Part 3: Chapter 14

Luhan still wasn’t sure he understood the rules of the pinecone game.  After years of experience the guys seemed to think that they each had the best technique of placing cones.  However, to Luhan it didn’t seem to require much skill at all.  The point was to place the cones on top of each without knocking any of the others to the ground.  But when Tao was declared the loser, Luhan didn’t question it.  He felt a sense of relief that it wasn’t him.  As the rest of the guys cheered, Suho padded a pouting Tao on the back in consolation.

“Suho’s lost the past two years in a row,” Sohee whispered to Luhan. 

Following Sohee’s instructions, Luhan took a seat around the fire between Sehun and Tao.  They were to go in age order, starting with Tao (the loser) and going down.  That meant Luhan would be last.

What came next surprised Luhan.  He never had any idea what to expect from this group, but as they settled in a circle around the fire, they were more subdued.  It was clear that this was a moment of importance for them.  They all recognized it, and now Luhan did too.

As night turned into early morning, the night felt colder than ever. But sitting by the fire, with friends he never dreamed of ever having, Luhan barely felt the freezing temperature. The fire flickered and crackled, shining a dancing light onto their faces, the only part of them visible beneath layers of clothing. It wasn't snowing yet, but the threat of it lingered.

As they began, Luhan realized he wasn’t really sure what he was expected to do when his turn came.  So, he readied himself, preparing to make mental notes about what the other guys said to figure out what he was supposed to do when it was his turn.

Tao cleared his throat, breathed on his hands and took his time rubbing them together.

“Hurry it up, would ya?” Chen called. “Let's get this over with.”

“I have something I want to say,” Tao started, throwing Chen a glare.  He turned and looked past Luhan to the boy sitting on the other side of him.  “Sehun.  Just admit it.  It was you that broke my army knife this year, wasn’t it?”

“It wasn’t me!” Sehun stood to face him.

Tao got to his feet as well.  “Don’t lie.  You were the only other person in the room!” 

Sitting between them, Luhan stood and backed up.  Still not knowing what was expected of him, he decided to let it play out.

“Sit down!  Both of you!”  Kai called.  Both boys stopped yelling but they exchanged heated looks as they resumed their seats on the ground.  

Luhan slowly followed suit.  With a start like that, he had to wonder just what it was he had gotten himself into. 

Baekhyun cleared his throat, drawing everyone’s attention to the fact that it was his turn.  “I have something to say,” he said, but then paused before he continued.  Staring into the fire, he spoke, “Chanyeol.  I hate that you smoke.” 

When he didn’t say anything else, Luhan turned to look at Chanyeol across the fire.  He simply sat staring at his friend, brows furrowed in confusion and concern. 

Sohee reached up to squeeze Baekhyun’s arm.  It was her turn next.

“Last year, my goal was to do better in English,” she started.  “I’m happy to say I got a 97 on my last English exam!”  She laughed as the guys cheered for her.  Lay, her study partner, sitting two down from her reached over Chen and Suho to offer her a hand, which she slapped in celebration.

“So what’s your goal for this year, Sohee?”  Kai asked as everyone settled down.

As the smile slipped from Sohee’s face, everyone quieted down.  Luhan made note that she was the first to say a goal, instead of having something to say to someone.  Everyone waited in anticipation, as if she would set the tone for everyone else’s goals.  Was the whole wolf issue off limits tonight?  Or would Kai’s recent revelation change everyone’s outlook for the New Year?

“This year,” Sohee started, but then hesitated.  “This year, no matter what happens, my goal is to stay true to myself.  And to my heart,” she added, looking first at Kai then at Luhan across the fire. 

“I have something to say,” Suho began next.  “Luhan,” he said, catching everyone off guard.  Especially Luhan himself, who’s back snapped straight.  Suho, the prim and proper class leader.  Luhan had no idea what to expect from him.  “I admire you,” Suho said, catching everyone off guard once again.  “Everything you’ve been through, owning up to your mistake, apologizing to Kyungsoo and making it up to everyone.  I admire you for that.”

Not quite sure if he was allowed to say anything in response, not knowing what he would say even if he could, Luhan nodded at him through the flames of the fire.  And suddenly he understood the point of doing this.  A time to say what normally would never be said.  A tim