10:20 pm.

I knock twice, hoping someone is home, and to my surprise, the door opens.

"Juhyun?" Oppa looks at me as if I'm a mystery to solve. 

"Not very welcoming, I see." I cross my arms. "I'll come back next time then." I joke.

He scoffs, reaching for my hand as he pulls me inside. "Wow, you're all grown up eh?" He teases, "Now you can just look at me that way and leave me?" He smirks

"I was just joking." I say, trying to hide my worries away.

"I know, I know." He says, shutting the door behind him.

"Where are the boys?" 

"I, um, gave them some free time to go around."

"Why didn't you go with them?" 

He looks away, at anywhere but my eyes. "Juhyun-ah," he starts after a moment's pause, "Why are you asking if you already know the answer?"

I swallow bile in my throat, bracing myself for his reaction of what I'm going to say. "I don't know, maybe because I've had enough of the lies I've been hearing from you since last night." 

That was it. I said it and suddenly I want to kill myself for having said it that way.

Guilt punched me when I saw Oppa's reaction. Like he had been slapped. Hurt, humiliation and unbelief spreads across his face.

"Juhyun, what- what did I do wrong?" He stammers, as he runs a hand through his hair. He walks up to me slowly. 

"Lying is what you did wrong." I say, trying to keep my voice from trembling. He grabs both of my hands in his, "Bronchiectasis?" I spat bitterly. 

I hear his voice hitch, his grip on me tightens. "Who told you?" His voice had deepen, his eyes, glassy. "Shinhye?" He shakes his head in anger. "I told her not to tell anybody, I thought I could--"

"So I am 'anybody' now?" I blurt out, letting out a bitter laugh. 

He looks at me. "Juhyun, it's not that, I just... Don't want you to know."

"Oh yeah, because you don't want me to worry." I say, almost spitting every word. "And you're wrong, it was Jonghyun oppa who informed me, not Shinhye unnie." 

The tears that have welled in his eyes have now flowed on his cheeks, as he slowly let me go and slumps himself on the sofa. "H-how?" He whispers than says. 

I kneel in front of him searching his face. "He found out through your doctor." I say in the softest voice I could and held his hand. "I spoke to him this morning right? And he said he know everything."

He stands up abruptly, almost pushing me aside and started punching the door of his room. His tears didn't stop from flowing. He keeps on shouting 'Stupid! Stupid!' to himself. Minutes have passed, he keeps on punching but he slows down, making the dent on the door he had made, visible. His knuckles had turned red, little amount of blood leaks through.

I stand beside him and covered his fist with my hand. "Jung Yonghwa." I warn. "Hurting won't do anything. In fact it will only make things worse." 

Slowly, he stops and bangs his head on the door. 

"I didn't want any of this to happen." He cries. 

"No one did."

He moves away from the door and faces me. I almost melted with the hurtful look he has. His face must be the most hurtful thing to look at. 

He wraps his arms around me and pulls me close, embraces me tightly, burying his face on my shoulders, making my sleeves wet. I tap his back as I feel the tears flow again. 

--

"What else did he tell you?" He asks.

It took me an hour to calm him down, for him to stop crying, for the tears to stop flowing.

"He begged me not to tell Minhyuk and Jungshin." With that he smiles gently, "Look at that, the two eldest think alike."

"Aish." He massages his temples with his index finger. "Sorry, Seohyun-ah, I didn't mean to lie to you." He covers my hand with his. "I just don't want to be a burden to you."

I nod. "I know, sorry for being so hard on you a while back. Really, --"

"I'm thankful." He cuts. "Thanks, Seohyun-ah, for opening my eyes to the things I'm blinded at."

--

Yong's POV.

She sits on the edge of my bed, her feet folded beneath her. She seems alone in her own world, reading a book...

I removed my headphones and stopped arranging my music and looked at her. "Yah, Juhyun-ah." I call out.

