I lost the next few days to trains of thoughts, which prevented me from sleeping and eating properly. Not that I shouldn't have been used to it since my new lifestyle was way more comfortable than the one I had to endure the past previous years, but it bothered me, since it also stopped me from meeting Jia.

I missed sitting next to her and listening to her, when she talked about her view on the world and the people who lived in it. But every positive emotion that came to my mind immediately got overpowered by hatred and frustration. I actually assumed that I had gotten over the thought of my former best friend leaving me behind and that it would actually just affect me in emergency situations, but I apperently was wrong.

My wounds got torn open again, and they hurt worse than before.

That pain was no comparison to the physical injuries I had bettered.

Sungyeol was healthy and alive, he reached something while I rotted in that deep black hole. As his best friend I probably should have been glad for him and beg to see him again to see what a man he had become over all those years, but the thought of it filled me with disgust.

He lived.

I rotted.

I laid in my bed consumed by my loathing when a knock tore me out of it. First, I hesitated to even react to it, because I was rather unsure if I wanted to see someone at the moment, but as soon as it opened I regretted thinking like that. At Jia's sight I instantely sat up from my lying position in my bed and greeted her with a slight smile.

She muttered a sheepish "Hey." and sat down on my bed.

It was the first time she visited my room which made me quite uncomfortable at first, but the feeling vanished as we started talking.

"I haven't seen you around in a while." She determined. "Are you ok?"

"I'm fine, I just ... needed some time to myself after that stirring fighting incident." Lie.

"I understand. You just seemed a bit forsaken and lost when I last saw you on the rooftop."

"I'm fine."

"You already said that."

Pause. I was slightly relieved about her appearence, since her presence distracted me from thinking about Sungyeol. It rather made me wonder about her thoughts, her relationship with Sunggyu and wether it was serious. It didn't care how much I marveled about the fact that I had so much interest on that topic, I would still keep myself entertained with dabating about them in my head. And regarding my that time status on distress about Sungyeol, it was the best thing I could wish for.

"Why don't you tell me about your life?"

I was astonished at her sudden raise of voice, especially because of that difficult yet so simple question. My life? What did my life even contain until now?

"There's nothing I could tell you." I coolly responded, but her tenacity wouldn't weaken.

"Come on, I told you so much about me! It's your duty to return the favour!" She pouted.

If I thought about it now she actually never really told me anything about herself in particular, merely about the people who surrounded her. But I wasn't willing to hustle her to tell me anyways. That just wasn't my style.

"I never said I want to hear it, you just told me."

"Ah, and why would you meet up with me everyday of the week to hear me fussing about pretty much useless stuff?"

Point for her.

"I was bored. No one talked to me."

"Yeah, sure. What about that Woohyun guy? Sunggyu told me he talked about you."

He did? My eyes widened.

"I don't know that guy." I lied in response. Well, it wasn't an actual lie since I really didn't know Woohyun. He was the only one I knew at some point, but that was way back over the hill.

"Oh..." She lowered her glance so that I couldn't read her expressions anymore which kind of upset me for some reason.

Another pause set in, whereupon I decided to be proactive and asked her a question that had been burning on my tongue for way too long.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure." She muttered without turning her face up again.

"What is your relationship with Sunggyu?"

Wasn't it obvious? No, it wasn't. At least for me it wasn't, since I still had a slight spark of hope, although I didn't know where that spark came from, and what it's purpose consisted of. I merely had a feeling that it would make me more confident and secure to know the answer.

A sudden chuckle disturbed the serious tension that laid in the atmosphere. I was about to ask what caused her amusement, when she spoke up again.

"You're so cute when you talk! It's a pity you couldn't do it up until now."

My ears heated up at her utterings and I could clearly feel my heart beat fastening. What was that feeling? Cute? Me? No, she just tried avoiding to response, I was certain. There was just no way anyone could ever use those words in that context.

"Don't divert from the question!" I protested as her chuckle gradually died down.

"It's complicated. We just overcame a whole lot of obstacles together in our pasts and we just sticked together." She blushed and I noticed how she slowly drifted away in her thoughts.

So they knew each other for a long time. That was not saying much. They could have been really close friends as well. I caught myself slightly grinning at that tought. What had gotten into me?

"You seem to like each other a lot." I murmured under my breath.

"He was there when nobody else was. And I could never thank him enough for that."

Those words were familiar. They really were. I used to tell them myself many times.

First related to Sungyeol.

Later on related to Jia.

But apparently she already had someone to watch over her, and it made me assured me that it would probably always be him. Still, something told me to think otherwise despite the few possibilities I had and it somehow gave me courage.

I wanted to be the one to catch her up when she fell.

I wanted to be the one to fix her broken wings when her angelic body crashed to the ground.

I wanted to become her saviour, just like Woohyun had been mine and just like she had been when I was spiritually lost.

I wanted to comfort her, to carry her.

And I would.

I threw an encouraging smile at her, suddenly leaving her in amazement.

"Myungsoo!" She brightly responded to it. "You smile!"

And we talked and laughed the entire evening, Just like normal people do.

Ok. First off, I'm sorry. I know I promised to make the next chapter less boring but asdafhhadgfj sorry.

Secondly, I'm extremely lacking on sleep! I know that's a lame excuse and all but please bear with me!

And did you get the Kris 'not-my-style'-reference? *wink wink*

I love you my dearest reader and if I don't somebody definetly does!

Thank you!