Flashback: 

Nothing was there. 

No one could hear me. 

"It hurts so much! Why couldn't I have been the one to die?!" My insides boiled and I felt out of breath as I picked up the soju bottle I had been drinking and threw it at the wall, shattering the green glass. 

"She was so pure! So innocent and lovely, but I was chosen to live?!" I yelled at God knowing He'd at least hear me.

"Why did you choose me?! I AM NOTHING! I'm nothing! AH! Why is it so quiet?! Who's singing will I wake up to now?!" The pain in my chest was unbearable, I began to cry hysterically. 

"WHO WILL LEAVE CLOTHES AROUND THE HOUSE AND SHOES OUT OF PLACE?" My body started shaking as I started screaming at the walls. 

"WHO'S.. WHO'S GOING TO TAKE CARE OF ME WHEN I'M SICK, AND WHO.. AHH GOD! WHO WILL HAVE MY CHILD?!" I fell to my knees and gripped my shirt, 

"IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE MY WIFE! BUT TOU TOOK HER! YOU TOOK HER AND NOW I AM ALONE! AHHHHHH!" I pounded my fists on the ground in anger. 

"I'm alone..." 

End of flashback 

 

I unlocked my apartment and walked inside, turning on the lights. When my wife died, I didn't touch anything in the apartment. I was afraid to change things that she had put into place in fear is forget. But after Kyungsoo came, things changed. The couch was now pushed against the wall so Kyungsoo and I could be idiots and play games in the middle of the livig room. The small dining table had been turned so we could look out the window and see the city lights at night. The kitchen became disorganized because Kyungsoo kept cluttering the sink. Clothes were scattered everywhere from when he chased me around and threw them at me, yelling, "I TOLD YOU TO KNOCK BEFORE YOU WALK IN THE BATHROOM!" I shook my head and cleaned all his clothes up, packing them into his bag along with the other things he had acquired during his time with me. I was sad he was leaving me, but also relieved he would no longer be in poor health. I had taken a liking to Kyungsoo to be honest. I was surprised and extremely unsure when he had first asked me to be his fake boyfriend, but I'm glad I did it. I was never appalled by him loving his brother, but still I was a little uncomfortable at the idea. I thought maybe he'd grow out of it and he just had attachment problems- but that wasn't the case. He genuinely loved his brother. If it was anyone else, I would not be okay with the , but Kyungsoo was different. Kyungsoo taught me a lot of things just by being himself. He showed me how to laugh again and have fun, to smile without worry about what would happen the next day.. He showed me what love really was. Even if I promised myself back then that I'd never fall in love again, I realized that my wife would want me to be happy with someone new. I knew I'd never forget her and no one would ever replace her, but I could at least have someone that would make me feel like she did- loved and happy. That was how Kyungsoo made me feel. Practically from day one I became protective over him. He was almost like my son for a while, but then became my friend, and gradually he became my best friend. But I knew Kai, I knew he was possessive and would one day come back to get his brother so I shouldn't get too attached. Yet I did. I wasn't worried about Kyungsoo, Kai would take care of him, but I was going to be alone again and that was what scared me. But now, now that the time had come for Kyungsoo to leave me, I wasn't scared. I was ready to get on with my life already and meet someone who would make me feel loved like my wife did and happy like Kyungsoo did. 

 

Ring ring!

It's already 10:00 AM? 

Ring ring! 

I slept so late today.. 

Ring ring! 

"Hello?"

"Hey, Sehun?" 

"Oh Kyungsoo, hi." 

"Hey.. Umm, do you have a minute?"

"Yeah," I sat up on my bed, pulling the sheets up,

"Go ahead."

"I wanted to say thank you. I'd come and see you myself, but umm.. I can't walk very well.."

"You what? Did you collapse? What happened?"

"No no! Ah ha ha ha.. Haa.. Just something.. I'm fine! Don't worry. But anyways.. Thank you Sehun. You took care of me and dealt with me.. I know I can be a burden a lot but you put up with it even though it wasn't apart of the deal. I really owe you one." His voice sounded a little shaky over the phone and I wondered if he was nervous. 

"You don't owe me anything. If anything, I owe you. You taught me a lot of things and do for that.. let's call it even."

"Even? Okay.. Thank you Sehun. You were my best friend- well besides Chanyeol- but you were my best friend and I hope we can still keep in touch? I mean.. Just because we're not dating anymore doesn't mean we can't be friends anymore.. Right? I mean fake dating. But we weren't fake friends! Well I mean not on my part.. Wait is this making sense? Wait let me start over.. We were fake dating but not fake friends on my end and so I want to still be real friends.." Always getting flustered Kyungsoo.. I didn't answer for a moment. I was so worried he wouldn't ever talk to me again and I'd loose my friend and hearing him say that made me happy. 

"Ahh.. Hahahaha, just kidding! You probably don't want to hear from me anyways so-"

"No! No, let's keep in touch. Sorry I kinda had a slow moment there. Yes, let's keep in touch. I'd like that."

"Really? Okay! Oh no.. I gotta go.." He started whispering into the phone so I had to staighn to hear him. 

"Kai is waking up, I'll text you later. Bye!"

"Okay, bye Kyungsoo!" I heard murmmering from the phone,

"Who is that? Put the phone down. Stop talking the morning away. Hey! Come back! Don't ignore me! Hey! You little brat! Hey! Kyungsoo! Hey!" Forgetting to hang up the phone, classic Kyungsoo. When I ended the call, I didn't feel sad. I felt relieved. I was happy he still would talk to me and I wasn't losing someone again. 

I would fall in love again one day. It was all a matter of time and place, and when it was right, I'd meet that perfect Younok-Kyungsoo, love- happiness mixture. 

I'd find someone, someday.