She doesn't seem to hear me. "Jashik. Yah!"

She then turns to look at me, "Hm?" Her eyes widens, sparkling like a gem, so clear and so bright. 

"Romance?" I say, suppressing a laugh. "Is that romance?" 

Her ears went red. "Ah, yes." She smiles shyly. 

"Jashik." I tease. "Hyu~un, you've changed a lot. Jashik."

"Can I see them?" She asks.

"See what?" 

"The songs that you're working on." She says.

I start to panic. She might misunderstand the lyrics.

She is again silent, which makes me nervous. I feel like she knows more about my case and she opens it all up, bit by bit. 

She gulps. She's nervous. I knew it, she's going to make me admit something again. And with that eyes and smile, how on earth could I lie, nor could I ignore her questions?

"Oppa, I'm not selfish or anything, but..." She hesitates.

"Go on, tell me. Don't beat around the bush." I smile.

"Is there anyway I, or we can stop you from debuting solo?" 

I knew it. I sigh. "No one can't." 

"Why are you doing this? I mean, I don't mean to interfere in your business, but... You know your condition, right?" She says gently.

I close my eyes, searching for the proper words carefully. "I want to give my CNBLUE brothers a break."

She nods, accepting my answer passively. She knows I'm telling the truth. "But singing..." Is what made you sick, she wants to say, but she can't. "Don't you want to get well first?" She purses her lips together.

"You can't just stop doing what you love. You can't just abandon your passion." I say lightly.

Her eyes softens with hurt and awe. "You're right."

I let out a bitter laugh. "I didn't know something I love can kill me." I say out loud without thinking.

"Oppa." She warns, her voice hard. 

"Sorry." How could I be so careless to say things I shouldn't say when she's right in front of me. 

Yonghwa, wake up.

She's quiet for a while. Great job Yonghwa, now, how to lighten up the mood.

"You said you want to see my songs I composed about you?"

Her eyes glinted. "About me?" 

I scratch my head. Stupid. "Uh, well, yeah."

She nods, her head, bobbing fast. 

I give her my notebook and she scans it right away. Her eyes run to and fro every page, reading every word. At times she smiles then frowns. How am I supposed to react to that? Aigoo. Seo Juhyun is just hard to read.

"Hmm." She nods her head slow. "These songs are so sad, and made even sadder when I realized that you wrote it while thinking of me."

What is there to say? I knew her reaction will be like this. 

"'That one fine day I can never go back to.'" She reads aloud. "'One fine day, a teary day.'"

"Guess the title." 

She looks at me blankly. "One fine day?"

I nod. "You're a genius, Seohyun-ah."

"'My days without you aren't that sad at all," she shoots me dagger eyes as she jumps to another line of the song. "It's actually better without you. Really, not a single thing has changed, we didn't even share a deep love. I didn't even feel that you're not here. Without you. I'm happy without you." She reads the lyrics with a voice like a robot's. "The lyrics, are great. And thank you for making me an inspiration for these songs to be possible." She says sarcastically, disappointment coloring her tone.

"Yah, it's not that." I say, standing up to sit beside her on my bed. 

She pouts. "Really, should I feel happy after reading these?" She glares.

"Look, look." I place the notebook on my lap. "One fine day. I wrote that song when I was losing hope that we could be together again. I tried moving on, you know." I say rather shyly. "But then, one night I saw you in the MBC lobby and somehow, hope lit within me." I carefully tell her. 

She smiles. What a relief.

"And for the song 'Without You" that song wasn't done yet until tonight." I jerk my head to the side, remembering when I started to write. "I think I started writing it right after 'One fine Day,' but the last chorus and the ending weren't done yet." I flip the page and point the last line. 

"If you were here, I think it'll be better. I wish you were here." I read. "That line popped out of my head when I was leaning on your shoulders and thought, 'I would not know what to do in this kind of situation if Juhyun wasn't here.'"