It was just one of those things, I didn’t like to take the long way home, I didn’t like to take the short way home, I liked to do things at my own pace and not worry about anything else that anyone thinks of me. I’ve always been like this. I’ve always done things my way; I could never adjust my pace to something else. Things never became urgent until I decided they were. I don’t like doing a crazy last minute all-nighter to finish a project or paper. I’m picky in almost everything I do, if it’s tedious I can guarantee I won’t do it, not without a fight if I can’t avoid it.

So being here now knocking on the practice door, knowing that I could be kicked out, is taking all my resolve, and even with that, I’m still terrified. Taking a deep breath I wait until the door opens, I’m faced by a very tall boy, not Sehun, but Kai. Sehun as I am well aware of is slimmer and taller, more angular, paler. Sehun not only that always stood very close to me, even when he’d been angry with me.

“Is Sehun here?” I ask, my voice holding, though I’m shaking and I’m absolutely positive that Kai can see that. Kai’s looking down at me with a mix of surprise and irritation. I’m sure the latter is shared by the others as well.

Kai doesn’t say anything until he leans against the frame of the door looking at me with a mix of hurt and anger, both I’m sure for what I’d done to Sehun how I’d reacted and for showing up here now after everything. “Why?” He asks slowly in a low and annoyed tone.

“There are some things I’d like to tell him.” I say quietly, though I’m sure everyone who is in the room can hear me; that they know who I am. “Things I couldn’t say before.”

Kai after a moment gestures for me to enter the room. Walking in I glance around spotting the familiar boy sitting and watching me very carefully, a stoic expression on his face, as I stop a few feet from the door, Kai passing me to take a seat next to his friend I feel how unwelcomed I am. Sehun doesn’t spare me a friendly or encouraging smile; then again I am long passed deserving such things. “Like what?” Sehun asks his voice strong and firm.

I can feel Baekhyun, Kyungsoo, Chanyeol and Suho all watching me very carefully as if waiting to demand I leave. I take a deep breath; I knew that by coming here I might have to say all this in front of not just Sehun, but the others as well. I glance to the others all of the watching me like I’d thought, looking down at my feet I gather my courage again and look Sehun in the eyes. “The words that didn’t come before, the words I wouldn’t say because I was scared.”

Sehun’s eyes narrow and I know I’ve made him angry, well angrier than he was before I started speaking. “And you expect me to listen to all that you have to say? Miyoung, you have to be crazy to think that I’m going to.” Sehun says. The words hurt because he doesn’t sound angry, only his eyes are showing how furious he is.

I shake my head knowing that this was also a possibility of this visit. “Sehun,” I say slowly and I see the anger in his eyes intensify, I’m saying his name just like I’ve always said it. Slow and deliberately, carefully to be sure he knows that I’m speaking to him. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry that I couldn’t say anything before. I’m stubborn, willful; I do things at my pace or not at all. I know you hated that. I’m sorry I was afraid, that even though you could be brave, I couldn’t.” I say quickly bowing to him. I let out a deep breath again as I look at Sehun. “I’m not expecting you to listen or to even care, I’m asking if you’d listen to me and if you won’t then that’s fine.”

Sehun purses his lips as he gets up and strides across the room to me, standing close to me he looks down at me the same way that had always terrified me. “Give me one reason why I should listen.” He says, the anger starting to seep into his tone.

I look at him and wonder what I should tell him, one thought comes to mind, the truth. “Because I’m brave enough now, I’m brave enough to tell you all the words I couldn’t say before.” I say loud enough for everyone to hear. “Because you deserve an answer, a proper and truthful answer for all the time you spent following me around.” I’m not sure if this will convince Sehun to listen to what I have to say, I’m not sure that Sehun should even listen myself, all I know is that I left too many things unsaid in our relationship, there are so many things that I wish I could have expressed to him, and given the chance, I swear I’ll get it all across to him.

The first chapter! I know it's kinda short, but I promise
the length will get longer in following chapters!
I have a lot I want to write for this so I hope you all enjoy. (: