

 

"What if he wakes up later and no one is here?" BamBam asked.

 

I opened my eyes. I need to start controlling my eyes because instantly I managed to catch Youngjae's eyes.

 

"I'll stay." he suddenly said.

 

"What?"

 

They looked at Youngjae.

 

"Someone needs to be here. I've never missed a school day so I'm sure this once is okay. I'll call my mom." he said.

 

"You sure?" I asked.

 

"He really never misses a class so I'm sure this won't be bad." Yugyeom said. Even he was suggesting it.

 

Youngjae took out his phone and dialed home even before I could protest. Some more coughs escaped me and I gave up, laying there in silence. On the outside I might of looked terrible but on the inside there was a mini me jumping in joy at the thought of more time alone with Youngjae. 

 

"Hyung."

 

I glanced at Youngjae who studdenly stuck his phone out to me.

 

"My mom is worried. She wants to talk to you." he said.

 

I smiled and nodded, taking the phone.

 

She asked me how I felt, if I've eaten, and then apologized because Youngjae didn't tell her earlier. 

 

I finished talking to her soon enough and handed Youngjae his phone. He talked for a few more minutes and nodded at me with a smile on his face.

 

"I'll stay with JB hyung tonight. Tomorrow morning my mom said she's coming over. I didn't want to fight with her." he said.

 

I nodded.

 

"We're leaving now." Jinyoung said. 

 

Youngjae chuckled.

 

"Jackson hyung." he hit Jackson on the chest and laughed at his shocked face.

 

"Hyung your just going to leave the bowl here?" he asked him. 

 

"This. Even though I'm the hyung. Youngjae has grown hasn't he?" Jackson made a funny face before picking up his bowl and disappearing into the kitchen. 

 

He came back soon enough.

 

"Happy? Are you happy now Choi Youngjae?" he asked. He was exaggerating his movements, which made Youngjae just laugh and nod.

 

"I'm happy." he said.

 

"Here." Jinyoung suddenly handed Jackson his keys.

 

"Huh?" they looked at him. 

 

"I'll be out in a few minutes. I left some books here the other time." he said.

 

The three guys nodded and walked out, but I knew Jinyoung had something under his sleeve. He did leave some books on the table a few months ago, but he hasn't mentioned them once.

 

Why now?

 

After BamBam, Yugyeom, and Jackson left, it was left with Jinyoung, Youngjae, and me once again. 

 

"Where did you leave the books hyung?" Youngjae asked.

 

"I put them in my room." I quickly said. "In the closet in my black shoulder bag." 

 

"Youngjae come with me." Jinyoung pulled Youngjae up and I watched them disappear into my room. I sneezed a few times and sighed, getting up to go get some more tissues when I stopped.

 

Jinyoung and Youngjae were standing outside my room. They found the books so quickly. Youngjae's back was facing me. I could hear that Jinyoung was telling him something about his moles.

 

"That's a sudden question hyung...I've never counted to be honest." Youngjae replied.

 

I'm interested in knowing too. 

 

With the thought in mind I walked closer to the two, realizing I kept the tissues in my room a few days ago when I was stuck in there.

 

Jinyoung laughed and shook his head as I got closer to Youngjae's back. 

 

"Make sure you take care of Jaebum hyung, he's really sick." he said.

 

I smirked.

 

"If he'll listen to me. I'll force him to stay asleep. Colds are the worst. I hope I don't catch it too. His voice already sounds bad." Youngjae said.

 

"But you just can't leave right?" Jinyoung asked.

 

"I said before that I can't leave him all alone."  Youngjae replied. This is when I caught eyes with Jinyoung and he winked. "That's what he said." he mumbled laughing.

 

"Huh? What did you say? Why are you laughing like that?" Youngjae said, chuckling lightly.

 

I quickly remembered Jinyoung talking about how they were talking about me earlier when I was asleep. 

 

I took another step towards Youngjae, trying to not catch his attention. I was so close behind him, surprised he couldn't tell I was.

