~Fluffy’s Refuge~

Chenguang’s POV

If girls can offer good advice on relationships then so can a guy, right?

“Luhan, if you were a girl-“

“No.”

“Wait, I didn’t fini-“

“Nuh-uh.”

“Come on! I need your help here! So, if you were a girl, erm…Uh..Lu..Lu uh..Lulette? Hanna? Okay, Hanna.”

“I am not having this conversation with you. It’s uncomfortable, man.” He told her and stood up from the couch and hurriedly made his way to his room leaving me to my confused state.

Checking the time, I sighed in disappointment as I realized I had to get to university.

(At the university)

“So, Kris, my awesome friend. Say for example, you were a girl.”

Kris immediately gave me an offended look while slowly inching away as far as he could from me in the desk we shared (about 13cm between us now).

“I know, I know, you should have seen Luhan’s reaction. Anyway, so imagine you’re a girl, erm..Kristal. Yeah, Kristal, so you like-“

“Shhhh…” Kris placed a finger on his lip and shushed me again when I tried to say something. “You’re scaring me.”

I frowned and swatted his hand away, slouching in my seat.

My eyes unconsciously drifted to the other side of the classroom where I saw Lay, he was smiling fondly at his phone and if I had to play the role of a girl who jumps to conclusions, I’d say he’s texting that girl he was with. Pft. I felt like I had no right to feel jealous when I couldn’t even figure out my own feelings here. Why couldn’t I be a potato? A potato doesn’t have to through things like this.

I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place and it’s so uncomfortable.

I sent a quick look towards Kris who immediately notice and crossed his arms with a raise of his angry-looking brow.

Hanna and Kristal were of no help AT ALL.

“Kai-lee.”

Jongin coughed as the energy drink he was consuming went down the wrong pipe. Sulli immediately inched away from him and looked at him up and down strangely.

“Excuse me?” Jongin questioned in a cracked tone. “What did you just call me?”

“Kai-lee.” I blinked. “Like Kylie, but with Kai and Lee, see what I did there? Anyway, Kai-lee, as my personal assistant who can help me sort out my feelings-“

“I quit.” Jongin blankly stated.

“Oh! Tell me! Let me help you!” Sulli eagerly bounced in her seat.

“Stay out of this, Jinki.”

Sulli paused and then huffed. “Is that supposed to be the male version of my name?”

“Guys, I screwed up.” I pouted and buried my face in my hands.

“Tell us something new-Ouch!” Jongin glared at Sulli who gave him an offending look.

“What happened?” Sulli asked.

“I…Sehun quit a while ago, but he hasn’t been in touch during that time and I went to see him a few days ago. You know that fun and recreational day thing we needed a sponsor for?” I reminded them and I could practically see the puzzles fitting together on Sulli’s face.

“No way.” She gasped.

“Say it ain’t so!” Jongin joined in.

“Way and it so is so. It was Sehun’s dad’s company. And, bada-bim-bada-boom Sehun works there, what are the chances.”

Jongin mumbled in thought. “Quite high, actually, considering it’s his dad’s company and all.”

“So some drama happened and after we got everything sorted and we were about to leave, he stops me!” I raise my hands in the air for emphasis.

“You should’a just left, girl!” Sulli expressed.

“I should have! Really! My ride home would have been a Lamborghini! But no, as I was saying, Sehun stops me and looks at me like I’m about to leave this country to go back to China and he says ‘please’ with this soft tone and I swear there was a hint of a lisp!” I tugged at my hair strands just remembering that moment. “If he does it like that there’s no way I‘d leave!”

“This is so not my forte.” Jongin awkwardly shook his head.

“Then he tells me ‘we need to talk’ and I’m just standing there like ‘whaaaaaat, unbelievable’ cause wow, I’m alone with Sehun after who knows how long. So he tells me he thought I’d be angry at him and he apologizes, guys, he apologized!”

“He did?” Sulli smiled hopefully and I nodded. “I hope you accepted it!”

“Of course I did, you know me, I don’t do grudges. But check this out, his hand goes up to my face and his eyes are looking straight into mine and he’s like, putting a loose strand of my super saiyan hair behind my ear, it was windy that day, just saying. My hair was like an untamed bush in a park.”

“I’m pretty sure this whole explanation is supposed to sound romantic but you’re just butchering it.”

“QUIET KAI, THIS IS MY STORY!” I dramatically yelled and flicked my ponytail to the side. “So I bring his hand down, right, and I tell him straight up that what he’s doing isn’t fair. Cause it’s like he’s been flirting with me and playing with me since a while ago and-“

“What about Yixing?” Sulli asked, confused. “I thought you liked him.”

