"No~" I hear Jessica's cute whine muffled by my neck.

"Not yet. I don't care if you hate me after, just- I just need this right now okay? Please don't let go." She sniffles as she holds on to me tighter.

I felt ecstatic at her words, she really missed me huh? She has no idea how much her simple words affected me and how much I needed to hear them. Right now, I felt like I was on the highest peek of Mount Everest, and I was screaming hallelujah.

Yet, I also felt like I was in the lowest level of hell, because I know she didn't mean it the way I wanted her to. All I needed to do now was choose between the two.

Would I savour this moment and let the pain come later or would I just let go now, and protect myself? Would I be selfish or selfless?

After coming up with a final decision, I decide to stop trying to push her away and instead, I wrap my arms around her small, petite waist. I notice she got skinnier from the last time I hugged her. Why isn't she eating enough.

Her body was flush against mine and she buries her her face further in the crook of my neck. I felt a small smile grace her lips against me and I'm glad I stopped trying to push her away.

Yep, I was definetly in heaven right now. My heart has never beat so damn fast in my entire life. It was almost as though it wanted to leap out of my chest. I wonder if Jessica could hear how loud it was pounding.

The elevator door finally opens, announcing our long yet comfortable awaited arrival. Both of us quickly retreat from each other, aware we could get caught in a compramising position if someone else was behind the doors. Thankfully, no one was.

As we walk the long hallway to my door, we never make eye contact but even so, I felt like I could do anything in this moment. Like I was rejuvenated or something. Whatever it was, I wanted to feel like this for the rest of my life.

When we finally arrive at my door, I shakily take my key card out of my back pocket. Not wanting to seem so affected, I quickly regain my composure and I successfully stop my hands from shaking so much. Sica waits patiently beside me as I get the door to open.

The moment we enter, Jessica grabs my hand and drags me to the couch located in the very modern looking living room but not before she closes and locks the door.

She pushes me down and I flop down on a leather cushion. Pfft, she's only a few centimetres taller yet she's acting like Sooyoung, what's up with her?

After a beat, she occupies the cushion next to me and my gaze follows her every move, curious as to what exactly was happening. Finally, after a few seconds, she turns towards me and stares blankly into my eyes.

"W-what?"

I find myself feeling scrutinized under her frozen eyes yet I find no harm in them. She doesn't reply to me, she just stares at me. I felt like she could see right through me, like she was staring right into my soul. I was pretty scared she'd find something hidden there.

"What is it?" I ask again, feeling extremely weirded out.

"Taeyeon-ah." She finally speaks up.

"Yes?" I answer cautiously.

"What exactly do you find so disturbing about me?" She replies monoutously.

"Disturbing? What are you talking about Sica?"

"You heard me." she narrows her icy eyes at me.

"Why would I find anything disturbing about you?" I reply shakily and my eyebrows scrunch together in confusion.

"Okay let me rephrase then." 

I nod prudently. Why the hell would she think I found her disturbing in any way? It's quite the opposite Jessica... 

"Why do you hate me then?"

"Didn't I tell you before I don't hate you!" I burst out in frustration but I quickly turn away from her because well, she's the ice princess and I'm afraid my little outburst might've awoken HellSica.

"IF YOU DONT HATE ME THEN WHY THE HELL ARE YOU AVOIDING ME? WHY DO YOU ALWAYS RUN AWAY FROM YOUR PROBLEMS HUH? IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH ME THEN SPEAK OUT YOU PABO!" She screams at me and she harshly shoves my shoulders.

I gulp and I almost shrivel away at her loud and frightening tone. I freeze up as she looks at me like I'm some sort of prey for her to eat. Yeah, I definetly woke up HellSica. Unfortunately, I think the time has come for me. She's right, I always run away from my problems and I'm an idiot for that. I have to tell her... No matter how much it hurts afterwards I have to get rid of this burden on my shoulders. I have to confess...

Jessica's POV
 
"Y-You wouldn't understand Sica... It's not you, I-its me. It's just complicated.." Taeyeon says silently as she looks down at the floor, not meeting my eyes.

My right eyebrow twitches at the stubbornness of this woman. This woman that I love, this woman that doesn't love me back. I don't let that hold me back though. Who gives a if she doesn't love me back? It'd be better for the both of us if she'd just stop running away from whatever she's running away from.

"Listen up Taeyeon! I don't care how complicated it is! It can be a 9x9 Rubix cube and I wouldn't care! I'm your friend and I'll freaking help you out with anything so will you just please tell me already! I hate when you avoid me!" I bellow, frustrated at her for making me ride a roller coaster of emotions.

Seriously, this dumb midget can be way too dense sometimes. I'm basically screaming out my feelings towards her but she's not even looking at me in the eye! Why the hell did I fall in love with this kid?

"Well I hate avoiding you too!" Taeyeon unexpectedly bursts out as she whips her head to look at me with a fierce look in the eyes. This is why...

However, she doesn't look at me for too long. She quickly reverts her eyes again and judging from her body movement and side profile, she looks like she's about to burst into tears at any moment. Her lips are captured by her teeth and I can't help but want to release them, with my own lips. If you know what I mean.

I shake my head and try to remove all evidence of my ertedness. My Taengoo is about to cry and I'm thinking about kissing her... What a great friend I am.

I cup her adorable baby face and gently turn her head to make her face me. She had tears in her eyes but I knew she was trying her hardest to stifle them. That's just who she is, the composed leader, always trying her best to keep up her image.

I wrap my arms around her waist and bring her closer to me. She clenches my shirt and makes a fist with her hands and I can feel how much her body is shaking. I haven't been this close to her in so long and I try my best to savour this once in a blue moon moment with her because she rarely ever lets me get too close to her.

I hated how fragile she was right now. I don't know exactly what emotions she was feeling but I despised it. I wanted to beat down anything and everything that dares make my Taengoo cry. I'll be her protect her and I'll risk anything just to put a smile on her face.

I her silky brown locks, deciding to take advantage of the moment as well. Hey, if this is the last time I'll be able to hug her like this without any awkwardness between the both of us, I might as well make it worth it, right?

Taeyeon grabs ahold of my shoulders and starts to sob silently on my chest. I bet she was liking it down there, the byuntae that she is. She was probably taking advantage of the moment too.

"If you hate it, why are you doing it Taengoo?" I ask as I bury my face in her hair.

A sad laugh comes out of nowhere and I look around to see where it came from, only to discover it was the girl in my arms. Is she bipolar or something?

"If I tell you, you probably wouldn't talk to me ever again.." she murmurs, "But if I don't tell you, you wouldn't talk to me either. There's not way out is there?"

"Hmm.. Just chose which option you won't regret taking 10 years from now. Which one has a heavier burden than the other? Shouldn't you just lift it off of yourself already?" 

I was starting to get really curious as to what the hell was going on in that pretty little head of hers.

She let's go of me without saying a word and I let her but her warmth leaves with her and I shiver from the cold. Thankfully though, she keeps her hands on my shoulders and now she's staring straight at me. 

Taeyeon takes a deep breath and exhales. She does this for a couple more times and I just wait there patiently for what she has to say. Her grip on my shoulders tighten for some reason. Her breath hitches before she takes one last breath. I prepare myself for what she has to say.

"Jessica Jung, I'm in love with you. Will you be my girlfriend?"