Things continued to progress between Sehun and I. He brought me out of my small world that I’d been content in. I became open with the rest of EXO soon, I found myself looking forward to the internship more and more. I began to learn more about being a coordinator and what it took to stay near Sehun. I’m not really sure why or when, but eventually I passed the point of no return with Sehun. I found myself completely attached to him and I saw no way to reverse what had taken months of bonding with him had done to me. I’d changed over the course of a few months. I just wasn’t willing to acknowledge it just yet. I became restless in my small world though, I began to crave to explore, to get out and expand. Sehun had given me courage, the drive, the need to do more than just to be simply complacent with where I was.

“Miyoung,” My now advisor and professor, says calling me over. “I’d like to discuss something with you in my office today, could you stop by after you finish at your job?” She asks.

I nod my head, though a bit reluctant, that means I can’t stay after with Sehun. “I’ll come straight here; I should be done around nine, is that alright?” I ask worriedly, hoping silently that it’ll be too late.

“I’ll be here; I’ll tell the security guard that I’m expecting you.” Professor Shane says simply as she nods for me to go. “I don’t want to keep you. I’ll see you around nine.”

I nod my head, waving to her as I exit the classroom. I consider what exactly she’d want to discuss, to my knowledge my grades haven’t dropped at all, I’m still improving, and I haven’t caused any trouble in my classes. I’ve gotten into a nice balance with work, school, and Sehun. I’m actually in a good place.

“Miyoung, you’re just in time to settle this.” Chanyeol says stopping me from walking passed EXO’s practice room. “Who looks better, Kai or Sehun?” He demands showcasing both boys dressed for their Overdose stage, they are in fact not wearing their tacky 80’s outfits. They’re wearing suits, the ones we’ve been waiting for. I blink stunned by how good everyone looks in them, I glance around the room seeing them walking and rather excitedly showing Minah, Solbi, and Bomi.

“Yah, Miyoung.” Sehun says possessively as I glance around the room taking in just how good the eleven boys look in suits. “It’s between the two of us.” He says while nodding over to Kai.

I glance back over to Sehun and Kai; I take in both and smile slightly. “Sehun,” I answer simply as I walk over to Minah. “Unnie,” I say while ignoring the three boys chattering behind me, following me along.

“Miyoung, good you’re here. We need to finish fittings; can you watch this section while we cover the overs?” Minah says excitedly.

I nod my head used to the hectic and strange happenings in the practice room by now. “Can I talk to you before start?” I ask her discreetly. Though apparently not discreetly enough as I feel a very intense gaze on me, glancing in the mirror I see that Sehun is watching me with a very visible frown.

“Of course,” She says to me before turning to everyone else. “We start when we get back.” Minah leads me out of the room as Bomi and Solbi try getting the boys all in formation before we get back. “What’s up?” Minah asks me curiously.

I glance towards the door slightly worried. “I need to head back to class to talk to my Professor around nine,” I explain hesitantly. I decide that it wouldn’t hurt, so I ask if my professor had called here first about me. “Unnie, I was wondering if my school called to talk to you about anything.” I say expressing my one concern about the meeting I have with my Professor.

Minah’s face falters for a moment before she sighs. “I did talk to your professor last week; she was calling to see how you’re holding up. It’s been a while since you were transferred. I told her you were doing well, that you seemed to enjoy the work and what it calls for. She didn’t really ask anything else, just some questions about how you assimilated into the change and pace of everything.” I nod my head slightly worried still. “Miyoung, is something bothering you?”

I shake my head deciding that I’m worrying about nothing. “No, I was just surprised when she asked me so suddenly is all.” I say smiling as I say so. “We should get back in there.” I say motioning back to the room. Minah and I walk back in, my mind now switching gears back to the job rather than worrying about a meeting.

By the time we’re wrapping up, Sehun has changed back into his regular clothes. “You’re getting ready to leave early today.” He says watching me pull on my coat.

I nod my head. “I have a meeting with my professor.” I explain quietly.

Sehun nods his head and watches me as I pull my bag onto my shoulder. “It worries you.”

