Kai pressed a heart-shaped cookie cutter into the dough. He looked around at the flour-dusted counters. 

"Where's Kyungsoo? I can't do this anymore!" Kai complained. He pounded another cookie cutter angrily. 

"Ugh, my hair is ruined! Ruined." He muttered. He began singing a funeral song under his breath.

The back door banged open. A flustered Kyungsoo ran in, his hands waving wildly. 
"Kai! Sehun- I can't find him! That kid, seriously!" He panicked. 

"Good. One less person to share my precious hair gel with." Kai untied his apron and threw it at Kyungsoo. "I hate that kid!"

Kyungsoo stared at him. "He's your son!"

"No, Suho is the sun!"

Kyungsoo scratched his head. "We have another son? I thought we only adopted one!" 

"Suho isn't our sun, he's THE sun." Kai explained. 

Kyungsoo still didn't get it. "Who? Which son? The sun son's sun?"

Kai opened his mouth to respond, then closed it when he saw the bakery table and chair staring at him. Kai stared back nervously. He was pretty sure chairs couldn't look angry, but this one did.

Sehun came stomping in. Kyungsoo shrieked in relief. He threw himself onto Sehun, hugging and spinning him around gratefully.

"If you run off again, you're grounded!" Kyungsoo said.

Kai shrugged indifferently. "Oh, he's back."

Sehun wriggled out of Kyungsoo's arms and ran to the table. Sehun began yelling incoherently, something about potato chips and window-washing children. Throwing a temper tandrum, he kicked the table. In another burst of anger, he flipped it over. Kyungsoo blanched and hid behind Kai, who in turn screamed and jumped over the counter. The two of them ran back and forth. Their son was scary sometimes.

The bakery chair sighed. The table began crying. Sehun gasped in horror as he realized what he had just done. "I'm so sorry, Onew!" Sehun gently righted the table and patted it. "Please forgive me?"
The table looked away sadly. 

"Okay, I'll get you a chicken." Sehun rushed into the kitchen and brought back some chicken that was orginally intended for making meat buns. "Am I forgiven?"

Onew perked up. He sat down and nibbled Sehun's fingers. The bakery chair looked annoyed at the intrusion and turned from its normal yellow shade to a bright red.

Sehun apologized to the chair too and dragged him over to Onew. "Taeminnie, I'm sorry! Here, you and Onew can sit together, okay? I don't know who moved you..."
The chair blushed. 

Kyungsoo anxiously tugged his hair. He didn't know how he had raised Sehun, but clearly, Sehun took after Kai's insanity. "Hey...uh, Sehun, why don't you go play something? Instead of...talking to...yeah." 

Kai jumped up and raised his hand excitedly. "Ooh! Ooh! I have an idea! Pick me! Pick me!"

Kyungsoo sighed as loud as he could. 

"Yes, Kai."

"Sehun and I could play dolls!" Kai clapped his hands eagerly. "Wait here, I'll get my toys!"

"Kai, you're twenty eight."

"I know!" Kai skipped up the stairs. "Kyungsoo, you're just jealous that I have more toys than you."

Kyungsoo turned around, and as discreetly as possible, banged his head against the wall, until he fainted.

Sehun tied the chicken to Onew's third leg. The bakery table happily the chicken. Taemin wasn't paying attention anymore. He sighed dreamily as he thought of his handsome prince that had come to the bakery shop this morning. And out of all the chairs in the shop, he had chose to sit in front of Taemin! Taemin hid a giggle. He couldn't let Onew know about this. It didn't count as cheating, he was only thinking about that man.

Sehun started telling his best friends about the deer and his bun, Minseok. He had a plan to get his bun back, and the deer as well.
----

Baekhyun ran the razor one last time over his smooth legs happily. 
"My legs are prettier than a girl, right Chen?" He sang.

Chen wasn't there. Baekhyun pouted and then got up. He began reapplying his eyeshadow. Baekhyun brushed his hair until it gleamed like a metal helmet. Satsified, Baekhyun took a selca to show off his lovely face. He started going through the filters. He couldn't decide between X-Pro and Velencia. He thought long and hard. Then, he snapped his fingers. 

"I know! I'll go no filter!" Baekhyun said. "Hashtag no-filter!"

Luhan listened outside the bathroom curiously. What was Baekkie doing? The deer shrugged and galloped away to find Chen again. He wanted to see if he had unlocked the door yet.

Honestly, Chen was so rude sometimes, Luhan thought.

Meanwhile, Chen was having a long, philosphical, conversation with the bun, who called himself Minseok.

"So you're saying that when people die, they die a death?" Chen asked.

"Yes. Once Confused-cious or Confuse-cious or... whatever his name was, said that you should respect your elder berries, because when they die, they'll give their money all to you." Minseok said wisely.

Chen nodded thoughtfully. "So is my dad an elder berry?"

"I'm afraid so." Minseok said gravely. 

Luhan tapped the door with his hoof. "Who is it?" Chen shouted. Then he remembered the deer.

No answer, save for an insistent tapping. 

"Oh no, it must be Lulu. Quick, hide!" Chen grabbed Minseok and slithered behind the lamp. 

He covered his eyes. The room looked dark now. Luhan probably couldn't see him anymore. Chen sat on Minseok, hiding him in the seat of his pants.  Chen couldn't let poor Minseok be lonely. He felt something tug at his heartstrings. He felt that Minseok needed to be protcted, specfically, by him. Luhan kicked the door down angrily. The little brown deer stalked into the room, glancing around. He didn't see Chen. 

Darn, he always knows where to hide, Luhan thought. He rubbed his eyes in annoyance.

Then he had an epiphany. Maybe he should look for the hiding spot where Chen had hid every day for three years. He looked behind the lamp. There he was!

Minseok hopped out from beneath Chen's pants. He felt squished. Luhan lowered his head until he was eye to eye with the bun. Now his neck felt uncomfortable, but the bun was so pretty he didn't want to look away.

"Hi, deer!" Minseok blushed.

Luhan felt giggly. He nudged the little bun and Minseok jumped, startled.

"Oh. What's your name?" Minseok said shyly.

Luhan, the deer thought.

"Luhan? Hi, Im Minseok!" 

Chen scowled. He snatched the bun back. "He's mine!" 

Minseok frowned. "I don't belong to anyone."

Luhan kicked Chen as hard as he could and caught the bun in his hooves. The two ran off to the garden to talk. The back door slammed shut.

Chen moaned into his pillow and sobbed. He began singing Taylor Swift break-up songs.

"You belong with meeee..." He sniffed quietly. "You belong with me. And I'll get you back, don't worry!"

A/N:

Sorry about not updating yesterday! Enjoy!

A/N from KeyAngel, co-author: So the chair is Taemin, and the table is Onew. Ontae, anyone? (Get it? Ontae-ble? Table?) :p

Who do you think is the most insane? The various inanimate objects?