Someone call the love-doctor, Kris

Stupid, Impossible craziness

I want to thank Spotlight posters for the cute poster! Thank you! <3

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“Hey, dude!” Chanyeol shouts and Kris immediately changes direction and starts to walk away from him. “Hey! Kris!” accelerating to speed walk. “Yah! Yifan! Ma man!” stills speed walk and sometimes some glances over the shoulder to see if Chanyeol is still following.

“Maybe he didn’t hear me…” Chanyeol scratches his head. “WU YIFAN, RIGHT OVER THERE, RUNNING IN THE HALLWAY I NEED TO HAVE A VERY IMPORTANT CHAT WITH YOU SO IF YOU JUST WOULD STOP OR SOMETHING… ANYONE WHO SEES HIM IS FREE TO STOP HIM. KNOCK HIM DOWN OR WHATEVER, JUST MAKE HIM STILL.”

Besides for Kris, even Luhan and Jongdae heard and quickly exchanged evil looks before the corners of their mouths curled up into smirks.

Chanyeol watched as Kris came running past them and Luhan discreetly stretched out his leg and made Kris faceplant on the spot.

Ouch, he thought.

“Oh! Hi hyung, what are you doing?” Jongdae nicely asked and bend over to look at him. As response he got a painful groan and a hand sufficed at him for help to get up. “What? Sorry I didn’t hear you!” Jongdae teasingly ignored the hand and turned the ear to him instead. Kris inhaled and growled something into the floor. “Can you repeat that again?”

“WELL YOU!” Kris roared and turned to lie on the back. “ing retard.”

“Are you insulting him? What kind of friend are you, Kris?” Luhan popped his head into Kris view.

“Yeah, who? I was just being friendly.” Jongdae put a hand on his chest, making a hurt face. “Well, thank you then. Thanks for pretending to be my friend for all these years.”

And so Jongdae began to walk away with his head hanging.

Luhan shook his head in disapproval “I’m disappointed, bro,” he said and then added as he passed Chanyeol, “He’s all yours.” Then he smirked and bounced away. Chanyeol stopped next to Kris.

“What are you doing down there? Anyways, I need to talk to you,” he said and started to walk, “You know how I talked to you about operation Bacon yesterday and-“ Chanyeol stopped as he saw that Kris were still on the ground. “Are you comin’ or what?” he asked and watched as Kris sorely got up and groaned.

“Thanks for the help…” Kris ironically mumbled and caressed his face.

“Back to the issue,” Chanyeol continued without taking notice of Kris pain. “The thing is that Suho’s proposition is not working. Baekhyun’s and mine relationship is not moving at all, at any direction. So I thought about you. -”

“Why?”

“Yours and Tao’s relationship seems to move forward-“

“There is none.”

“-And you know… What do you suggests?” Chanyeol now turned to face Kris and gave him a pleading face. “I need your help.”

Kris sighed supplied. “Talk to the poor guy.”

“I do that.”

“No, you stare creepily and smile awkwardly.”

Silence.

A stare.

“I talk to him. Sometimes.”

“Barely. And that’s when you have something to agree on.”

Silence.

A stare.

“I’ll go talk to him now.”

“Thank you.” Kris said, relived since he didn’t have to talk to him anymore.

“Oh and don’t miss practice later, we need to practice extra hard until next game.” Chanyeol shouted as he disappeared into the massive crowd of people getting to their classes.

“Well, you’re welcome by the way!”

Kris took a look through a window at his soon-to-be black eye.

“ you Luhan.” he then mumbled and got to his own class.

 

Luhan looked up when a pair of hands slammed onto his desk. Sehun’s face was inches away and he smiled childishly.

“Hyung, you have lunch now, right?”

“In ten minutes, yes,” Luhan replied and looked around in the classroom, “How can you be in here?”

Sehun simply shrugged. “The teacher went to copy something so I sneaked in.”

“Oh… Okay!”

They lapsed into silence and awkwardly blinked at each other for a while.

“…So why are you here?” Luhan then asked.

“Oh, right! Yeah, should we have lunch together?”

“…Don’t we always?”

“Yeah! But I meant like… you know…” Sehun twisted embarrassed, “just the two of us?”

Luhan blinked uncomprehendingly at him.