I nod my head as I attempt to calm myself down. “I’m not really sure why she wants to talk to me. I’ll text you afterwards.” I say as I head out ahead of him. Sehun and I still haven’t managed to tell the others; rather I’ve been resisting the idea. I’m not really sure why, but perhaps it is time. It’s not like the guys hate me. We spend a lot of time together not just as intern-coordinator and idol, but as friends. Suho and Lay have asked if we plan on telling the others, to which I say soon. Why can’t soon be tomorrow or even tonight? I’m not going to lose anything by finally admitting my feelings for Sehun, well hopefully I won’t.

~~~

I knock on Professor Shane’s door hesitantly. “Come in,” She calls after a moment. As I walk in she smiles at me. “Miyoung, have a seat.” She says looking up from the papers on her desk.

“Thank you,” I mumble nervously as I sit down. I wait patiently as she finishes grading the paper on the top of the stack. When she looks up at me she smiles. “I’m assuming this isn’t about something I’ve done.”

“More over what you could do.” She says while leaning back in her chair. “Miyoung I have an offer for you. One that gives you the opportunity to study full time, at least for a little while, I recommended you for a program.”

I nod my head not quite getting where she is going. “I’m not enrolled as a full time student.” I say frowning slightly.

“I know, but you do have a rather intimate knowledge to Western Literature. Miyoung, I recommended you for the Dean Program, the program we have with a university in New York. You’re looking at moving into writing, correct?” She asks me while smiling rather calmly.

I nod my head, very aware of the Dean Program. “I didn’t know that a part time student could even apply for the program.” I say, honestly speaking I’m rather shocked.

“Your papers make for some convincing evidence, on top of that some glowing references from your mentor at your internship and her colleagues made your case. Miyoung as I’m sure you’re aware, the program is two semesters, your scholarship with SMe will cover the expenses, you’ll get the chance to learn from another prestigious school, with their own set of teachers.” Professor Shane explains rather excitedly. “I think you’d do really well in the exchange program. Miyoung, I think you have a real shot at expanding your horizons if you take the opportunity.”

“Honestly I’m just really shocked right now.” I say as I look down at my lap. “It isn’t that I don’t want to, I just. I want to discuss this with someone.” I say realizing that this could affect a few things other than just my education.

Professor Shane nods her head and smiles at me. “Miyoung I don’t need an answer right now, although I expected you to jump at this.” She sighs and chuckles. “It’s a boy isn’t it?”

I bite my lip as I glance away. “Partly,” I answer honestly. “I’m not very adept at adjusting is another concern for me.”

“Minah-sshi, told me that you had assimilated into the coordinator’s department with very little trouble.” My professor says gently. “Miyoung, I’ll need an answer by this coming Friday. I want to stress to you what a tremendous opportunity this could be for you.”

I nod my head standing up I bow to my professor. “I understand, thank you so much for this. I’ll have an answer for you soon.”

“Have a good night Miyoung.” I return the sentiment before leaving.

I text Sehun asking if he could meet me at my apartment, which is quickly answered with he’s on his way. The entire way to my apartment I think about how I’d always wanted to participate in the exchange program, that I’d planned on it when I started going full time to make myself look as good as possible for the chance.

As I arrive and open my door I see that Sehun had indeed beaten me here. His shoes are here and I hear him humming from what sounds like the kitchen.

“Hey,” I say slightly worriedly as I watch him turn around, a cup of what I’m assuming is tea.

Sehun hands me the mug and gestures for me to take a seat somewhere. I decide at the kitchen table, he sits across from me with his own mug of tea. “I’m going to go on a hunch and say this is about the meeting with your professor.”

I nod my head as I purse my lips. “Sehun, she recommended me for a program.” I say excited by the idea of it, though I have a feeling of dread mixed in with it. “It’s the Dean Exchange Program.”

“Exchange as in abroad?” Sehun questions quietly.

I nod my head as I let out a sigh. “It’s an exchange program with the University of Columbia; it’d be for two semesters. It’s for the writing program there, Sehun I’d have the chance to focus on what I actually want to do, I wouldn’t just be learning about authors and their styles, I’d be developing my own style.”

“Why are you telling me this? It sounds like you really want to do it.” Sehun says frowning; I can tell from his tone he isn’t exactly enthused about any of this. “Miyoung, is this what you really want to do? Is this your dream?”

“Sehun it is, it’s been my goal and it’s the only reason I decided to apply for the internship at SM, they offered a scholarship that would allow me to go to Yonsei and then hopefully get the chance to participate in this program.”

“Again, why are you telling me all this?” Sehun presses in an upset tone. “If this is what you want, do it.”

“It’ll just be two semesters.” I say frowning at Sehun.

Sehun lets out an annoyed sigh and rolls his eyes. “Miyoung, two semesters means one year.”

“One year and I’ll be back here in Seoul.” I say becoming upset as well. “I wanted to talk to you about this because it is a huge deal; it is a huge chance for me.”

“And for us?” Sehun asks, well more like attacks me. “What does it mean for us?”

I let out a huffed sigh. “I’m ready to finally tell whoever you want to tell. That isn’t even about this program. But if you’re going to be like this I guess it doesn’t really matter. You’d rather me stay here and be around like always, you want me to pass on this opportunity that I probably won’t get ever again if I decide to pass on it.”

Sehun stands up and heads out of the kitchen. “Miyoung, go if you want. You’re ready because you won’t be around, you won’t have to see how people react to the fact that we were dating.”

“Were?” I ask turning to look at him angrily. “Were, because I’m taking a step towards my dream, towards what I want to do?” I ask him standing.

“Were because I’m not willing to hold you back from your dream; go ahead and go to that fancy school in America.” Sehun says simply leaving my apartment rather quickly.