Call Me JB Hyung - Chapter 15

JB POV

Part 2

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It's been a few months since I started working at the new company. BamBam and Yugyeom are in their last year of high school. Jackson, Jinyoung, and Mark are in their third year, and Youngjae, Youngjae somehow managed to convince his parents to let him attend my old university. 

He doesn't want to tell me what department he chose though. He doesn't want to tell any of us. 

Since the new school year started months ago and I began working, I saw Youngjae a lot, not alone but at least I saw him. We would all do what we used to do, gathering in my apartment and playing games or watching TV. 

That was a few months ago.
 

Nowadays I rarely see the guys. I rarely ever see Youngjae most of all, which is odd since it should be BamBam and Yugyeom who I don't get to see often because of their night classes. 

I blame it on my work. I know university has very demanding hours, and being a back up dancer has even more demanding duties.

When I do manage to get some free time though, I've found myself only thinking about getting some alone time with Youngjae.

Not that I don't miss the others as well.

But alone time with Youngjae, just the two of us, like before. Not being embarrassed to hold hands or sit in silence. I only end up thinking about those times before I confessed to him.

I end up wondering if I made a mistake by confessing.

Recently Youngjae has a odd aura around him, making me glare when Jackson gets too close and kisses him on the cheek. Youngjae just laughs it off, but I wonder if he knows what's going through my head when we catch eyes and I'm glaring. 

I don't even really know why I get so easily jealous.

But I do notice Youngjae has more skinship with the others than with me. I think that's one reason why he makes me so easily jealous.
 

I sometimes wonder is he knows he does. I always find myself staring or glancing at him. No wonder Jinyoung even figured it out before I did. I really thought I saw Youngjae as a little brother, not knowing that I only imagined him as a little brother to not admit to myself that my feelings for him were something more.

Jinyoung makes it even more obvious now that Youngjae knows. Every time Youngjae does something considered cute, something he gets embarrassed about, or when he starts singing when Jackson asks him to, both Jinyoung and Jackson will sometimes turn to me with a smirk or a laugh, as if asking me if I saw the cute and embarrassing thing Youngjae just did.

And what else do I do but smile and laugh in return, unable to hide my feelings at all. Something I was great at before.

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When I first began working in the company, I was told that it would be very rare for us to get any breaks or vacations, but we actually have it much more easier than the artists. 

It was a surprise when the managers gathered some of us together a few weeks ago and suddenly told us we have a vacation.

Since I was told about the vacation weeks ago, I'll admit I've spent most of it catching up on some sleep and going to see Nora, but I did often try to call the guys. Meeting up with Jackson, Mark, and Jinyoung a few times.

I even tried to get in touch with Youngjae, my supposed...boyfriend? He sent me a few messages here and there, but we really haven't seen each other or talked at all. 
 

And even though I tell myself it doesn't, it bothers me.

I didn't notice where I was headed until I was already sitting in my car, taking out my phone to call Jinyoung. I finally have weeks of vacation time and I don't even know what to do besides sleep, since the one person I really want to see is someone who focuses so hard on school work and nothing else that I have no chance to see him. That certain someone quickly invades my thoughts though. 

He's probably in class. 

"Hey." 
 

There was a short silence before Jinyoung replied. "Aren't you supposed to be back at work? You're usually in the company at this time." he said.

He sounded like he just woke up, and I could believe it. Youngjae thinks he's the heavy sleeper but Jinyoung sleeps until the very last minute before getting up.

"I still have a vacation. You're trying to get rid of me so fast? They don't need a lot of dancers right now for ballads." I replied him. 
 

"So you have more free time...why are you calling me?"

What does he mean? 

"You're just getting up right?" I asked, looking down at my watch. It was 3pm. I wake up late but not as late as Jinyoung stretches it.

"I have another class in a few hours. Youngjae's about to get out of class soon. Call him." 

"Hey. Hey..."

I was replied with silence. He hung up.
 

I let him run over me too much sometimes. I've known Jinyoung since we were kids, there isn't much of a need for him to call me hyung. He does it sometimes, but I don't go out of my way to tell him to respect me and call me hyung.

It works the same for the others. I sometimes joke and yell like I'm mad, but since our group is so diverse already, we treat each other like friends, and they know when to call me hyung and when to drop the overbearing word.

I wonder when Youngjae will drop it and call me Jaebum-ah...

I looked down at my phone, staring at the familiar number for a few seconds. 

It's not really that I avoid calling Youngjae. It's not really that it's embarrassing for me either. It none of these things. I would rather just talk to him in person than over the phone.

