Chapt 9

To see you again

Somehow, God always has a bigger plan for us than we have for ourself. However hard Jonghyun tried to let her go and forget everything about her, but working on this industry seems like couldn't be easy to avoid each other presence. Just like last year, this year both CNBLUE and SNSD had to do their comeback almost at the same time. They would possibly meet at many events to promote their new album. It could be 3 or 4 times they accidentally met during their promo in or out side the country. Even in their off air show, variety show or even for the radio show, their interaction seems couldn't be avoided.

And the both of Jonghyun and Yoona only could greet each other as simple as they can since it was a part of politeness and professional etiquette. Never even one word they ever said. And the familiar aching felt like never ended everytime they had to pretended as a stranger.

In almost every talk show SNSD attended, the topic about Yoona and Seunggi's relationship kept on asking by the MC. It for Jonghyun. It was hurt to see the girl that he love blossoming when she talked about another namja. That smile was his. Yes that smile.

Today, CNBLUE will perform at SBS for promote their new album. They had been there since 8.00 am. And shooting would start at 11.00 am.

Jonghyun was about to get out from the restroom before his steps stopped by a familiar voice. He used to know that voice. Ania.. he still know her voice pretty well. Sounded like she called someone on the phone. Accidentally, he eavesdropping their conversation.

“Ahraso, Oppa. Geok cheongmaseo. Just concern to your own body and be healthy very soon | Nde, mianhaeo.. i should be there when you sick like that. But... eottokhaeo, our shcedules jinjjaa...! | Nde, aegaeseo. Oppa too, take care, okay?! Soon after i finished my work, i'll go to your place. See you soon, Oppa!"

That girl ended her conversation. Jonghyun still trapped on the restroom and doesn't dare to out of there. It could be really awkward if they met at the moment like that. Yup! With Im Yoona of course.

Unconsciously, he caress his own chest. The pain still felt so real inside it. When it started to healed, but... again.. her face, her voice, her presence made it bloody again and again. And a moment ago, he heard it by his own ears. She talked to her lover so sweetly. It used to be him whom she ever talked with that way.

Huuffh... he released his sigh wished it could decrease the narrow inside.

As the time goes by, Yoona started to settled herself as Seunggi's real girlfriend even though she realized this story could be vanish anytime. But to see all of his kindness, to recieved anything that he'd done for her, she know.. she couldn't ingone him that way. It's true. Yoona tried it. She tried to forget Lee Jonghyun and open her heart for Seunggi.

****

It was time to record their performance. CNBLUE was ready on the stage. Shooting would be starting in a fiw minutes latter. They gonna sing 5 songs from their newest album plus Love Light, I'm Sorry and I Will Forgive You. This show would be aired in the next day.

It was a little bit weird, coz I Will Forget You is rarely sang in TV performance like that. But this time, Jonghyun put this song on the list. And because of his brothers understood about it, they allowed this broken heart man to sing that song without asking much.

Finally, they reached the end of that show. When the MC presented for their last performance, by any chance Jonghyun looked at someone who stood up in front of the studio door. His eyes caught the presence of a girl who stared at him with her anguish eyes.

"Okay... the last question, yeorobun! What are your new year wishes? For your career, family and yeaah... love maybe?" The MC asked the fantastic four with his joking style.

"Our wishes are, hope the album that we made it with full of heart will be excepted by heart for our beloved fans and all of our listener in every segment. I wish, CNBLUE could always make more inspirative, honest, and entertaining music for everyone. We also hope, that we would have a long lasting career as CNBLUE, until we getting older.

To be a person like we are now, we wish we could make our parents proud of us. We knew, it was such a hard and a dangerous decision when we chose to be a musician. It might be hard to our parents too for gave us this chance. But now, we can say to them...

'Eomma, Appa... geok cheongmaseo, your stubborn child is live really well now. I'll never make you feel regret for having me as your son. Kamsahamnida, for everything. Saranghaeo, Eomma.. Appa..' "

There is a little dew in the corner of his eyes, when Yonghwa said those words. He really mean it. This career is mean everything for them.

"Whoaa... you're grow up, Yonghwa ah. Jinjja.. it was so touching. I'm sure, your parent should be really proud to all of you. Ah... i miss my parents too..." The MC acted as he was about to cry, and the audiences inside the studio laugh in the unison.

"Okay... and for Love Resolution? Eei... maldo andwe.. for the handsome mans like all of you i won't believe it if you say that you don't have someone special, right?"

"Jinjjayo, Hyung.. to talked about love, yeaah.. we're adults now and we're mature enough to having such a relationship. But, we decided to focus on our career first. It just a matter of time. If we done with our responsibility as a new commers idol, at least when we're ready enough mentally and financially, and we've find a right person to be our soulmate, oneday... we want to have that kind of love story. But for now... music is our number one priority."

The Leader explained with his awesome answer. Minhyuk and Jungshin noded as they were agree with what his hyung said. But Lee Jonghyun seems like lost with his own world. His gazed still locked with the girl in the door.

"How about you, Jonghyun ah?" The MC tried to brought his attention back.

"Oh? Oo.. jaega.. i do agree with hyung. The point is... i wish the happiness for everyone. I wish, there is no more pain, hurt, hate, and bad memories on this year. Yes. I want to be happy and live my life normally." Jonghyun smile bitterly. He bowed his head down. The MC was a little bit confused with his sentimental statement. But soon, he tried to cheer his program up again.

