The world is grey when Haeri wakes up.

Grey, grey, all grey. She stares blankely up at the ceiling. She's not Atlas, so why does she feel like she holds the weight of the universe on her shoulders?

Haeri thinks about whether she wants to get up or not. Her legs are unwilling to move, so she's guessing that's a no. She sighs three times and pulls the covers up tighter, wishing she could bury herself in the patterned cloth and just disappear. A flash of an unknown feeling travels through her body: she feels that she's forgetting something important about this day.

When it finally comes to her, she feels a hundred times worse. Sehun's been waiting ages to catch a date with her, and the one day she can finally go... she can't.

What an unlucky day, she thinks unhappily, to feel like . It's been awhile since the last day she felt so numb, so bad, but she guesses that it's coming back now. The thought makes her quake. These days, it's so difficult to be happy.

Her phone is right next to her on her bed stand, but the effort required to reach out and take it is too much. Haeri wastes another half hour doing nothing before finally, slowly, plucking the phone off the table. She opens up her messages with Sehun and hesitates, fingers hovering over the touch keyboard. Finally, after some time, she types out her message.

Hey, Sehun... so I can't make it. I know I'm pulling out of this last minute and I feel horrible for it. Something came up and I... just can't go anymore. I'm really sorry. I'll make it up to you sometime. Sorry again

She hits 'send' and waits.

Sehun replies just a minute later.

Don't feel horrible! It's perfectly okay. I'll take you out to ice cream when you feel better :-)

The guilt overpowers Haeri. She tosses her phone to the ground and turns her head to face the wall. A part of her is rejoicing. At least she's skipped out on a huge weight gain by cancelling.

This horrifies her. Is weight, she despairs, the only thing important to me anymore? Even more than Sehun?

Seconds later, her phone buzzes again. She picks it up, expecting another text from Sehun, and looks at the screen.

Relationship not going so well lately, eh? Well, what else would we expect from ultimate loser Lee Haeri? Sehun must be getting bored of her by now.

She closes her eyes and tries to ignore the familiar burn.

Whatever. Whatever. Whatever.

And then:

I can't do this anymore.

"You what!?" Haeri shrieks. "You're dating Kris?"

Lina grins happily. "Yup! We've been dating secretly for the past month. It's been working out really well, so we've agreed to go public."

"Wow," Haeri remarks, "I can't believe I didn't even notice."

"Yeah, well," Lina says a bit resentfully, "you weren't around much. So I wasn't expecting you to."

More guilt washes over her like wave.

If that's a wave, then at this point, Haeri thinks sardonically, I must be drowning in an ocean.

"...and then he kissed me on the cheek! It was so sweet!" Lina looks up and frowns. "Hey, are you even listening? Hey! Haeri!" She snaps her fingers in front of her friend's face. Haeri comes to, blinking.

"Oh, sorry," Haeri replies, a bit distantly. "I was thinking about other things."

Lina raises an eyebrow. "Such as?"

"Erm... homework." More like how I'm going to break up with Sehun.

"Right." Lina cuts back. "Well anyways, I hope you and Sehun are still doing okay."

Haeri flinches and tries to pretend she didn't. "Yes, yes, we're doing fine." She feels outstandingly uncomfortable. "Once stress clears up a bit, we'll be able to go out more."

"Oh, I get that," Lina nods understandingly. "Me and Kris are the same way." Her eyes gleam strangely in the bright light, and Haeri has to blink again.

A phone buzzes.

"Mine," Lina says immediately. She glances over the screen. "Oh, it's Kris. We're going to the movies and then having dinner tonight. I better go now."

"Right," Haeri murmurs, as Lina, already halfway out the door, disappears from sight.

With a sigh, she takes out her textbooks and begins homework, alone in the library.