It's more of a comfort for me - wanting to see his face when he's talking to me.

I quickly sent the text I should of sent hours ago, driving around a little before heading straight for the familiar house. Youngjae replied an hour later saying he got off class 30 minutes ago and went to see BamBam and Yugyeom before they went to their night classes.

I took a detour and drove towards the high school, making sure to call for a chicken delivery to my apartment.

Someway, somehow, I will make him come over and stop avoiding me. 

Youngjae was sitting at the very familiar park, waiting for me on the swings. It felt like a familiar day was happening again. We caught eyes and stared at each other before I walked up to him.

His smile brightened as usual after that routine staring game we always do.
 

"Hyung! I thought you would be working." he said excitedly. He started pushing himself on the swing and I sat down on the one next to him, staring at the kids playing. 

"I have a vacation." I said.

"Really?" he asked. He always has a very excited look on his face when talking to me. It makes me wonder exactly what he's thinking about. How he is really feeling?

"For how long?" he asked.

"Huh?" I stared at him.

He laughed, his usual contagious laugh that pulls me into laughing too.

I watched him.

"Hyung you must be sleepy." he said in between laughs. "I asked how long is your vacation." he asked again.

"I'm not sleepy." I replied him.

I had enough sleep already. Can we talk about how we haven't been alone together in months? 

Since I confessed to Youngjae, if that's what you would call it, the two of us haven't had alone time once. He's really avoiding me. Maybe I'm avoiding him too, not knowing what to do with the relationship between us if he doesn't want it.

I don't know what to call the two of us. Youngjae is probably confused, but sometimes I wonder if he knows that I'm just as confused. I like him, but he acts as if I never confessed when we see each other.

It's the first time completely alone in months. 

"Hyung...?"

Say something.

"JB hyung...?"
 

I missed you Youngjae.

"Jaebum hyung." 

"Hm?" I managed to snap myself out of my thoughts to see him staring at me. He stared at me expressionless for a few minutes before he chuckled. 

"What?" he asked.

"Huh?" I replied confused.

Youngjae continued with his chuckles as he hit my shoulder.

"It's you hyung. You were staring at me. What is it?" he asked.

I realized that I was staring at him - hard. Out of sudden embarrassment, I quickly looked away, my hand covering my eyes. Youngjae manages to do this to me sometimes. 

He didn't stop laughing. He seems to really enjoy my embarrassment. 

"Do I have something on my face?" he suddenly asked, rubbing his cheeks and his forehead. 

I watched for a few minutes before chuckling, his laugh catching me hard. We both laughed for a good few minutes before I started swinging on the swings too, following Youngjae's every move. 

He stopped laughing when he suddenly stopped swinging, I of course followed him. We both stopped, sitting in silence for a few more minutes. It got darker. I wondered how many hours passed. Hours go by too fast when I'm alone with him.

"You sure there's nothing on my face?" he suddenly asked.

It caught me off guard. For once he didn't call me hyung.

"Why?" I asked. 

"You keep staring at me. More than usual." he murmured this last part.

I wanted to laugh, but I tried to play it off, my hand landing on his thigh.

Youngjae immediately pulled away. I glanced at him, my hand left in the air for a few seconds before I pulled away.

"No." I simply replied.

He looked at me in confusion. I could tell that he felt guilty for pulling away though. 

He continued staring at me with a confused face. 

I wonder if he knows he looks cute. I guess Jinyoung is right. 

"Hey. Hurry up I'm hungry." I quickly said, trying to change the subject so he would stop staring at me in confusion. I find myself not knowing what to do sometimes when he stares so hard.

How can another guy who's younger than me make my heart beat so fast at times?

From my side view when I catch him staring at me...I sometimes wonder if Youngjae secretly knows what he's doing. I have never really thought he's as innocent as Jackson calls him.

He can't be completely innocent. He already knows my feelings right?

"Hyung!"

I heard a scream from a familiar voice and snapped from my recently frequent thought-filled moments to run after Youngjae, who was holding my keys, probably running to my car. 

I didn't listen to him when he told me to take him home. After whining and calling his mom, we finally arrived at my apartment.

"It feels like it's been a long time!" Youngjae yelled.

It has idiot.

I watched him run for the couch and turn on the TV, making himself as comfortable as he's alway made himself.

"We should call the guys. It's too quiet. It will be like before. But BamBam and Yugyeom are at night classes. Maybe they can sneak out." 

I watched Youngjae laughing before walking up to him and sitting so close to him that I even felt a little uncomfortable. He moved slightly but not so much to cause me to say something.

I know you're avoiding me.
 

