I received a call at around seven in the morning on a Sunday a couple of months later and was a little annoyed that it was Baekhyun waking me up on my one day off all week. "What?" I answered a little rudely. 

"Good news, and bad news. What first?" he asked. 

"I can't stand any more bad news, Baekhyun. Help me out and give me the good news." I groaned. I spoke softly so as not to wake Chanyoung or my mother in the next room. 

"Mr. Kim called to say the search team came back." Baekhyun couldn't keep it in. "They came back having found a few dead bodies identified as the few escapers." 

I sunk my head into my pillow and groaned again, louder. "How is that good news?" I spoke into the pillow, speech muffled by the soft suffocation. 

"I haven't finished yet, hush." Baekhyun said impatiently. "Chanyeol wasn't one of them." 

I sat up, now wide awake. "Really?!" I shouted. "Oh my God! Thank God! Thank goodness!" Tears rimmed my eyes. I felt a surge of joy. 

This wasn't finding Chanyeol alive, but it wasn't finding Chanyeol dead. It was a step closer. And then I remembered. "But what's the bad news?"

Beakhyun paused long enough for me to repeat the question twice in my head. "They won't be searching anymore." he sighed finally. 

"That's absurd." Suddenly my tears froze. "They haven't found him dead so they won't find him? Who's bad idea was that?" 

"The volunteer group Mr. Kim was able to gather seemed to be rattled from being back out there. No one wanted to stay, especially after seeing only more dead people in uniforms when they had thought the nightmare was over. I can't hold it against them." Baekhyun burst. "But , I wish I could just go out there and find the piece of myself, kick his straight into hell for hiding so well!" 

"Baekhyun!" I scolded. I'm not sure why, but it made me feel uncomfortable to hear him use such bad words when he was such a well-mannered man normally. Was he coming undone? 

"I'm sorry." he whispered. His voice began to shake. "I'm just so angry!" That was a growl. 

"We'll find him somehow, Baekhyun. Don't give up hope." It was that phrase again. It was back to haunt me. It made Baekhyun scoff. 

"Don't give up hope. Right. I won't give up hope." Baekhyun said, and I couldn't tell if he was being sarcastic or not. 

We hung up soon after, and I took a shower, obviously unable to fall asleep again after this. For the first time in a long time I sang in the shower, my hairbrush becoming my microphone. The splish splash of the water at my feet calmed me a little bit. 

I made pancakes for Chanyoung and Mom, and the smell woke them up. Together we set the table and sat down. I told them the news I received. 

"What if we found our own group of volunteers?" Mom asked. 

"Eomma, it's a good idea, but where would we find that kind of amount of people?" I countered. 

"Well there are plenty of people. Chanyeol had many friends, and you underestimate your nation's capacity for benevolence. Why don't you make a page web or web net or whatever the young people call it?" Mom suggested. 

I mulled the thought over in my head. If I presented my story to other families who maybe had the same fears as I do now before their sons and husbands came back, would they be willing to help? I asked Baekhyun this on a private chat online. 

Min Seulyoung: How would it be if I made some sort of ad or page about Chanyeol to recruit volunteers? 

Byun Baekhyun: Explain. 

Min Seulyoung: Like, if I explained my situation to the world, at least to Korea, I could gather maybe a little bunch of people willing to help. 

Min Seulyoung: Do you think Mr. Kim would accept that? 

Min Seulyoung: Hello? 

Byun Baekhyun: Here. Thinking. 

Byun Baekhyun: That might work. 

Byun Baekhyun: We would have to run it by Mr. Kim. 

Min Seulyoung: Could you do that? I need to take Chanyoung to some family fun day at his school. 

Byun Baekhyun: You sound like a teenager being forced to go places with her parents. 

Byun Baekhyun: lol 

Byun Baekhyun: Sure, I'll do it. 

Min Seulyoung: Byun Baekhyun, you are a thirty-one year old man, don't you dare "lol" me. 

Byun Baekhyun: lol

Byun Baekhyun has signed out. 

"That punk." I said to myself. 

"Eomma, when are we going to leave?" Chanyoung asked me. 