“Why?” he asked and the question seemed to stun Sehun. “I just think that it would be totally awkward if we were to sit and chat by one table and the others were sitting just a few meters away,” Luhan explained.

“But they have opened a new restaurant just one block down and I kind of want to try it, though I don’t want to go all alone and you know...”

“Really? Let’s go there all of us then!” Luhan cheered and clasped his hands, already looking forward to a nice meal.

“Yeah… Let’s all go…” Sehun sighed and trailed out after having the teacher scolding him for disturbing class.

Such a failure he is. That restaurant was supposed to be his and Luhans thing. The place they’d have their first date (only Luhan would probably just see it as a normal hang out with a friend, but for Sehun it would be so much more). Maybe that restaurant would even be, like, their special place.

Suddenly Sehun noticed Kris sitting by a table and didn’t seem too busy (he was only working on the art project until tomorrow). Sehun crashed down in the seat opposite to him.

“Hey Sehun, good you’re here! What do you think, straight A or what?” Kris mumbled proud though a pen he had placed in his mouth to look more artistic. He turned the painting to Sehun and showed the masterpiece. “Personally I think it’s fabulous. But I don’t know, maybe I need to fix the nose a little…”

The painting looked a lot like Sehuns’ dating life. Broken, sad and totally pathetic. He just stared at it.

“Ok, before you’ll say anything offensive I’m gonna stop you and just assume that look means you like it and you totally agrees that it’s fabulous.” Kris said and studied his drawing one more time. “So what’s with the sad face?”

“I made a complete fool out of myself.”

“Wait? You did? Are you sure you’re Sehun and not like Tao or Junmyeon or Chanyeol in disguise?” the elder gave Sehun a skeptic look.

“My love life is over!” Sehun groaned and slammed his head against the table.

“NO!” Kris eyes widened in horror. “ no. Not you too!” he cried and prepared to escape.

“I don’t even think Luhan’s interested…”

Kris moaned.

“I suggested for us to go to a restaurant but he just wanted to go all of us. Maybe I shou-”

“Okay, stop! Talk to him! Don’t stare, don’t smile and you’ll go successfully through life.” Kris breathed and stood up. “That’s all! Kris out,” he said and slammed the two piece-fingers at his chest. And with that said both Kris and his painting were gone. Sehun sighed.

Why didn’t he just start with asking Junmyeon, he thought.

 

Kris walked up next to Jongin. “I don’t know what’s with people today. Seriously, is it like love-day or something today.”

“Huh?” Jongin remotely looked up. “Oh, hi Kris!”

“What’s with you? Are you too having a rough day? Did Sehun talk to you as well? Or Chanyeol?”

“What? No…” he said slowly, completely in his own minds. “Hey can I ask you something?”

“As long as it doesn’t include the word lov-“

“What would you do to get someone’s attention? Cause, I have no idea what to do with Kyungsoo. I’m going mad thinking about him and it would be kind of weird if I just randomly started talking to him…” Jongin looked up, only to see that Kris had already left. He sighed.

Let’s ask Suho, he thought.

 

“Ah, Kris gee!” Tao called, waving one hand. He was coming Kris way.

“ no.” Kris turned directly around, second time today. Bad enough the others actually think they had something going. Maybe he should ignore Tao for a few days, just to prove them wrong.

“Are you ignoring me gee?” Tao horrified ran up to him.

“Pretty much, yeah.”

“Whyyyy?” Tao started to panic. “What have I done? Are you mad? Why? Because of the drawing? I really am sorry for that! Please don’t be mad,” Tao now started to cry. “I swear I will never do it again! I can repay you or something! Is it because of my eyes? Am I scaring you? Or am I too clingy? Is it bothering you that you always have to company me to the bathroom? Do you want me to take my pee alone? I can change, just don’t be mad at me!”

Kris rolled his eyes.

“Please don’t leave me alone! I will never be able to live without you! You’re my soul mate! My best friend!”

“Yes, that’s the point! I’m your friend, Tao, and that’s it!” Kris said and drew a line in the air with his hand. Tao held the crying and blinked at him.

“What?”

“I’m your freaking friend!”

“…I know…?”

“Good!”

Tao blinked again in confusion. Had he ever said anything else? Kris then disappeared again and Tao was left in the hallway, his eyes full of tears.