“I’m getting there!” I grit through my teeth. “So, he kept sending me mixed signals and made me feel funny when I was sure I only liked Lay. See, I’m there now.” I huffed at Sulli. “Then he tells me he likes me-“

Sulli lets out a whale-ish squeal and starts clapping like a seal. Jongin is rolling his eyes and looks like he’s being tortured horrifically just listening to me.

“You done?” I dully ask and she nods with a happy grin she can’t wipe off her face.

“Truth is, I couldn’t even give the guy a straight answer cause I didn’t even know where my feelings lied.”

Jongin let out a huge sigh. “Here we go.”

“I really, really liked Lay. A lot.” I nodded to myself. “But with Sehun, everything feels so natural. Like, I don’t find myself trying around him, I’m not walking on eggshells around him and as funny as it sounds, I like it when we go at each other like we do. Competition, you know? Sure, we’re arguing but, we aren’t serious and usually it’s kinda fun even if he wins the majority of the time.” I fondly smile just thinking about it. “With Lay, I just want him to notice me and see how much I really adore him. He’s so kind and nice, the total opposite of Sehun but he’s so….Him.”

“Wonderful.” Jongin says with a tone laced heavily in sarcasm.

“Not to mention Lay’s most likely interested in someone else who isn’t me.” What does she have that I don’t?

“Well, what are you going to do?” Sully looks at me sympathetically. Yes. That’s right, feel sympathy for me, I’m struggling here!

“I don’t know, he told me to see him once I was sure of how I feel towards him. Why couldn’t one of them be Kim Myungsoo, it would have made everything a whole lot easier!” I’m whining now, what can I say, it’s a talent.

Kai groaned. “Well, you have to do something so we don’t- no, I don’t have to listen to your relationship problems.”

Here’s the funny thing, Jongin, I’M NOT IN A RELATIONSHIP.

YET.

Till I make up my confused mind anyway.

“I’d tell you to follow your heart but you might just end up kidnapping Myungsoo if you do.” Sulli joked in an attempt to lighten the mood. “Gotta be honest though, I’m feeling pretty sorry for Sehun here.”

“Hey!” I gasped feeling offended.

“Sorry.” She sheepishly laughed. “It’s just…the girl he likes doesn’t feel the same way he does. Here you are, confused and not to mention Lay doesn’t see you in the same way you see him.”

“That’s right Sulli, throw salt on the slug, why don’t you?” I sarcastically drawled and crossed my arms. She made a fair point, it was like Sehun drew the short end of the pocky stick, or should I say the chocolate-free part of the pocky stick.

“You know what,” I exhaustedly grumbled and stood up, “I’m done with this, might as well just go straight for it.” I was determined now, I felt unstoppable, I was on a role! I actually had some sort of motivation.

Jongin carefully eyed me and inched away, “What are you doing?”

“Something I should have done long ago…” I stuck my hands in my jacket’s pockets and strolled off, not sparing my two friends a glance as my I made my way towards my goal for the day.

I’m done running and I dislike feeling confused, here I go!

I AM READY FOR THIS!

I am not ready for this.

This was a bad idea, who said running was bad? I mean, who doesn’t get confused about their feelings?

I was fidgeting with the zipper of my jacket as I stood at Lay’s locker shifting my weight from foot to foot in hopes it would help steady me. He should be making his way to his locker in a few minutes if memory serves me righ- never mind here he is. I’m not ready. I should just make a run for it.

Oh no.

Too late, he saw me.

See, this is why I never made it to the track team. I missed the signal and I wasn’t exactly the fastest runner around.

“Hey, Cheng-cheng!” Lay beamed at me, his dimple catching my attention the moment he smiled.

Zhang Yixing, so help me, put that dimple away! It’s distracting me and shifting me from my plan!

“H-hi, I uh…I need to…need to…” I need to pee. “I need to talk to you.”

He tilted his head like a curious puppy, urgh! STAHP IHHHT! “About what?”

“Actually, I have something to confess…” I bit my lip and I was mentally telling myself to shut up and run already, my legs felt funny and my stomach was doing somersaults.

“I’m listening.” He gently said and adjusted the straps of his bag on his back and stared at me expectantly.

Here goes.

Macho me, woman up, Chenguang!

“Give me a minute.” I told him and turned around and leaned against the locker. I started making awkward grunts and ran my fingers through my hair in a frenzy. I think this was supposed to be some coping method. I had a feeling I knew what the outcome of this would be. I pat myself audibly against my chest and turned to face him again, Lay had a bewildered and stunned look on his face.

“I like you.” I told him seriously.

“I like you too.” He responded immediately.

“You…you do?” I blinked, that totally caught me off guard.