"Whoaa.. such a deep thought, Jonghyun ah! Okay, about I Will Forget You, wae kamjagie you chose this song? It felt so melancholic to start a new year with this song, right?" Even the MC aware about this. But he is not Jung Yonghwa The Leader anymore if he couldn't handle this kind of question.

"As i expected, everyone should be asking why did suddenly we bring this song. Just like our newest album which is filled with personal reflection. You know, the album want to tell you about a part of our journey. My journey, especially. You're right, we're mature enough to had such an experience with love, longing, loosing and broken heart. Even though it happened in past, but when i tried to record those memories into my songs, it could be daebak!

Every memories for me are special. Both on career or love, i think it's something that i can treasured as a great teacher to make me a better person. Although when we failed or broken, it still could be something that i can learn to.

And this I Will Forget You song, i felt this song has a similar nuance with our album now. This song told about to let someone you love go for the sake of their happiness. It sound so great to started a new year, i guessed! Let her go is the best way for you to love her. Yes, just like that." Yonghwa chuckled by his own ridiculous answer. At least, it was the one he could do for Jonghyun.

The MC noded his head as he understood with Yonghwa's explanation. Jonghyun still bowed his head down.

"But, isn't this song wrote by Lee Jonghyun?" He asked.

"Maseumnida, i wrote it." Jonghyun answered it shortly.

"Whoaa.. are you just like Yonghwa, who wrote his love experience into his song? Was it about your personal experience too? Jamkamanyo, correct me if i'm wrong, this song told about to forget someone you love, move on, and you'll find a better one, right? Oug.. jinjja.. were your broken heart really that bad?" The MC asked again with his joking style. Everyone in studio laugh. Either with Yonghwa, Minhyuk and Jungshin. They tried to act as normal as possible. Though they knew his genuine reason.

“Animida.. Actually, i wrote that song after i watched my favorite drama. It was a really sad drama and the story really touched me. I wrote that song before i knew how it felt when i really love someone and how hurt it gonna be when i loss her. I never thought that the feeling could be 1000 times worse than the drama i watched when finally i got experiencing it  for real. I thought.... 'Waah.. is this what people said as broken heart?' Hahaha... but it was funny, when i was broken, precisely i couldn't make any songs! Jinjayo.."

He ended his words with laugh. The MC responed his laugh with the same laugh. Indeed, he expected Jonghyun really made a joke. But his three brothers and the girl who still stood up in front of the door knew, he wasn't kidding at all. And it was definitely not funny!

And it was time to performed their last song. I Will Forget You would sang so sadly by it writer voice.

I will forget you.

 Starting today, I don’t know you.

I have never seen you.

We never even walked pass each other.

I’m okay.

I forgot everything.

I’m happy with my busy life.

I’ve met a great person too.

Jonghyun leading the vocal on this song. He close his eyes right after he stared to sang, but slowly... he opened his eyes again and straight to saw her there. Yoona still stood there. 

One by one those memories appeared on his mind along with the melody he played. He still locked her gazed.

Love is always like this.

It fades away after some time.

Can’t even remember it, Oh.

When love goes away, another love comes again.

It definitely will.

Even if it hurts now, it will heal a little later.

It will forget.

I will too.

He tried to held his urgent tears for never ever fall in front of her anymore. Indeed, he sang that song to tell his heart out. Fortunately, that girl was right there saw him and heard his song. He tried really hard to controled his pitch although his voice began throaty as the pain felt so aching inside his heart.

It’s not difficult.

I will forget everything after today.

I’m just getting used to my changed life.

Oh~ No.

Love is always like this.

It fades away after some time.

Can’t even remember it. Yes~

I will erase everything.

I definitely will.

He saw her wiped her face with her two hands.

'Is she crying' He wondered.

'But why is she cry? Is it because of the lyric? Is she felt broken when she heard me sing that i'll forget her. I'll forget everything about her. But.. isn't it already over? She told me that! It's over for her. Why? Why do you cry, Yoona ah?'

Those thought filled his brain when he sang that song so sadly.

When love goes away

another love comes again

It definitely will.

Even if tears fall now

I will smile a little later

I will (now) forget you (now)

Just like a wound heals…

I will. I will. I will forget you.

I Will Forget You – CNBLUE

And their performance had finally done. Yoona wasn't there anymore when Jonghyun opened his eyes along with the ending of his song. He inhealed a heavy breath. Felt like a big rock stucked on his lungs and it made him hard to breath.

'God, please.. when do this pains will over. When do this reality will stop hurting me?'

At the outside, Yoona too.. she was busy to wiped her stupid tears. She retouched her make up at the restroom.

There was some figur reflected in the mirror. Yes, it was her reflection.

"Im Yoona, it is what you looked now. So sad, so depressed, and hopeless. Yes, you worth it! You shouldn't be happy, pabo! He's not happy so you can not too!"

She said it to her own shadow inside the mirror. Those eyes. It could be countless times the tears fell from it. She doesn't know, for how long those eyes still have to produce those damn liquids.

"Geurae, Oppa! You have to forget me! I wish, if i can grant you a wish, i'll erase all those hurtful memories from your mind. I'll erase all about my existence on your life. I'll make your life perfect without me inside there. Geok cheongma, Oppa! I won't be happy too! How can i smile while you cry bacause of me?"

Author note :

Igae eottokhaeyo? I wrote this story, but my heart is broken by my own story? T_T

Yup, you're right! Comunication is a simple thing, somehow. But when you failed to manage this simple thing, it could be a big problem that you gonna regret it.

Mianhaeyo, yeorobun... for wasting your tears.. kekekek..... :D

Thanks for keep reading.... love you... ^_^