After a short silence he stood up, looking down at me.

"So what are we having to eat? I even told my mom I'm coming here to eat." he said.

I looked up at him for a while.

"I ordered some chicken." I finally replied.

"Hyung..." he whined and I chuckled.

"I haven't been home recently so I have nothing in my fridge to make something." I said.

Another silence passed. It's not very surprising. Even before I confessed to Youngjae when we were alone, sometimes there would be silence and I was completely okay with the silence, but now something has changed right?

I confessed to him, and I noticed that he's really avoiding me after my confession.

"So how long is your vacation?" 

I snapped from my thoughts and looked at him. He was sitting again. Of course not where he was sitting before. I wonder why I've begun to notice these small things. I have never considered myself to be jealous or possessive. Of course with some obvious things there should be a little jealousy, but some small things are really starting to catch my attention. 

I wouldn't call myself a very romantic guy. In my past relationships I tried to make them happy with only the smallest things. I also wouldn't say I've ever been possessive or really touchy in relationships.

It never came naturally to me. I wanted to, but thinking about how they would react, I didn't. 

With Youngjae I can't think about how he will react. I would never hurt him or do anything he doesn't like but sometimes I really just want to pull him in a hug. A very tight hug. 

It's slowly coming to another year since I confessed to him. A year since I started thinking of him as mine. 

My...boyfriend.

He tends to fidget when he's nervous. When I watch him, I can tell he is trying so hard to hide it, but I see right through it. He nervously plays with his hands and looks away from me.

I glanced at him. 

You're so nervous.

"It's really been a long time. Work has been hard right?" he suddenly asked.

I suddenly wanted to try something. 

"You didn't call me." I said.

He finally lifted his eyes and we started with the familiar game. 

"You...didn't call me either hyung." he replied.

I smirked.

"I did." I replied.

He looked shocked, like he was thinking back on a day I called and he ignored my phone call probably.

Actually, I should have known that for Youngjae starting college would give him more opportunity to hang out less. After weeks passed that the guys and I met up without him, it really started to annoy me. 

I've always known he's serious with his school work, but after not seeing him for weeks I wondered what exactly was keeping him from even calling.

"S-sorry!"

The familiar voice surrounded my room and I stared at him for a few seconds before laughing loudly. 

He remembered.

I called him a few weeks ago when I got the notice of my vacation. Youngjae didn't pick up, but a few minutes after I hung up the phone he sent me a message explaining that he was in class and he would call me after.

I never got a call back.

I shouldn't hold it against him. He probably forgot with so much schoolwork on his back. At least he tells me some of his problems. He's only working so hard to convince his parents to let him stay at my old university. To let him stay close to us. 

But it still annoyed me when I didn't get a call back.

I didn't call him again, hoping he would call me back. He never did. I sometimes wonder why he even has a phone. He never uses it but to listen to music. 

A soft and warm hand encircled mine and I realized he was suddenly holding my hand.

He apologized again and again. I laughed a little more before pulling my hand away and patting him on the head.

"I really forgot hyung. I had so much work to do all of a sudden. Please forgive me." he desperately apologized.

He looks really guilty. He's never looked this guilty for not calling me. It's okay. I was annoyed. But I'm not mad.

I couldn't reply him, just stare because it's the first time I've seen Youngjae apologize so desperately to me.

"It's ok-"

"I'll cook for you. I'll do anything. I'm sorry." he interrupted me. 

My eyes lit up.

"You'll cook?" I asked.

A short silence passed.

"Even though I'm bad." he murmured a reply.

"Ok. Cook and I'll forgive you." I said. I just needed an excuse for him to come back to see me. If there is nothing to come see me for, he probably won't come. It's his personality. 

"But you said there's no food in your fridge." he stood up and walked to the kitchen. I followed him.

"Next time." I said.

He looked at me.

"I'm not using it now. I'll call you when I want you to cook. You better pick up." I said, almost in a daring tone.
 

I just want him to realize that he should come see me more. I'm not scary am I? Didn't we both agree to try this relationship out?

Youngjae quickly nodded. I didn't notice I grabbed his hand until he shyly pulled it away, his hand covering half his face. I watched him, a smirk on my face as he walked back to the couch. 

I'm a little happy that I'm the only that can make him so nervous. That means something right? 

"Hyung. When is the chicken coming? I'm hungry." he suddenly whined.

And exactly at that time, my phone rang and I walked towards my door to get our chicken.

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I didn't see Youngjae for about another week. It's not really a surprise to me anymore. He takes work before anything else. Especially when it comes to schoolwork. It's something I really like about him. He takes it all so seriously, as if already an adult like his parents. 

