Chapter 13 : The You, I Miss

   Kenshin Kim was not a clingy boy. But specially that night he couldn’t let go of Jaejoong. Even his mother couldn’t handle it. So there Jaejoong helped Ken to go to sleep. Jaejoong sat on the bed beside him and listened to his stories till the boy feel asleep. It was exhausting day but Jaejoong didn’t feel tired at all. He looked at their hands that locked so tight, Ken hold him as he didn’t want him to leave.

   Jaejoong then realized something that he missed. All the connection, all the affection, those because Ken was his. He was so sure till he could feel his heart clenched painfully. After years longing for his lost love, he met her again unexpectedly and got a precious son as a gift.

“ Did he sleep already?” Sakura asked from the door.

“ Yeah. But he won’t let me go.” Jaejoong pointed at their hands.

   Sakura walked in the room and sat on the chair across the bed. She watched two most precious person in her life together in front of her. Only her strong defense that avoided her from crying.

“ How have you been, Ana? Or I should call you Sakura?”

“ I’ve been living well, Jaejoong. You look so fine as always.”

“ I’m not fine, Ana. Never once after you left. There’s so much regret, so much pain, so much anger that I can’t handle. If  only....”

“ None is your fault, you know that. I never blame you, it’s our fate.”

“ When you have Ken, why didn’t you call me?”

“ I protect him and you from my father. His revenge has blinded him, I don’t know him anymore. He changed my identity and sent me here, but I refused to live within his power. But he is always watching me, if he know that I tell you about Ken, he will take not only you but also Ken from my life. Even if I lost you, I won’t ever lost Ken too. He is the only way I can see you, in his smile, the way he cares, his beautiful eyes, all the things I miss about you.”

“ I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” Jaejoong cried in front of her.

   Jaejoong always thought that when someday he found her, he would greet her with a smile and hug her but all his guilt weakening him. He just can sat and cried in front of her. He had no right even to look her in the eyes.

   Ana stood up and walked towards Jaejoong. She hugged him in silent, absorbing his pain, comforting him from his guilt. Jaejoong felt Ken’s hand tighten on his hand.

“ You have to go now.” Ana said and let him go.

   Jaejoong nodded and slowly pulled his hand. He stared at Ken for the last time and kissed his forehead gently.

“ Good night, Ken. My precious son.” He whispered and left.

“ Jaejoong ah, how’s the dinner?” Jihye who was waiting in his room asked.

   Jaejoong sighed and sat on the sofa. He didn’t want to talk about it but he had the urge to tell Jihye about what happened. Somehow he felt so happy and sad at the same time.

“ It was great.” He replied.

“ Ah so envy. And you met Ken’s mother too. How is she?”

“ She’s a beauty. No wonder Ken is so adorable and handsome.”

“ Awww I’m so curious.”

“ Do you wanna see her?”

   Jihye nodded in excitement and Jaejoong took out his phone from his pocket. He was looking for the picture that taken from the dinner. It was 3 of them together. Jaejoong showed the picture to Jihye.

“ Beautiful, right?” Jaejoong smiled weakly at Jihye.

“ It’s her. How come? She is Ken’s mother?”

“ I’m surprised too. She hasn’t changed a bit, just more beautiful.”

“ It means she is married to someone already?”

“ No. She raises Ken by herself.”

“ Then it means Ken is….”

“ My son, yes.”

“ Oh my God, Jaejoong. This is amazing!!! You found her and a son!!! What will you do now?”

“ I don’t know.”

“ How come you don’t know, stupid!!! Go get them and back to Korea. Or did she reject you?”

“ No. You know how bad I want to be with them but I can’t.”

“ Why??? Why are you being a coward, Jaejoong???”

“ Why don’t you understand? Have you forgotten what happened a year ago, Jihye??? How could I take them back to me just to leave them again?”

   Jihye surprised by his question. Of course that was the reason. How can she forgot that nightmare.

“ Don’t tell anyone about this Jihye. No one needs to know I met Ana and Ken here. I have my wish came true. It’s enough to know that they live well without me.”

“ I’m sorry Jaejoong.” Jihye can’t stop her tears.

“ It’s never your fault, hear me? It’s our fate, Jihye. I never regret it.”

    Jaejoong hugged Jihye and comforting her. Jihye felt the strong guilt in her heart. Jaejoong might think he didn’t need it but Jihye would make sure that he deserved even just the short moment happiness in his life. She would pay her debt to him in any ways possible.

Fiuh I made it, the update I mean XD

See ya next week, it's just 2 or 3 chapters left now

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