~Jonghun POV~

It's been a week since I was at the hospital and since then, another dead-end for me in looking for hongki. and this is much worse since now I know that he is sick and dying and I can't even do anything for him as I don't even know where he is right now. I'm getting depressed as each day comes but I won't lose hope. I will find you, my hongki.

As I cuddle myself in my bed sadly, my phone rang suddenly, I looked at my phone and realized that it was Seunghyun, so I answered it.

"Hey, Jonghun, I know how sad you are right now, but remember you are a guest at a radio show today. Don't miss it, it's also for your album." Seunghyun told me.

"Okay, I'll go." I said as I stood up and went to take a bath.

I remembered that hongki would have been also a guest at that radio show, but he's gone. however, knowing this, hongki might be very well listening to it by chance, so I'll go and perhaps give my message to him there. If he hears it perchance, and thinks about calling or anything, at least my chances of locating where he is would increase to great proportions and seeing him again sooner might be possible.

After taking a bath, I immediately dressed up and went to my appointment. As I drove to the radio station, my thoughts were filled with hongki, how I miss him and his smile. How I miss my love.

~Hongki POV~

*Cough* *Cough*

It's getting worse. I feel dizzy most of the time now, and I can't even stay up for long now. thank god that grandmother is here and is taking care of me. Though I am happy that I have met a caring person like this grandmother who is taking good care of me despite my condition, I also feel sad that I am not with him and we are not together right now. Now that my time is near, my last wish is to see him before I go.

Then, I remembered that we should be guesting a radio show today. I immediately the radio and waited for him. at least listening to his voice could cheer me up and make me happy. As I waited, Grandmother Moon Hee* joined me in my room carrying two cups of tea.

"Are you feeling better now?" She asked with concern.

"No, but maybe after I listen to his voice on the radio, I will." I said smiling.

"You really miss him don't you?" she asked me directly.

"Yeah, I really miss him. I want to see him. I want to be with him." I said now feeling a little bit lonely.

"Then why don't you call him, and tell him where you are? If you really love him and want to be with him, then you should tell him where you are." She told me.

"I don't want him to see me suffering like this. I want him to remember me as I used to be; smiling and cheerful. That when I pass away, he will remember me as the one who was healthy and always happy, not this frail and fragile person I have become." I replied as I became sad again.

"No child, how you look and how you are right now, they do not matter in terms of love. you love each other, then you should be with each other, unlike what happened to me years ago.

I tried to realize what she meant and reflected on what she told me when the radio show started. I waited anxiously for and anticipated for my beloved Jonghun.

~Jonghun POV~

"I noticed that Lee Hongki is not here. Where could he be? And would you also sing for our dear listeners?" the DJ told me.

"Actually, the songs that I'm going to sing is for him, that after this, he might tell me where he is." I said to her.

and after that I started to sing:

"The me who loved you more than me,

the me who knew nothing but you

With you telling me to forget,

what am I supposed to do?

the me who loved you more than me,

the me who only loved you

Couldn’t you return to me again?"

I hoped that he has listened to our song that I had sung and with that, he contacts me in any way so I will know where he is. I'm hoping that I would know soon where he is so I might see him now. my dearest Hongki. after singing the song, I wanted to cry but I didn't. instead, I chose another song and sang it, in hopes that he is listening:

"Leaving only a small dream inside my heart that loved you,

Why you so easily left me

I'm going to try to understand you now

I won't be able to love anyone else ever again

I'm locked inside this sadness that I'm getting used to.

Maybe someday we'll see each other again

before our memories fade away within sadness."

As I continued the song, my thoughts were only on him and how he is right now. I do hope and wish that I'll know where he is even in this moment. My love, my hongki.

~Hongki POV~

As I listened to him sing those songs, my tears slowly flowed and I cried, I cried like never before. Grandmother embraced me tightly and told me to stop crying, but I can't. It hurts, It hurts a thousand times as the pain struck my heart directly.

"What's wrong my dear? don't cry, tell me about it." she said repeatedly.

and I answered her, while I am crying "As I think about the past, the tears will come out. Reality is too cruel, too brutal. I don't even have the right to dream. As i think about the future, the tears will come out again."

She embraced me tighter and told me "Hush now my dear. stop crying, it's alright. everything's okay, always remember that there are many people who love you and will always care for you, and take strength from the fact."

Still I cried in her embrace. I understood what she meant but the pain is still there.  I kept thinking, should I call Jonghun or not? the hurt of his message through those songs; his sad melody, all those hurt.  I can't decide for myself, then I thought about my disease. Why did this disease choose me? because of it, I am in countinuous pain right now, all my happiness faded away and in my heart, I am alone. Is it because of fate? how cruel would it be to deny me of happiness. how painful is it to live like this. How painful to not see him and his smile and what hurts more is knowing that I won't be able to stay longer in this world with him. I feel like dying even at this moment.

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Here's another update... sorry to keep you waiting.. kekeke... ^_^

hope you like this chapter, and I'll try to update again before this year ends.. Belated Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everyone!!!

*I changed the name of the grandmother. if anyone of you notices it; from Ji Young it became Moon Hee. kekeke... ^_^