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o the outside, it was simply a school for the elite. The best of the best went here, the president’s children, all the politician’s children, the heirs of all the big companies, and the list could go on. But there was one thing that people who weren’t part of the school were unaware of. This was a school designated for the supernatural. This was Dreamwave. But there was one last dark secret it held; would the time come where it would finally be revealed? And would those who discovered it be able to handle what they had just found?

First Impression [ 10/15 ] 

› Title [ 4/5 ] Interesting title. I like how it connects with the story.
› Foreword and Description [ 6/10 ] Your description is just vague enough that it is intriguing. However, your actual story doesn't spend a lot of time focusing on the school or how the children are all rich and such, like one would think it does. So the description is slightly misleading.

Language [ 18/20 ]

› Sentence Structure & Grammar [ 8/10 ] I can tell you're a rookie writer from your grammar and sentence structure alone. It has some holes in it and is at times a little confusing. I would rec getting a more experienced beta reader, they would help a lot. Other than that, it's something that time and experience and practice will help as well :)
› Vocab, Punctuation, & Spelling [ 10/10 ] No big mistakes from what I can see.

Storyline [ 19/35 ]

› Plot & Flow [ 15/30 ] Okay there are a few problems with plot in this story. First and foremost, what even is the plot?? Your story is unique and interesting but you're not writing it to its full potential. There is so much world building to be done! Explain the hierarchy at the school, explain legionnaires. What the hell are legionnaires? Where do they come from? What is their purpose? If the Institute is doing illegal experiments why haven't they been shut down? Is the government keeping them up? Where the hell are all these kids' parents? What companies do they own? Does the school have a normal curriculum as well, one that teaches math and literature? What year is this taking place in? Modern day? Far far future? Not so far future? Where does this take place? What is the world like? What language are they speaking? Are there other cultures affected by the legionnaires? Do they watch movies? Are there idols they enjoy listening to? Build up this world! Give it flesh, make it real, create it, really pour yourself into it. It could be truly fascinating if you put the time and effort into it.Where is the story going? What meaning do you want it to have? What messages does it send? Ask yourself all of these questions and write accordingly.
› Uniqueness [ 4/5 ] A unique story, although the whole "elite school" shishkabob has been cooked a million times. I like what you're doing with it.

Characterization [ 5/20 ]

› Character growth & Development [ 5/20 ] I kind of specialize in critiquing characters so this is going to be long and brutal. Prepare yourself. Here are some general critiques:

Please openly describe all your characters. It's kind of a pet peeve of mine when the characters get no ph