 

Jinyoung just continued laughing.

 

"What is it?" Youngjae continued asking.

 

All of a sudden, before I could really stop myself, I leaned down towards the familiar mole on the side of his neck and kissed it. He quickly turned around shocked, his hand covering the place I kissed. 

 

I found myself smirking at his shocked and embarrased face. Youngjae lifted his hand and I stepped back from him before he could hit me. 

 

"JB hyung!" he yelled.

 

I just laughed, coughing a little.

 

"What's this? It's blossomed!" Jinyoung said laughing loudly. "I didn't think it has come this far." 

 

"Hyung! You planned this." Youngjae said. I didn't know who he was saying it to but he looked at the both of us as he said it.

 

"Planned what? You are a couple now. It's normal. But it's going fast I see." Jinyoung said. He wanted to laugh again. I saw it in his face.

 

Youngjae became even more embarrased at those words. I could tell. He glanced at me with a familiar face before lightly tapping Jinyoung's shoulder and walking away towards the bathroom. 

 

Jinyoung caught eyes with me and laughed, shaking his head as he pointed towards the bathroom.

 

I winked and walked after Youngjae.

 

The bathroom door was closed so I knocked and leaned on it, feeling a little dizzy from standing so much.

 

He didn't respond so I opened the door. He was standing in front of the sink, splashing water on his face.

 

"D-don't come in." he quickly said.

 

I almost stopped.

 

"Why?" I asked.

 

"I don't want there to be a misunderstanding." he replied.

 

"What misunderstanding? What are you talking about?" I asked, getting closer and closer to him until there was only a few inches of space between us.

 

He lowered his head.

 

"You came to take care of me right?" I asked, another cough escaping me. I needed to lay down. I felt dizzy all of a sudden. 

 

He lifted his head and I smiled at him. Not moments later did a smile appear on his face too. 

 

He chuckled and shook his head before hitting me on the chest lightly. I caught his hand before he could hit me again. 

 

"What's wrong with you? Why did you run all the way here? And why are you hitting a sick person?" I asked.

 

"Maybe I had to use the bathroom." he replied chuckling.

 

"Hey."

 

He glanced at me and shook his head.

 

"I'm shy." he admitted. "Jr hyung thinks...he thinks we did something weird..." he paused. "Because you suddenly did something weird in front of him JB hyung. What were you thinking? That was dangerous." he finished staring at me.

 

 I watched as his hand slowly lifted to the side of his neck once again and he looked away from me. I could only laugh. 

 

Youngjae pulled his hand away from his neck and hit me again before walking past me. I caught up to him and stopped him from leaving the bathroom.

 

"Is it really something weird?" I asked. I wanted to know. I needed to know. 

 

How far would he allow our relationship to go? What does he think is weird? How can I make it not weird? How far do I want to go with him? What am I thinking?

 

With the odd thoughts I almost covered my face from embarrassment. 

 

Youngjae didn't reply me for a bit, having his own thoughts.

 

I stared at him for a long time. He seemed to really be in deep thought. My question seems to have made him confused. 

 

"Alright I'm sorry." I apologized, smiling lightly. 

 

He lifted his head and looked at me.

 

"I forgive you." he said. "Sorry." he apologized back.

 

"What are you-"

 

"Nothing." he interrupted me. 

 

"You're sick JB hyung. You were complaining about not being able to work earlier, so just go rest and get better." he quickly said. I couldn't stop him as I was pushed to the couch.

 

Youngjae made me lay down. He even tucked me in. I could only just smile and stare at him.

 

It was as I was falling asleep that I realized that Jinyoung did set it all up. He was gone when Youngjae and I walked out the bathroom. 

 

I made sure to thank him later. 

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I got better a few days after the set up. Youngjae's mom really did come over, and she brought everything, nursing me back to health. I was up and running two days later, calling the company quickly.

 

I started work quickly, realizing I didn't work for a week exactly. 

