“Awww you should have totally used the line joke,” Kai pouted once Baekhyun had informed him of who was on the phone, “That would have made him disappear faster than anything else.”

“Don’t say that too loudly,” Chanyeol chastised the younger, clipping him around the ear, “There could be really important reasons for him contact Suho right now so you best behave.”

Kai stared at the happy virus was disbelief before turning onto Baekhyun, “Yah! Stop making your boyfriend so grown up and reasonable! He’s supposed to be our troll for goodness sakes.”

“Oh please, someone go get Kyungsoo out of the kitchen and shut him up already,” Xiumin groaned as he flipped through the channels, “For once I actually agree with Chanyeol and say that you should actually shut up Kai. Don’t pass your pain off on us.”

“I’m not,” Kai started, even though secretly he knew he was actually quite mad that Baekhyun got to speak to Yifan, briefly before Suho shoved him off the phone, because the real maknae of the group never wanted to admit the fact that he missed Kris like crazy.

Xiumin groaned and threw the nearest pillow at Kai, “Shut up.”

Before any further arguments could be started, Suho walked into the living room, “Alright, who the hell didn’t use protection when they were last with Yifan?”

The four young men who had been arguing before turned in unison towards Suho and gawped at him, “What?” they all asked together.

Suho sighed and shook his head, “Team meeting. Now.”

Xiumin nodded and stood up, quickly heading to Luhan’s room to fetch him, Lay, Chen and then fetch Kyungsoo out of the kitchen whilst the other three held a quick game of rock paper scissors to decide who was going to attempt to go and fetch the Taohun couple out of their room. Baekhyun lost two to one and grumbled but quickly got up and mentally braved himself for whatever he was going to find the two maknea’s up to. Though if truth be told, they had actually been quite quiet today so maybe they weren’t doing the nasty. Not that he had any right to complain with himself and Chanyeol’s actions but there was a time and a place.

But since that place for Tao and Sehun was still in the very early love stuck stages, things were getting incredibly noisy around the dorms most of the time.

Politely knocking on the door, Baekhyun paused long enough to make sure that anything he didn’t want to ever see again except in his worst nightmares was sorted out, and then opened it. Instead of being faced with some horrendous ual ersion as it frequently got called by Kyungsoo – who also had no real right to talk given some of the stuff he got up to with Kai – Baekhyun merely found the pair slumbering cutely together on the bed, having been watching a marathon of Disney movies. Sometimes their childishness astounded the puppy that was Baekhyun but even he had to admit that this was just too cute.

Immediately the incriminating photos were snapped on his phone and he grinned just a little evilly. Selecting an application which he had downloaded, Baekhyun pressed the button which caused a loud whirring noise and Tao to suddenly leap up and latch his hand onto his neck, squeezing very tightly.

Sehun scream, literally like a girl, and in the next thirty seconds the cute scene delved into complete chaos of panic, wailing sirens and yells until Luhan and Lay came rushing into the scene and burst out laughing. Shaking his head, Lay quickly snatched the phone and turned the siren off, pressed two fingers to the back of Tao’s head which immediately caused the younger to releases his hold of Baekhyun and passed a random plush to Sehun in order to calm him down. “There, situation sorted,” he said with a happy smile, ignoring the giggling Luhan completely.

“What...” Baekhyun wheezed, coughing harshly, “the actual...hell?”

Lay looked at the other, “You don’t wake Tao up with any loud sounds, you dolt, otherwise he tries to attack you.”

“He nearly throttled me!” Baekhyun complained, pulling himself upright.

“Are you surprised?” Sehun asked, hugging the lion toy closer to himself, “You scared the devil out of me too with that.”

“Yeah I know, I heard,” Baekhyun grumbled, wriggling a finger in his ear, “It’s still echoing.”

Tao blinked innocently as he finally woke up, “Why am I on the floor?”

Lay just chuckled, “Because Baekhyun was an idiot and tried to wake you up with a loud noise.”

“Oh sorry,” Tao said sincerely, looking towards Baekhyun in apology, “I didn’t punch you on the nose did I?”

“No, just tried to choke me with your death grip,” Baekhyun deadpanned as he pulled himself up which sent Luhan off laughing once again.

Sehun sighed and shook his head, “Why were you trying to wake us up anyway? It’s our first day off in weeks, shouldn’t you be...”

“Team meeting!” Suho yelled impatiently from the living room, “NOW!”

Sharing a look, everyone quickly scrambled to get to the living room before Suho went and had a hernia or something. By the looks of things the call between he and Yifan had ended but those in the know figured that it must be something that he would have to call the other back about.

Once everyone was settled, Suho took a deep breath and tried to centre himself, knowing that this was going to be possibly one of the worst team talks that he was ever going to have with his group and boy way the topic an unpleasant one. “I’ve just heard from Yifan...” he started.