It surprised me when I got a call from him one day though. He wanted to go shopping somewhere, but it just had to be the day I was called in to the practice room all of a sudden in the middle of my vacation. I ended up having to stay the whole day at the company.

But I didn't get anymore calls from Youngjae after that, just a few messages.

I didn't want to use my free pass for him to come see me just yet, so I called him one day, hoping he would pick up, reminding myself to get his exact schedule.

I was a little too surprised when he picked up, a bit too cheerfully. He told me to come over quickly, and without second thought, I got in my car and drove to his house. 

I wasn't really expecting anything big, but I was really surprised when Youngjae opened the door with a white ball of fur in his hands.

"You got a dog?" I quickly asked, staring down at big black eyes that stared up straight at me. 

"Mark hyung and I went out a few days ago. She stopped us with her little barks. We couldn't leave her hyung." he replied. I watched as he hugged the white little puppy so close.

Of course the puppy is cute but...

"You went out with Mark?" I quickly found myself asking.

"Huh? Yeah. After I called you and you said you were busy. Mark and Jackson hyung suddenly came over. Jackson left early though so Mark hyung and I left to-"

"I thought you're allergic?" I quickly interrupted him. That feeling was getting to me again. He makes me jealous without even trying.

"Not to coco." he said.

"Huh?"

"Her name is coco." he said, walking up to me. With the cutest smile Youngjae handed me the puppy and I found myself standing there. I couldn't stop him from taking pictures. 

The puppy really is cute.

"It looks so cute!" Youngjae squealed.

Coco started barking.

"Coco-yah, Mark appa isn't here but Youngjae appa is. My baby." Youngjae took the small puppy away from me and I just stared, not knowing how I should feel or what I should do.

I watched him playing with the small puppy for a long time before his attention finally turned back to me.

"Hyung? What's wrong? Are you hungry?" he asked.

I didn't reply.

He just continued looking at me.

"It's been a while." I finally said, hoping he would notice whatever feeling I was suddenly having.

"Huh?" he looked as clueless as ever. I decided to do it myself.

I stood up and walked up close to him, grabbing his hand.

"I haven't seen you in a long-"

He suddenly lowered his head and pulled his hand away. I knew he was embarrased.

"Hyung maybe we should order something. How about chicken. I'm kind of hun-"

I've already noticed that Youngjae has been avoiding any type of physical touch when I'm doing it. He pushes me away when I get too close, but I get the honor of watching him whispering with Jinyoung, Jackson, Mark, Yugyeom, BamBam, everyone besides me. 

He gets to touch me but he gets so nervous even when I try to pat his head. I'm glad that I'm the only one that makes him so nervous, but he won't even look at me anymore. 

"Youngjae."

He stopped talking. I could tell he knew I wasn't very happy.

"What's the matter?" I asked.

With his head lowered Youngjae just shook his head and replied no.

"You're avoiding me." I simply said, wondering what excuse he would use.

"Huh? Hyung...I'm not. It's just..." he quickly stopped talking.

What? What is it?

I didn't say anything but stared at him. He got so nervous that he left his room and came back moments later with two bottles of water. He handed me one. 

I grabbed his arm before he could walk away again though. Youngjae turned to look at me before looking away and hiding his face.

At least he didn't pull away this time. This is the most it's ever gotten so serious between us since I confessed. 
 

"What is this suddenly? It's just...embarrassing." he mumbled.

I inched closer to him. He still had his head lowered. 

"Youngjae?" 

It's been a long time since I remember just saying his name. I could tell it made him even more nervous. 

"You know I-"

The sound of small barking and a door opening made me suddenly let go of him, knowing it could only be his mom. 

We met eyes instantly and Youngjae started nervously chuckling as his eyes looked elsewhere.

"I think my mom is home." he said quickly walking towards his door, but not before grabbing a hold of my hand and squeezing lightly, with his eyes everywhere but on me. I watched him from the back as he disappeared. I could hear the nervousness in his voice.

Do I make him this nervous? Why did he squeeze my hand then? 

I looked at my hand for a few minutes before walking out of the room after him. At least his mom looked happy to see me. She pulled me into a hug and I happily returned it.

I left after eating. 

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I didn't see Youngaje or hear from him once again for a few more days. The rest of my vacation was spent with Jackson, Mark, and Jinyoung. I missed BamBam and Yugyeom too but they were always so busy with school and after school work. 

Youngjae always has a few surprises though, just like the way he does things in his own unique way. I came home one day to find him standing in front of my apartment door, coco in his hands, and Mark standing next to him with a wide grin. 

