Warning: Mentions of and ual violence.

How does one fall out of love?
Can someone just wake up one day and decide that they can live without a person who seemed indispensable?
Or is it a gradual process where eyes that seemed like they held the sun and stars slowly became empty orbs?
Just how did falling out of love work?

Seo Sunjung didn't know.

What she did know was that Han wouldn't be in love with her anymore. She'd speak to him and he'd realise he couldn't be in love with someone like her. And she'd understand.
Leaving her was the best thing he could do and that would be okay.

Then why do I feel numb?

The woman clenched her fists, a shaky breath leaving her lips. She couldn’t feel the cold of the stairs she was sitting on.

“You can wait inside,” the sound of her friend’s voice made Sunjung turn around.

Gaeun stood at her apartment door, looking down at her friend; her friend who never looked like she belonged on a staircase in a cheap apartment building. She looked so fragile and easy to break that it felt a lump in Gaeun’s throat.

“Its fine,” Sunjung said, her lips twisting up in what was supposed to be a smile. “I have given you enough trouble already.”

Gaeun threw her head back with a roll of her eyes, “I told you it wasn’t a problem.”

“I know,” Sunjung responded, “but I want to meet him alone. Do you want—?”
The sound of footsteps stop mid-sentence, her eyes flickering as she let out a deep breath.

“Okay,” she heard Gaeun say but she couldn’t bring herself to respond.
She even heard the sound of a door closing but she could only blink.

She must have been a pitiful sight because his jaw dropped at the sight of her.
Sunjung couldn’t muster up the energy to stand. Gaeun had been right, sitting on the stairs was a bad idea. She knew she looked pathetic.
Could he tell she hadn’t slept very well since the last time they’d been together?

“Sunjung…”

Had his voice always sounded like that? Warm and full of promises she wasn’t sure he could keep.

After what felt like hours, Sunjung managed a smile.
“Lu Han,” his name felt heavy on her tongue, “can you take me to Han River?”

Lu Han only blinked, pursing his lips to suppress all the questions that were bubbling up.
He watched as Sunjung slowly stood up, her eyes vacant.
That was when he realised she looked paler than she had ever been. Her eyes looked sunken and lacklustre. Her clothes looked too big on her.
He had a sudden urge to hold her but stopped himself because she looked like the tiniest touch would just break her.

“Let’s go,” only two words left his mouth when actually he wanted to say hundreds.
Out of habit, he held out his hand for Sunjung to take but paused halfway, shoving his hand down his pocket.
Sunjung didn’t seem to notice. She stood up slowly and looked at him.
Her smile made him ache.

How easy it would be to pretend the last…how many days had it been? They didn’t even know. However, it would have been easy if they could pretend that those days hadn’t happened. It would be so simple to just pretend they had not been apart. It would be so easy if they could pretend to not be bothered by what Sunjung had kept to herself all this time.
They could pretend that Lu Han was just picking Sunjung up from her friend’s place after an evening out.
That would be easy. That would be nice.

And how nice it would be if one could take the easier way out all the time.

They couldn’t take the easy way out, Sunjung had to remind herself again and again when she felt her resolve weakening as she took her place beside him in his car.
She couldn’t live with that burden anymore. She couldn’t deprive Lu Han of the choice.

When Lu Han stopped the car near a basketball court somewhere near Han River, Sunjung stepped out immediately.
“You know this place?” she asked as she walked towards a bench at the edge of the court. Lu Han followed.

“I came here to play when I was in college.”
Sunjung let out a small hum and sat down on the bench.
Lu Han swallowed the lump in his throat, “Were you in Seoul this whole time?”

“I was with Gaeun.”

“So everyone back in Incheon is fine?”
Again, Sunjung only let out a hum in response.
“Then why did you leave in a hurry that night?”

“I ran into someone on my way to the bathroom,” Sunjung simply stated. Lu Han opened his mouth to say something but Sunjung continued, “I didn’t know him. He was more than a little tipsy and he tried to hit on me. He grabbed me and I couldn’t fight back because…”

“He didn’t…”

“No!” Sunjung denied with a shake of her head. “A nice man interrupted but…”

Lu Han breathed out loudly through his nose. “But what?”
He watched as Sunjung bit on her bottom lip a bit too hard. There was a sparkle in her eyes that could only be from tears. She wasn’t even looking at him, only staring straight ahead.
He reached out to hold her hand but before he could even touch her, she pulled away. His heart dropped as he watched her shove her hand down her pockets.
She didn’t want him to touch her.

“I was scared,” Sunjung’s voice cracked. “I was scared that it was going to happen again. I was so scared I couldn’t even move. I felt it all happening again. I couldn’t fight it off.”

Lu Han’s jaw slackened. All of her words were a mess in his head. When he tried putting them together, the conclusion he came to was agonizing.
His eyes landed on Sunjung’s face once again, she hadn’t let the tears in her eyes fall. But when she blinked, a