Snoppies was one of those cafe’s that anyone who didn’t want to be spotted would go to because no sane person would go to the children’s themed cafe and it was just one of those strange quirks that fell perfectly onto EXO’s lap. That and the fact that they were all still pretty big man-children had an absolute soft spot for all things childish.

 

Plus they were going to talk about Yifan’s baby so it figured that being somewhere cute and fluffy to begin with wouldn’t look too out of place and that was before anyone factored in the opinion of the three maknea’s who were the biggest children on the entire planet. They were still slightly careful though, going in as a large group of eleven was sure to get them noticed in some form or other and that was the last thing any of them needed.

 

Well at least that’s what Yifan figured that they would do, once he had been finally able to chase his mother off to go and do some baby shopping for him because whilst he loved her very much he did not need her holding onto his hand like he was some innocent child or something.

 

Lightly he stirred his tea, coffee was a no go at the moment, and let out a nervous sigh as he glanced towards the door just waiting for someone to turn up. But he was merely disappointed in just seeing a bunch of school girls wandering in so instead he turned to his phone which had bleeped and rolled his eyes skywards. His mother was asking if he wanted the yellow or green baby grows she had just found because she couldn’t decide.

 

Chuckling he quickly text her back saying that white would probably be better but if she had to go with a colour then he would prefer the yellow over the green but before he could send the message back there came a none too polite kick from inside his stomach and he grumbled lightly before looking down at his bump, “Huh, you want the green? Okay baby, though if you look like a little snot monster then it’s not my fault.”

 

Another kick was delivered to his ribs but he ignored it as he changed the last part of his text and then pressed send.

 

“Where you seriously just talking to the bump?” a voice asked from above and Yifan raised his head in surprise to see Chanyeol looking down at him with a slightly amused expression.

 

“He used to talk to his stuffed alpaca all of the time,” chimed in Sehun, “So why would this be any different?”

 

“Excluding the fact that there is actually a baby in there,” Luhan said, leaning down to look at the bump with an expression of awe, “it’s most certainly not a pillow.” Promptly he poked at the mass that was Yifan’s stomach which immediately caused a kick from the baby inside him and Yifan to lightly smack at the others fingers.

 

“Stop that,” Yifan scolded lightly, “Baby doesn’t like to be poked.”

 

Chanyeol raised an eyebrow, “And how would you know that exactly?”

 

“Because it’s currently kicking me in the ribs,” Yifan said before glaring down at the bump, “All right, I’ve told them, they won’t poke you anymore sweetie. Just calm down.”

 

“Damnit,” Sehun said as he half slumped down onto his chair.

 

Yifan looked at him in surprise, “What?”

“Why do you have to be so cute with it?” Sehun pouted, “I’m supposed to be mad at you for everything and now I can’t be. You’re so unfair.”

 

Yifan turned and looked to the other two in shock, “Okay, who got to poker face?”

 

“Unbelievably Tao,” a new voice joined the conversation as Kai, Chen and Baekhyun turned up looking just as nervous as the others had done not a few seconds ago.

 

Yifan blinked and smirked, “Wondered when that was going to happen.”

 

Sehun glared again, though more playfully this time, “What do you mean by that?”

 

“Tao had the hots for you ages ago,” Yifan said with a chuckle as he slightly shifted his position because he was getting just a little uncomfortable, “The whole thing with us two getting ‘together’ was to try and make you jealous.”

 

“You weren’t ever supposed to tell him that!” Tao said popping up behind Yifan like some form of ninja panda, “you promised Gege!”

 

Yifan leaned back a little into the others embrace with a smile, “Come on, I think he may have just worked it out by himself.”

 

“What do you mean by that?” Suho’s cool and calm voice joined the rest at the table, along with Lay, Xiumin and Kyungsoo which completed the group and also brought a couple of trays that had coffees, teas and some bubble tea on it.