Did I miss something?

I checked my phone before walking up to my door and opening it for them. The both of them walked in after greeting me.

They're always together nowadays. 

I stared at Youngjae'a back and sighed when he gave coco to Mark and started walked to me.

"Hi hyung." he said, a wide smile on his face.

He's really silly....but I like that about him.

"What are you two doing here?" I simply asked him, seeing Mark too busy playing with coco. 

"Hyung. Have you visited Nora lately?" he suddenly asked. It annoyed me. He was suddenly bringing up Nora when I gave up my cute kitty for him just so he could start avoiding me.

"A few weeks ago, but not recently." I replied.

I noticed the frown.

"I'm sorry hyung." he replied.

That's not even what I asked.

"Why are you two here?" I asked again.

"We were around the area. Coco is coming to stay with me for a few weeks so Youngjae and I went to go buy some things for her." Mark suddenly said. I glanced at him before looking back at Youngjae.

He nodded.

"Ok." I simply said, not knowing what else to say exactly. The both of them got the dog together so they both owned it. I walked to my room in silence.
 

Always calling themselves coco's dad.

"Where are you going?" Youngjae quickly asked. He already looked nervous even without me touching him, probably because of what happened the last time we were together.

"To take a shower. You want to come with me?" I jokingly asked. 

There was a short silence. I glanced at him and couldn't help but notice that he was blushing. He didn't reply so I headed straight for the shower, not getting a chance to shower at the company. 

We were let go early today as well. Usually we would leave around midnight after just practicing new dance moves. 

I took my time in the shower, trying to heal my aching muscles from doing some b-boy moves. 

I'm sure I took a lot of time in the bathroom, but the two didn't seem to care as I walked out of my room dressed about an hour later.

The first thing I noticed, more like I smelled though, was the food already set up on the table in front of the TV.

"Where did that come from?" I quickly asked. 

"Some extra food from today. My mom made a lot so I brought you some. Unless you have chicken." Youngjae said chuckling.

He brought me food? 

I stared at him for a little bit before Mark's voice snapped me out of it.

"It's really good." he said.
 

That means he already ate some...and what if he did?

"Thanks." I said, looking at Youngjae once again. He smiled wide. He always wants to do things for me but when I touch him just a little he pulls away. 

"That right. I saw you on TV yesterday hyung. You're famous now right?" he joked. 

I glanced at him a little surprised.

"You did?" I asked.

"Jackson hyung said he did so I made it my mission to look for you on one of the stages and I finally found you. As expected JB hyung is such a good dancer." he said clapping.
 

It always makes me happy to hear him praise me. To hear any one of them praise me it always makes me smile wide. So I couldn't help becoming a little embarrased.

I didn't notice my hand in Youngjae's hair rubbing through it until he pulled my hand away. 

"It took me a long time to do this hairstyle." he said pouting.

I smirked and chuckled, shaking my head.

"He spent almost an hour in front of the mirror. I thought he was BamBam." Mark said laughing. He's also become more talkative then he was before. It may be due to Jinyoung, but recently Mark has really stuck close to Youngjae.

I nodded, eating.

I didn't finish eating before Mark announced he had to go, taking coco with him and leaving me and Youngjae alone finally.

I thought Youngjae would leave too but he insisted to stay some more.

What's up with him today?

He sat in front of me watching TV as I finished eating, staring at his back. A couple of times he would laugh at something on the TV, turn to face me, and I would smile and nod in approval.

He would turn back towards the TV after I approved.

After a while of this, I realized I was eating slowly just to continue staring at him.

Youngjae was still sitting in the same place after I finished eating, went to wash the dishes, and came back to sit down. 

Did he even notice I was gone?

I stared at his back, then the top of his head, slowly walking up towards him. I don't think he even realized I was behind him until I grabbed his shoulders. A high pitched loud squeal escaped his mouth as I carefully shook him from side to side for a few moments, stopped with a grin on my face, and went to sit back down.

He slowly turned towards me, a wide smile on his face. I smirked and winked. He didn't say anything but slowly turned back around chuckling lightly. 

A small voice in my head told me to control myself. We continued watching the TV together for a while before I noticed Youngjae yawning and offered to drive him home.

The comfortable silence continued in the car as I drove him home. We didn't talk about anything but there was feeling of content between us.
 

I chose to drive slower than how I would usually drive, giving me some more time to spend with him, carefully glancing at him once in a while. 

We arrived at his house later than expected and I noticed Youngjae falling asleep more than once.
 

"We're here." I said.

He shook a little and turned to me.

