Baekhyun wakes up in one shocking and terrifying moment as something large lets out a battle cry and attacks his bed. He lets out a raspy, shrill battle cry of his own while flailing in whatever defenses his half-awake mind can muster up. Only when he hears deep hearty laughter does he realize that he’s in no immediate danger.

“What the hell, Chanyeol!” he yells out in frustration and flops back into the covers.

“Aww, don’t be like that!” Chanyeol says as he flips the comforter back, “it’s a beautiful day!”

Baekhyun grumbles and then stretches out knowing he won’t win this battle. His grumbling doesn’t last long though because Chanyeol lies out beside him and pats his stomach. Baekhyun can’t help but smile at the strange habit. He turns his head to look up at Chanyeol. “Why do you always do that?”

Chanyeol stops, his hand resting still on top of Baekhyun’s stomach. “Do what?” he asks. Chanyeol’s mind is momentarily preoccupied because for some reason his best friend’s sleepy eyes and rustled hair looks way adorable in a way Chanyeol’s never noticed before.

“Pat my tummy. You’ve always done that ever since we were kids anytime you wake me up,” Baekhyun says, drawing back Chanyeol’s attention to the conversation.

Chanyeol looks down to where his hand rests on Baekhyun’s stomach and he shrugs. “I don’t know. I guess I never really realized I was doing it,” he looks down to meet Baekhyun’s curious eyes, “Why? You don’t like it? Do you want me to stop?”

Baekhyun looks away and shrugs. “Nah, I don’t mind it. I was just wondering.”

There’s a moment of silence where time seems to stop and Chanyeol looks at Baekhyun wondering how he never noticed just how much has changed. The bed that they used to fit in comfortably has grown too small to have much space between them, yet somehow they are farther away from each other than ever before. The eyes that are so familiar on the surface hold only mysteries beneath. Chanyeol used to know Baekhyun better than anyone. He always knew what Baekhyun wanted, but now he has no idea.

The moment almost lasts too long, but Chanyeol catches himself before Baekhyun notices. “Well,” he gives Baekhyun’s stomach one last pat before sitting up, “let’s get something to eat.”

Baekhyun nods and sits up, telling Chanyeol to go ahead while he goes to the bathroom first. As soon as he closes the bathroom door, he sags on the counter with one hand over his heart. The rapid pulse beats against his chest and he lets out a big sigh. Honestly, Baekhyun didn’t think he would survive. The way Chanyeol was looking at him, his hand on his stomach, the warm morning glow haloing Chanyeol’s outline, it was all too much for Baekhyun’s heart. Admittedly, Baekhyun might’ve given in to the waking-up-next-to-your-boyfriend fantasy, but only for a moment. He’s almost positive Chanyeol didn’t notice.

After finishing up in the bathroom and finally calming down, Baekhyun puts on his game face and joins Chanyeol in the kitchen.

“Whatcha cookin’, good lookin’,” Baekhyun says.

Chanyeol laughs and holds up a bowl. “Cereal,” he answers.

“Ah yes, breakfast of champions,” Baekhyun says with a smile and catching the bowl Chanyeol slides him across the counter. “So, what’re we doing today?”

Chanyeol shrugs. “I don’t know, why?”

Baekhyun gives him a look of suspicion. “Well, I mean I’m assuming you didn’t come over and wake me up at 8 something in the morning for no reason.”

Chanyeol just shrugs again and without looking up from his bowl says, “I don’t know. I was up and I guess I just wanted to, you know, hang out with you.”

Baekhyun puts down his spoon and places a hand over his heart. “Awwwwwww! Chanyeol! You wanted to spend time with me? I feel like a forgotten mother whose son just popped in for a visit,” he says and then nuzzles Chanyeol’s shoulder.

Chanyeol rolls his eyes but laughs. “Oh come on, you’re acting like I’ve been neglecting you.”