“I think he is mad at me…” he mumbled before running of to the toilet.

 

“I think Kris hyung’s pretty sick of love…” Jongdae observed as Kris drew ugly hearts on a paper and then it over in form of crosses, over and over again.

“Speaking off…” Junmyeon spoke up, “Tao spoke with me… Kris why did you have to be so mean? He was crying rivers when I found him in the bathroom. He thought you were mad at him.”

Both Jongdae and Junmyeon gave him meaning looks.

“It’s not my problem he’s such a crybaby! I only told him the truth.”

“Which is…?”

“None of your business.”

“Well, you should fix it. He looks up to you, you know.”

Kris sighed.

“And I think he kind of likes you… So if you reject him, you should at least go easy on his feelings.” Junmyeon said sympathetically and with that superior I-know-better-than-you tone. Kris started to grow annoyed and slightly panicked.

“No, he doesn’t! He does not like me and I did not reject him! I’m his friend, he’s mine and that’s it! Jesus Christ ing super star.”

“So you’re really not mad at him?”

“Who the said I was mad?”

“Really?” Tao suddenly squired. Kris jumped a little of the sudden scream.

“God you startled me. No, Tao, I’m not mad at you.”

Tao screamed again and slung himself around Kris neck. “Oh thank you Gee! I love you!”

Kris pushed him off. “Get off, you girl.”

Tao’s eyes grew. “Am I annoying you?”

Junmyeon gave Kris a meaning look again.

“No, Tao… You are not…” Kris then said through his teeth and Tao hugged him tight.

Jongdae teasingly shaped a small heart with his hands and framed the two of them in it. “It’s cute…” he smiled.

“ you!” Kris mouthed and gave him the finger behind Tao’s back. Tao then pulled out from the hug.

“RIGHT, I FORGOT TO TELL YOU GEE!” he suddenly remembered and flew up. “I ordered a new bag!” he announced excited.

“You did?” Kris pretended to care, like he always did.

“Yeah, I think you’ll really like this one, the color is perfect to your skin tone…”

“My… skin tone?”

Tao eagerly nodded. “And I bought one for me as well!”

“Wait, you bought a bag for me?!”

“Well, technically, YOU bought us couple bags. I used your card,” he explained with a smile. Kris eyes widened.

“What?”

“I thought it would be a nice thing and I don’t have any money!”

Jongdae and Junmyeon snickered.

“Okay, 1. Why the didn’t you ask me first, 2. Why the did you even buy couple items, and 3. How the did you get my credit card?! And more importantly how did you even know my freakin’ pin code?!” Kris asked and stared holes at Tao, unsure if he would kill him or not.

“Well, you lent me the card like last week to buy you coffee. And I forgot to give it back.” Tao simply explained. “But don’t worry, it wasn’t that expensive!”

“How. Much. Did. It. Cost?” Kris asked with closed eyes, not really sure he wanted to hear the answer.

“Um, like, I don’t know… $2100 maybe?” Tao bet his under lip. Kris gasped and fanned himself, taking deep breaths. It pretty much looked like he would cry.

”Please tell me that was the prize of them both together.” he whispered.

”Um, nope. Each one costed that.”

Kris almost fainted. “My poor money!” he cried out. He then stood up and dragged his feet’s home. “I can’t do this…”

“Hyung! Hyung! What?” Tao panicked and looked around. “Did I upset him?”

Junmyeon gave him a sympathetic nod and Jongdae snickered and sipped his bubble tee.

“I think you did!” he grinned. “Way to go bro! Here, give me five!” Jongdae stretched out his arm for a high five, “Brilliant! How come I’ve never thought of that?” he asked himself. “Give me the card next time!”

Tao gave him a killing glare. “I thought he would like the bags!” he then said to Junmyeon, whom patted his back nicely, and started to cry again.

“He will!” he tried to comfort. “Once he sees them!”

 

Kris zombie-walked through the hallways. Tao had just ruined him. His mom would kill him. Total slaughter. His money! He buried his face in his hands. Better just get home. Its just biology left of the day anyway. Suddenly he felt a hand on his shoulder.

“Are you going home?” Luhan asked.

“Yeah, I can’t take biology.”

“Oh, I know the feeling. Hey, do you want company or anything? I can skip the class as well!” the elder offered. Kris gave him a skeptic look.