 

There was a cold going around, so when I returned it became very busy since so many dancers were calling out sick. I didn't have any time at all and spent almost three weeks learning everything I missed in only a week.

 

We were sent all around for showcases, shows, and sometimes we were told to attend fan meetings with the artists.

 

I've had no time at all for the last month. 

 

Youngjae messaged me a lot more, saying he didn't want me to get sick and not tell him again. I asked him to come over between messages, but he replied with not wanting to come over to help me focus and rest. Whatever that means. 

 

I can even tell he's nervous in messages. 

 

He still gets nervous.

 

I saw him briefly when I went over to Jackson and Mark's apartment to pass down a old textbook, and he made sure not to catch eyes with me at all. Maybe because of what happened with Jinyoung, but I really think it's more because he recently got a new computer and is constantly talking about a game he's been playing.

 

Usually I would mind, but the company really gives us no time at all so I'm always way too busy to meet up with him anyway.

 

The second week of the new month was coming around, it became colder, and I soon realized I haven't really been alone with Youngjae since I was sick.

 

I was driving home from the studio one night when I decided to call Yugyeom and BamBam to check up on them. The last I talked to them was a week ago. Unlike Youngjae, BamBam calls a lot, and Yugyeom happens to be with him every time he calls.

 

Yugyeom picked up by the second ring, his loud voice filling my ears.

 

I laughed.

 

"Hey. Hey! What are you doing? Why are you yelling?" I asked him.

 

"BamBam almost made me fall. He's being like a little kid that I have to take care of." Yugyeom quickly replied. "What's up Jaebum hyung?" he asked. He said this in English and I smirked. 

 

"Jackson's been teaching you new English words?" I asked.

 

"Yo. What do you mean man?" he said in English. "Hey. What are you-"

 

"Jaebum hyung!" BamBam's voice filled my ears and I smiled even wider.

 

What are they doing?

 

"Where are you two? It's really late. Do you need me to come pick you up?" I asked.

 

"We're just walking to Yugyeom's house. It's okay we're almost there. Night classes ended really late today." BamBam said.

 

"You should have called me." I said.

 

"We thought you were worki-Hey! Kim Yugyeom!"

 

Once again there was a little commotion before Yugyeom's voice filled my ears.

 

"Hey! You two stop playing around and hurry home. Be careful, it's completely dark outside."

 

"Come on JB, we're not girls." Yugyeom said.

 

I felt a vain pop.

 

"Hey. Kim Yugyeom. I am hyung. JB hyung. Should I come to your house right now and show you?" I asked.

 

There was laughing. I even heard the two high five each other.

 

"You two are doing better than I thought. It's okay, I'll see you soon." I said through a smirk and clenched teeth.

 

There was more movement before they both started laughing even more loudly. I pulled the phone away from my ear a little and clenched a fist.

 

These kids.

 

"Hey! I'll see you two soon so just wait. Hurry home okay? It's late." I said.

 

"Yeah, and hyung? Have you heard from Youngjae hyung?" BamBam suddenly asked.

 

"Hm? Youngjae? We haven't talked. Only some messages why?" my interest suddenly perked up.

 

What happened to Youngjae?

 

Yugyeom's voice came back. "He called me a few days ago asking if we can go with him to watch a new movie that came out but we were busy with night classes so we couldn't and since then-"

 

BamBam's voice appeared again.

 

"Since then, every time we call he won't pick up. We were thinking of just going to his house tomorrow morning before school. What do you think? Does he have class in the morning hyung?" BamBam asked.

 

Damn I still don't know his schedule. I'll just need to ask Jinyoung. 

 

"I'll check on him tomorrow don't worry. I'll tell him you're looking for him."

 

"He's probably obsessed with some game again. He did this a lot before and then his computer crashed and his dad wouldn't get him a new one." Yugyeom said laughing. "He's so obsessed with winning the games." 

 

I chuckled, nodding.

 

"He told me he got a new computer." I said.