Baekhyun sits back up and shrugs. “Well, I mean maybe neglect is a strong word buuuut…” he swirls his spoon in his bowl, putting on a pout.

Chanyeol opens his mouth to respond but finds that nothing comes out but a gush of air. He sighs. He knows that Baekhyun is joking, but at the same time, he can see the truth behind it. It’s part of the reason why he came over in the first place. Even Chanyeol thinks he’s not spending enough time with Baekhyun.

“Chanyeol?”

This time, Chanyeol is lost for too long among his own thoughts and he’s been unknowingly staring at Baekhyun for the past couple of minutes. “Hmm?”

Baekhyun turns to face Chanyeol. “What’s up with you?” he asks. His expression is guarded but Chanyeol tries to look past it anyway.

Chanyeol reaches up his hand brushing Baekhyun’s hair and caressing the side of his face. “I don’t know. I just…everything is so different now. You’re so different now. I thought…I thought things could be the same, like we could pick up where we left off, but we can’t. We’re disconnected, Baekhyun, have been for some time.”

Baekhyun pulls back, taking Chanyeol’s hand away from his face. “What are you saying, Chanyeol?” confusion and hurt shine in his eyes as he fears the worst. He gives a hollow laugh trying to cover his fear with a joke. “Why does this feel like a breakup?”

Chanyeol takes hold of Baekhyun's hand before he can slip away. “No, no that’s not it. Sorry, I’m doing this all wrong. I mean I don’t even know what “this” is. I guess I’m just thinking out loud? I don’t know. I guess it’s just that I’m starting to realize that we’ve grown up, that we’re different people.”

Baekhyun shakes his head. “What do you mean you’re just starting to realize? Of course we’re different people, Chanyeol. We’ve spent years apart with virtually no contact. We’ll always be familiar, but we don’t know each other anymore. That’s why,” Baekhyun sighs, “that’s why I’ve been wanting to, you know, do this,” he gestures around them, “actually get to know each other again.”

“Well, you should’ve said something,” Chanyeol says.

Baekhyun pulls his hand away and gives Chanyeol an irritated look. “Really?”

Chanyeol shrugs. “You know I can be dense sometimes.”

Baekhyun rolls his eyes at the “sometimes”. “It’s just that,” Baekhyun looks down and fiddles with the hem of his shirt, “you know… I mean, you changed so much too, like, totally different. You didn’t need me anymore. You could make friends on your own. I just didn’t know if…”

Chanyeol furrows his brow, trying his hardest to comprehend what Baekhyun’s talking about. “You didn’t know what?” he asks prompting Baekhyun to just spell it out for him.

“I didn’t know if…you, you know, wanted me, to be friends with me anymore…” Baekhyun mumbles the last part, but Chanyeol hears it anyway.

“So what? I was still talking to you out of obligation?” Chanyeol asks.

Baekhyun shrugs. “I don’t know? Yeah? I mean our families are friends and we grew up together so its not like you could just blow me off.”

Chanyeol is so upset about this revelation that he can’t muster up any words to respond. He’s always been told that he never pays enough attention to his surroundings or other people when it comes to consideration, but he’s never actually considered what they said until now. Which makes a lot of sense. He really needs to work on this. Chanyeol stands up, paces, and then stops to look at Baekhyun who is still looking down at the hem of his shirt. The realization that he made his best friend feel this way hits him hard and he replays everything over again in his head.

Chanyeol starts to register the comments his classmates and teammates had said when he told them he and Baekhyun were best friends. They said things like “Wow, I would’ve never guessed” or “Who? Oh, the one with the eyeliner?” or “I didn’t know he hung out with anyone but the President”. And when he really thinks about it, their tone, which he dismissed before, was actually not a friendly one. And the fact that Baekhyun didn’t mind when the soccer team used him for their “joke” makes more sense now. Now that he thinks about it, isn’t it that no one really cared about who Baekhyun was before Chanyeol got to the school, but now suddenly the whole soccer team is interested in him? So because of Chanyeol suddenly everyone is “discovering” Baekhyun and deciding that they like him and are interested? How is that fair? It's really pissing Chanyeol off the more he thinks about it. He starts pacing again. And the worst ones of all are Leroy and Cash!

