Did I deserve to be treated so well? Everyone around me acted as if nothing happened after the accident and I was supposed to play with it. But I couldn't. I didn't fit in and I certainly wouldn't be able to forgive and forget.

Forgive myself and forget about the boy who I drew closer to death.

But the worst thing about it was that I had absolutely no control of my actions and it made me fret.

Would I never be able to be around people again without them thinking I'm a beast?

A knock roused me from my doze. I was certain it must be Tiffany, since she had been the only one visiting me in my room lately. Immediately I turned my back to the door, pretending to sleep. The door slowly opened and I heard as she carefully stept closer. She wasn't alone.

"M-Myungsoo? Are you awake?"

Myungsoo? Who did she mean by that name?

Without moving I waited for her to leave again, but no sign of surrender. She sat down to my bed.

"You have guests. I think you'd like to meet them too!"

I sensed a smile on her lips. It wasn't fair to ignore her. She had always been so nice to me and I had never been able to return that.

Slowly I lowered my shoulder in order to look over it and spotted Tiffany, giving me her distinctive concerned eyes. Behind her two people, a man, and a woman, she was smiling warmly. As I looked them over from head to toe, I noted the woman's eyes filled with tears and her hands covering .

"Myungsoo!" She mumbeled, and indeed, she started crying just a second after.

My eyes widened as a tight knot of confusion built up in my head. Was I supposed to know these people?

Then, the woman didn't keep back anymore, she just rushed over to my bed pushing Tiffany aside and grabbed me by my shoulders. Her eyes gazed directly into mine, but there was something odd about them. Beside the sobbing and the tight hold she got on me, I suddenly saw something flashing up in her eyes. It was brief and barely noticeable, but I discerned a dark red glint in them. Why was it so familiar?

Before I could deepen my thoughts she pulled me closer to her and went for a long tight hug. Perplexed I glanced over to Tiffany, who somehow seemed totally moved by the scenario. Could it be-? No way.

The woman weakened her embrace and looked at me again. She smiled as tears continuously streamed down her mature yet feminine face.

"So many years we looked out for you! So despairing! So hopeless!"

Her sobbing got even harder, understanding her was a true challenge.

"I thought I'd never see you again!"

Nothing was heard except the doleful sobs of the strange woman. I couldn't help but stare back and forth between the couple, which must have tempted Tiffany to break the silence. She had always been attentive to my expressions, in that case, confusion.

"Myungsoo ... That's a beautiful name! For such a beautiful boy of course." She smiled at the man behind her. "Is there a specific person you named him after when he was born?"

My breath stood still. Did that mean I couldn't recognize my own parents?

No, I didn't want to be burdened with more guilt, I just didn't want to-

"Yes, it's actually my father's name and it suited quite well since he passed away by the time he was born." The man cooly replied.

Strangely, the man or my father acted like the exact opposite of the woman. All that time he stood by the door saying nothing. There wasn't even the slightest indication of gladness in his attitude, which seemed like quite an unusual behavior for a father who just got to see his son after years of separation.

But who was I to judge. I didn't even recognize him.

"Miss Kim, Mr Kim, if you could just come with me for a second." Tiffany motioned my parents outside.

Reluctantly the whiny woman stood up and went towards the door without letting me out of sight until it shut behind their backs. It seemed like I was alone again, but I could easily eavesdrop on them since they didn't bother on lingering right in front of my door.

"He's still in shock, he needs his time."

"Can't we just take him with us?"

"Yeah, isn't it best if he rests in his old bedroom?"

"I'm sorry, but there are still many tests we need to carry out. Furthermore he can't even utter a single tone."

"We can take care of that! With the love of his parents he'll soon get better!"

"As I said, Miss, I'm really sorry, but I can't let you take him with you. He needs professional help and some time to process what happened. Plus-"

A sigh.

"-it seems as if he isn't quite aware of, ... well, ... you know ..."

"What?" The man's impatience was unequivocal.

"Again, I'm really sorry to say this, but at this moment I am certain he has no idea who you are." Tiffany said straightout. I didn't know she could be that direct towards people, but I never doubted she was fully aware of the previous situation.

"B-But-" That was my mother. More sobs were heard. I felt so shameless.

"Don't worry Miss, he'll soon recall everything. Just let him stay here for a bit longer and I'm sure he'll get better."

That was the last thing I heard. Would I soon recall their faces? How could she be so certain about that? And why, why was I able to clearly remember that one face? That one face I tried so hard to forget over the past years?

Dammit!

I got rescued from hell and all skill I was left with was hurting people. Why did I have to get rescued anyway?

Woohyun should just have let me die with the other boys.

Let me suffer the way they did.

I didn't deserve to get rescued.

I didn't deserve to live.

The same evening after my parents left, I decided to come around the community-hall again. I didn't know much about it except that it was a place for people of this institution to meet up, drink tea or occupy oneself. Actually I was a bit restrained about going there again after the matter with Sunggyu, but in the end it didn't hold me back anyway, since I already spent to much time alone.

I was more worried about being left with my thoughts.

With a guarding look around the hall, I entered, wondering if anyone would hold me back after days of the happenings. But since nobody seemed to notice my appearence, I settled down on a couch by the window. It was the same seat that girl had taken back then, when she read - no - starred at a book.

I remembered how calmly she sat there in her feminine white dress, like a graceful statue made of porcelain.

What had such a beautiful fragile character to do in such an oppressive environment?

"You are sitting on my spot."

My view wandered up to face a delicate figure, a familiar one. Her voice was sweet and gentle and her eyes dark-brown and innocent as I starred into them. Long black lashes framed them perfectly and never let them blink without remark, since it felt like the whole world stopped for a moment when they did so.

Never could I recall a moment when I studied someone's eyes so precisely and with so much fascination.

But the examination took it's end as she spoke up again.

"Excuse me, I'll just-"

She proceeded to turn around, but paused as she saw me moving over for her. Confused yet grateful she positioned herself next to me. Only then I realized she had a book under her arm and according to the cover it was the same she held the last time I saw her.

We sat in silence for a few moments, as she eventually broke it again.

"You're the mute boy, aren't you?" She turned to me grasping me with her pure round eyes once more.

I slowly nodded, dazed by her glance. How bad I wanted to talk with her.

Hi there!

I'm sorry for the abrupt end, but the chapter was getting kinda long plus I'm actually really tired at the moment.

Hopefully it doesn't bother you too much, I'll soon upload the next one!

Thank you!