 

Yifan lightly rolled his eyes, “Tao’s about the only one who I can completely discount out of the potential father group out of you lot.”

 

Sehun blinked, “Wait...why?”

 

Tao rolled his eyes slightly, “He never let me sleep with him, Hunnie. So stop it with the jealousy thing.”

 

Lay looked at him with wide eyes, “Seriously?”

 

Yifan nodded, “Yup. We did...some things....but never went the full way.”

 

Kyungsoo glared suspiciously up at Tao, “So where did you learn who to keep this one yelling like that all of the frigging time then?”

 

Opening his mouth to ask a question, Yifan thought it best not to ask as he really didn’t need any mental images running through his head when he was pregnant.

 

However Luhan was perfectly happy to grin towards the other, “Yeah. They’re together and boy are they loud.”

 

“Very loud,” Baekhyun chimed in with a devious grin.

 

“They make us look like we’re not even trying,” Chanyeol said with a racy grin.

 

“And don’t even get started on the Kaisoo couple,” Xiumin chipped in, “They’re worse.”

 

Suho sighed, “What is it with you guys and talking about ?”

 

Yifan half choked on his tea and looked towards the other, “After our infamous sessions? I do hope we put them all to shame Suho.”

 

There was a group chorus of ‘Ewww!” at that statement which was quickly followed by mouths being covered and giggles trying to be suppressed. Once they were absolutely sure that no one had paid them the least bit of attention, or maybe just a few odd passing glances everyone breathed a sigh of relief before turning back to the serious situation at hand.

 

Well maybe not.

 

Letting out a slight grunt, Yifan shifted again and looked down at the belly, “Baby you are really angsty today, what’s up huh?” gently he ran calming circles onto the surface, hoping that it would reach and settle the child down inside him.

 

Tao’s eyes lit up, “Can I touch?”

 

“Sure,” Yifan said with a light shrug of his shoulders, “You may be able to get baby to calm down.”

 

With a gleeful squeak, Tao hopped down and placed his hand on the others belly and after a few seconds, pouted, “It’s not doing anything.”

 

“Give baby a moment or so,” Yifan smiled, “it’s just trying to work out who you are.”

 

Kyungsoo tilted his head, “So you don’t know what gender it is yet?”

 

“Nope,” Yifan shook his head, “me and Mum decided to just get a surprise since this was a surprise and a half.”

 

“How couldn’t you have known before hand?” Luhan asked, swirling his straw around the bubble tea, “I mean you only found out a few weeks ago right?”

 

Yifan rolled his eyes, “I’m a guy, Luhan, we don’t exactly show many signs of getting pregnant like girls do.”

 

“Not even the weight gain gave you a clue?” asked Chen, looking at the bump with some slight envy.

 

“This has literally happened since I found out,” Yifan said, smiling when Tao’s face lit up with glee as he felt the slightly lighter kick to his lower stomach, “There you go, now give one of the others a turn Tao before you hog all of the attention.”

 

Kyungsoo and Luhan were immediately there and Yifan giggled slightly because it was quite a erish feeling having so many hands on him at once.

 

Suho however brought them back, “So now we’ve got the problem of who is the daddy?”

 

Yifan nodded and sighed, “I’m sorry to bring this on your guys but I just want to know. For the child’s sake at the very least.”

 

“Why?” asked Lay, though he had a feeling he already knew the answer.

 

“It kind of not having a dad,” Yifan said tightly, “I mean my mother is the best person in the world and I wouldn’t change her for anything but...sometimes it got really hard. I just want my baby to know is all. Even if you guys don’t want anything to do with it.”

 

Suho glared, “Oh no you do not Yifan. We are being involved with this child whether you like it or not.”

 

Yifan blinked and stared at the other with shock, “Why?”

 

“He wants to be an uncle,” Chen said, giving Luhan a shove so that he could get some access to the bump as well, “Plus how cool will it be for us to have a baby to fuss over? It’ll be a totally spoilt little prince or princess.”

