Lately I've been feeling attracted to a certain thought, which didn't seem to release me until I spent some time overthinking it. Usually I would probably have been glad that my mind slowly cleared up by my hatred for Sungyeol, but in hindsight it wasn't such a good idea either. I wanted to join the Lee-Fighters, those strong brave men who risked their lives for saving the helpless, the lost. Although some might still define me as a lost person, I wanted to do something with my existence and what other way would there be to watch over Jia and protect her than with my physical abilities?

Still, there were a few things that kept me thinking it over and over again, and kept me from actually doing what I desired.

Sungyeol was a Lee; meaning I would also fight for him if I joined.

Secondly, I didn't know if they'd actually let me in. I was a patient after all, and I wasn't sure if there had ever been a patient who joined the Fighters.

But despite these, I was willing to join and there was always the urge to kill everyone who may mean harm to Jia. I knew she wouldn't let me if I told her, but how else could I show her my attraction towards her if I didn't dare to get closer to her since Sunggyu was always there and always watched me, at least it felt like it. I simply didn't have a choice.

A thing which I apparently totally forgot about, were my parents. They wanted to pick me up as soon as I seemed to act like a normal human and since the day when Jia and I laughed and talked for hours I sure also felt like it. But my parents were still so strange, so unfamiliar, ... they kind of scared me. I didn't want them to take me with them, but I couldn't hide that from Tiffany who would probably be the one to call them when she noticed I was talking and socializing.

Not good.

I decided to have an actual talk with her, telling her how I felt, but I hesitated. Once she'd know it she might just try to convince me to get back to them and that sure wasn't what I intended. But I went in with it anyways, calling her to my room by pressing the button next to my bed which was meant for calling her when I needed something when I didn't have a voice.

About three minutes after, she sat down on my bed giving me a questioning glance since she might have noticed it wasn't food I wanted. I took a deep breath before I'd speak the first words she'd hear from me.

"So, Tiffany, ..." I waited for a reaction. But there was none. She just looked and slightly nodded at me as if me talking was the most usual thing ever, whereupon my expression turned rather bewildered.

"You knew it?"

"Knew what?"

She still sounded so casual and it seriously bothered me. I wanted to be the one to tell her about my talking ability!

"T-That I talk!" I noticed how my voice became upset and I immediately regreted speaking those words so harshly.

"Of course, I was the first one to get notice of it out of the nurses and doctors here." Fortunately she wasn't affected by my tone and gave me one of her typical bright smiles.

My face turned to the ground, slightly disappointed. "Did you tell my parents?"

"No, Jia told me not to."

I marveled at her name. Jia? Why would she tell Tiffany such a thing? Did she even know about my parents? I looked at Tiffany who apparently noticed my sudden mood alteration and didn't hesitate to explain.

"She said she had so much fun talking to you the other day that it would be a great shame if you'd have to go now. She said she wouldn't let you." Tiffany chucked at the last sentance and my eyes widened in amazement.

Jia wanted me to stay? My heartbeat started racing like crazy and I felt my breath slowly vanishing. Jia wanted me to stay! She wanted me by her side!

But suddenly I became aware - I wanted to join the Fighters. No way she'd let me. I sure was glad and somehow relieved, but I had already been so confident about my choice and this just dashed it into pieces. But I wanted to fight. I wanted to protect her, make sure she was save all the time by actually doing something about it! A conflict boiled up inside of me and I would prepare for another sleepless night. How come there was always something preventing me from having at least one peaceful sleep?

Tiffany started softly rubbing my back. I gave her a grateful smile and she asked me wether I'd want something to eat or drink but I thankfully rejected. It felt good being able to return the light and soft tone she spoke with and I noticed how she was actually delighted about it. She left my room by wishing me a good night and I wondered if someone wishing it for you may cause one, but no. As soon as I laid down the thoughts started streaming through my mind again and there was no sense in trying to build up a barrier inside of it.

S u n g y e o l

A sudden headache attacked me as I was on the way to the headquater. It was already about ten o'clock, but since my sleep rhythm was completely out of order anyways, I didn't care turning to work at such a late hour. I parked my motorcycle at my reservated parking lot behind the great office building. The sign said 'President Lee No.2' and as always I turned away from it in disgust.

I didn't like to be numbered.

There was always that hint of competition hid in it and since it was always me who failed at most of the missions, I liked it even less.

Hoya was always the strong and successful leader who just seemed as if he was born to do this job. He had leading abilities and was looked up to by others. I was just the adjuct that was quite useful at some point, but lost it's utility over the years. 

I often wondered why they even kept me in the leader position, but then I remembered that Sungjong was in it too and he also hadn't been the most helpful over the past months as far as I could assume.

I strolled inside the building where I got greeted byour weedy receptionist whose name I always forgot right after someone told him, which is why I always called him seaweed. Of course he didn't like it, but I was the head and he had to obey.

"Hello Mr. Lee. I'm glad to see you again after you recovered from your illness."

My illness? Probably another lie from Hoya, to prevent the others from asking any questions about my absence.

"Seaweed." I mumbled without shedding off my sour expression as I entered the elevator.

As tall and great the office building seemed on the outside, the actual headquater was hidden under it and it looked nothing like anyone would expect it. The office building looked quite modern yet not as advanced as the basement where a great team of crime specialists elaborated their plans with our Fighters who were always ready for the next mission. There was a point where I was proud to be the head of such an amazing organisation, but presuming that most of the people working there were more serviceable than myself, made me kind of lose that feeling.

Spotted Hoya sitting by a table with two other guys while being patched up by a young assistant and immediately approached him. She must have been new since I had never seen her before in this institution and I had to admit she was kind of cute. But since that didn't matter at that moment, I turned my entire attention towards Hoya who put on a stern look once he catched sight of me.

"Look who we got here." He scoffed.

"Shut it.." I snapped back.

"I met your friend a few days ago."

"So what?"

"He's nice."

I slightly shivered and tried hard to not let it show. It didn't bother me. It didn't bother me. It didn't bother me. I kept telling myself these words as I tried forming another cold response in my head.

"I don't care."

Hoya sighed and turned his gaze to the assistant who seemed to have finished her work. He thankfully waved her off and looked back at me.

"But I think he cares. Don't you think he at least deserves to be visited by you?"

Myungsoo cared? No, never would he care. He sure hated me for what I've done. But what if I was wrong? What if he really wanted to see me and was willing to forgive me? I sarcastically laughed at the thought of it. Never would he.

"No."

Turning really sour again I turned around intending to leave Hoya again when he suddenly grabbed my wrist and spoke to me with the softest voice I had heard in a long time.

"Don't run away from your past Sungyeol. It's not healthy for you or him either."

Of course he was right. No doubt about that. But I simply wasn't ready.

Sooo, this chapter should give a little insight in Sungyeol's life. How did you like it?

I know it can get kinda lame at times, but you know what, sometimes there's a little chill needed, right? .... idk I'm sorry.

Have a nice day!