“Yeah, you’re a really nice girl and I’ve never met anyone like you before.”

Sweet pancakes.

“I….I’m…” I’m at a loss for words, I’m sorry, this is just too unbelievable. I can’t keep my fingers still and I feel unusually light on my feet right now, is this normal?

“That’s why I think you’re a great friend.”

….

Moldy pancakes.

“I’m sorry, what?” I asked in a flat tone and had an expression to match it. “A great friend?”

Yixing looked concerned and unsure for a second as an uncomfortable atmosphere settled between us. “Um, yeah. I always thought of you as a friend. We are friends, right?”

Was he in a totally different universe during the time I thought the two of us were actually going to have something special going on?

“Lay, no, Yixing. I liked you.” I twiddled my thumbs and took in a huge amount of air, “A lot. Not as a friend, not as an acquaintance and not as a colleague.” By now Yixing was silent and the expression on his face was unreadable at this point. “As a romantic interest.”

It was quiet after that. I could hear people from outside laughing amongst each other, their joyful laughter was a stark contrast to the grim and uneasy expression Lay had and the tense atmosphere I created.

“Look, Chenguang. I’m sorry, but-“

I cut him off with a smile, it wasn’t a happy or sad smile, it was just a smile.

“It’s okay, I know. You don’t feel the same.”

“But I-“

“I’d rather not have you say it, if you don’t mind. I don’t know if I’ll be able to handle that, believe it or not, I’m capable of producing tears.” I awkwardly laughed and at this point I couldn’t handle the look of pity in his eyes and shifted my eyes towards the patterns of his jersey instead. “I know you don’t see me that way, but in the time I’d known you I had somehow come to like you more than I should. And although this is hard for me to admit, I can’t even fathom how I’m capable of saying this but…I fell for someone else but I can’t open that door until I close the other. So Lay…” I looked back at him and grinned widely, he looked surprised, probably wondering how I was able to smile in such a situation. “I’m going to have to let you go.”

“Me?” He blinked a few times and looked puzzled.

“Yep. It’s not you, it’s me.  This is something I have to do, I gotta put on my big-girl shoes and take charge. Moping around isn’t going to help me. Don’t get me wrong, Lay, you’re a great guy. You have dimples, you’re taller than me, you’re nice to me. Treat her well, okay?”

He coughed and leaned forward. “Her?”

“Yes, her.” I crossed my arms and frowned. “The girl you’re hanging around with a lot lately. The one you were with at the fun and recreational day!”

The tips of his ears turned red and the corner of his lips twitched indicating he was fighting back a small smile.

“Yep, seems like you know who I’m talking about. I have to go now. Thanks for listening, you probably want to get to your locker.” I stepped away and as I was about to walk off he grabbed me by my arm gently.

“Hey.” He softly called. I turned to look at him wordlessly. “Thanks for confessing and I’m sorry about how it turned out.”

He’s apologizing for not liking me in the same way, how much nicer can you get, man!?

“Don’t worry about it.” I waved him off. “Thanks for listening to me confess for the very least. I hope this doesn’t make things awkward between us.”

“I should hope not.” He smiled back at me and as I walked further and further away from him, I could still feel his eyes on me until I turned left to the other block of the school and allowed myself to do something I hardly indulged in. I cried.

“And then I told him to treat her well!” I wailed and blew my nose loudly into the tissue as I sat beside a tortured-looking Kyungsoo who by this point, realized I was impossible to just simply ignore. Yixing was still at his extra classes and Tao was avoiding me and eyeing me like I was about to jump him. Junmyeon was quick to notice my mood and made a hurried dash to his tiny office in the back and hasn’t come out since. That, of course, left poor Kyungsoo out here with me as his job title was designated to staying behind the counter.

“I was so strong!” I sniffed, “What if I made him feel guilty that he doesn’t like me back!? I’m a horrible person, aren’t I!?”

As if it was automatic, he gave me a tissue without looking at me and cringed when I squeaked out a thank you and loudly blew my nose. I’m emotional right now, okay! I don’t know how to handle all of this! I’m not used to feeling this way and I can’t take it.

“He’s so nice it’s unbelievable, Soo.” I crumpled the tissue and wiped a few stray tears away. “He thanked me for confessing even though he kindly rejected me, who does that!?” I should have never liked him in the first place but I don’t control how my body reacts to beautiful humans.

“Are you punishing me or something?” Kyungsoo finally spoke with an exasperated tone, his body seemed rigid. “Whatever I did to you, I’m sorry, okay? Just please, stop crying!”

I pouted. “I can’t!”