“Uh, Chanyeol? Is everything alright?” Baekhyun says as he gets up with a concerned look on his face. He just saw Chanyeol go from perplexed to straight mad in the span of 30 seconds.

Chanyeol stops abruptly and spins around to face Baekhyun. “No! No, everything is not all right. Why couldn’t I see it before?” he saunters over and gently grips Baekhyun’s face, “for so long you protected me as a kid, but now it is you who needs protection, and I swear I’ll be the one who protects you! Even if that means protecting you from myself.”

“Wait, what?” Baekhyun says more confused than ever. What he wouldn’t give to see what goes on inside Chanyeol’s head.

“Let me go back. First and foremost I need to say, ‘I’m sorry’. I’m so, so sorry Baekhyun for making you feel like I didn’t want you in my life because it couldn’t be farther from the truth. I swear it!” Chanyeol says passionately into Baekhyun’s face.

“Yeah, okay thanks, really but don’t you think you’re a bit worked up?” Baekhyun says as he tries to loosen Chanyeol’s hands from his face.

Finally, Chanyeol lets go only to gesture largely. “Of course I’m worked up! Because of me, suddenly people are messing with you and that’s totally not okay!”

Baekhyun takes a step back. “Really, Chanyeol its fine. Honestly, I haven’t had that many interesting things happen to me in forever.”

Chanyeol stops and huffs. “But Baekhyun, it's for all the wrong reasons. People should be interested in you because of who you are, not because of who you are to me.”

At this, everything clicks in Baekhyun’s head and he’s able to piece together how Chanyeol got so worked up. It took a while but Chanyeol must’ve finally figured out that Baekhyun was never an interest among his student peers. Baekhyun gives a small laugh and takes Chanyeol’s hand to lead him to the couch where they both plop down.

“Look, Chanyeol, it's true I wasn’t the most popular kid in school and yeah, being your friend really boosted me up socially, but it's not like the people I hang out with now do it just because we’re friends. Sure, that’s why they approached me, but we genuinely get along now. And it's not like people didn’t like me, it's just that people didn’t really notice me or get to know me, you see? And to their defense, I did skip class a lot.” Baekhyun smiles at Chanyeol who still wears a look of stubborn doubt.

“Okay,” Chanyeol agrees in understanding, “but still I don’t like Leroy. And I’m still skeptical of Cash. I still don’t know his true intentions, Baekhyun. I’m serious, its guys like that you have to be careful with. They play nice in the beginning, but once they get what they want…”

Baekhyun smacks Chanyeol’s arm. “Chanyeol!”

Chanyeol holds his wounded arm. “What? I’m just saying you have to be careful.”

Baekhyun scoffs. “Please, I think I could tell with something like that. Besides I’m not exactly the type people want for just looks, you know?”

At this, Chanyeol sits up straight and looks at Baekhyun. He isn’t just being humble, Chanyeol realizes, he’s serious. Chanyeol knows he should say something, but he’s just not sure how to go about it. “Baekhyun,” his tone catches Baekhyun’s attention, “you really don’t think you’re that attractive?”

Baekhyun’s a bit caught off guard but he answers truthfully. “I mean I don’t think I’m unattractive, just not attractive enough for that kind of thing.”

Chanyeol thinks back to the night of the party when he saw Baekhyun dancing and can’t seem to find the right words to say “you’re really hot” without making things awkward. He turns away from Baekhyun and sits forward. “Baekhyun, I’m going to say this for your own safety, because if you don’t realize just how attractive you are you may end up in a predicament that you never considered before.”

“What do you mean?” Baekhyun asks, his tone masked in uncertain humor.