"Thanks." he said, that familiar wide smile on his face once again. 

I smiled and nodded in response and watched as he reached behind him to grab his bag that I threw in the back seat earlier to make more room for him. 

I didn't know what was going through my head at my next move. I didn't even expect myself to do it. 

I found myself leaning in close to him, staring at his back. He grabbed his bag, pulled himself up, and just as our eyes caught and he smiled at me, I did the worst-

 I kissed him.

I was aiming for his cheek really, but his quick movement made me catch his lips. 

It was quick, really quick. Maybe a second even. But in that second Youngjae stared at me wide eyed, his hand going towards his lips. I remembered the only other time I've kissed him he just chuckled. 

The only other time when he wasn't so nervous. His reaction was completely different before.

This time he really looked almost...scared.

I didn't apologize. Like my old self I would quickly apologize but why should I? Youngjae knows I like him. Even if he is a boy, and even younger than me. Aren't we trying whatever relationship we agreed on?

But I may have scared him just suddenly doing it in the car close to his house.

Maybe I should have asked? Should I have asked first? 

Youngjae didn't say anything. I noticed his nervous hands as he lowered his head, opened the door, waved and walked away. I watched him all the way until he walked into his house.

With a hand running through my hair, I laughed and mentally scolded myself for doing something that would scare him.

__________________________________________________________________________

It was almost midnight on a Saturday. I was headed home after a long day of practicing for a comeback.

I almost made it to my car when I got a call from Jackson, telling me to come over to his his apartment. They were all apparently there, even Youngjae.

I was tired, but to miss out on such a rare opportunity, I couldn't not go.

Quickly I made my way to the familiar apartment that Jackson and Mark rent together. 

BamBam opened the door for me, suddenly hugging me tightly yelling out my name as if we haven't seen each other in years. I've seen Yugyeom and BamBam less frequently, but it doesn't mean I haven't seen them at all. 

After the hug BamBam quickly pulled me inside, closing the door behind him, and yelled out my name so everyone knew that I arrived.

"Leader is here!" Jackson yelled over the TV. 

I could hear they were playing a game as soon as I got closer to them and they turned around to look at me. I caught eyes with everyone else first, trying to not make myself obvious with Youngjae. The last I saw him was that surprise kiss in the car. 

I wonder if he's mad.

 
I walked closer. BamBam took his seat next to Yugyeom on the floor and I glanced around before noticing the only available spot was next to Youngjae after Jackson scooted over and made more room.

My only other option was on the floor next to BamBam, but I already caught eyes with Youngjae, who smiled, as if nothing happened before.

I sat down next to him, noticing that the small space Jackson left me gave me no space to make room for him. He looked squished between me and the end of the couch.

I didn't complain though, his usual laugh filling the room as I glanced towards his line of vision and realized BamBam was doing something funny. I couldn't help but chuckle as well.

"Ok. I'm next." BamBam suddenly said.

I looked at him. He seems to have changed since when I first met him. He used to be so cute, now the more I see BamBam, the more he's growing up. Kind of like Youngjae.

"How about you JB hyung?" 

I snapped from my thoughts as I suddenly heard my name.

"Huh?" 
 

"If you were a girl, who would you choose to date. Out of all of us?" BamBam asked excited. 

What type of game are they playing exactly? 
 

I could tell they were staring at me, waiting for my answer.

"What game is this?" I asked.

"It's my turn hyung. You have to answer the question." BamBam whined.

I stared at him. They were staring at me. I couldn't help but to quickly glance next to me at Youngjae before sighing. 

"No one. Myself." I replied.

"Hyung...that's no fun." 

They whined and I chuckled.

"You didn't say I couldn't choose myself." I said.

"Ok. Ok. Youngjae-sshi how about you?" Jackson suddenly asked Youngjae. This quickly caught my attention. I didn't make it obvious though of course.

There was a short silence. Youngjae laughed and pointed towards Jackson who was making weird movements for Youngjae to pick him. Jinyoung did the same. 

I watched, curious as to who Youngjae would choose. When he finally did, I admit that I was a little dissapointed that he picked Yugyeom.

 

Yugyeom as well as BamBam both have become very mature, but in Yugyeom's case, since he looked mature from the beginning, he's grown even more handsome.

Every time we play a game similar to this one, Youngjae chooses Yugyeom. At first it made me doubt their friendship, or at least whatever feelings Youngjae felt towards him. When I think about it now I scold myself. 

Honestly Youngjae really only thinks of Yugyeom as a younger brother, something I should be thinking towards him, but I can't. 

"Who's turn is it now?" Jackson yelled.