“Yes, you can!” He rolled his eyes and leaned against the counter. “So, he doesn’t like you even though you like him. Just get over it! He’s not the only guy for you, do you have any idea how many eligible males there are for you in this country? Yixing’s one out of that many and even with him off that list, there’s still the many others and I’m sure out of that many, one of them probably likes you for who you are.” He looked at me up and down and flung another tissue my way. “Snot and all.”

I was rendered speechless and cleaned my face as best I could with the tissue he’d given me. “Kyungsoo…”

“What?”

I threw a used tissue at him which he unfortunately managed to dodge with a fearful look on his face. “You at comforting.”

A figure cautiously and slowly peeked his head out from the room Lay usually did his work in and I recognized the figure as Tao immediately. “Is it safe yet?”

“TAOOOOOO~!” My hands reached towards his direction as tears built up again, Tao let out a pitched shriek and slammed the door closed immediately.

“Stay away from me!” His muffled scream came from the through the door.

My feet led me to Junmyeon’s door and creepily enough, before I could knock his voice resounded from the other side. “Don’t even think about it.”

When I got home, I curled up on the couch debating whether or not I should go see Sehun. I felt horrible. I mean, sure, I kinda knew Lay never saw me in that way but I still had hope and to hear him reject me in the kindest way possible just didn’t help me any.

Forget Lay, what was I going to do about Sehun? There was no doubt about it that Sehun was very important to me, the very fact that I felt like the villain in all this was proof of it and in my defense, with the way Sehun treated me in the beginning, I’d never have thought that the guy would see me as a romantic interest. He was always so sarcastic and blunt with me, he made me feel inferior like it was his day-job. Lay never ridiculed me and looked out for me like an older brother would.

Like an older brother?

Oh no, he probably saw me as some sort of younger sister, I’ve been sibling-zoned.

“Could you please get off the couch? Manchester’s game is about to start in the next few minutes and you’re in my spot.” Luhan tapped his foot impatiently.

“Han-han…” I pouted and watched his face twist into a shocked and bewildered one. I hadn’t called him that since I was a kid and it was usually when I was down in the dumps and ran to my brother for some sort of refuge. “I messed up.”

Luhan stood for a bit before sighing and sitting next to me. I shuffled so that I could lean against his arm while his head rested against mine. Mufasa, now the size of a well-grown cat of nearly a full year, jumped up the couch and snuggled against the side of my leg. I hadn’t been this close to my brother in a while and I couldn’t help feeling touched that he still willingly comforted me.

“What’s up, kiddo?”

“I got rejected.”

I heard a snort and glared up at Luhan who immediately pulled a straight face. “That’s terrible, my condolences.” He comfortingly patted my back. “So, what’s the big deal?”

“I just told you, I got rejected.” I whined and nudged him a bit to get my point across.

“By who? Sehun?”

I scrunched my face up in thought. “Well, I meant Yixing but yeah, kinda by Sehun but he basically told me to go seeing once I set my feelings straight.”

Luhan hummed in thought. “Based on what you’re saying, I’m guessing you liked Yixing and Sehun liked you. You confessed to Yixing who rejected you and Sehun doesn’t want to see you till you have a clear answer for him.”

“That’s freaky, bro.”

“I’ll take that as the fact that I was right. Alright, listen up, cause I’m only going to say this once.” He placed his hands on my shoulders and looked me in the eye. “It’s better to love than to have love lost….” He paused, “Did I say that properly?”

He shrugged it off and continued, “Basically what I’m saying is, if you fell for someone and it never worked out, then fine. At least you got to experienced what it was like and how nice it felt. But if you know you have someone who loves you more than you know and you know you possibly feel something for that person as well, go for it.”

I clutched his top tightly, “But what if I’m still unsure about my-“

“Oh please.” He scoffed and rolled his eyes. “How can you be unsure? You have to move on and that’s easier said than done, but you have to. If you don’t think you’re good enough for Sehun and you don’t know whether or not you love him like he does you, then give yourself some time. If he really loves you he’d wait for you. So stop moping around and get your act together, where’s my tough little sister?”

Out of all the people I tried confiding in today, it was my brother that made me feel better about myself and made me less confused. I managed a smile that wasn’t masked or forced and hugged Luhan in gratitude. “Thank you, Han-han.”

I knew what I had to do. I had to clear up my mess, get my priorities straight and more importantly, I needed prepare myself to face Oh Sehun.

AAAAAYY

Here's an update for you guys! The chapters went from 50 something to the amount you see and I tried clearing up a lot of errors so if you notice any, do let me know! Lots of things going on in this chapter, do you think it's moving too fast? I'd really like some comments and thoughts on the story, tell me your opinions, tell me who's your favourite character, what's your favourite scene, etc.