Eunhae's POV

It's been a year... I tried my best to forget about him but I just can't. Every night his face will just appear in my mind everytime I close my eyes. His smiles, his anything. I'm sitting at the balcony holding my phone. I stared at my phone's wall paper. It's him. He's smiling face. This is the first picture I took of him, well of course, it's candid. I did it unexpectedly. I used it as my wallpaper ever since. I didn't realise that I was actually smiling, and as soon as I have realised, my heart hurts again.

I looked through my contacts list and saw his name. I pressed the dial button and put it at my ear. I listen to the phone ring. And suddenly I hear a click. My heart stopped. Then a husky voice said, "Hello, who's there?" My heart started to beat quicker and quicker. What is he doing at his time... Isn't it suppose to be midnight now? 

"Hello, who's there?" He asked again.

I don't know what to say. It's like something is stuck in my throat.

"Who are you? Why aren't you speaking?" He sounded impatient now, I decided to open my mouth.

"Jonghyun...?" I muttered.

"Eunhae? Are you Eunhae? Are you?" He asked.

When he said my name, I don't know why, but I have this urge to cry. I haven't been talking to him for a long time. Even when Jinki oppa asked me if I wanted to talk to Jonghyun whenever I call back, I'll always say no. I'm afraid that I can't hold back my tears when I hear his voice. Now, my eyes are filling with tears.

"Eunhae, is that you? Can you just say something? If that's you, please talk to me." He pleaded. I can't hold back my tears. 

"It's me..." I managed to say.

"Really? Eunhae! Are you ok? Why do you sound so tired? How are you this year? Anything happened?" He asked with concern. I can't hold it seriously. I can't help it anymore.

"I miss you..." I blurted out and I cut off the line. I held my legs close to my chest and sat there crying. I hate myself. I hate myself for not being able to love like others. I hate myself for not trusting him more. I hate myself... A lot... It is the late afternoon and I sat there on the chair, slowly going to sleep...

Jonghyun's POV

"I miss you..." I heard her say.

"I miss you too..." I said to the already dead line. She called me but why... Why did she sound like she is crying... And why did she say I miss you suddenly... Of course I miss her and I feel bad. I'm such a jerk to her the last few years... I'm a complete jerk, I'm not fit for her but she still loves me...? I stared at the clock. It says 2am. I have a schedule at 6... Why don't I get up and go to the Han River and cycle, I thought to myself. I quickly got up, washed up, changed, grabbed my phone and pushed the bicycle towards the lift. As soon as I got to the first floor, I started to cycle to the Han River... It's pretty quiet, just nice for me to think... I stopped and I sat at the steps, fiddling with my phone. I stared at the screen and smiled to myself. It's been a long time since I've seen her. The wallpaper was her face smiling which is kinda rare from an ice. I looked at the time and I didn't realise that 2 hours had passed so quickly. I stood up and cycled back to the dorm and got ready for my schedule with my members.

EunHae's POV

I’m still at the same spot
I’m weary from wandering by your side

Even though I'm not by your side, my heart is.

Even today, as I was wandering
Day has passed again and again.
Now I’m here

I'm here, still loving you...

You know. You know that my heart is hurting.

I bet you don't know...

Watching you laugh/smile makes my heart ache more

I still can't forget your smiles and laughters with her.

It’s my mistake for not making you love me more
It’s my mistake for loving you more than you love me
It’s my mistake for not making you love me as much as I wanted you to.

That's how I feel, it's all my mistake. All my mistake.. I don't know how to love...

How much longer must I cry
As I’m trusting that promise

I made a promise to myself to make you love me, and I'm still trusting it... But you never know how much I've cried when you're not around me.

You lied to me to wait for you
Even my greedy side(for his love) has grown weary

I'm tired. I want that feeling to go away, but to no avail...

You know. You know that my heart is hurting

I bet you don't know.

You can’t just ignore and laugh/smile like that.

You can't, but you did.

It’s my mistake for not making you love me more
It’s my mistake for loving you more than (you love/like me? This is my assumption)
It’s my mistake for not making you love me as much as I wanted you to.

I hate myself for this...

I knew I couldn’t have you

It's a fact, and it's fate.

But my heart(my love for you) just kept growing

Even now, I still love you.

It’s my mistake for
Waiting by myself
Regretting by myself
Loving you.

I should not have waited, I should not have loved you, but I did instead. 

Even though my heart was hurting
It’s my mistake for not letting you go

I should have let you go when I see her with you but I didn't.

I’m such a fool
I knew I would get hurt and couldn’t let go

I'm such a fool for loving you, a playboy.

it’s my mistake

It's always my mistake.

Even though it could be all my mistake
That’s ok. As long as you’re there…

As long as you are there, the distance where I can see you.

Always…

Be in front of me, be in somewhere I can see you.

Please forgive me for being like this.
(forgive the person) Who loved you

I know you're tired of me, but please forgive me, I don't need you to love me, please just forgive me. Forgive this fool who loved you even now...

SNSD's Mistake came to an end and I always find myself thinking about the same thing. I've been listening to this song everyday during my 1 year here. I always remind myself what a failure I am... It's really my mistake, I can't blame him at all since I love him and he don't love me...

1 year, it's just like hell. I've to go through another year to finally meet him again. Will he still love me?

Jonghyun's POV

It feels like I've been dreaming for a long time
I've wandered and wandered around for a while

I'm dreaming about you.

As if we made a promise
Standing here in front of each other like that day from four seasons ago

But the problem is, you're not in front of me.

Those beautiful stories that we wrote down together
Those eternal promises that we prayed for at that time
They're all coming back to me now and I don't think my heart can take it

I regret not being able to write down any stories with you. I regret not being able to promise you anything. I regret not having the courage to say 'Please, Don't Go' cos I'm afraid my heart can't take the rejection.

I've even restrained myself at the thought of you
How has your one year been

My one year is empty without you...

For a long time, I've been living, having forgotten of you
For a while, I thought I was doing fine
However I started to realize it as time passed by
That I am nothing without you

I started to realise as soon as I saw your face in my phone... I'm nothing.

At that time, if only we had been a bit more mature
If only we knew how we would be right now
I have no confidence in overcoming these endless regrets
So I've had to just repress them

If only I had been a bit more mature... I wouldn't be regretting this feeling right now.

One year has passed like that

Just like that...

Could your feelings perhaps be the same as mine?
Will you give me another chance?
I know now that we can never part from each other
The one person I love and love again

I know your feelings, but will you give me another chance to confess? If you agree, I'll never let you go, the person I'll always love.

I wish we can go back to our first days
To the beautiful, happy and loving days

I wish we can go back to the first day we met where we know nothing about each other and the day where I've fallen for you...

Those heart-breaking stories and vain arguments
Just bury all of that now
And promise that we won't take them out again

I can't promise I won't think about it but I'll always remember the pain I've brought to you.

No matter how many seasons pass and how many years go by
I hope that we won't meet like today again

I hope we'll meet soon, just once... Will be enough...

Onew hyung and Jessica sunbae's One Year Later came to an end and I always find myself thinking about the same thing. I've been listening to this song everyday during my 1 year here. I always remind myself what a failure I am... The pain I've brought to her... I'll never forgive myself...

1 year, it's just to tiring. Should I give up? Does she love me? What does 'I miss you' mean...? I don't know, I feel like giving up but I don't think I'm fit to say this...