Immediately there was a ripple through the M members, excluding Xiumin who had been there already, and all ears were firmly pinned on Suho’s next words.

“He’s pregnant,” it was easier to just let the cat out of the bag, “by one of us.”

There was a chorus of shocked sounds, “No way,” stated Luhan despite looking incredibly pale at the moment, “He can’t be. He’s not been with us for-”

“He’s eight months pregnant, give or take a week,” Suho said, “He’s not joking either. He’s got the scans and everything.”

Chanyeol frowned, “For real?”

“Yes,” Suho said with a sigh, “He’s sending them across now...” almost on cue there was a bleep from his phone and the leader of EXO flicked on the pictures. There were the scans, clearly showing the fact that there was a baby inside Yifan’s stomach which was confirmed because there was also a picture of him actually going through the scan which had been taken by his mother presumably. The photos were dated only two days ago as well.

Tao dropped his head, “But...how? He always insisted on using protection.”

“I know,” Suho said, “but either someone didn’t or something happened because he is pregnant and it can only be one of us.”

“How can he be so sure?” Kai asked, looking close to tears.

Luhan sighed, “He was only with us, he may have flirted with virtually all of the others but it never went further than that.”

Chen gave him a long look, “And you know this because?”

“Onew hyung told me,” Luhan shrugged, “Same for Siwon.”

Lay sighed, “Oh this is going to complicate things.”

“No it’s not,” Baekhyun said, sounding more annoyed than he actually was, “What’s his deal with telling us about it now? It’s totally not fair.”

“He didn’t know until a few weeks ago,” Suho said, stopping that argument short, “and he didn’t think anything of it until his own mother asked about it too.”

Chanyeol looked up to the ceiling, “So one of us is a father to a guy whose left...the company are not going to like this.”

“The company will not find out about this,” Kyungsoo said, shaking his head, “They would skin us all alive and we damn well know it. If we can, I say that we stay out of it.”

Sehun shook his head, “We can’t do that though. Gege wouldn’t be so harsh to contact us about this unless he was really concerned and I doubt he needs the money.”

“Yeah, since that film did so well...” Kai stopped himself and sighed, “Did anyone actually bother to go and see it?”

There was a collective silence around the room, followed by some shifty looking glances from Sehun and Tao which had Kai reeling, “No way! When did you go?”

“Erm, the other week?” Tao said, trying to keep his eyes down because he really didn’t want to get yelled at by the others.

Kai looked hurt, “And you didn’t take me?”

He realised his words far too late and bit his lip but Chen just patted his leg, “Don’t worry kid, it’s not really that great a film.”

“And when did you see it?” Suho asked, glaring at the other who immediately looked sheepish.

“When Baekhyun and Chanyeol went to see it?” he said gently

Luhan sighed, “Me, Lay and Xiumin went to see it too.”

Kyungsoo raised his hand, “I have tickets booked for tonight...I was going to take Kai as a surprise but there’s one going spare.”

Staring at the others in complete shock, Suho sighed, “Damn, and I thought I was the only one who bothered to sneak in on opening night too.”

Lay smiled a little, “Okay. So we’ve all gone to see Yifan’s film or are going to see it,” he corrected as he felt Kai’s glare land on him, “Which means basically we all still care about him. But back to the topic at hand, what do we do about the possibility of one of us being the father of his child?”

Silence descended over the group for a long while.

Finally Tao broke it, “I want to see him again.”

Suho sighed, “Fine. What we’ll do is we’ll arrange a meeting with him, somewhere quiet and safe and that we all know. Then we’ll talk.”

“We’ll have to do a paternity test, won’t we?” Sehun asked, gripping tightly onto Tao’s hand.

Xiumin nodded, “Only way to be totally sure. We’ve got promotions coming up in China soon right?”

Luhan nodded in response, “Yeah. That would make things easier.”

“Okay, so it’s sorted then,” Suho said, standing up and picking up his phone, “So whose cooking tonight since Kaisoo are going out?”

“Not you or me, hyung,” Luhan said immediately, “We both set fire to the kitchen on separate occasions.”

“And blamed it on Kris is I remember rightly,” Chen giggled brightly before getting thwacked by at least three random cushions.

Slipping away from the ensuring madness, Suho checked the pictures one last time just to confirm that this was completely and totally real before sighing and shaking his head. “Oh Yifan, at the very least I get to become an uncle.” 

Authors blabbering

Well finally rid of that sodding cold which has virtualyl narked me all week and so to an update of this crazy thing. 

don't as me why Baek chose to do that, he's really in punch in the face mode (or strangle as Tao did lol) and I couldn't resist the urge to have them all go to see Yifan's movie (though obviously not the one that's out next year) as it was just too freaking cute ^^ 

anyways, hope you enjoyed and anyone got any guesses as of yet?