 

"Then that must be it!" Yugyeom yelled.

 

"Ok. Ok. I'll check on him. You two just hurry home and go to school on time tomorrow." I said.

 

"We made it already. We're being forced to get ready to eat. Gotta go!" BamBam yelled.

 

"Bye..." I mumbled.

 

I hung up and chuckled lightly.

 

"These two..." I murmured to myself. 

 

So Youngjae wants to go see a movie...?

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The first thing I did after waking up, taking a shower, and eating, was immediately call Choi Youngaje.

 

He didn't pick up. I knew he wouldn't. He probably does have morning classes.

 

So I left a message for him to call me back.

 

It was during our second break that he called me back. I got a few minutes with him, telling him to call Yugyeom and BamBam, and then I told him I would call him back later. Our break was almost over.

 

Youngjae wants to go to the movies. 

 

The thought was in my head all day at work, and when we were finally let out I sat in my car, drove straight home, and thought of it some more. 

 

A date. 

 

I realized since I've confessed to Youngjae, we have never actually dated, or went out together on a proper date. We've only met once in a while now at my apartment. 

 

I pulled out my phone and stared at it. 

 

How is it that I've never taken him out somewhere? Well...we are both really busy. But he didn't even tell me he wanted to see a movie. He seemed pretty active in the messages too.

 

Maybe he doesn't want to see it anymore?

 

Staring at the phone I first went online to look at the times for the movie. We could make one that's playing in 2 hours. After finding that out I dialed the familiar number.

 

Youngjae was of course playing games when he picked up. I could hear the familiar loud background noise instantly.

 

"Are you home alone?" I asked.

 

"No. My mom is here. Coco is here too." he replied.

 

"You're playing games?" I asked.

 

"I finished all my work." he replied.

 

I chuckled, shaking my head.

 

"I'm coming to pick you up. Let's go out." I simply said.

 

I didn't give him time to reply before hanging up.

 

He's always playing games now. 

 

After taking a long shower and finding something decent to wear, I made my way back out and towards my car, glad I got a chance to leave the company so early.

 

I got to Youngjae's house fast. I usually get to his house pretty fast.

 

He slowly opened the door, his hair messy, wearing sweat pants and a hoodie. He of course was playing games. He even looked it.

 

I smirked.

 

"Are you going to let me in?" I asked.

 

He nodded and stepped back. I walked inside and quickly coco ran towards me. I picked her up and replied to Youngjae's mom's greeting from the kitchen.

 

"Are you feeling better now? I hope all the medicine I brought worked." his mom walked out from the kitchen, a wide smile on her face.

 

"Thank you mom, it worked a lot." I said smiling back. She nodded and disappeared back into the kitchen. I instantly caught eyes with Youngjae.

 

"Wha-what is it hyung?" he asked nervously, looking away from my eyes.

 

I chuckled and put coco down.

 

"How long have you been playing games? Did you call Yugyeom?" I asked.

 

Youngjae stuck his tongue out and started walking to his room. 

 

"He only calls me to tease me. I've finished all my work so can't I play games?" he asked, turning to me with a small chuckle escaping him.

 

"It's enough. Go shower and find something to wear. Don't you remember what I said?" I asked.

 

"So you were being serious? Where are we going?" he asked.

 

"Hey! Just do as I say." 

 

He paused and stared at me. I crossed my arms and started tapping my foot on the floor and pointing to the clock on his wall.

 

He laughed.

 

"Ok. Ok." he said.

 

Before I knew it he was gone and I picked up coco and walked out of his room towards the kitchen. I asked his mom about the movies and she agreed, happy that finally something can get her son away from the computer screen. 

 

Youngjae was still in the shower when I returned to his room. I sat down in front of his computer and noticed he was really in the middle of a very exciting looking game.

 

"What is this?" I mumbled.

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He came back almost half an hour later, fully dressed, his hair still a little wet.

 

"How long were you planning to take? We don't have time." I said.

 

"I had to dry my hair." he said.