"I'll be ready in a moment, sweetheart. We'll go then. Is halmeoni ready?" I asked him back. 

After a slight pause and soft mutterings, Chanyoung replied with a "Halmeoni says she's ready." 

I took off my morning wear and put on some black jeans and a pink long-sleeved cotton blouse. It had a deep V neck, but I wore a white camisole under it so I made it more mom-y. 

Chanyoung opened my door without knocking while I was brushing my hair. One of these days he's going to walk in on me changing and ask why I don't have a "wee-wee" in plain public. 

"You should knock before coming inside." I told him, putting the brush down and pulling my hair into a high ponytail. 

"Oops. Sorry, I forgot." He giggled, alluding that it was done on purpose. Aish, this kid. 

"Just remember next time, okay? You can't barge in like that." I adjusted my earrings and followed my hyperactive offspring to the door where my mother was putting on her shoes. I put mine on, grabbed my purse and light jacket and got out. I had to dig around to find my keys, but I managed to and finally I unlocked the doors. 

Mother sat beside me and Chanyoung sat in the back with his seatbelt on. The whole ride long, Chanyoung gave us a run down of the list of friends he had at school. They were all his best friends, as all friends were when you're six. Almost seven. Wow. Two months till he was another year older. Since it was November, and his birthday was in mid-January, I'd need to start thinking of something. I'll ask Soonkyu, I decided. She's good with this sort of thing. 

"Look, I see Taeyong already!" Chanyoung said as I pulled into the parking lot. When I turned off the engine, he instantly flew out of his seat and ran to his friend who was walking hand in hand with his mother. 

"Taeyong!" he called. "Hi!" 

Taeyong turned around at his name and beamed. "Hi, Chanyoung! Eomma, this is Chanyoung." He introduced my son to his mother. 

I joined them and Taeyong's mother shook my hand with a smile. I returned it. "My name is Miyoung." she said. She had long black hair and when she smiled, her eyes disappeared. 

"I'm Seulyoung." I replied. 

"Taeyong tells me a lot about your son." she said. 

Before I could reply, another boy came running up to us. "Chanyoung! Taeyong! You're finally here! Come on, they have the coolest games set up. Let's go play!" He grabbed the two boys by the arms and ran off. 

"Eomma, I'm leaving!" Chanyoung shouted as he was whisked away by his friend. I waved and laughed. I spotted my mother sitting with some other old ladies at some chairs. I turned back to Miyoung.  

"Would you like to accompany me to the drinks table?" I asked.

We talked the entire short distance. Correction, she spoke most of the time, because any time she asked me anything I would turn it back to her. I didn't exactly want to tell my whole life story to someone I just met. She told me all about herself; where she works (office job as a dentist's secretary), what her husband does (physiotherapist), how many pets they have (two birds and a dog), and so on and so forth. 

"What do you do?" she asked me. 

"I'm a civil engineer. Pretty much I deal with the design of buildings and stuff." I summarized. I was about to ask her the same question but she'd already answered it. Smart. Now I couldn't dodge her questions. 

"That's cool. How about your husband?" She seemed to mean well, but my face must have changed because she flushed. "Or, umm..." 

I flashed a tight-lipped grin. "It's okay." I forced myself to say. "He's..." been missing since the war "a professional photographer." 

"That's nice." Miyoung said softly. She seemed afraid to ask any more questions.

"Should we go see where our boys went?" I asked her. She nodded and we went off to find them, which proved to be harder than it seemed. Among all the small children running around, it was hard to stick out. 

Until someone yelled, "Eomma!" I tried to pinpoint the voice and found my son waving frantically from the line-up beside Taeyong and the other boy to play a game that involved popping water balloons with darts. I waved back. 

From across the room started what sounded more like a chant as it got closer. When I was able to make out the words, I recognized "Seulyoung-imo! Seulyoung-imo! Seulyoung-imo!" right before I felt the source (rather, sources) crash into me in a hug. I looked down to find Sooyeon and Soojung, the sixth and fifth grader respectively, with their arms wrapped around either of my legs. 

"Hello." I said with a giggle. "How are you two?"