"Wait! Stop. I didn't choose." Yugyeom suddenly said.

Jackson paused, glancing at him before bursting into a laugh. 

"Ok. Ok Yugyeomie." Jinyoung quickly said. 

Yugyeom smiled wide, like he has been waiting to play this game for a long time. I noticed Youngjae looked quite interested too, as if he wanted Yugyeom to choose him, maybe because Youngjae chose him. 

"I choose...Mark hyung." Yugyeom said. 

As if he's been waiting for someone to ask this question all along. I would have thought Yugyeom would become embarrassed to answer like when he gets embarrassed when we ask him to do something cute.  

"Ok next game!" Jackson quickly yelled, most likely showing irritation that Yugyeom didn't choose him. I think we all make sure to compliment Jackson once in a while so he feels good.
 

"Whose turn is it?" BamBam asked.

"Mine."

We turned to Jinyoung. I instantly knew he had something up his sleeve. He looks innocent but he's always planning something. I glanced at Youngjae just as Jinyoung announced the game he wanted us to play.

"We're a team right?" he asked.

They nodded. I just stared.

Where's he going with this?

"We have to make sure we're a team and will always be together. This game is so we know everyone in our team better." Jinyoung said.

"What is it?" Youngjae asked, looking confused.

"We blindfold one person and have them try to see who's hand their holding. Everyone will do it. To see if we are really a team." Jinyoung said.

"How do we play?" Youngjae asked.

"We need a blindfold. Who's going to go first?" Jinyoung asked.

I could tell that Jackson was going to suggest me.

"Leader! Leader should know everyone!" he yelled.

They looked at me.

"Hey Jackson?" I said while the blindfold was already covering my eyes. "Why exactly am I leader?" I asked.

Isn't Mark oldest? He's at least a few months older than me. But you guys still want to call me leader.

There was a short silence.

"Because you brought us together." Mark suddenly said.

"Because you look scary and cool like a leader." Jackson said laughing. I couldn't tell if he was joking.

"Because you're so nice. Even though you get angry at nothing sometimes." Jinyoung said.

"You have leader-like qualities." Yugyeom said.

"You always buy us food." BamBam said.

"Because you're really cool hyung!" Youngjae said.

They almost answered at once. I could hear Youngjae's voice over it all though. 

Because he is sitting next to me.

Yeah...that's the reason. 

Once again. He's praising me.

I couldn't help but start chuckling at their compliments. They really do see me as a leader of some sort, even though Mark is older. I don't mind really. I just wondered why.

"Okay. First hand. Guess who's hand." Jinyoung suddenly said. 

I lifted my hand, and slowly another hand landed in mine. 

"What happens if I don't guess everyone?" I asked, rubbing the hand's knuckles a little.

This person has long fingers.

"You have to buy us food!" BamBam yelled.

"And if I win?" I asked.

"Anything from Youngjae!" Jackson yelled. I heard someone hit him.

"What do you mean anything? That's weird. We all have to get something." Youngjae's voice filled my ears. 

I couldn't help but smirk, with that sounding like an amazing idea to me. I knew Youngjae was embarrassed though. I really think only Jackson and Jinyoung know about my real feelings towards him. Jinyoung knows even more than Jackson though.

"Everyone cooks me food if I win." I said. 

"How about we order you some chicken?" Jinyoung asked.

"Order me all of my favorite food." I smirked.

"Hey. You think we have time to work every day like you? We'll order you half of your favorites." Jinyoung said.

BamBam and Youngjae started laughing.

That sounds good.

I nodded.

"Jinyoung, this is your hand." I said.

They went wild. Asking me how I knew. I've been together with Jinyoung for a long time. We practically grew up together. Of course I know the familiar thin and long fingers.

"Okay next. I bet you won't figure this out." Jinyoung said.

Another hand slowly cuffed the bottom of mine. I smiled and moved my hand to hold the hand. This person also had skinny long fingers too, but the palm was different. It could only be BamBam. Yugyeom's fingers are long, but slightly chubby.

"BamBam...?" I said with slight hesitance. 

"Hyung! You're right." BamBam squealed.

I smiled and chuckled.

"Next hand." I said.
 

A hand landed in mine quickly before being removed and then another hand came. 

I could instantly tell it was Jackson's hand. Jackson frequently sticks to me sometimes, pulling my hand in his and doing odd things because he's that type of person.
 

"Jackson." I said.
 

I felt a small push to my shoulders as I laughed.
 

"Ohh...shivers." Jackson said.

Maybe they should continue calling me leader. I know my group so well. 