 

"It's still a little wet. You should have just left it really." I said.

 

"It's fine. It will dry." Youngjae said.

 

"Wear a hat. You'll catch a cold."

 

"Ok." he said, laughing.

 

He quickly finished, picking up coco. I checked the times online again and stood up.

 

"Ready?" I asked.

 

"Ready." he replied.

 

"Ok let's go." I said walking out his room. He followed me. 

 

"But hyung..."

 

"Huh?" I looked at him.

 

"Where are we going?" he asked.

 

"The movies." I replied. 

 

"Movies? Why so suddenly?" he asked, carefully putting coco down.

 

"There's this movie you want to see right?" I asked.

 

He became silent. 

 

We went to the kitchen to tell his mom we were leaving before walking out of his house and towards my car.

 

Youngjae silently sat in my car.

 

Why is he so quiet? Is he really thinking so hard about it?

 

"Why didn't you ask me?" I asked him.

 

What am I really to you Youngjae? Do you want any of this from me? You said we could try. Why do I even care so much?

 

Suddenly mixed thoughts and feelings invaded me.

 

"I thought you were busy." he replied.

 

I didn't say anything back. We drove in silence. 

 

I became a little annoyed at him for calling Yugyeom and even BamBam, but not calling me to go see the movie he wanted to see. I wondered if he called any of the other guys and if it's just because he's ignoring me again that he didn't call me to ask.

 

Youngjae stayed as silent as I did and by the middle of the drive I really wanted to talk to him. A chance to talk face to face and I ruined it with my temper.

 

I thought the drive would be completely silent and even thought of playing some music when suddenly he started laughing. I glanced at him. He shook his head and pointed behind him.

 

"Back there...someone was dancing really funny." he said. "Like this..." his arms started moving in wide movements and he did some weird moves. I laughed with him, glad the temper filled silence was gone.

 

A comfortable silence replaced it.

 

Youngjae stayed quiet the rest of the drive until we arrived. We got out of the car and he complained how cold it was, shivering. 

 

"I have a sweater in there." I said pointing to my back seat. "Wear it under you jacket, but it might get hot in there." I said pointing to the building in front of us.

 

"You're right. Let's go in now or I'll freeze." he laughed, running towards the building.

 

I followed him, chuckling.

 

I managed to get our tickets just before the last screening. Youngjae tried to pay for his own but I almost yelled at him not to, maybe the annoyance from earlier still inside me. 

 

He just laughed it off, calling me a weird hyung.

 

I wondered if he knew why I was still a little annoyed.

 

Does he even know this is a date?"

 

"This is weird." he suddenly said, laughing.

 

"Huh?" I looked at him.

 

"It's like a date or something right?" he said.

 

"It is." I replied, handing him the bowl of popcorn and small snacks I bought for us to eat. 

 

He took the food, staring hard at me, the same expression he had for the car ride appeared again.

 

"I did confess didn't I?" I said.

 

"Hyung..." 

 

He looked around in a panic and I laughed.

 

"Come on. Let's go. The movie is about to start." I said.

 

"But don't you think it's weird?" Youngjae asked, following me. "Two guys at the movies, alone together?"

 

"You were going to go with Yugyeom." I said wide eyed, my mouth twitched. I turned away from him and continued walking.

 

What's the difference between Yugyeom and me?

 

"That's right but..."

"For others it's weird..." I stopped and turned around to look at him. "...for us it's not." I said.

 

His ears were already red by the time I turned back around. I found us some good seats and pulled him to sit down. He slowly did, clutching the bowl of popcorn tight.

 

"Don't be so nervous." I whispered. "I heard from Yugyeom that you wanted to see this movie."

 

"I do!" the familiar smile appeared on his face.

 

"Then don't think about anything else." I said, winking.

 

He instantly hit me on the chest, chuckling.

 

"You're so weird JB hyung."

 

I didn't reply, a smile forming on my face.

 

Our first real date since I confessed. 

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