“Sure… What’s up?”

“Um, nothing!” Luhan smiled innocent. “Just want to chat with my best friend.”

Kris raised a brow. “Mm-hum.”

“So… Um, I saw Sehun talking to you before…” Luhan then blurred and Kris groaned. Why hadn’t he seen this comin’? He started to flee from Luhan but Luhan ran up to him again. “Seriously, Kris! I just wonder what he said.”

Kris kept walking.

“Please!” Luhan pleaded. “I’ll do whatever!”

Kris smirked and turned around. “Now we’re talking. Come on, let’s go, you’re going to buy me coffee, since I no longer have any money. Then we’re going to discuss this further.”

 

“Happy? Now tell me what he said!” Luhan begged when Kris finally had his beloved coffee in hand.

“Uh-um! This wasn’t the prize to pay. My information is far too precious, I need something bigger.”

Luhan narrowed his eyes at Kris. “Then what?”

“Well, I’ve always thought an artist off my class needs someone extra… You know, so I won’t get my hands too dirty, because of course you understand I wouldn’t be able to create masterpieces of the same quality if I had-“

“Would you just get to the point.” Luhan snapped, rolling his eyes. “Please?” he added when Kris sent him the glare.

“Fine. Be my personal butler, and I’ll tell you.” he smirked and then added, “For a week!”

Luhan thought for a good few moments. “What would be my choirs?”

“You never know…” Kris said and studied his nails. “Clock’s tickin’, you know. Plus you kind of owe me. For the black eye.”

“FINE! Now tell me! Tell meeeee!” Luhan begged and shook Kris arm.

“Geez, sometimes it’s hard to tell you’re older that me…” he said and Luhan stopped doing what he did and fixed his shirt. “Anyways, he didn’t say so much. Mostly he was sad you had turned him down and took it out on me. Why couldn’t you just have gone with him to that stupid restaurant?”

“THAT’S WHY HE WANTED US TO GO?! Man, I kind of freaked out when he asked, so I had to say you guys should tag along as well! I screwed up.” Luhan facepalmed himself. It was in situations like this Kris felt extremely awkward.

“Huh… Erm… Well… Take him there you then…” Kris scratched his neck.

“That’s how you got Tao?”

Kris struggled to control himself. “That’s… What the effin’! Why?! Ta-. Freakin, Tao and I are NOT DATING!”

Luhan plainly blinked at him. “Um… Okay. Sorry to bring that up…” he said at Kris obvious emotional struggle. “So… What else did he say?”

“Nothing.”

“So that was all?”

“Yeah, basically.”

“So that was your precious information?”

“Well, wasn’t it? I mean, now you know he likes you. And you can surprise him by taking him to that mothering restaurant. Oh and I bet he would do anything for you! That is some good opportunities, you know! Take advantage, use him a little.”

“Hum.”

“Yeah, well, you’re welcome! Now my dear butler, we’re going to my house. I need someone to clean my room!” Kris snapped his fingers and pointed the direction of his car. “And by the way, you shouldn’t let people run over you so easily. You could get used- Oh look, my shoelaces are untied. Luhan, please.” Kris pointed at his shoe and Luhan immediately bend down and tied the , beaming over the knowledge that Sehun liked him.

 

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Hi again guys! I updated! Yaaay! And yeah, since I'm sick and a bit of braindead this week this might not be the best chapter, but whatever, I enjoy updating anyways! Perhaps there will be another one quite soon! Or not! Trolololol, we'll see! 

I hope you'll like it! ^^ 

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Comments

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RinRin_Amoii #1
Chapter 13: Great story,why don't you make Luhan jealous or something.Like,Sehun will be hit on by a really cute girl and all.Just mt opinion though.Your ideas will be way better.:)
Alicezara2 #2
Chapter 13: Kai donot seduce do like that u are to y to handle
myseaisfullofships #3
Chapter 13: Kris is just...
shirubamuun
#4
Chapter 13: Jongin >=]
BaekYeol's push and pull really annoys me. Or should i say 'some' relationship?
Aquaglam2 #5
Chapter 12: Ok, you are a very good author. My ship is KaiSoo, HunHan, TaoRis, BaekYeol, SuLay and XiuChen xD same as the story! Yay! So enjoy this fix, stayed up all night to read this, funny too :)