(POV Sungmin)

"Why didn't you tell me you liked Kyuhyun!!!...."

My body stood still, my eyes wide, and my heart beating.

I would've never imagined those words coming out of Eunhyuk's mouth. If it had, than maybe said in private, but not in front of practically the whole student body.

I couldn't control the stream of tears that relentlessly kept pouring, it seems as though the dam that blocked all the tears I was hiding broke, and released every bit of salty water from my body.

I was in the library in the 4th floor, the library that students visit the least, in superstition, declaring it was haunted. The deeper in, the amount of people depleted, until, finally, isolation. 

I didn't want anyone to find me, because if they did, they wouldn't think of me as Sungmin anymore, they would think of me much lower than they did previously.

Hearing comments like, "Sungmin is gay? ewwww," "I'm going to stay clear of him...," "Is it contagious??" , 
Is exactly the reason why I didn't want to say anything about my liking.

Besides that, I believe that I don't think I'm gay, in fact, I've never been attracted to anyone but Kyuhyun.

Uh...Kyuhyun......

He was also the reason why I didn't want this to get out. Now, everything will be weird between us, he might even be disgusted by my attraction to him, and despise me, and that's not what I want!!!!!!

It's all because of Eunhyuk. I get it, I didn't tell him about my issues but he always has to be so loud and obnoxious about it, talking loudly about everything important and secretive, often attracting a crowd. 

But I'm in the wrong?!?! He always puts his problems first, letting them overcrowd his mind, and ignoring that everyone else in this ing world has issues too!! He has the audacity to tell me why I didn't tell him , when he doesn't tell me anything about why he is so off all of a sudden?? This whole happened because of how selfish he is!!!

Ultimately, I do take blame. Because, unlike Eunhyuk, I am aware of my actions. However, just because I didn't tell him, doesn't mean I wasn't going to tell him. I wasn't ready to tell him anything, just like he's probably not ready to tell me his problems. If only he was patient, and didn't rush things, and told me HIS PROBLEMS as well, we wouldn't get to this point. We wouldn't have to search for answers. And, we would still be eating Mandu in the lunchroom, talking to friends, and doing homework that we don't understand, finally figuring it out together.

But no, now I am rolled up in a roly poly, legs close to my chest, arms wrapped around them, rocking back and forth like a person from a mental asylum, thinking of a plan to escape.

I touched my eyes for a second, feeling crust under it, and dry tears on my cheeks. I think I cried my last tears. My eyes feel so dry and empty, like a dessert, barren and isolated. 

Even though I am sad and angry AND disappointed at the same time, I also feel good. I released everything that I wanted to release, and just with that in mind, it makes me feel good. It makes me feel, wholesome.

"Sungmin!"

My head shot up from my lap and twist to the source of the voice, Eunhyuk.

"Okay.... Don't be alarmed, and please, please do not run away, or ignore me, please." Eunhyuk said as he saw me almost get out of my position to retreat somewhere else. I began to go back to my place, wrapped up in my roly poly, face buried inside, as I didn't know what to do. My body was reacting with so many responses, "run away, push him away, hit him, CRY..". 

" I was told by an evil, but I guess helpful, "thing" that you would be here." He explained, slowly approaching me to than finally, crouch down to my level, sitting Indian style, criss crossed legs and hands inside the whole he created with them.

"You have every right to be mad at me. And I'm not here to make you forgive me, I'm here to give you the sincerest apology a person can give, while comforting you the best I can. So... Sungmin, I am sorry. I am really sorry. I am very sorry. I am truly sorry. My intentions are always pure, and never in vain when it comes to you. You are the closest person to me, the most admirable person in my life, the most deserving person God has given to me, and I am honored to just have you in my life, and meet you, and be friends with you. I messed up, and yes, I do mess up a lot, but again, it's never intentional. When I confronted you, I was hurt that you didn't tell me anything that was going on, and although I am a hypocrite because I haven't been so true to you like you weren't true to me, I still wanted to know. I am selfish! I am vey selfish and I want to know what's going on so I could be the best friend to you, because I feel as though I have to do so much for you, because you have done so much for me!"

"What I did to you must've really hurt you, and probably messed up your high school career, socially. And now I know that being social is what you love, and since I tattered it, it must really hurt. That's really special to you! It makes you happy hearing others be happy because that's what you like to do, especially when your life right now isn't the best. Seeing you with tear stains on your cheek, red eyes, pouty lips, and your legs hugging your chest is heartbreaking!!! It is heartbreaking to know I have done this to you!!!! I am so very sorry! I haven't spoke to you for weeks and with that pain inside and now the pain of seeing you likes this added, it makes me want to jump off a bridge! You are far more important than any of my problems, and I am soo sorry I forgot that!!!!!! I am so sorry Sungmin!!!" 

Eunhyuk's eyes were swelling up with tears. Staring at him, I touched his cheek, glancing at my masterpiece. His cheek was swelled up. Under the patch, I saw a little of his black and blue skin. 

When his tears finally touched my hand, I wiped them off. I'm sick of seeing tears. I've cried too much recently. Today, yesterday, the day before that, just days and days filled with crying. 

"I swear from this day on I will be so honest with you! I swear from the bottom of my heart! I have been feeling so many overwhelming emotions lately, I took some of mine and placed them on you. You don't need anymore than you have, and I'm sorry for that... I'm so sorry...," Eunhyuk said, looking at me with the most sincerest eyes I've ever seen. 

I proceeded to hug him. I was too tired to talk, too tired to give him another punch, too tired to anything really. I just wanted to sleep. I rested my head on his lap and looked up at him, to see his o shaped mouth turning into a smile. He placed one of his hands on my head, my hair. I smiled, closing my eyes.

"Pabo (idiot)......"