 

“I’m not leaving any of you alone with my child unsupervised for any length of time,” Yifan deadpanned though he was trying desperately not to burst into tears or laughter.

 

“Awww why?” Kai moaned, having actually leaned up against the others belly to listen for the child’s heart beat or something.

 

Yifan rolled his eyes, “After the chaos that happened when I left you guys in charge of Ace do you really think that I’m going to trust you with my baby?”

 

“Are you still going on about that stupid plushi?” Baekhyun complained, glaring playfully at his friend.

 

“Yes,” Yifan said with a goofy smile, “You lot traumatised him and he still has nightmares about it too.”

 

There was silence around the table before laughter broke out between them all. It was amazing to think that a few days ago they would have probably murdered Yifan on sight for all the pain and trauma that he had put them through with his sudden departure but here they all were, carrying on like nothing had happened and none of them were a step closer to finding out who had gotten Yifan pregnant.

 

Lay stared at the bump thoughtfully, “When are you due Yifan?”

 

“The end of next month approximately,” Yifan said, finally glad to be able to breathe now that the guys had stopped playing with his stomach.

 

“We’ve got promotions in China then, yes?” Lay asked towards Suho who nodded.

 

“Yeah, it’ll be the perfect opportunity to do the paternity tests and get everything sorted,” Suho said with a sigh, “Though how we’re going to get away I don’t quite know.”

 

“You best figure something out,” Mrs. Wu came into the conversation, wrapping her arms lovingly around Yifan’s shoulders as she placed a kiss on the side of his head after placing down her shopping bags, “Because otherwise I will come and personally drag you all there without answering any questions.”

 

The group nodded immediately, knowing not to defy Mrs. Wu in regards to any circumstance but especially not when it came to her beloved son.

 

For a long while they talked and jibed back and forth amongst one another, ordered more drinks and food and spent a very pleasant time together. Finally though it was time to go and slowly everyone gathered their things together.

 

“So I guess I’ll see you guys in China then,” Yifan said with a soft smile, not quite able to hide the hurt in his eyes.

 

“Yeah,” Kai said, lightly punching the other on the arm, “You will.”

 

“Just eat healthy and don’t do anything to hurt the baby okay?” Kyungsoo said, smiling lightly.

 

“Yeah and no more watching late night movies or anything like that,” Tao said prodding him in the chest.

 

“If anything happens before, call us and we’ll get there as fast as we can,” said Chen with an ever cheeky grin.

 

“I’ve heard soya milk is supposed to be really good for babies, make sure you drink lots okay?” Luhan said with a ruffle to his hair

 

“Ignore his advice, he is strange but remember what we said about the furniture and toys and stuff, send across that list Yifan and we’ll see what we can get,” Chanyeol smirked happily.

 

“I bagsie the first hold of the baby when it’s born,” Baekhyun grinned, “After you and Mrs. Wu of course.”

 

“I’ll get my mum to send across those recipes for you, I’m sure they’ll help out with keeping you healthy,” Xiumin said with a slight arm hug around his middle.

 

“I’ll try to stop Tao from buying a load of Gucci stuff for you but you know what he’s like...Gege,” Sehun said with a slight flush to his cheeks.

 

“Just don’t do anything stupid, Yifan” Suho smiled towards him, “and if you need to talk, give me a ring okay?”

 

Lay looked incredibly nervous but smiled all the same, “I don’t care who the father is Yifan, just as long as we can be involved in the child’s life, I’ll be happy.” He took an extra moment to squeeze the others hand and placed a soft kiss on his cheek before blushing red like a tomato and rushing to catch up with the others.

 

Mrs. Wu smiled softly at her son and sighed as she took hold of his hand, “I can see why you loved them all so much. Oh Yifan, baby, why are you crying?”

 

Yifan was in floods of tears, though for what reason he couldn’t honestly say at this moment in time. 

 

~~~

Authors babble:

will update later