Taemin was sitting on the floor cross-legged. He clutched a daisy between his two front legs, or arms, depending on how you thought about it. The chair plucked off the petals viciously.

"He loves me, he loves me not, he loves me..." The last petal fluttered onto the ground. The chair giggled like a manaical teen girl and rolled around on the floor. He turned pink with happiness. 

Taemin decided he would tell Onew and break him the news- the flower thought Minho really did like him! 

Taemin felt a tap on his chair shoulder.

"Hi Taemin, can I sit here?" His prince smiled froggily.

"Um."

"OK, thanks." His prince, Choi Minho, sat down in front of him. "Here, I bought you banana-flavored boba."

The chair blushed violently. "T-thanks." Minho always brought him the best presents. Being a chair was hard; you couldn't just go up to the front counter and order something like normal people could.

Taemin grabbed the boba with his front leg and lifted it to his mouth gratefully. It was delicious, just like Minho...

"So...how are you?" Minho asked.

"Actually, not that well. People treat me like crap. Wouldn't you rather people asked before sitting on you? It's only the polite thing to do, right?" Taemin complained. 

"I guess that would ." 

"And you can never tell them to get off, especially because their big butts are squishing you!" 

"But, Taeminnie, you're a chair!" Minho finally blurted out. "That's who you are!"

The chair's eyes filled with tears and he felt his lip starting to quiver. 

"Is...is that all I am to you?" He whispered. "Just another chair?"

Minho's dinner-plate-sized eyes widened even further. "No, no, no! Please don't cry, Taemin! Baby, don't cry! I didn't mean it that way!"

Taemin turned away, but Minho gently grabbed his chairy chin and forced Taemin to look at him. Minho wiped away the chair's tears.

"I'm sorry for hurting you, Minnie...you mean much more to me than just a chair. We've been talking to each other for months and I think I like you..."

Taemin sniffled. "Liar. We can't be together, I'm only a chair."

"I'll prove my love to you!" Minho marched up the front counter, where Kai was sitting there, enraptured by the love story happening before him. Kai stuffed another handful of popcorn in his mouth and wiped away a tear.

"It's so beautiful! I love this drama!" Kai sobbed. "I wonder how he'll prove his love..."

Kyungsoo rolled his eyes. How come the retards always ended up at his bakery? He didn't become a baker so that strange, stalker-like, es could take advantage of inanimate objects.

"How may I help you." Kyungsoo uttered, with as much enthuasism as a dead donkey.

"How much for do you want for the chair?" Minho shot back.

"..." Kyungsoo blinked. That was unexpected, even coming from this...frog-faced idiot.

"Hello?" Minho waved a hand in front of Kyungsoo.

"What?" Kyungsoo snapped. "It's not for sale."

"How about...a hundred? Hundred-fifty?" Minho waved a wad of bills in the air like it was a flag. "Two-hundred, final offer."

Kyungsoo forgot how to roll his eyes for a second. 

"It's my son's chair, ask him!" Kyungsoo looked pissed. 

"The sun is your son? But Suho's so old!" Minho said. "I won't judge."

"Kill me now." Kyungsoo turned to the wall and banged his head until he fell to the floor, writhing in pain.

Kai looked at the body on the floor, nodded approvingly, and glanced back at the wad of bills in Minho's hand. "300 bucks and he's yours."

He needed the money. For his dolls, of course. Teeny-weeny needed a new summer skirt.

Minho tossed the bills at Kai's face happily."Sold!"

"It's raining!" Kai said in awe.

 The froggy man picked up the chair and spun him around. Taemin giggled. His dream was coming true at last!

"Taeminnie! You're free!" Minho cheered, before marching out the door.
---

When Sehun returned to his retarded family, he wasn't happy, to say the least. He looked into the bakery and saw; Onew crying in the corner, Kyungsoo on the ground, and Kai throwing money into the air. Obviously, Sehun assumed the worst.

"I can't believe you performed a homicide, plus a kidnapping!" Sehun yelled, punching Kai, Goo JunPyo style. He kicked Kai in the shin and soon Kai was reduced to a pile of mumbling tears. 

"Who did you let kidnap my Taemin?!" Sehun said menacingly.

Kyungsoo whimpered.

"Froggy soldier bought him!" Kai scrambled backwards. "Don't kill me! I didn't murder anyone, yet, but it should be on my bucket list somewhere..."

"What? Someone BOUGHT MY TAEMIN?" 

Onew nodded his tabletop head. He rubbed away a stray tear with his chicken. "Why would Taemin do this to me! I thought we had something special!" Onew burst into another fresh bought of tears.

Sehun a paper and a pencil at him. 

"Here, draw the kidnapper."

Onew vaguely sketched a frog holding a flag made of money. "There. He's a meanie."

Sehun studied the drawing. 

"I've seen this guy before!" He exclaimed. 

"Really." Kyungsoo scratched his head. "I mean, I'm pretty sure he was human..."

Sehun whipped around and shot his dad a look. "Shush, I'm thinking."

"What a bratty kid." Kai muttered. "Respect your elder berries, otherwise you'll be a hobo living on the streets and you'll die because the best food you'll ever eat is some dumpster burritos you found in the cracks of the sidewalk...."

Sehun nodded thoughtfully. "I think I'm going to look for the kidnapper at the orphanage. If I were a chair-stealing frog, I would go to the orphanage."

And maybe, just maybe, he wanted to go the orphanage because he really wanted to see Luhan again.
---

Key looked at his name tag that recognized him as a visitor of the orphanage.

"Ew. This name tag doesn't go with my shoes." Key took off his name tag and stuck it on Jonghyun. "Here, you can wear both of our's."

Jonghyun was sadly petting the name tags. The name tags reminded him of his dead butterfly. 

A car honked and Jonghyun was jolted out of his melancholic daydream.

"Yah!" Key shot daggers at the car with his eyes. No one could scare Jonghyun like that, except for him!

 A five-year-old boy stepped out of the driver seat of the car coolly. He was wearing a pair of polished black shoes and Gucci sunglasses. 

"Very posh." Key nodded to himself.

"By any chance, have you seen a deer and bun around here, anywhere?" Sehun asked politely. He had adopted a British accent somewhere along the road between the bakery and the orphanage.

"Oh! You mean my future son!" Jonghyun said excitedly. "Do you know I can't wait to enroll my deer son in school and bring him home and kiss him and give him snuggles...?"

"Jonghyun, according to the Big All Grown Up Kids Parenting Book, you should give all your children equal amounts of love." Key reprimanded.

"I want to give all of them cuddles?" Jonghyun offered. "Except for the scary eyeliner one. That one you can keep for yourself."

Key blushed. "Aw, thanks."

Sehun tapped his foot impatiently. "Um, where did you last see the deer again? Or a bouncy bun by any chance?"

Key looked the boy up and down. No, he wasn't checking out a five-year-old, he was just judging his outfit. 

"Are you a friend of them?" Key finally asked.

"You could say that, yeah." 

"Alright, fine, they're painting their nails in the bathroom of their house." Key looked at Sehun suspiciously. "You better not steal my expensive nail polish if you go see them."

"Oh, I have much more important things to do..." Sehun smiled, a little creepily. "I'm also looking for....

Jonghyun shivered at his tone of voice.

"That very particular frog boy." Sehun finished evilly. "He'll be sorry he ever took my chair."