"This hand." Jinyoung said.

This was a new hand. Very familiar. It landed in mine slowly, moved a little and settled itself. I rubbed my thumb on the outer part of the hand and caressed the palm and fingers. 

I instantly knew who's hand it was as I kept caressing for a few more seconds. I felt a smirk want to appear on my face.

"Youngjae." I simply said.
 

"Oh...." I heard his voice. He was most likely shocked. I smiled. Of course I know the feeling of his hand. I've held it many times at night when he used to sleep over.

The thought even made me a little embarrassed. 

"Next. Next." I could hear Jackson yell. He was so excited. I somehow knew he was going to put his foot in my hand. I almost said BamBam's hand was a foot to get some laughs from them. 

I laughed and pushed Jackson's foot away when it landed in my hand. They laughed loudly. Though I thought it was dirty to have Jackson's foot in my hand, I enjoyed the laughs that came from them. 

They made me switch the hand I used though, whining about Jackson's dirty feet.

I named Yugyeom's hand and finally finished it off with Mark, almost doubting myself when the hand felt familiar to Jackson's hand.

In the end I got it all correct.
 

They cheered for me loudly. Jackson even pulled me into a tight hug. I managed to pull away though. He's really so touchy. 

Why can't Youngjae be like him sometimes? 

"I don't think I'll be able to guess it all." BamBam said laughing. 

"Let me try." 

Youngjae stood up and the blindfold was quickly taken of my eyes and wrapped around his. They made sure he saw nothing before pushing him to sit down. I decided to go last. 

Youngjae managed to get Yugyeom, BamBam, and Jinyoung perfectly, but mistook Jackson's hand as mine.

Mentally cheering for him to guess my hand, it was finally time for my turn after Youngjae got Mark and Jackson wrong. 

I slowly put my hand in his. He quickly started caressing my hand with both of his. He twisted and turned my hand and even felt around my wrist. I laughed when Jinyoung asked him what he was doing.

"No. I think I know this. This one, this one is JB hyung right? Not the other one." he said it as if a question, meaning he wasn't sure. 

But it still made me happy that he knew.

They took off the blindfold and Youngjae was still holding my hand. He lifted it and started laughing.

"I knew it." he said.

"Good job." I whispered, hoping he heard it. 

The others went one by one. I was the only one who got everyone's hand right. Jinyoung, the one who suggested the game could only guess Yugyeom, Mark, and Youngjae. It didn't bother me that he didn't know my hand, I always told him off from hand holding when we were younger due to embarrassment. 

That's why I can't believe I always do it now to Youngjae when I get the chance. 

We finished that game quickly, ate, and watched some TV.

I didn't even realize the time or that I had work in the morning until Jinyoung mentioned it.

"Sleep over. You can borrow some clothes. Our apartment is closer to the company right?" Jackson asked. He always wants us to sleep over no matter what.

Maybe we should all just buy a apartment and live together. That wouldn't be so bad. We're all so used to each other anyway.

"I'll stay. It's too late to drive anyway." I agreed yawning.

"I told my mom I was staying." Yugyeom said.

"And I was supposed to be staying at Yugyeom's house since there's no school tomorrow so I can stay too." BamBam said.

"How about you all stay?" Mark asked.

"Youngjae?" I said.

I caught eyes with him and he smiled and nodded.

"My mom suggested I stay. I already finished all my work. I can study tomorrow." he said.

"Then that's that. Who has the shower first?"

I laughed when Yugyeom almost pushed down BamBam for bathroom. I ended up using it last, letting them take a shower as I tried to set a proper alarm to get to work on time. 

When I came back from the shower, there were a lot of blankets set up where we were watching TV. I sat down as we prepared to sleep.

Jackson and Mark disappeared into their rooms and after checking a few things for the next day I laid down with the thoughts of sleep clouding my mind. The tired feeling I felt from earlier was finally kicking in. 
 

I was almost to dream land when something caught my attention though. I moved only slightly. I could hear light snoring but I couldn't tell by who. 

A hand slowly linked in mine and a body moved closer with warmth.

"What...?" I whispered.

"I'm sorry about what happened in the car." Youngjae whispered. I could barely hear him. 

I sighed and tightened my hold on his hand.

"I'm sorry too." I apologized.

"I was just embarrased." he admitted.

"It's okay just go to sleep. We'll talk about it later alright?" I said. A short silence passed.

"Okay. Good night hyung." Youngjae whispered.

"Goodnight." I said.

With a wide grin on my face and a tight hold on a certain someone's hand, I let my eyes close completely, really glad I decided to stay over.
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