“Uhhhm, what I mean is that, um, well how about I give you an example?” Chanyeol clears his throat, glances at Baekhyun, and then decides looking at the floor will make this easier. “Okay, so when you were at that party you were dancing, and you probably had some drinks so you may not recall just how many people you danced with, or rather how many people were trying to dance with you. So what I’m saying is that you may not realize it, but you are a very good dancer, not as in skillful dancing, but in the sense that you can adequately move your body in an, ah um, enticing way and because you look great while doing it.”

There is a moment of silence then Chanyeol looks up to see how Baekhyun is processing his words. He really, really hopes Baekhyun understands what he’s saying. Baekhyun is gazing blankly forward and then he opens his mouth, closes it, turns to Chanyeol, and with an easing grin says, “Are you saying that I’m hot?”

Chanyeol coughs and slightly adverts his eyes as he nods his head. “…Yes.”

“And other people think so too?” Baekhyun asks, a smile stretching over his face.

Again Chanyeol nods and answers with a curt, “Yes.”

Baekhyun thinks a moment. “So, would you say that I’m y?”

Chanyeol lets out a sigh and completely looks away before answering, “Uhm, yeah.” He doesn’t know why he feels slightly embarrassed or why his cheeks feel a bit warm. It's definitely not because he can’t stop remembering the way Baekhyun looked dancing that night, definitely not.

Baekhyun is glad Chanyeol looked away because he’s certain he’s blushing. He didn’t think Chanyeol would actually answer or at least not so directly, and Baekhyun definitely doesn’t want to think about how the air between them suddenly seems charged with tension. He thinks he might explode if this last much longer, but before he can the ringing of Chanyeol’s phone breaks the moment.

Startled, Chanyeol all but jumps up and fishes out his phone, hastily answering without checking who called. “Hello?”

“Hey! You didn’t forget about today, right?”

Oh . Chanyeol smacks his forehead. It’s Sojoon. He totally forgot whatever it is that he promised to do with her. He wracks his brain trying to remember, but for the life of him he can’t. “Uuuh, I might’ve?” he answers tentatively.

There’s a sigh on the other side of the line. “It’s fine, that’s why I called ahead of time just to be safe. Anyway it’s couple’s day at the Fun Barn and I used to go every year with my ex, so you said you’d go with me this year. We should get lunch around 11:30 and then go to the Fun Barn, okay?”

“Right, okay. I’m picking you up then?” Chanyeol says.

“Yeah, and try not to be late.”

Chanyeol nods and checks the time. 9:15 AM. “Got it. Bye.” He sighs and sits back down on the couch. He wanted to spend the day with Baekhyun, but now he’s only got about an hour and a half.

“You have to go?” Baekhyun says and he doesn’t bother hiding his disappointment. It makes Chanyeol’s stomach churn.

“Yeah, I forgot I promised to take Sojoon to couple’s day at the Fun Barn.” Chanyeol’s voice holds no excitement for the event.

“Oh,” Baekhyun pauses for a moment, picking at the arm of the couch, “so y’all are a thing then?”

For some reason, Chanyeol hates that Baekhyun is asking him that again. “No. No, it's just that she usually went every time with her ex so I guess I felt bad and said I’d take her.”

Baekhyun hums and nods but doesn’t say anything.

“But I don’t have to leave until 11. I’m supposed to pick her up at 11:30, or was it eat lunch at 11:30?” Chanyeol says.

Baekhyun just laughs. “You better make it 10:45 just to be safe.”

Chanyeol gives a smile that says ‘I’m sorry’. “Yeah, I better, but we still have some time before then.”

“Let’s just watch a show,” Baekhyun suggests and Chanyeol nods in agreement.

The two head back to Baekhyun’s room and curl up together on the bed while they watch several episodes of Moonbeam City.

i've been in a rut

writer's block if you will

but now i'm back

i finally just forced myself to sit in front of the computer and write

well i hope you enjoyed :)